Phantasmal Black
by DiscordianSamba
Summary: Five years ago, Kudo Shinichi was able to leave behind his life as Edogawa Conan- but not without sacrifices. Dedicated to hunting down the remnants of the Black Organization, he encounters a ghost from the past, an ally thought long dead. What at first is believed to be a betrayal most dire quickly proves to be far more complicated than that.
1. Echoes

AN: SLAM DUNKS THIS FANFIC INTO THE DETECTIVE CONAN TAG AND SHOUTS LOUDLY TO THE SKY. Do you know that feeling when you've got such a good rhythm going with a chapter and you produce something that you think is fantastic? That's this. That's this opening chapter. I'm so proud I could weep. Literally. I cried while writing this chapter. Not because of pride though, but because of other things.

This was an idea that once it sparked in my head, pretty much demanded to be let out. It's more or less been all I could think about for the past few days tbh. What started as just tinkering with the first chapter turned out to be writing the whole damn thing all at once instead, whoops. I actually had meant to update _The Bells Chime Beyond_ before I started working on this, so... surprise I guess?

I've got some cool ideas for this story, any number of twists and turns and it's something I'm really looking forward to telling, so I'm hoping that everyone looks forward to it just as much! As always, please, leave a review!

* * *

 **Phantasmal Black**

 **Chapter One**

 **Echoes**

* * *

The plan had been going smoothly, right up until the bad weather had hit.

The waves that rocked the yacht powerful enough to send less surefooted people searching for something to hold on to, the torrential rain that made the surface of the deck slick and unforgiving, and the howling wind that threatened to blow away anyone foolish enough to venture outside. He'd expected that a storm was on it's way judging from that morning's news report, but he hadn't expected it to become something this intense.

But this wasn't a place where he could back down- and his opponent was just as trapped as he was now. There was one more advantage in Edogawa Conan's favor- the fact that he wasn't alone on this ship. As he exchanged a silent look with Hattori Heiji, his friend and rival, an understanding formed between the pair. It was only because of a carefully formulated plan that they had managed to trick Vodka and isolate him from Gin in the first place, and they weren't about to give up here because of a little rain.

The plan had been going smoothly, right up until the gunshot rang out.

They had been certain, so certain, that Vodka had been out of bullets. Somewhere along the line, they had made a mistake, mixed up a noise, or were deceived. There was one more bullet left in Vodka's gun, a bullet that found itself piercing straight through the back of a certain high school detective. A bullet that had been intended for someone else, a bullet that wasn't meant for the target it shot through, straight and true.

" _Hattori!_ "

Clutching at his chest, blood trickling from his lips, they nevertheless worked to give Conan one of his characteristic grins, an expression that normally lit up a room like sunlight. Even as he gasped for breath, he lifted up a hand to try and reassure the panicked not-child by his side, goal of capturing Vodka having almost completely fallen to the wayside as the development he feared the most unfolded in front of his very eyes.

The plan had been going smoothly, right up until the wave struck the boat.

Powerful enough to tilt the boat, those on the deck found themselves tilting, sliding, the cold, choppy seas roaring beneath them, threatening to consume them. As the yacht settled itself down just before Conan could slide off it himself, he reached out, grabbing Heiji's hand and holding on as tightly to it as he possibly could, his tiny, all too childlike hand being the only thing keeping him from falling into the ocean.

It was a fate he'd managed to escape from once before, but whatever miraculous luck the detective of the west possessed that had enabled him to survive countless other near death situations, it seemed as if it had finally run out tonight. As Conan's grip on Heiji's hand loosened, the blood that coated it making it slippery, the Osakan detective, who had been fading in and out of consciousness, looked up at his friend, who was trying so hard to save him.

Flashing one last wide smile towards him, what would become his last words were lost to the roar of the ocean. Conan could only watch, eyes wide with horror behind the glasses he didn't need, as his trusted friend and ally slipped from out of his grasp, the stormy seas below finally claiming what had escaped them once before.

" _Hattori!_ "

Jolting wide awake in his bed, it took him several moments to remember where he was. It was only after he checked all of his limbs that he remembered he was no longer Edogawa Conan, but had long since returned to being Kudo Shinichi. Cold sweat trickled down his neck, his heart pounding wildly in his chest, breath coming out in ragged gasps as he woke from the throes of his nightmare, still all too vivid in his mind. He became all too aware of a faint beeping sound as he slowly recovered, for a moment unable to place what it might be- before he turned slightly to his side, letting out a breath as he realized it was nothing more than his alarm clock, helpfully informing him that it was now nine in the morning, and it was time to wake up.

Silencing the alarm that seemed unnecessarily cheerful on such a morning, Shinichi slid out of bed, trying to compose himself. It had been some time since he had been haunted by such a nightmare, and he didn't even have to look at his calendar to know the reason why. This same nightmare had plagued his dreams on this day without fail for the past five years, the memories just as fresh and vivid as they were when he lived through them.

It was Hattori Heiji's birthday.

It was also the anniversary of the day the search for him had been called off. The day his status changed from 'missing' to 'deceased'.

For a moment, Shinichi found it hard to breathe, as if the walls of his room were closing in on him. And then slowly, he steadied himself, taking in short breaths at first, before he was finally breathing normally again. There were important things that needed to be done today, he thought to himself, taking in one more deep breath for good measure, before he slowly let it out.

"Right." Setting himself into the motions of getting ready for the day, some measure of relief was given to him as he splashed his face with cold water. After getting dressed and eating some breakfast, he once again checked the overnight bag he'd prepared, making sure everything that he needed was there. He definitely couldn't forget the present that he'd prepared for Heiji's mother- when he'd done so last year, Ran had never let him hear the end of it.

They hadn't worn black to the funeral.

It had caused a stir at the time, given tradition, but it hadn't seemed appropriate. There had been no body to view, no corpse to cremate. It had long since been lost to the seas, and no matter how much they'd scoured Tokyo Bay, they could never find a trace of it. For the longest time, Shinichi held out hope in his heart that this meant there could be a chance, however slight, that he'd managed to survive. He'd gone so far as to search every hospital in Japan, starting with the Tokyo area, and going as far as Hokkaido in search of any patients that might match the description of Heiji. Even after the funeral, he kept desperately searching, checking even small clinics in hopes of finding some trace of his friend.

To the very end, he had never stopped blaming himself. Even as he chased the Black Organization into the very Earth, only a few scattered remains of the once mighty empire still remaining, even as he finally was able to return to being Kudo Shinichi, even as he opened up his own detective agency, and even as he finally asked Ran to marry him, he never stopped blaming himself.

The only reason he hadn't shut down completely was perhaps in part due to his hatred towards the Black Organization. Though he shouldered most of the blame for the untimely death of the detective of the west, if the Black Organization hadn't existed in the first place, such a thing wouldn't have been allowed to happen. He wouldn't be satisfied until he had rooted out every last Black Organization member and ensured that they faced justice, willing to chase them to the very ends of the earth.

The other, he supposed, was because he knew that were such a thing possible, Hattori Heiji himself would have returned from the dead purely to beat him over the head and tell him to get over it already. There was no way he would have wanted to see Shinichi give up- whatever his last words might have been, he could imagine at the very least, they were something along the lines of that very same thing. So he'd moved forward with life, starting by putting one foot in front of the other.

Starting by dragging Vodka down into hell. Within the maximum security prison he was now locked away in, there was no chance that he would ever escape, facing a life sentence. He would rot away in there, and yet somehow, it still didn't feel like punishment enough.

Gin had vanished, all but fading into the ether. Occasional reports of him still cropped up now and then, and it was clear that he was the one holding the reins of what remained of the Black Organization. Shinichi had vowed that he would track him down if it was the last thing he ever did in his life.

With the Organization no longer having the reach or power it had in the past, the day came when it was safe for him to live as Kudo Shinichi again- a chance which he had quickly taken when offered. Any notion of giving up his life as the high school detective of the east as some kind of atonement for causing the death of the high school detective of the west was something he quickly deemed foolish. Heiji had started this quest in part to help him get back his normal body, after all- if he refused the antidote, it would have all been meaningless.

It had been Kudo Shinichi, not Edogawa Conan, who had attended the funeral. Ran had been there as well, as had Kazuha, an expression like stone on her face. Whatever tears she had, she'd already used them all up. He'd expected her to blame him, to hate him- but such feelings never came. Somehow, in that moment, Shinichi thought he understood why Heiji loved her so much- words which he had never been able to convey himself.

Shinichi did it for him. It only felt right.

It turned out that Kazuha still had a few tears remaining after all.

He wasn't certain what was easier- dealing with those who knew, or dealing with those who didn't. The Detective Boys had been especially difficult, especially in his days as Edogawa Conan. Old enough to understand the concept of death, even without the crime scenes they regularly found their ways into, they had done their best to cheer him up, dragging him to places that they thought would be fun. Sometimes it worked, other times it didn't. On the worst of days, he grew frustrated with them, snapping at them in a very un-Conan-like fashion. On the best of days, he felt as if he couldn't ask for a better friend, and made a silent vow to not let 'Edogawa Conan' simply disappear, to keep him alive through letters for as long as it took for them to figure out the truth for themselves.

They might have not known the person who had claimed he was his 'detective teacher' all that well, but they'd all been fond of him- honestly, who couldn't be? That same bright and cheery nature that sometimes frustrated him to no end was downright infectious. He'd have to search far and wide to find someone who truly, genuinely hated Heiji.

The whole world somehow seemed all the grayer with his loss.

"Are you ready to go, Kudo-kun?"

The sound of Ai's voice roused him from his thoughts, and he turned to look down at the girl who had apparently been waiting for him for some time now, judging from the expression on her face. Unlike himself, Ai had refused to take the antidote- there had been nothing for her to go back to as Miyano Shiho, but the world of Haibara Ai was filled with colors that Shinichi had almost come to envy in his worst moments. Even with the traces of the Black Organization out there still, she'd come to live with a lightness to her step that had been a long time coming, without constantly second guessing every shadow that shifted and twisted in an odd way.

Wearing the uniform of Teitan Junior High School, twelve year old Haibara Ai looked up at the twenty two year old detective with expectant eyes. "You didn't forget the present this time, did you?"

"I remembered it." Shinichi said, holding the bag up in one hand. "Is the Professor not coming with you?"

"He had an appointment this morning he just couldn't get out of." Ai said, shaking her head. "He'll be meeting us there later though. Is Ran-san still going to take a late flight out?"

"Yeah. She wanted to come earlier, but she couldn't abandon the kids she's been teaching either. Today's their first real tournament after all." Shinichi said, a slightly fond smile surfacing on his face as he spoke of his fiancee. "Well, I think Hattori would understand a reason like that."

"I suppose that much is true." Ai said, closing her eyes as she fell into step beside him. "Who else is coming?"

"His parents and Kazuha will be there of course." Shinichi began, frowning a little as he tried to recall who was coming today, and who couldn't make it. "I think Masumi will show up as well. I don't think Kaito will come. He never really knew Hattori in the first place, I don't think he knows what to do with himself in situations like this."

"Hakuba probably won't make it either. Last I heard from him, he was still chasing Paikaru's tail." Shinichi told her, watching something shift in her gaze as the codenames of one of _them_ slipped from his lips. While it didn't invoke the same amount of fear within her as it had in the past, it still didn't go without a reaction. "He thinks he has a solid lead that will finally allow him to chase him down. From there, I think he hopes to catch hold of Merlot."

"It would be good if he did." Ai said simply, closing her eyes. "Aside from Gin, those two are causing us the most problems. There's a limit to the information Vermouth can give us now that she's been in jail for the past five years, after all."

"That's true." Shinichi said simply, eyes narrowing slightly at the mention of that woman's name. In the end, she had been the only member to come willingly. To the very end, he had never understood her, and he doubted that he ever would for as long as he lived. While they might not have understood each other, they had still found something of an understanding between them in the end. If there was information that she could provide him about her former allies, then she was more than willing to give it to him- provided that he asked, of course.

Losing Heiji had almost been enough to cause him to close himself off against offers of help in tracking down the Black Organization. Ran had been the one to shake him out of it in the end- after Heiji's death, he hadn't been able to keep the secrets that he hid within the tiny body of Edogawa Conan from her any longer, and had spilled them out. In the end, he'd ended up with more allies than he could ever have imagined- not only were the FBI by his side, but Ran, Masumi, and Kazuha, the members of the Tokyo Metropolitan Police department and the Osakan police department, the double agents that resided within the Black Org itself, Kir and Bourbon, as well as fellow high school detective Hakuba Saguru.

Perhaps the most unexpected ally, he thought, had been Kaito Kid. The phantom thief clad in white had proven himself to be a most valuable ally. As it turned out, their goals were not so different- and with the fall of the Black Organization came the fall of the shadowy group that plagued the Magician in the Moonlight since a time long before Kuroba Kaito had taken up his mantle.

Even now, Hakuba continued to chase the shadow of the Organization. He and Heiji might have never gotten along in the end, but that no longer mattered to him. Working by his side on occasion was Kazuha herself, who had decided to join the police, wanting to do something to follow in the footsteps of the childhood friend that she loved. She never felt like she could quite match up to him, Shinichi knew that much- but she was determined to continue to work to root out every last Black Organization member until none of them walked free any longer.

Five years had passed since then, and although they had seemed long while he was living them, when he reflected back on them, it seemed as if they had gone by in a flash. In those five years, he'd managed to come to terms with Heiji's death, to accept the fact that his good friend was truly gone. It had only been a short time period in which he'd actually known him, a little over the span of his year, and yet he'd etched himself into his memories in a way that ensured he'd never be forgotten.

Even though he'd accepted it, there were still times when he found himself wishing that it might be so, that there might have been a stone he hadn't turned yet, a way for Heiji to have survived. Heiji had always been so good at appearing without warning, after all.

There were times he imagined coming down to his living room in the morning to find Heiji there, having made himself at home with a cup of coffee.

There were times when he imagined entering his agency's office, to find that the client waiting for him wasn't a client at all, but rather, Heiji, with a wild tale on his lips, and a smile that lit up the whole room.

There were times when he imagined himself paying a visit to the Professor, only to find Heiji there, sitting amidst the Detective Boys, engaging them in a case story.

Most recently, there were times when he imagined that as he took his place to wait for Ran to walk down the aisle, Heiji would be there, pestering him about what had taken him so long to finally tie the knot once and for all.

None of these times could ever be real, he thought, as nice it was to think of them. Out of those who had been struck deeply by the loss of the Osakan detective, the only people that remained who carried on the beckon of hope that he was alive where his mother- his mother, and Kazuha.

Still worn around her neck, he knew, was a weathered omamori, wrapped in purple cloth that looked like it had seen somewhat better days. Contained within were the links of steel that had bonded them together in their childhood, and a single photograph of Heiji's smiling face, trapped in time. She'd sooner part with her life than part with it.

The train ride to Osaka was strangely quiet, Shinichi thought to himself. Osaka itself seemed strangely quiet without the sound of Heiji's voice rising above the crowd, once again calling him by the wrong name. As they walked past the sights of the city, he could see shadows, echoes of the teenager that was, helpfully informing him that this place had the best takoyaki, and that this place was somewhere he truly couldn't miss when it came to dining in Osaka.

"Let's eat here tonight, Haibara." Shinichi said, motioning towards the restaurant they had just passed by, hearing echoes of Heiji's glowing recommendations of it in his ears. "We'll take a late dinner with Kazuha when Ran gets here."

"Sounds like a plan." Ai said simply, finding nothing to argue with. The first time she had come to Osaka herself, after all, had been for Heiji's funeral. She carried her regrets with her, wondering if she should have made more of an effort to get to know him when he was alive. She felt as if she could understand the heavy blame that Shinichi carried on his shoulders a little bit- it echoed the blame that she carried on her own, the deep sense of loss that the death of her older sister still sent through her.

As they made their way through the city of Osaka, Shinichi continued to catch glimpses, ghosts, and echoes, of Heiji everywhere he looked. The first time he'd come here, for the funeral, seeing them had been like opening up a wound, a raw, angry wound that refused to heal. But with time having passed, they became something fond, a chance to see a face that he could no longer see, and hear a voice that he could no longer hear.

In a world where Hattori Heiji no longer existed, only memories remained behind.

* * *

Sometimes when she closed her eyes, Toyama Kazuha felt as if she could still hear his voice. His smile, bright as the sun, had forever burned itself beneath her eyelids, a face that she wouldn't forget no matter how much time went by. When she held her well worn omamori within her hands, she felt a strength rising up inside of her, as if he was encouraging her to move forward, step by step.

When she first heard the news, she had frozen. Then she had laughed.

It was a hollow, empty, bitter sound, one that filled her ears and sent her parents to her side, dripping with worry. Once the sound passed, the tears finally came, as she realized that this wasn't some kind of horrible joke, but the reality that she now lived in. Her worst fears, the ones that she always tried to lock up in her heart, had finally come true- and far sooner than she had ever expected them to.

Even so, she still held out hope. A single thread, thin as spider's silk. A shining thread of hope that she would never lay aside, something that she would take to her grave at the very end of her days.

Until then, she would work.

She had never really known Kudo Shinichi. The only times she had encountered him in the past had been brief, and he'd always given her something of a colorless impression. She didn't know what to make of the story that Ran told her in hushed and whispered tones at first, about the truth of what had caused Heiji to vanish from the face of the earth. It sounded like a joke to her ears at first, but in due time, she had come to understand it as the truth.

When she'd been introduced to Kudo Shinichi next, he was no longer colorless, no longer strangely transparent. The gray color that filled him up matched the color of the skies above, bearing threats of rain that they never seemed to fulfill. She had been ready to be angry at him, had been ready to be furious with him- but as she met his eyes, such emotions washed away from her in an instant, and she couldn't find it in her heart to hold such venomous emotions against him.

She decided to turn such feelings instead against those who had caused this chain of events to unfold. She might not have been a great detective like the boy she had grown up with, the boy that she cherished even now, even after five years had gone by- but that didn't mean she was powerless, and it didn't mean she couldn't do anything.

Besides, she had a feeling that if somebody didn't take some of the burden off of Shinichi, he'd try and do it all alone. She knew already that this was something that Heiji would not abide by- and so she had offered her help, an offer which continued to this very day, working in tandem with the two who still chased the shadows of the Black Organization into the present day.

She thought she understood why Heiji had always been so attached to Kudo Shinichi, and likewise she thought she understood why he had been unable to stand the likes of Hakuba Saguru. She found working with them both to be easier than she had expected, and had made it her personal mission to teach them both some proper self defense techniques. Shinichi seemed to be under the impression that 'kicking the nearest round object at the culprit' seemed to be a valid self defense technique, which Kazuha had given him a proper earful about.

As her cellphone rang, Kazuha scrambled to answer it, recognizing the ringtone. "Ah, Hakuba-san? Is something up?"

"I thought I should give you a call." Hakuba's voice came across the other line. "My lead is looking as if it's going to pan out after all. I've tracked Paikaru's movements back to Japan. We're in Tokyo right now. Has Kudo-kun arrived already?"

"Yes, he's here." Kazuha said. "But are you sure Paikaru's here? He's never been active in Japan before. Has something changed?"

"I can't say for certain." Hakuba said, a slight frown in his voice. "I still haven't had a chance to see his face. I'm certain that he's here however, and that I am on the correct path. Let Kudo-kun know for me, Toyama-san."

"I will." In spite of knowing that he couldn't see it on the other end of the line, Kazuha nodded her head. "Be careful, Hakuba-san. It's not a good day today."

There was a small pause on the other end of the line, before the half-British detective finally spoke up again. "I will. I'm sorry that I couldn't make it to the memorial."

"It's alright." Kazuha smiled to herself. "If he were in your shoes, that idiot detective would probably be doing the exact same thing. Except he wouldn't stop to even call."

"That's probably true." Hakuba said. "Then, I'll be going now. I'll get in touch with either you or Kudo-kun if I find out anything more."

"Right." Kazuha replied, before the detective on the other end of the line hung up the phone. Tucking her cellphone back away, Kazuha finally readied herself to receive the guests that were coming today. It wasn't often these days that the Hattori household would be filled with noise. Without Heiji roaming the halls, things had become all too quiet here.

She hovered, ever so briefly, outside of his room. It had been left untouched since that day, save for the occasions that she or his mother went inside to clean it. She'd taken his motorcycle for herself, and had learned to ride it, stubbornly keeping it as her vehicle of choice even as it began to get somewhat uncooperative in it's old age.

Placing a hand over her omamori, Kazuha closed her eyes, wondering if perhaps he still had his with him. It would be five years today since he'd finally been declared dead, but she never would accept it. Sometimes, she thought, when she held her omamori like this, she could almost feel him, across space and time, cupping his own within his hand.

Somewhere, somehow, in some form, Hattori Heiji still existed. Even if he had lost his memory and become a different person, even if he'd fallen in love with another woman (or a man, he'd always been flexible in that regard), she vowed that she would accept and love him if the day ever came that their fates once more entwined with the other. Even if the red thread that surely connected them had grown frayed and worn, it would never break.

Sometimes, she thought, if she closed her eyes, she could faintly feel a slight tug on her little finger, carrying with it a promise that this was in fact, not a world where Hattori Heiji no longer existed.

* * *

The first time he had met Hattori Heiji, Hakuba Saguru hadn't thought much of him. When he'd later learned that he was knee deep in whatever mysterious affairs that the strange boy known as Edogawa Conan had been involved in, he was at both once surprised and not. The fact that the hot blooded detective, so quick to charge into a scene that he was willing to comprise evidence was involved in such a delicate operation as dealing with what he'd come to call the Black Organization all but flew in the face of common sense.

In the brief encounters he'd had with him, the two of them had never gotten along. While the end result of the their first meeting had given him a better impression of the detective of the west, it didn't appear as if Heiji was so quick to forgive his biting remarks from the time. They were like oil and water, and they simply did not mix well together.

But the oil had vanished, leaving behind only the water.

In the end, he had sacrificed his life for someone he valued deeply, and had disappeared from this world. Only the shadows that Hakuba sometimes saw dance through the eyes of those who knew him best, remained behind.

He had gained more than his fair share of experience chasing shadows in the years that came after that. Sometimes they danced in the corner of his eyes, taunting him, just beyond his reach. Always one step ahead, the shadowy black assassins, remnants of the Black Organization, never failed to slip through his fingers, leaving only bodies in their wake, as if mocking their pursuer, laughing at the notion that someone so young could hope to stop them.

Gin, he knew, was Shinichi's territory. That was personal to him, far too personal for anyone else to dare touch. So it was not Gin that he chased, but rather, those whose reins Gin held, directing like skilled puppets. With black as their color, they slipped in and out of the night, melting into the darkness itself as they carried out their work. The names that had only floated to light as the rest of the Organization crumbled around them- assassins. Not snipers like those who had been given the codenames of Chianti and Korn, but creatures of shadow who blended in, carried out their mission, and disappeared like smoke.

But they weren't smoke.

And because they weren't smoke, it was possible to catch them.

Paikaru, ever ephemeral and elusive, had made a mistake- one single mistake that had Hakuba Saguru on his tail instantly, as soon as he received word. If he didn't act quickly, then the girl he sought would quickly disappear within the FBI, likely never to be seen again.

A single, teenage girl, proved to be the link that he had been looking for, the thread with which he would use to track down the assassin, to bring him to justice. A single, teenage girl, her hair worn high in a ponytail, orange ribbon tied neatly in spite of her shaking hands, a slightly familiar edge to her face that Hakuba couldn't quite place. In whispered tones, she told him that she had hidden, and hadn't been discovered by the man who had killed both her parents and older brother alike. As she held her breath, not even daring to let out the slightest sound, she had survived the night. When dawn broke, and the police arrived, only then did she crawl out of her hiding place, cold and shaking.

A young man of dark complexion. Black clothes, with black boots, and nearly black hair. This was the description that she slipped to Hakuba, information she had gleaned by peeking out of the cracks of her hiding place. It was the most vivid description he'd had of either of the Organization's faceless assassins yet, and it was more than enough for him to go on.

And yet, as he closed in on him, tracing him all the way back to Japan, there was something lingering in the back of his mind, something that bothered him. It almost felt as if he were about to step over a threshold which he should not cross, overcome by the feeling that he should allow this denizen of the shadows to remain in the shadows, features forever obscured by them. Perhaps it was something in the girl's gaze that had flickered strangely when he asked for a description, something about the brief moment in which she had held her tongue.

But Hakuba Saguru was a detective, and detectives did not back down based purely on vague sensations of apprehension alone. They continued to press forward, until the truth came to light, heedless of whatever ugly things might be revealed as a result.

He was close. So close that he could feel it in his very bones. So close to closing in on a shadow that he had been chasing for a little under five years. While the bigger shadow of Merlot still loomed before him, untouched by the small light that had been cast on their disciple, he knew that it would only be a matter of time.

So Hakuba waited.

Entering the hotel in which he was certain that Paikaru now resided within would only allow the assassin to catch wind of him, and to vanish back into the shadows, disappearing entirely once more. He'd chased them this far for months by only existing at the edge of his awareness, and while this had cost him a number of chances in which to see his face, it had allowed him to not lose his tail. Even trailing one step behind, he would catch up to him eventually.

And from there, it would only be a matter of time.

The cafe that he sat in, observing the hotel across the street, was perhaps not as charming as the ones in England, but nevertheless had it's own charm to it. He was not here to dwell on that however, as much as a good cup of tea was a never fail companion to a stakeout. And it was, indeed, a good cup of tea- one that he placed carefully to rest when his detective instincts pulled at him.

Quickly paying his bill, Hakuba left the cafe, tailing the shadow of a man who had stepped out in the light.

Black clothes and black boots. The black suit that he wore could be described as being somewhat slovenly worn, going somewhat against what he'd come to expect from the man he'd spent the past few months chasing after. Hardly formal, his boots appeared to be something one would expect to see a biker wear before a skilled assassin.

Nearly black hair, the back of which struck a familiar chord in Hakuba in a manner that he did not like. Readying the thin camera he carried on his person, waiting to snap a shot the moment he caught a hint of his face, Hakuba held his breath.

A young man with a dark complexion. Certainly, he seemed younger than he had anticipated- even if he couldn't see his face, it was in the way that he carried himself, the way that he moved. His dark complexion stood out amongst the Japanese that he passed by, stirring an echo of a familiar sight deep within him.

As the young man turned slightly, eyes turning to look at the crossing light in front of him, a hint of impatience creeping across his face as he waited for it to change, Hakuba's body moved purely on instinct, snapping a photograph, forever capturing his face on film.

All while Hakuba Saguru found his breath taken from him- not from any sinister plot, not from a blade which struck out from those passing by. There was, in fact, nothing that was actively working to prevent him from breathing, nothing that was actively causing the color to drain from his face, his usually composed expression slipping, and slipping badly.

Unaware, the young man with the codename of Paikaru disappeared amongst the crowd of people crossing the street, vanishing into the masses that lined the Tokyo streets. Like a ghost, he vanished amongst them, his scent lost to the detective who had crossed countless countries in pursuit of him.

With slightly shaking hands, Hakuba brought up the image in his camera, of the face that was forever frozen in time inside of it. A face he knew.

Like a ghost from the past that had risen from it's grave to haunt him, suddenly he came to understand the meaning of the unease that had plagued him for months. He came to understand then, perhaps far too late, why this had felt as if it were something he were not meant to know.

All at once, he resolved, it would be Shinichi that he contacted, not Kazuha,- and he would do so in person, not daring to phone him with information like this. This was something that needed to be handled face to face, even on a day such as this.

Twenty two years ago, on this day, Hattori Heiji had been born. Hakuba Saguru knew nothing about the circumstances of his birth, though he expected that his mother had cried. Mothers generally did.

Five years ago, on this day, Hattori Heiji had officially died, his legal status changing from 'missing' to 'deceased'.

And on this day, one that was forever marked by both joyous birth and tragic death, it appeared that Toyama Kazuha and Hattori Shizuka had been right all along. The first ally that Edogawa Conan had trusted with his valued secret, outside of the Professor who had known it from the outset, was not dead.

Hattori Heiji was alive.

But there would be no joyous fanfare, no tear jerking homecoming.

With no other explanation available to him, Hakuba Saguru's mind could only draw one conclusion. How long, he wondered, had Hattori Heiji played them all for fools, stringing them along with one lie after another, all while wearing the mask of someone so honest, he let Shinichi's secret slip at every given chance.

Hattori Heiji, he knew with every fiber of his being, was Paikaru. There was only one conclusion to be drawn from that.

Hattori Heiji was a member of the Black Organization.

Perhaps this was, after all, a shadow that should have been allowed to remain a shadow.

In a world where Hattori Heiji, unexpectedly, still existed, the truth that the light shone on was perhaps the ugliest yet.


	2. Ghosts

AN: Gosh, thanks for all of the feedback on the first chapter everyone! Five reviews for one chapter! That made me especially happy, doubly so considering that the previous two chapters of fic I've uploaded for other stories still haven't gotten even a single review, ahaha~. But still, I'm really happy that everyone has taken to this fic so well, so without further ado, here's the second chapter!

Thanks for reading!

* * *

 **Phantasmal Black**

 **Chapter Two**

 **Ghost**

* * *

The fact that he'd received a text message from Hakuba alone had been enough to catch Shinichi's attention. He wasn't normally the type to communicate with them, always preferring to make actual phone calls. When he sent someone a text instead, it usually had some kind of meaning.

Excusing himself from the table, Shinichi got up, and headed outside of the restaurant. The memorial service had been nice- it always was, he thought. They had then gone as a group to clean off Heiji's grave together. He'd been unable to help but notice that even now, after all this time, there was a sense of guilt and regret that haunted his parent's eyes- the burden of having outlived their son was something that weighed heavy on their shoulders, all the more so as they faced down his grave. They'd excused themselves afterwards, perhaps wanting to spend the rest of the evening in private. Sera had pardoned herself as well- she had some work to pick back up on of her own.

That left himself, Ran, Kazuha, Ai, and the Professor to eat dinner together that night, dining at the establishment that Shinichi had pointed out towards Ai earlier in the day. At the fond smile of memories that crossed Kazuha's face as soon as she saw it, he knew he had picked the right place.

Leaving the sound of their chatter behind him, pushing aside the faint sound of Ran's laughter as Kazuha related a story from her childhood with Heiji, one that they hadn't heard before, Shinichi stepped out into the night air. Pulling out his phone again, he opened up the text message, eyes narrowing as he read the message contained within.

 _'There's something I need to discuss with you, face to face. I'll be waiting at the park closest to Hattori-kun's house. Come alone. Don't tell Toyama-san.'_

The message was enough to make his skin crawl, and although he hated to essentially abandon Ran and the rest of his friends like this, his instincts as a detective knew that this was something important, something that couldn't wait. If Hakuba was telling him to come alone and to not even tell Kazuha, who he had been working on the Paikaru investigation with, then it must have been something quite serious indeed.

A slight chill crept down his spine then, and Shinichi frowned. The weather was still warm, after all, even long after the sun had set. Rather than the weather, it was the ominous feeling that clung to him that caused it.

Putting his phone away, he took in and let out a deep breath, peeking his head back into the restaurant and flashing those assembled a smile. "Sorry, everyone. Takagi-san just called me about a case. I'm going to step out for awhile to talk some things out with them, so don't wait up for me, okay?"

Amongst the noises of protest, Shinichi didn't miss the way that Ai's eyes narrowed, unconvinced of his story. Quickly dismissing himself before she had time to question him, Shinichi stepped back into the night, his thoughts turning towards what it was that Hakuba could have possibly wanted to tell him. The last thing he'd heard from Kazuha was that he was back in Tokyo, tailing Paikaru. For him to show up here in Osaka so suddenly, something big must have happened.

Making his way to the park, it was fairly easy to spot the half-British young man waiting for him. As he called out to him, he couldn't help but notice the rather troubled expression he wore, something that was almost uncharacteristic for the otherwise composed detective.

"How was the memorial, Kudo-kun?" There was something strange in the way he spoke as well- there was a strained tone to it. He didn't quite meet his eyes, instead focusing off into the distance. "My apologies for being unable to make it."

"It was nice, as such things go." Shinichi said simply, a slight frown gracing his features. After such an urgent sounding text message, it wasn't like him to beat around the bush like this. "What is this about, Hakuba? Last I heard, you were in Tokyo tracking Paikaru. Did something happen?"

Closing his eyes, Hakuba seemed to almost hesitate for a moment- before he made up his mind. "You could say that." He said simply, reaching into his pocket and pulling out his camera. "It took a number of months, but I was finally able to obtain a picture of what is highly likely to be Paikaru's face. There's probably no mistake."

"Isn't that great news?" Shinichi asked, only growing more befuddled at his fellow detective's less than enthusiastic reaction. "Shouldn't you still be in Tokyo following him though? It would be trouble if he managed to get away while you were here. If it was just a picture, you could have sent it to me on my phone."

"No." Opening up his eyes, Hakuba stared directly into those of his own, a serious look in them. "This was something I had to show you in person. As for Paikaru, he probably won't change hotels until at least tomorrow morning, so there's still time. If he's on a job, he's most likely just scouting today."

Opening up his mouth to speak, Hakuba cut him off, his eyes narrowing. "You have two options here, Kudo-kun." He began, his tone warning his fellow detective to allow him to finish speaking. "Either you can leave the investigation of Paikaru completely up to me, from start to finish, and not involve yourself at all. Personally, I would recommend it."

"The second option is that you can look at the photograph that I obtained." Hakuba said finally. "But once you do, there's no turning back from this, Kudo-kun. Please consider it seriously."

"What's there even to consider?" Shinichi blinked, his brows knitting together. "Is something wrong, Hakuba? This isn't like you."

"I suppose you could say that." Giving him a small smile, a trace of what seemed to be pain laced in it, Hakuba held out his camera to him. "Are you certain about this, Kudo-kun? This may very well be something you wouldn't want to see."

"Of course I'm certain." Taking the camera from him, Shinichi narrowed his eyes. From the way Hakuba desperately seemed to be trying to keep him out of this, it almost felt as if he were Edogawa Conan again, being chased out of another crime scene by adults. "I've already said it before, but I won't be satisfied until each and every one of those bastards is locked up where they belong."

"So be it." Hakuba said simply, his expression, for a moment, becoming completely unreadable. "It's the most recent picture."

Shooting Hakuba a look, Shinichi switched on the camera, quickly bringing up the memory storage. Perhaps the way his heart seemed to skip a beat as he looked at the thumbnail should have been a warning, as if there were alarm sirens going off in his head. Nevertheless, he pressed forward, enlarging the picture- and as his own eyes fell on the blue eyes captured within the image, he felt his breath catch in his throat.

It was as if his whole world had shrunken down to this picture, as if nothing else existed outside of it. In spite of five years having passed, in spite of the fact that he'd grown into a proper adult in that time frame, he recognized the face instantly. Unbidden he could almost hear his voice in the back of his mind, calling out his name, a broad grin showing white teeth against dark skin.

What he was looking at was unmistakably a picture of none other than Hattori Heiji.

Shinichi hadn't even realized that his hands were trembling, not at first. A complicated mix of emotions surged through him almost all at once- relief and happiness were almost automatic, before the joy was swept aside in an instant as the detective part of him caught up, reminding him of how such a photograph had come into his hands to begin with. On the heels of this realization came anger, betrayal, and finally- disbelief.

"Is this some kind of joke, Hakuba?" He finally cracked out, unable to look up at him, unable to tear his eyes away from the face in the photograph, studying every inch, every detail. Searching for signs, looking for clues, trying to find anything that would indicate that this wasn't the real face of the person captured in the camera. But everything in the picture- the shade of skin, the color of his hair, even the thickness of the eyebrows- screamed to him that this wasn't a mistake, that this was real.

Swallowing, Shinichi finally tore his gaze away from the camera, anger flashing through his eyes as he repeated himself. "Is this some kind of joke, Hakuba?"

"I'm afraid not, Kudo-kun." Hakuba said simply. He couldn't honestly say that he hadn't been expecting this kind of reaction, given how close they had been. "There's no mistake."

"There must be!" All but tossing the camera at the half-British detective in frustration, Shinichi turned on his heel, refusing to look at him for the moment. "This couldn't... He _wouldn't_! Hattori wouldn't be- he's _dead_ , Hakuba!" Whirling around on his heel to face him, his entire body coiled with anger. "Hattori's _dead_."

"His body was also never found." Hakuba stated simply, putting the camera back away for the moment. "Please calm down, Kudo-kun. I imagine this is a lot to take in, given how close you were with him before, but this is a matter that we need to discuss seriously. Getting angry isn't going to help."

"That's easy for you to say!" Although his eyes narrowed as he snapped at him, nevertheless, Shinichi knew that he was right. He'd tried to warn him, after all- but never in a million years could he have expected something like this. Even now it still seemed so impossible to him- that someone who would have been so willing to take a bullet for him could ever possibly be involved with the likes of the Black Organization- it was absurd!

This was _Hattori Heiji_ they were talking about here, after all. Honest to a fault, good natured, hotblooded Hattori Heiji. Quick to grin and even quicker to laugh, with a smile that lit up a room like sunshine. Shinichi's own complete opposite in so many ways, someone that he had trusted without even a shadow of doubt from the very first time he'd revealed his secret to him. He'd never even thought twice about trusting Heiji with information in relation to the Black Organization, and he'd even trusted him in the past to have his back countless times.

So the idea- the very idea that he might have been one of _them_ \- was enough to make Shinichi's skin crawl, and his blood run cold. Part of him wanted to write it off as a coincidence- the fact that Heiji was alive was true enough, but it was just by pure chance he happened to be at the same hotel Paikaru was supposed to be staying at, and it was by pure chance that he happened to match the description the witness had given.

But the other part was already starting to question exactly _how long_ the one known as the detective of the west had been involved with _them_. Even before they had met? Was the reason he'd turned up at the detective agency in the first place looking for Kudo Shinichi because he was given orders from the Organization to look for him? Or was it afterwards, after he'd already gotten involved with Shinichi's plans to take them down.

And _why_? Was there a reason? Kazuha? Had it been Kazuha? Had Kazuha been in danger? She was the only person Shinichi could imagine Heiji betraying him for, after all. He'd do the same thing for Ran, in the end. But if that were the case, why take a bullet for him? Were the feelings of friendship that the Osakan held for him actually genuine? Why risk his life for him? It didn't add up, it didn't make any sense.

If he had already been working for the Black Organization even before they had met, had he been lying to him all this time? Had that friendly, open personality of his been a complete lie? Or had there been some part of the teenage detective that had grown to like him- perhaps all this time he'd been trying to tell him about this, but he'd just never noticed, never really second guessed him in the slightest. Had he lived with his secret as a weight on his conscience, then? Had he always wanted to try to confess the truth to him, to reveal the truth to him. How would he have even taken it if he had?

Was taking the bullet for him some kind of attempt to redeem himself- did he think he had no other avenue but death?

What exactly was it that he'd tried to tell him, before he'd slipped from his grasp, disappearing into the ocean?

"Kudo-kun," Hakuba began, but Shinichi cut him off, holding up a hand.

"I'm alright, Hakuba. I'm fine." He repeated, taking in and letting out a deep breath. Taking a seat on a park bench, he rested his forehead against his hands, trying to rack through his brain for information, trying to figure out why such an absurd truth had come to light. There was something in the back of his mind that was bothering him, something he was attempting to dig up. Something... something about someone, something about-

Something about Haibara.

"That's right!" Dropping his hands, Shinichi rose to his feet so quickly that it almost startled Hakuba. "Haibara!"

That was right! She'd always been able to sense members of the Black Organization. Even when Vermouth had been in disguise, she was always aware of her presence. And though they hadn't spoken often, she'd never had such a reaction towards Heiji- in fact she never really so much as questioned Shinichi's trust in his fellow high school detective. With a slight sigh of relief, Shinichi sunk back down on the park bench, gaze turning up towards the starry sky above.

It couldn't have been before, then.

Maybe it was a bit careless of him to be so quick to dismiss the notion based purely off Ai's supposed sixth sense for Black Organization members- but it had never failed them before. If that was the case, then it was impossible for Heiji to have joined their ranks while he had still been 'alive', so to speak. It was a little more than just that though- if taking the bullet for him really had been an attempt to atone, then it still wouldn't explain why he'd disappeared and continued to work for them afterwards. If anything, he would have come back and confessed everything.

Perhaps with Hattori Heiji believed dead, he might have thought it was only a matter of time before the truth came to light, and had simply decided to continue with the only other life he had available to him. Maybe he thought that would be easier than to stick around and wait for people to learn the truth during the Organization's fallout. Maybe he'd always expected that one day Kudo Shinichi would catch up to him like this. But even then, he didn't think Heiji had so little faith in him that he wouldn't be able to come to terms with the truth.

If that was the case, it must have been afterwards.

Which still, admittedly, left the question as to _why_. Again his thoughts turned back towards Kazuha- it was possible that they'd threatened him to cooperate with them, otherwise they would kill her. If that was the case, even Heiji would have probably gone along with them- but there was still something about that that didn't quite sit right with him. If that really was the case, why have him disappear? Why not have him return home to Osaka, where he'd do them the most good? He'd be able to gather information for them from there, from both Conan himself and the likes of his father, information that could have prevented their downfall.

And yet they hadn't.

Something, he thought, was missing.

"Kudo-kun," Hakuba spoke up again, and this time made sure he could finish what he was trying to say. "You can leave this matter to me, you know. It's too close to you. My relationship with Hattori-kun was never that good to begin with, so I-"

And yet Shinichi still cut him off, shaking his head.

"No." There was resolution in his voice, resolve reflected within his eyes. "This is something that I need to do myself, Hakuba, entirely because it's so close to me. If it's true that Hattori is one of _them_ , then I should be the one to deal with it. I need," he began, hesitating slightly, wondering if he should tell him this. "...I need to hear it for myself. I need to know the why and the how and the when, and I need to hear them for myself, with my own ears."

"I need to meet Hattori myself, Hakuba." Shinichi said, before he backtracked a little, closing his eyes as he spoke again, not wanting anyone to see the expression in his eyes, the pain of betrayal that haunted them. "I need to speak with _Paikaru_."

The codename rolled off his lips as if the word itself were poison, a poison worse still than what had started this all.

* * *

"What do you mean you're going back to Tokyo already, Shinichi?" The frustration was evident in the voice of his fiancee, Mouri Ran- and in her body language as well, hands placed on her hips, a cross expression on her face. "On Hattori-kun's memorial day even!"

"I don't want to go back either." Shinichi told her, as he finished repacking his overnight bag, slinging it over his shoulder. "But Takagi-san's in a tight spot with this case, I can't just leave her."

He'd decided to continue with the lie that it was Takagi Miwako- formerly Sato Miwako- now a chief Inspector with the Tokyo MPD and on her way to becoming far more- had been the one who had called him out for a difficult case. There was no way he could let Ran know the real reason he was returning to Tokyo in such a hurry. If Ran were to know, it would only be a matter of time until Kazuha knew- and both Shinichi and Hakuba agreed that this was something they should keep her out of.

He didn't want to see the expression on her face when she realized that the man she loved, and had been waiting for all this time, was a criminal. An _assassin_ , at that. As Shinichi dwelled on that for a moment longer than he wished, he felt another shiver run down his spine, finding it hard to swallow the notion that Heiji could be capable of taking another person's life.

 _"Hattori- have you ever killed someone?"_

He wasn't certain what brought up that memory, from a time when he had still been known as Edogawa Conan, but he couldn't help but recall now that Heiji had never technically given him an actual answer. At the time he'd merely thought he'd been thrown off by the question, but what if it had been something more? As much as he was leaning towards the theory that he had joined them later, he still hadn't yet ruled out the before theory.

"Even so, couldn't it at least wait until tomorrow morning?" Ran asked with a frown, though she finally seemed to relent. This aspect of Shinichi hadn't changed at all in the past five years. If anything, he were even more prone to suddenly running off, following the scent of a case- when it wasn't the scent of _them_ that he was chasing.

Sometimes she still didn't believe the whole story herself- and she'd been _involved_ in their takedown.

"That's what I asked, of course." Shinichi told her, lying through his teeth. "But it really can't wait, Ran. I'm really sorry." Giving her a quick kiss on the cheek, he shot her an apologetic look. "I'll make it up next year."

"You'd better." Ran's tone alone was enough to tell him that there would be no mercy should he not keep his promise. "At the very least say goodbye to Hattori-kun before you leave."

She didn't need to detail her words any further- Shinichi knew what she meant. Giving her a quick kiss on her other cheek, he carefully made his way into the living room of the Hattori household. There he found the altar that his father had set up for his son- a picture of the brightly smiling teenager placed on it, black ribbons draped over the top edges. The scent of incense filled his nose- his mother must have been here not long ago.

For a brief moment, he wondered if they knew, wondered if the Hattori family as a whole had some kind of connection with the Black Organization. But those raw looks of grief and sorrow that he had seen in their eyes when they had learned what had befell their son on that stormy day on the boat- that had been too real. Whatever the truth was, Hattori Shizuka and Hattori Heizo alike probably had no idea.

It was strange to look at, this memorial altar for the departed, with the knowledge that the one it was dedicated to was actually still alive. As much as there was a small part of him that wanted to believe that the person in the picture wasn't the real Hattori Heiji, he already knew full well that probably wasn't the case.

Eyes fixed on the photograph of the person he had considered his friend and rival, Shinichi's eyes narrowed. Say goodbye to him, Ran had said. Perhaps her words hadn't been too far off- perhaps this would be the last time he would see the face of the one known as Hattori Heiji. After all, the one who wore that face now went by an entirely different name- one that filled his thoughts and veins with venom.

Whatever the reasons were behind it, it still filled Shinichi with the same feelings of hurt and betrayal all the same.

He knelt down before the altar, lighting up a stick of incense of his own. Closing his eyes, letting the aroma fill his mind, the memory of the last time he'd seen Heiji alive played out behind his eyelids. Just as he watched him plummet into the sea all over again, he opened his eyes, his own meeting the blue of those that belonged to the boy in the picture.

"Goodbye, Hattori."

Rising to his feet, he felt the weight of the camera he'd borrowed from Hakuba as if it were burning a hole in his jacket.

From here on out, whatever happened, he knew he couldn't approach the person whose image was contained within it as his old friend. In what was _at least_ five years of living such a life, it was to say how much he might have potentially changed. He would not be reconnecting with Hattori Heiji, high school detective of the west, but rather a dangerous criminal who had claimed any number of lives, a member of the remnants of the once dreaded Black Organization.

Hardening his heart, he prepared to meet Paikaru.

* * *

"This has something to do with _them_ , doesn't it?"

Drawing in a sharp breath, Shinichi looked up to come face to face with none other than the one formerly known as Sherry. He had known that she hadn't been convinced by his act at the restaurant, but he hadn't expected her to show up here, waiting for him at the train station. Her bag worn over her shoulder and an assessing look in her eyes, it appeared that she was ready to accompany him back to Tokyo.

"Haibara." Shinichi blinked. "What are you doing here? Shouldn't you be back with the Professor?"

"I told him I was going home early." Ai said simply. "So? If we stand around here for much longer, we'll miss the last train."

"Ah, right." Nodding his head, Shinichi accompanied Ai into the train station, buying tickets for them. She remained silent until they were at the train platform, all but deserted at this time of night. "What gave me away?"

"The look in your eyes." Ai said simply, sparing him a glance. "You always get the same look in them whenever _they're_ involved. There was only a glimmer of it when you excused yourself from the restaurant, so I wasn't one hundred percent sure, but I was certain when you came back. Well," she paused, turning away from him. "There was something else in them as well."

"So you could tell that much." Letting out a small sigh, Shinichi tucked his hands in his pockets, shaking his head. "I really can't underestimate you, Haibara. How do you feel about becoming a proper detective?"

"Oh, am I not one already?" Ai asked, quirking her brows. "After all, it's not as if the Detective Boys had ceased activity just because Edogawa-kun isn't around anymore. Although it's the Detective Club now."

"Well, that's true enough." Nodding his head, Shinichi let a hint of a fond smile creep onto his face as he allowed himself to think about how far those three had gotten in the past few years. Individually they were inexperienced novices, but when you put them together, combined with Ai, then they had a rather promising future ahead of them. He couldn't help but be a little bit proud. "So then? What's your theory on what's bothering me, little miss detective?"

"Given what you said earlier, and given what Kazuha-san told you earlier, it most likely involves the Organization member known as Paikaru." Ai said simply. "Something's come up in that case, hasn't it? Something big enough to cause you rushing back to Tokyo. Which either means that his identity's been discovered, or someone close to you is being targeted. But if the latter were the case, you probably would be taking the earliest flight out since it's faster, so it's probably the first option."

"That's correct." Nodding his head, Shinichi spared her a look, before he turned away, gaze fixating on the train tracks before him. "Hakuba managed to track him down, finally. After all these years, we finally got a good look at his face."

Sensing that there was something to this that he wasn't telling her, Ai waited in silence. It wasn't until the train arrived, and the pair stepped on board to the nearly empty car, that he finally broke his silence again. Gaze fixed on the ceiling of the train, not wanting her to see the empty expression in his eyes, Shinichi finally broke the question he'd been wanting to ask the most.

"Hey, Haibara." He began. "Did you ever sense anything strange from Hattori?"

"From Hattori-kun?" Though she at first blinked in confusion at the sudden question, wondering what could have possibly brought it on, it only took a second longer for her to make the connection, her breath drawing in in a sharp gasp. "Surely you can't mean!?"

"I do." Closing his eyes, Shinichi leaned his head against the wall of the train, feeling the vibrations of the train through it. "That's exactly what I mean, Haibara, though I don't want to believe it myself." Glancing over towards her, he gave her a slight grin, holding out his arm. "Want to pinch me? I want to check that this isn't a dream."

Almost wordlessly, Ai reached out and gave Shinichi a rather sharp pinch on his arm, one that left the detective yelping in pain and nursing the area. Giving him a look that he got what he'd asked for, Ai fixed her attention back towards the question he'd asked of her. Closing her eyes, she tried to recall back, thinking about the first time she'd met the detective of the west- it had been when she was posing as Conan, in order to absolve Ran of her suspicions. He had tried to badly impersonate Shinichi, something which had turned out to be wholly unnecessary, since Shinichi himself was on stage that night.

"No." Ai said simply after a moment, opening her eyes and turning to face Shinichi. "I never felt a thing from him. But it's not as if my senses are infallible. For the longest time I used to believe that Subaru-san was one of them as well."

"A false positive is different than a false negative." Shinichi said with a slight frown. Besides, Okiya Subaru- or rather Akai Shuichi, as he'd gone back to his given name- had once been a member of _them_. He'd been infiltrating them for the FBI, but considering he'd been with them long enough to gain a codename, it wasn't that surprising he'd picked up some of their scent that Ai so dreaded.

"Kudo-kun, are you certain about this?" Ai asked, a look of concern appearing on her face. She knew exactly how important Heiji had been to him- and how much he'd blamed himself for his death all of these years. To find out that he was not only alive, but was a member of the very Organization that he so despised with every fiber of his being- no wonder she'd seen that painful expression of having been betrayed in his eyes. "It's not impossible that this is some kind of trick."

"To what purpose?" Shinichi asked, heaving a sigh. "I considered that myself as well. But for a trick, it's ridiculously elaborate. It would have been faster to show up in front of me with that face than to allow Hakuba to trail him for months. No," He shook his head, pulling out the camera, bringing up the photo to show Ai. "Without a doubt, this is the real Hattori."

Taking the camera from him, Ai cast her eyes downwards, studying the picture. "So it seems." She said simply, finally handing it back to him. "Given the fact that you're racing back to Tokyo, it seems that you intend on meeting with him."

Nodding his head, a grim expression crossed his face. "I need answers, Haibara, and I need to hear them from Ha-" He hesitated, almost half not wanting to use that name. He wanted it to forever be linked to the cheerful, reckless detective from Osaka who had thrown his own life away in exchange for Shinichi's own- not a member of the Organization. Swallowing, he eventually continued, averting his gaze from Ai's. "Paikaru. I need to hear them from Paikaru myself."

"And once you hear them, what do you plan on doing?" Ai asked, gaze sharpening as she watched the complicated mix of emotions that crossed his face as he stopped himself from using the name of his old rival. "Whatever the case might have been in the past, it's clear enough that he's a criminal now. He's killed people, Kudo-kun, there's no real doubt about that. Do you really think he's going to speak with you that easily? All the more so if he's always been a member of their number."

"Even if he tries to run, I'll just capture him." Shinichi said simply. "But I don't think he'll try to run. Even if he was a member of the Organization even back then, it's true enough that he took a bullet for me. There was no way he would have known he'd survive that. That clearly wasn't a calculated action."

"In other words, there's two possibilities here." Ai said simply, holding up one finger. "One, Hattori-kun was a member of the Organization while you knew him, most likely since before the two of you met. For whatever reason, he ended up getting attached to you in spite of his Organization ties, and decided to switch sides and help you, all while not saying anything about them to you."

"And two," Ai lifted up a second finger. "Hattori-kun only became a member of the Organization after he nearly lost his life. The reasons as to why being unclear."

"That's about right." Nodding his head, Shinichi folded his arms in front of him in thought. "Considering the fact that you never picked up anything from him, I'm leaning towards option two. Which of course, still leaves the question wide open as to _why_."

"And why an assassin." Ai finished for him. "With Hattori-kun's skills, it would have made more sense to put him to work as an agent like Bourbon, rather than a killer. And yet, such skills weren't made use of. Almost as if they weren't what caught the Organization's attention in the first place."

There was also the fact that nobody had come after her. To the very last, they'd protected the secret of where Miyano Shiho went, knowing that as long as Gin was still out there, he'd never give up on finding her. If Heiji really was one of them, then he had obviously kept his silence.

"Well, he was also _ridiculously_ strong in kendo." Shinichi recalled, vividly remembering some of the more absurd stunts he'd seen Heiji pull early on as they worked to combat the Organization together- before that had happened. "Out of the three of us, he was always the most athletic. But you're right. It doesn't make any sense that they wouldn't put his detective skills to work at all. They might have even been able to avoid their eventual fate if they had."

"So there must be a reason for that as well." Ai said simply, heaving a sigh, leaning back in her seat. "And if I tell you that coming face to face with him is a bad idea, would you actually listen?"

"No." Shinichi said frankly. "If you found out your older sister was still alive, and was actually a dangerous member of _them_ , wouldn't you do the same?"

"You're probably right." Ai admitted. "More than anything, I'd want to know the reason why. For a detective like yourself, I can only imagine the desire is that much stronger."

"You do, I hope," She began, looking up at him with a mild frown. "...have some kind of plan?"

She didn't like that smile he gave her- not one bit.

* * *

In the end, Shinichi's plan had been extremely simple. So simple that she could barely call it a plan, in fact. Donning a pair of sunglasses and a hat barely qualified as a disguise, she thought to herself, narrowing her eyes underneath her own. And why had she gotten dragged into this mess as well?

Positioning themselves in the hotel's lobby had been the easy part, the pair of them grabbing newspapers through which they casually pretended to browse. In reality, they were both keeping their eyes wide open, looking for any signs of Heiji- or rather, Paikaru, entering or leaving the hotel. They'd confirmed with the front desk that a young man matching his description was in fact staying there, so there was no mistake about it. With a familiar watch strapped to Ai's wrist, the two of them exchanged a silent look.

And that was when Ai felt it.

A crawling sensation, a powerful, overwhelming bolt of fear, that she hadn't felt once in the past four years, not since the Organization had gone to the ground. Even now, it sent a shiver down her spine, momentarily reducing her to a helpless girl- before she pulled out the steel that she had found within herself over these years, taking in a deep breath, and prepared herself to come face to face with one of them.

And Shinichi watched, eyes narrowed, as Ai gave off a reaction that made his skin crawl. It was exactly the same as it had been whenever she had noticed a member of the Organization in the past- and as he looked up, tracing her gaze, he felt his heart drop in his chest, the pang of anger and betrayal shooting through him again, just as vivid as it had been last evening.

He thought he had been prepared to see him in person, but apparently he was wrong.

For a moment, he almost forgot how to breathe. Shinichi could only watch as the young man stepped out of the elevator, casting what on the surface appeared to be a disinterested glance around the lobby- though the detective could recognize it for what it was, and buried himself quickly within his newspaper. Those blue eyes, so familiar, yet all at once looking as if they belonged to a complete stranger, passed over himself and Ai without so much as a second glance.

That in itself was slightly unusual- even if they had tried to conceal themselves, Shinichi had deliberately chosen disguises that weren't meant to hide them very well. There was no way that Heiji- _Paikaru,_ he reminded himself- wasn't going to have some kind of reaction to them, some spark of familiarity pass through him.

And yet there had been nothing.

Nothing at all.

As he made his way to the lobby's front desk, Shinichi was able to get a better look at him. From the distance, he could determine without a shadow of a doubt that this was the real deal. His years of dealing with Kaito Kid alone had enabled him to get far better at detecting people who were in disguise. When he heard him speak up, being close enough to catch his voice, it cemented what he already knew to be true.

Without a doubt, it was Heiji's voice. It had changed somewhat, due to the passage of time, but it was unmistakable. The only thing missing from it was his telltale Osakan accent- and even that, he thought he could still hear a faint trace of if he trained his ears. As he made arrangements to check out, a single duffel bag worn over one shoulder, Paikaru spared a glance behind him, almost sensing eyes on him. Shinichi didn't avert his gaze so much as he looked up, acting as if he were checking the clock above him, which seemed to satisfy the assassin.

Once again, no sense of familiarity passed through his eyes, no spark of recognition. There was no way he wouldn't have been able to tell who he was through this flimsy disguise, so _why_?

His arrangements finished, Paikaru turned on his heel, leaving the front desk. Exchanging a look with Ai, the two of them waited all of fifteen seconds, before they slowly got to their feet, quickly moving to follow him. Ai lingered longer still than Shinichi, before she too, fell into step some distance behind the detective. He'd already made a fair bit of progress already, Shinichi noting through narrowed eyes that he'd grown to become a good deal taller than him. Mentally assessing his height, he judged that he was probably around six feet two, at the very least- a good five or six inches taller than himself.

The clothes he was in appeared to be more casual than what he'd worn yesterday, judging from Hakuba's photograph- although even then he could hardly call that black suit 'formal'. Black was still the color of choice- a black hooded sweatshirt, black jeans, and black boots- apparently his tastes in fashion hadn't changed all that much, even though his color palate had grown substantially more limited. He looked for all the world like a normal person and a trained killer, which was probably the entire idea.

With Ai several steps behind him, having been given instructions to keep an eye on him as well in the event that anything went wrong, Shinichi carefully followed behind the young man clad in black. He couldn't help but feel a certain tension build up within him- and his eyes narrowed as he got the distinct sensation that Paikaru _definitely_ was aware that he was being followed. He made no outwardly indications of knowing as such, and it was purely Shinichi's own instincts that allowed him to catch on in the first place.

But rather than try and lose them, Paikaru allowed them to continue to follow him. He'd even stopped to purchase a newspaper and a pack of gum from a newsstand, a rather carefree expression on his face. Briefly, as he reached out to pay, Shinichi caught sight of a strange silver bracelet on his left arm- but more than that, what really caught his attention was the distinct traces of what he knew to be Lichtenberg scars, that spread out over his left hand, before crackling upwards on what he could make out of his left arm.

And the fact that even within the dancing pattern of the Lichtenberg scars, he could still clearly make out a faint scar on his left hand, one that he knew all too well. If he had even the slightest doubt within him that Paikaru and Hattori Heiji were one in the same, it was gone now. The scar that had been left behind as Kazuha desperately attempted to sacrifice her own life so that Heiji could save his own was proof enough.

When Paikaru turned a sharp corner, Shinichi knew that it was meant as a challenge to him, his pursuer. Before he knew it, they had already made their way to a more deserted area of town- there weren't many people passing by them in this area. Casting a look back towards Ai, who only narrowed her own eyes in response, Shinichi took in a deep breath, readying himself for whatever was to come when he turned that corner.

"You've been following me since the hotel, haven't you, detective?"

Paikaru's back was still turned on him as Shinichi rounded the corner, his hands tucked within his pockets. Shinichi forced himself to keep his gaze fixed on those hands, not allowing himself to look up towards his face- the face that he knew belonged to someone he had once considered his best friend. Once again, he was struck at the unfamiliar way in which Heiji addressed him. Perhaps he was simply being thrown off by the lack of an obvious Osakan accent- but there was more to it than that, he thought.

"How do you know I'm a detective?" Shinichi asked, tensing his body for anything that might happen next. "We might have just been going the same way."

"No, I don't think so." A slight hint of a smile made it's way onto Paikaru's face, as he finally turned around to face him. Frankly it made Shinichi shiver- that smile was at once something he knew so well, and yet, like his eyes, it was strangely alien on his face, as if it were an expression belonging to someone he didn't know. As they came to face to face, nothing sparked within Paikaru's eyes, not even the slightest reaction to being confronted by someone who knew him from another life. "As fer your question," he continued, a slight hint of Osaka-ben working it's way into his speech, "...I've seen your face in the papers before. You're a hard one to miss, Kudo Shinichi."

The name rolled off his tongue as if it were the first time he'd ever spoken it. As Shinichi looked into those eyes, the blue color so familiar to him, he felt as if he had finally found the piece of the puzzle that he had been missing.

Shinichi recognized him.

Paikaru _didn't_.

As Ai shot past the corner with an almost breakneck speed, hand raised towards the watch on her wrist, Shinichi finally felt the answer come to him. And yet even as he managed to find one answer, as he watched Paikaru sink to his knees, giving himself over to a deep slumber, another one rose up within him.

This had been too easy, he thought. Far, far too easy.

Paikaru was _letting_ them capture him. As he instinctively reached out to catch the slumbering form of the one formerly known as Hattori Heiji before he could hit the ground, Shinichi could only find himself wondering _why_.


	3. Paikaru

AN: And without further ado, here's chapter three of the fanfic I've come to dub "why am I doing this to my son and child and why am I _enjoying_ doing it so much".

Thanks for reading!

* * *

 **Phantasmal Black**

 **Chapter Three**

 **Paikaru**

* * *

"Kudo-kun, are you sure about this?"

"How many times have you asked me that in this day alone, Haibara?" Turning to look at her, he gave her a quick, reassuring smile. "I'm sure about this. Now can you please look at this thing for me?"

Heaving a small sigh, only sparing a brief glance towards the befuddled professor who had been roped into driving them without, apparently, much information about what was going on, Ai turned her attention towards the object in question. Carefully holding the still sleeping young man's wrist in her own, her eyes narrowed as she studied what was designed to appear to be a simple fashion accessory to the casual viewer. As her gaze traced the Lichtenberg scars that traveled up his arm, shoving up the sleeve of his hoodie to see how far they went, she cast Shinichi something of a somber look.

"Well, here's your proof that Hattori-kun didn't go without a fight, if you were looking for it. It's an electrical restraint bracelet. The only good news is that it doesn't have any kind of tracking feature. It's designed to send out electrical-" Watching the way his gaze shifted, Ai frowned, her eyes narrowing slightly. "What is it, Kudo-kun? Something's clearly on your mind."

"Yeah." Closing his eyes, Shinichi leaned his head against the backseat of the car. "He didn't remember me at all. Not even one tiny _hint_ of recognition, Haibara."

Putting a hand to her chin, Ai considered this information for a moment. "Amnesia? He obviously can't be a fake, even the scars are correct."

"It appears that would be the case." Glancing down at the slumbering young man that was spread out between the pair in the back seat of the car, his eyes narrowed slightly as he studied his face. He'd tried to distance himself somewhat from the memory of his old friend in preparation for confronting him- it helped with the sense of hurt, and had quickly proven to be an effective method in doing so. If he continued to think of him as Paikaru, rather than Hattori Heiji, it might make confronting him easier to do. Depending on what kind of answers her gave him, his attitude towards his friend would change- he wanted to hope for the best, naturally, but he'd decided to brace himself for the worst.

But by treating them as two separate entities, it seemed like he was closer to the mark than he could have suspected.

He had, of course, considered the chance that Heiji might have lost his memory. But considering all of the things he'd already survived in the past without such a thing happening, it hadn't been on the top of his list of possibilities. He'd already fallen into the sea once, and likewise had also been shot before. He had an incredible knack for making it out alive from otherwise potentially fatal situations without even so much as a traumatic memory. Much higher were the odds that the Organization had threatened him with Kazuha, had told him that if he didn't work together with them, they would see to it that not only would she die, but she'd suffer horribly first.

That was exactly the kind of thing they'd do, after all.

"The only thing that remains is to actually talk to him." Shinichi said with a slight frown, reaching into his bag and pulling out a number of handcuffs he'd secured. He hadn't wanted to use these, but if Heiji really didn't remember them... a grim expression crossed his face. The assassin had let them capture him, but without any memories, Shinichi couldn't help but wonder _why_.

In part he was almost glad that Ai was with him. He could already tell that it looked like the Professor wanted to but in and say something- he'd only told the man that they were going to capture an Organization member, so his shock at seeing the face of a supposedly dead man was understandable. Without a doubt he probably wanted to say something along the lines that he should have more faith in Heiji, they were good friends, after all. But the world wasn't that idealistic- at the very least, not the world he lived in. How many times had it been someone that a murder victim trusted that killed them? He'd watched the expression on people's faces as their trust in their loved ones vanished before their eyes. In all of his years dealing with the Black Organization, it had left him more than a little paranoid, wired for looking into faces for any possible signs of betrayal.

It was part of the other reason why he didn't _truly_ believe the theory that Heiji had been a part of the Black Organization before. Even back then, _especially_ back then as Conan, he'd been doing it, assessing the people in his life, both those he already knew and those he had just met. Could he trust them? Could he really believe in them? Were they really true in their words as they extended an allied hand out towards him? There had certainly been no shortage of those he came to view as allies that he had been incredibly suspicious of before.

It had gotten to him more than he had realized, and it was a hard thing to shake, even after all this time. He knew Ai, at least, understood that- she was the same way, perhaps even more so.

"If he really doesn't have any memories, it might be a good idea to use those, Kudo-kun." Ai said, glancing up at him, watching as the hesitation played out over his face. "What do you think Hattori-kun would do in your situation?"

Shinichi shook his head, unable to help but snort. "Hattori was too trusting for his own good. No," closing his eyes, he let out a slightly bitter laugh. "Or maybe I've become too paranoid for my own good. I want to trust him, Haibara, but I... I can't do it."

"Well, it's understandable." Ai said simply, turning over Paikaru's left hand again. "I think I might be able to get this off him, with the right tools. But not until we get back to your place, and I can get some first aid supplies. Really, he should have it treated at a hospital, but I suppose that's not really an option."

"Is it really that bad?" Shinichi asked, eyes tracing the lightning-like scars that crackled up his left arm.

"Well." Ai's frown was tight. "You'll soon be able to see that much for yourself."

* * *

"Ah." Shinichi said simply, his brain momentarily not knowing how else to react to the blackened flesh that was revealed as Ai finally was able to remove the electrical restraint bracelet from Paikaru's wrist. It was only experience from dealing with countless crime scenes that caused him to bite back his gag reflex. When Ai remarked that it was nothing short of a small miracle that his left hand even still worked, no uncertain amount of anger broiled within him, and he found himself clenching his fists at the thought that someone could subject Heiji to something like this.

Even a Hattori Heiji that had no idea he was Hattori Heiji, he thought, watching as Ai cleaned and disinfected the wrist as best that she could, before wrapping it in gauze and bandages. They'd already handcuffed his right hand to the chair they'd placed his sleeping form in, but it was only once the left wrist was properly treated and wrapped that they dared handcuffing the left hand to the chair- before handcuffing both hands together as well.

"This is surely one of Merlot's devices." Ai remarked, holding the silver bracelet in her hands. Getting it off had been no easy task- it was designed that way in the first place. "I've seen it on their pupils before, as much as I've never actually met them myself. You probably have as well, Kudo-kun. We pulled in no small number of Black Organization assassins with them on. They only attached them to their indispensable pride and joys, to make sure they _stayed_ that way."

"I remember." Shinichi nodded his head, recalling back. As his gaze once more drifted towards the dark skinned young man before him, his eyes narrowed, mentally bringing up all the information they'd managed to gather on the one with the codename of Paikaru over the years. Most of the information had been gathered by Hakuba, which had then been passed on to him.

They'd first entered their notice around two or three months after that fateful day on the boat. Now that he thought back on it, that really should have struck him as somewhat odd. On the other hand, they had only just recently heard the codename of Merlot in the first place before all of that happened. Vermouth, who was already in their custody by then, could tell him no more than that they were a recent pupil of an assassin by the codename of Merlot, who she described a talented assassin on the Organization's payroll- and _many_ others. Thinking back on it, he wondered if she'd known- she had to have had. Eyes narrowing slightly, he vowed that the first chance he got, he would storm over there himself and get some real answers from that woman.

They hadn't even so much as known what gender Paikaru was until just recently, when Hakuba spoke to that girl they had missed. They still had very little idea about anything in regards to Merlot- their gender, race, physical appearance- everything about them was like smoke. What little they had gathered about them were the corpses that they had left behind in their wake.

The fact that Paikaru wasn't just an assassin in name only was unquestionable- they'd definitely killed people, there was more than enough proof of that, even if they'd never managed to catch their face. That was what had been eating away at Shinichi the entire time- the strong dissonance between the friendly, outgoing Osakan that he knew, and someone who was capable of taking human life so easily, over and over again. In a way, it was almost a relief to him to know that the one who was before him had no memories of his previous life, so to speak- if anything, it greatly lessened the burnt of betrayal.

He hadn't actually thought out what he would do after meeting with Paikaru- with Heiji. If Heiji really were forced into the remnants of the Black Organization against his will, backed into a corner that even he couldn't escape from, then of course he'd do something for him. He'd do anything he could for his friend, if that was the case. But the fact that he had no memories complicated things. He doubted that he was pretending- something would have shown up in his eyes, nobody was _that_ good of an actor.

What kind of person, then, was Paikaru? What had he been told? What kind of things had he experienced? What kinds of things shaped him? How much of him was Hattori Heiji, and how much of him was someone Shinichi had never met before? What did he remember, if anything at all?

Why had he allowed Shinichi to capture him in the first place?

That was the biggest mystery of them all. They'd checked him all over for transmitters, and had found nothing. Digging through his duffel bag had revealed a number of knives and handguns, as well as more ordinary things like clothes and money, but no transmitters. They were _pretty_ certain they'd removed every hidden weapon that the assassin had on him- a sizable number, it turned out. It didn't quite make sense for this to be a trap- which meant it was entirely possible that just like he had decided to speak to Paikaru, Paikaru had decided that he needed to speak with him during the short period when he'd taken notice of him.

Perhaps there was something of Hattori that lingered within him after all. He found it hard to believe that that hotblooded idiot detective could be completely erased, even if he lost his memories and had been fed nothing but lies about who he was, and what kind of person he was.

The object that Shinichi was holding in his hand was proof enough of that. Looking back down at the frayed and worn omamori wrapped in purple cloth, that had been hanging from Paikaru's neck on a string, he closed his hand around it, for a moment almost hearing the voice of his old friend bickering with Kazuha about it. At the very least, _something_ had motivated him to keep it with him this entire time. It might not be much- he might have just held onto it as his only window into a past he couldn't remember, but it was still something.

"I'd appreciate it if you could give that back. There's nothing in it a detective would be interested in anyways."

Peeking one eye open, Paikaru cast it towards the omamori held within Shinichi's hand, a slightly annoyed expression on his face. Giving a testing tug of his hands, he quickly came to understand that he was handcuffed quite thoroughly- though this fact didn't really seem to bother him that much. Instead a rather placid smile came across his face, as he folded on leg across his knee, tilting his head slightly as he looked up towards Shinichi.

Shinichi couldn't help but think how unlike Heiji his body language was.

"Is this the part where we exchange pleasantries? I take it neither of us needs to exchange names, Kudo-san."

Shinichi wasn't sure what made him twitch more- the distinct lack of his friend's Osakan accent, or the unfamiliar way he addressed him. It was fair, he supposed. As well as Hattori Heiji had known him, this was Paikaru's first meeting with the famed detective of the east.

"Do you have a name other than Paikaru?" Was the first thing Shinichi found himself asking. He might as well start fishing for information right away from this stranger who wore his friend's face.

"I have some aliases, none of which I'm particularly attached to." Came the simple answer, as he shrugged his shoulders. "But Paikaru was the only real name I was ever given."

"Then Paikaru's fine." Shinichi said with a slight sigh. This was more difficult than he had anticipated. Even with the unfamiliar almost business-like smile on Paikaru's face, he couldn't help but see phantoms of Hattori everywhere in it- no small wonder. It was his face, after all. "Why did you let us capture you?"

"Exposed right off the bat, huh." The slightly more familiar smile that flashed across Paikaru's face caused Shinichi's heart to clench, and he could only hope that it didn't show up on his expression. "I've heard about you, Kudo Shinichi. They say you're the one who caused the Organization to crumble in that way it did. That old man Gin especially hates you. Anyways, would you believe it if I told you it was just because I was curious about you?" He asked, calculating eyes gauging his reaction. "Especially when you turned up in the hotel lobby wearing such a terrible disguise, with a middle school student in tow with you of all things."

As his gaze flickered over towards Ai, she flinched inwardly in spite of herself. She could still feel that presence slithering around him, like a coiled snake, something which only became stronger as he turned to look at her. Watching as he seemed to sense this, she narrowed her eyes as the assassin flashed her a placid smile, the air around him at once become much lighter in the most artificial of manners, before he turned his full attention back towards Shinichi.

"It's almost like ya weren't after me to arrest me, detective." Paikaru finished, slightly slipping back into his Osaka-ben for a brief moment. "Given how much you hate us, I thought it was rather strange."

"I have my reasons." Shinichi told him, trying to not let the way his gut twisted when the word 'us' passed through those lips. "But you're correct. I wanted to speak with you personally."

"I'm flattered, detective." Paikaru's wry grin, too much like the one from his memories, made Shinichi's grip on the omamori in his hand all the tighter. As he watched the slight way that his eyebrows knitted together upon catching that, Shinichi opened his hand back up, dangling the charm in front of him.

"You want this back?" Shinichi asked. "It's just an old charm. I'm not sure why an assassin has something like this in the first place."

A bolt of anger crossed through Paikaru's face then- subtle, but something that Shinichi nevertheless picked up on. When he spoke again, his Osakan accent became as clear as day, briefly jolting Shinichi back to a different time and place. "That's none of yer business, Kudo-han. It's got nothin' ta do with ya or them, so just hand it back over already."

Exchanging a brief glance with Ai, Shinichi once again closed his fist around the charm. "Why don't you just take it back from me, Paikaru? You've been free of those handcuffs for at least the past five minutes or so, after all."

In spite of himself, the assassin laughed, and the grin that flashed across his face was something that was becoming increasingly easy for Shinichi to handle seeing. "When did ya notice?" He asked, lifting up his hands, showing off the now useless handcuffs each hanging off of one wrist. "I thought fer sure ya'd be more on guard when ya noticed. That's pretty strange too, Kudo-han."

"Your accent is showing." Shinichi merely noted, though he nevertheless handed the omamori back to him. He watched carefully as Paikaru's expression seemed to almost soften upon it's return to him, and he wasted no time in hanging it back around his neck, idly fiddling with it with one hand before tucking it back underneath his shirt. "Osaka-ben?"

Paikaru blinked at his words, an expression crossing his face as if he hadn't even noticed his slip-up. Knitting his brows together in consideration, as if wondering why such a thing had happened, he eventually gave him another wry grin. "That's right." Nodding his head, he leaned back in the chair, for all the world looking comfortable where he was, handcuffs still dangling uselessly off his wrists. He couldn't help but notice that there was a pair of them on his left wrist- he'd chosen to undo the lock on the one that connected both hands on his right wrist. "I should thank ya fer gettin' that device off my wrist though, detective. Or should I thank the little Neechan over there?"

At the way the pair sucked in their breath at the casual use of his nickname, Paikaru tilted his head a little, a slight frown gracing his features. "What's wrong? Is it really that weird that I'd thank ya fer somethin' like that? Have either of ya _seen_ this arm?" He asked, holding up the aforementioned left arm.

Exchanging a silent look between them, it was Ai who finally spoke up, clearing her throat before she began to speak. "How long ago was it that you lost your memories?"

The bolt of shock was clear as day as it ran through him, his blue eyes going wide. All but jolting to his feet, something which startled Shinichi and Ai alike, he glanced between the two of them, a strange look crossing his face. "How do ya-?"

"Five years ago, wasn't it?" Shinichi asked. Once you caught him off guard, it appeared that Paikaru was just as prone to high emotion as Heiji had been. Briefly it occurred to him that he reason they'd manage to throw the Black Organization member so off guard in the first place, to the point where he'd unthinkingly slipped into his native accent, was perhaps because he subconsciously felt relaxed around them to a degree.

Still, as the shock settled, they watched as Paikaru almost seemed to tense up, narrowing his eyes at the pair. "How do the two of you know something like that?" He asked, once more masking the accent he had been using so freely just seconds ago, switching back to a standard Tokyo dialect. "Did I try to kill one you before?"

"I guess that's what you would think." Shinichi heaved a slight sigh, rubbing the back of his head. "Should we tell him?"

"Tell me what?" Paikaru asked, quirking a brow. Who exactly were these people? There was something about the way they interacted with him that had bothered him from the start- especially that Kudo Shinichi guy. It almost felt as if he weren't even looking at him, but at someone else, and it was a feeling that almost made his skin crawl. Who exactly did that guy see when he was looking at him?

"Your name." Shinichi said simply, locking eyes with him. "The one your parents gave you."

"My parents didn't give me something like that in the first place." Paikaru said simply, shrugging his shoulders. "I was thrown out by them after I was born. That's how I ended up in Merlot's care in the first place. Same sob story as everyone else."

"Is that what you were told?" Shinichi asked, a small hint of a smile dancing on his features. "Come now, Paikaru, I'm pretty sure you're smarter than that."

Something about the way that guy spoke to him sent a surge of annoyance through him. Narrowing his eyes, Paikaru took a step closer towards him, using the sizable height difference between them to his advantage. "If you know something about my memories, Kudo-san, I'd appreciate it if you spat it out already instead of playing this cat and mouse game with me. What is it that you want anyways? Information about the Organization? For getting that damn _thing_ off my wrist, I'd give you that and more. If you're just messing around with me, I'd really advise you to stop. You might have taken away all my weapons, but don't make the mistake of thinking I can't kill you with my bare hands."

"Calm down." Shinichi said simply, holding up his hands, more thrown off by getting a literal death threat from him than he cared to let on. "I don't mean to upset you. Why don't you start telling me what you've managed to realize on your own, and then I'll tell you what I _know_."

Studying him carefully for any signs of a trick, Paikaru eventually let out a disgruntled sound, stepping back and flopping back on the chair again, the useless handcuffs on his wrists clattering against the metal. "I don't understand your game, Kudo-san, but very well."

"You're right, though." The anger that broiled within Paikaru was not the white hot, all encompassing kind that Heiji possessed- but rather a cold anger, perhaps all the more deadly for it. It was a marked difference between the two that Shinichi wasn't able to overlook. "I'm not an idiot, of course I noticed that something was strange about the story Merlot fed me. Well, by that time, it was already too late."

"She claimed that I'd lost my memories after getting injured on a failed mission. Since I was recovering from being _shot_ at the time, I really didn't question it. She told me that I had been abandoned by my parents, and that she'd taken me in herself to raise and train as her pupil." Paikaru told him, his tone rather matter of fact, folding his arms in front of him. Mentally, Shinichi filed away the fact that Merlot was apparently a woman. "You've probably never lost your memories, so you probably wouldn't understand it, Kudo-san. When you've got that huge gap within your mind, that blank space where there should be at least seventeen years worth of memories within you, you're about willing to believe anything anyone tells you."

"But I'm not a idiot, like I said." Shrugging his shoulders, Paikaru slowly slipped back into his native accent once more. "As time passed, I realized that there were some fishy things goin' on. My accent chief among them. Considerin' how hard she worked to train it outta me in the first place, it didn't make sense that I would even _have_ an accent in the first place if what she had told me was really true. An assassin strives ta be the kind ta not stand out in the first place, a thick Osakan accent like mine really didn't make much sense for me ta have in the first place."

"But what stood out the most of all was the fact that my reflexes were all wrong." Stretching out his legs in front of him, he narrowed his eyes. "Even if I lost my memories, those skills are somethin' that get ingrained in your body. But I didn't have anythin' like that, I had ta be taught that sort of thing all over again, which, in case ya were wonderin' is hell. What kind of assassin hesitates ta kill people in the first place? Well," for a moment, his expression became completely unreadable. "...such problems are long gone now."

"And there's..." Paikaru trailed off, a hand unconsciously reaching for his omamori, a slightly softer expression gracing his features, before he shook it off. "No, nothin' else. Those are the reasons I suspected somethin' fishy was goin' on. Well, not that I had much choice but ta go along with what I was told. Even if I ran away, killin' people like their obedient puppet was the only life I knew anythin' about, an' I figured they'd just catch up ta me eventually. What's the point, ya know? Frankly, Kudo-han, I thought I'd use ya as an escape method. I figured if I told ya what ya wanted ta know, ya could hook me up with yer friends in the FBI ta have me disappear."

"So that's why you let us capture you." Shinichi said finally. Letting out the breath he'd drawn in at the beginning of Paikaru's explanation, a guilty look surfaced on his face. Maybe if he'd tried even harder to locate Heiji, he could have saved him from this fate. To think that those people had taken his best friend, and used his amnesia against him to convince him that he was someone he wasn't, to turn him into something he wasn't ever meant to be... it made him sick.

And it was all his fault.

"We can't have you disappear, Paikaru." Shinichi said simply. "Because there are people out there waiting for you to come home. No," he closed his eyes, shaking his head. "I suppose that's not quite right." He opened his eyes again, carefully gauging the reaction of the young man in front of him, Shinichi finally managed to ask the question that had been dancing on his lips all this time.

No one was waiting for Paikaru, the assassin. The person everyone was waiting for was-

"Do you know someone named Hattori Heiji?"

The way he didn't react to his own name was like a swift punch to his gut, the force of which nearly made him topple over. There wasn't even the slightest hint or spark of recognition within his eyes, no look of a memory returning to him.

"No." The one who had come to know his name as simply Paikaru shook his head. "Is that supposed ta mean somethin' to me? At the very least, it's not the name of anyone I've killed, if that's what yer askin'."

"I see." The bitter laugh that escaped from Shinichi was something even he wasn't prepared for. "You really _don't_ remember anything, do you?"

"Isn't that what we've been sayin' fer like the past twenty minutes? The two of you were even the ones ta bring it up in the first place." Paikaru asked, looking more than a little disgruntled. "And what's so funny anyways?"

"Nothing. Absolutely _nothing_ about this situation is funny." Shinichi stated plainly. "All this time I've thought you were dead- and in a way I suppose that's the truth of it. You seem to be somewhat like him, but..." Shaking his head, Shinichi finally felt the weight of it all get to him, falling back on another chair, bitter laughter continuing to escape. There were certainly small aspects of Paikaru that sent a surge of familiarity within him, but as a whole, he couldn't help but feel strangely cold to him. There was too strong a dissonance between Hattori Heiji and Paikaru, and trying to think of them as the same person was proving to be a difficult task. "Haibara, isn't there anything you can do?"

"If his memories haven't returned after five years, the prognosis isn't all that good." Ai said simply, narrowing her eyes in thought. "I wouldn't rule it out as completely impossible- it's likely that he's been kept far away from any stimulus that would have triggered the return of his memories. That's probably why he hasn't been active in Japan before this. Still, in order to expose him to such stimulus, we'd have to reintroduce him to things that were familiar to him in the past, so that option is a bit..."

"Impossible, right?" Shinichi shook his head. "There's no way we can drag him back home like this. I couldn't make his parents go through something like this."

" _Hey!_ " Shinichi barely reacted as he found himself hoisted to the feet by his collar, eyes meeting the rather fearsome looking ones of Paikaru's. Even now, his anger was still cold, he thought. "You've been sayin' stuff that makes no sense fer awhile now, Kudo-han. Who exactly is this Hattori Heiji person ya asked me about anyways?"

"You." Shinichi said simply, eyes desperately searching for any indication of the carefree Osakan detective that he remembered. "He's _you_ , Hattori."

As Paikaru's hands fell away from his collar, Shinichi felt himself breathing a little easier. Even with this, he thought grimly, there was no flash of recognition within the blue eyes of the one who had come to bear one of _their_ codenames, through no fault of his own. There was, however, a look of confusion- one which was quickly replaced by a neutral expression as his guard once more slipped up, taking a step back from Shinichi.

"You make it sound like you know me." Paikaru almost whispered, an inherent distrust in his eyes. Shinichi couldn't blame him- after all, he'd spent the past five years trapped inside of what he knew was a lie. With no memories of his own, there was no reason for him to expect anything else from him other than the assumption that someone else was now trying to deceive him.

For a moment, he actually felt sympathetic for the person who currently wore the face of his best friend. What was it like, to wake up without any memories? To realize somewhere down the line, far too late, that the person who claimed that they knew you, had claimed that they had essentially raised you, had been lying to you the entire time? From the sound of it, he had the feeling that Paikaru was fully aware of the fact that he'd been turned into something that he wasn't meant to be. As much as some part of Shinichi wanted to resent him, he found that he couldn't do it.

Paikaru, he thought, wasn't just simply Hattori Heiji without his memories. Perhaps if they had crossed paths earlier, such a thing would still be true. But the five years of living as someone else had caused them to slowly craft their own identity, their own personality, one that carried within it traces of the detective of the west, but was also decidedly his own person.

"I don't know _you_." Shinichi said finally. "But I knew who you _used_ to be. Very well, in fact. We were best friends." Watching his expression shift, watching that look of distrust in his eyes grow, Shinichi held up his hands. "I know, I get it. You've already been lied to, so I don't expect you to believe me with just words. But I can show you proof."

At the mention of proof, the suspicion in Paikaru's eyes seemed to die down somewhat. "Alright." He said after a moment. "I'll bite, Kudo-san."

"Right." Nodding his head, Shinichi knelt down, briefly breaking eye contact with him. He sensed a slight tension leave the assassin as he did so, watching curiously as he picked up the scrapbook that he'd gotten out ahead of time. It was something that Ran had put together long ago, a memorial album for him. "This is my proof, Paikaru. Will you accept it?"

"...I'll give it a look." Paikaru said after a moment, carefully taking the album from him. Shinichi couldn't help but note the fact that his left arm lagged slightly behind his dominant right, in a way that stood out to him, inwardly grimacing. How much of Paikaru's personality had been shaped by force and pain, he wondered, once again feeling a slight bit of sympathy for him.

He couldn't think of him as Hattori Heiji, but after actually speaking with him, he couldn't think of him as anything other than a victim of the Black Organization. The fact that he'd killed people couldn't be erased- and _shouldn't_ be erased, but he couldn't allow himself to think in such black and white terms. There had been others like that as well, he thought. Born and raised within the Organization, taught nothing else- they actually lived the lie that the amnesiac Hattori Heiji had been fed. Every last one of them had been raised and instructed by Merlot, loyal to them even with their dying breaths. The fact that Paikaru _didn't_ possess that kind of fanatical loyalty to them was what made him trust him, ever so slightly.

As that bit of information floated to the surface, a bolt of cold fear crept it's way up his spine. Perhaps he'd just been trying not to think about it until now, but now that he had started, he couldn't stop. The death penalty was something that he'd never cared for, even _before_ the events on Tsukikage Island. Even in the case of those with the Black Organization, he'd protested against the very idea. It wasn't justice, it was just more murder.

Merlot's pupils, born and bred as trained killers, without fail, had all been sentenced to death. As far as anyone knew, Paikaru was her last surviving pupil.

In that instant, Shinichi made the connection that had been lingering in the back of his mind since the very beginning. If people knew... if word got out, the looks on the faces of those who had known Hattori Heiji the best were the _least_ he had to worry about. Even if he'd once been known as the detective of the west, famed as a high school detective and spoken fondly of throughout the police, even if he had been the son of Osaka's Superintendent Supervisor... there probably wouldn't be any mercy.

If Paikaru were to stand trail, then there finally would be something to place within Hattori Heiji's grave. He'd fought fervently for those killers that Merlot had trained, imploring that they be given a life sentence, not death. And even though he was the famous high school detective Kudo Shinichi, instrumental in bringing the Organization down in the first place, his pleas had met with deaf ears. They were 'too dangerous to be allowed to live', they said.

There was no reason at all to think that it wouldn't be the same here. If- if he was to be brought in, then he would well and truly lose his best friend forever.

He couldn't let that happen. He _couldn't_.

"Do you recognize her?"

So caught up in such thoughts, he almost completely forgot about the person in question, who had taken a seat, and was now leafing through the photo album that had been given to him. Finally turning towards him, he realized that Ai had approached him, an assessing look in her eyes. Realizing that she was the one who had spoken, Shinichi wondered what the reason for her question had been- before he caught sight of the person who Paikaru's gaze was fixed on.

"No." Paikaru said after a long moment, slowly shaking his head. His tone and expression alike were strangely soft, one hand having drifted towards the faded omamori he wore. "I don't know her."

"Toyama Kazuha. She was Hattori's childhood friend." Shinichi spoke up this time. That way he had been so bothered by seeing him in possession of his omamori- there was something there, something of Hattori that lingered behind, too powerful to be overwritten by all the pain and lies in the world. "He was in love with her."

"Ah." Paikaru said simply, his grip on his omamori tightening slightly. And then, faintly, as if he hadn't meant for anyone else to hear it, a tender tone to his voice that Shinichi hadn't heard yet. "That explains it."

Once more, Shinichi and Ai found themselves drawing in a breath, exchanging a brief, wordless glance with each other.

"That's odd." They heard Paikaru mumble. "I think ya might have a leak somewhere, Kudo-han. There's water drippin' down."

"Paikaru." It was Ai who spoke up, a strangely soft edge to her voice. Somewhere along the line, as he looked through a photo album filled with faces that he didn't recognize, and one that he did- his own, from five years ago, that dreaded presence about him had completely vanished. What was left behind wasn't quite the sunny feeling that she'd known the boy named Hattori Heiji brought with him, a feeling which had made her inclined to trust the ally that Shinichi had vouched for all those years ago. With the black color that filled him, for the moment drained away, the only color that remained were the faintest hints of purple.

The same color as his charm. Even she, who had only come to know Kazuha somewhat over the past five years, could see it as clear as day. Whatever the Organization had twisted and warped Shinichi's most trusted ally into, to the point where he carried their unmistakable scent with him, it hadn't managed to erase everything.

"You're crying."

"Huh?" Paikaru blinked, a disbelieving look crossing his face. "Cryin'? _Me?_ What kinda joke is that?" Reaching up a hand to his eyes, he almost laughed. "See, I'm not-"

As he felt his own tears, streaming hot down face, his look of befuddlement only grew. "Huh?" Blinking, he reached up, moving to wipe them away. "Huh? What's this... why am I..?"

 _Even if I die, I won't let you go._

Whose words were those?

"Oi, are you alright?" Shinichi found himself asking almost without thinking. "You don't have to look through the album any longer if you don't want to."

"Ah, sorry." The unfamiliar sound of the word of apology was strange on his lips. Snapping the album shut, he shuddered a little as the strange feeling that had seeped into him the moment he'd seen that face slowly began to flow back out of him. Drawing in a breath, the tears he didn't understand the reason for all but automatically ceased, and out of the corner of his eye, he noticed that 'Haibara' girl backing away from him.

He got the feeling she could sense something from him.

Rising to his feet finally, Paikaru handed the album back towards the detective, looking into his eyes as if searching for something. But no matter how much he studied his face, he didn't seem to recognize him. The face of the Haibara girl was alien to him as well- all of the faces in the photo album had been, complete strangers looking back at him. Even as she stirred something within him, the face of Toyama Kazuha was that of someone he didn't know.

All of them were strangers- including the one who wore his own face from five years ago. He didn't recognize that teenager, with a bright smile on his face who wore a baseball cap in nearly every picture, surrounded by no shortage of friends- and family as well.

But it was enough. It was more than enough to prove to him that for once, someone was actually telling him the truth. Kudo Shinichi, the detective who had brought down the Organization, was telling him the complete and utter truth.

Best friends.

No wonder it had felt as if he'd been looking at him the entire time expecting to see someone else. Himself? Best friends with a detective? Someone with as much blood on his hands as himself? It was worth laughing over, even. The notion was so absurd, so preposterous. The mere _idea_ of having anything that could be called a friend alone was laughable enough, but to think of himself having been so close to a detective so driven by justice that he'd run a once mighty crime empire into the earth was almost like a bad joke to him.

But when he looked at those photographs, things began to make sense to him. It was strange, considering Kudo Shinichi hadn't even _been_ in most of them, but rather a child, one who bore a striking resemblance to the twenty two year old detective. And yet even with the detective only showing up here and there, Paikaru felt as if he understood.

The two of them didn't know each other.

But Kudo Shinichi and Hattori Heiji had.

"Hey." Paikaru finally spoke up, his eyes narrowing. "What was he like? Hattori Heiji, I mean."

"A reckless idiot." Shinichi said, a slightly fond smile crossing his face in spite of himself. "The very picture of act first, think later. Hotblooded and honest to a fault, and always the type who wouldn't abandon a friend. He got angry, he laughed, and he smiled incredibly easily. And like me back then, he was a high school detective. Kudo of the East, and Hattori of West. That's how it used to be. He was my rival, and my trusted friend."

"Until he died." The grief and guilt in his voice was obvious to anyone. "At least, that's what I thought."

"I'm not-" Paikaru began, uncertain of what to say in this situation. He wasn't good with these kinds of emotions, after all. He was an assassin, he was accustomed to creating death, not dealing with it's fallout. Technically speaking, he supposed it was true that he was the one known as Hattori Heiji. They had the same face, the same body, the same voice. If he shared a number of mannerisms with him, he wouldn't be surprised.

But the name meant nothing to him. The only name he knew wasn't even a name, just a codename given by an Organization that had most likely known full well what they were doing when they took a detective and made a murderer out of him. Somehow, he didn't feel right claiming the name that had been given to him as his own.

He was just Paikaru.

"I know." Shinichi said finally, steeling himself as he looked towards Paikaru. "I don't expect you to be."

"You said you wanted to escape from the Organization." Shinichi said finally, holding out his hand towards him. "Let me help you, Paikaru. Work with me, and we can bring those last holdouts down. And I promise that I'll do whatever I can for you."

It probably was not a promise that a detective should be making to an assassin, but there was no way he could let what remained of Hattori face the same fate as all of Merlot's other pupils.

As Paikaru slowly took his hand, Shinichi firmly grasped it in his own. He had reached out with his own left, he realized, so that the Paikaru would be able to use his right, rather than his less than stellar left, and he'd done it without thinking.

"Ya gave me an answer, Kudo-han. Not that I know what ta make of it just, but..." Paikaru said simply, flashing him a grin that carried echoes of the detective of the west with it. "Just fer that alone, I'll tell ya anythin' ya want."

Clearing her throat, Ai startled the two men, who had almost forgotten she was there. "That's nice and all, but which one of us is going to have to inform _Hakuba-kun_ of this partnership?"

At the time, Paikaru didn't quite understand why Shinichi swore underneath his breath.


	4. Amnesia

AN: And here's the fourth chapter! I'm pretty pleased with how this one turned out, all things considered. Paikaru is surprisingly enjoyable to write for in his own way. As always, thanks to those of you who are reading this fic! I only ask that you leave a review if you can!

* * *

 **Phantasmal Black**

 **Chapter Four**

 **Amnesia**

* * *

"Amnesia?"

Hakuba Saguru set down his teacup with a firm clink, his attention directed towards the person sitting across from him. He had thought it strange when Shinichi had invited him over to his place so suddenly, with nary a mention of either Paikaru or Hattori Heiji, and quite honestly, he didn't know what he expected to hear from him when he finally arrived. He'd come to the Kudo household in due haste, at the very least, and found Shinichi waiting for him, putting on a show of making tea before he even began to discuss why he was calling him here.

Probably the last thing he'd expected to hear from his fellow detective was that not only had he successfully captured the Black Organization member known as Paikaru, but he'd also determined that his reason for being with _them_ in the first place was none other than amnesia. In other words, Hattori Heiji had lost his memories after his near death experience five years ago, and had been living under a false identity ever since then, having been taken in by the one with the codename of Merlot.

While certainly Hakuba was pleased to have a little light cast on the shadowy figure of Merlot- even knowing the assassin's gender was a huge breakthrough- he wasn't quite sure what to make of the story that Shinichi was telling him.

"Amnesia." Shinichi repeated with a nod, taking a sip of his own tea. Really, he preferred coffee, but he knew that the half-British detective had very strong feelings for the aforementioned drink- and they were all very negative. "He doesn't remember a single thing about me, much about himself. Doesn't even recognize Kazuha."

"Amnesia." Hakuba repeated, leaning back against the couch, closing his eyes. It was something he frankly hadn't even considered- perhaps it was because he had always been on bad terms with Heiji. It had been easy for him to assume that he might have always been with the Organization, or at the very least had joined it afterwards at some point. "Are you quite certain, Kudo-kun? It's not impossible that he's lying to you."

"He's not lying." Shinichi said simply. "He didn't even recognize his own name."

Searching for any signs of this being some kind of joke, Hakuba eventually let out a brief sigh, picking up his teacup and taking a long swig of tea. "And where is he now, then? Certainly you didn't let him go, Kudo-kun. Need I remind you, he's still a highly dangerous assassin, regardless of who he might have been in the past- all the more so if he really is experiencing memory loss."

"Haibara's examining him." Shinichi said, setting down his teacup. "Did you know that she built her own MRI machine at some point? Because I was most definitely not aware of this fact. If she can ever truly come out of hiding, there's no doubt she'll take the world by storm."

"Kudo-kun." Setting aside his teacup once more, Hakuba locked eyes with him, a stony expression on his face. " _Please_ don't tell me you left an internationally wanted assassin alone with a junior high school student."

"The Professor's there with her." Shinichi said simply, shrugging his shoulders. "Paikaru's not going to hurt her."

The codename felt considerably less like poison on his lips now that he knew there was no true betrayal involved with it. One had to remember the person they were betraying to betray them in the first place. It was probably for the best that he'd gotten used to using it- it had become rapidly apparent to Shinichi that the person in question seemed to feel more than a little uncomfortable when he'd attempted to address him as 'Hattori' instead. He honestly couldn't say that it felt quite right to him either- so Paikaru it had remained, for the time being.

"Paikaru works for the Black Organization, and the Black Organization wants to _kill her_." Hakuba noted, all but rising to his feet. "At this very moment, they both might be dead, as we're leisurely sitting here sipping tea. I knew I shouldn't have left this matter to you, Kudo-kun, you're too close to it."

"Paikaru also wants to _leave_ the Black Organization, Hakuba." Shinichi told him, motioning for him to take a seat. "He let me capture him in the first place. Even with memory loss, he was fully aware that he was being lied to by them and was being used as a tool. I decided to assist him with that matter."

"Then we'll get what information he knows about the remaining members from him, and turn him over to Jodie-san." Hakuba said simply, not understanding how his fellow detective could continue to remain this calm. What if this had all been a trap to lower his guard to allow Paikaru access to Haibara Ai in the first place? Granted, Hakuba had no idea why it was that the Organization wanted to kill this girl in the first place- it was one thing that Shinichi had never felt inclined to tell him.

"We're not handing him over, Hakuba." Shinichi's voice had a tone to it that brokered no argument, and yet Hakuba wasn't about to take what he had just said without one.

"Kudo-kun. I understand that this is a very complicated situation for you." Hakuba began, resting a hand on his forehead. "I know how important Hattori-kun was to you, and I know how much his death impacted you. But whatever the case may be, the fact remains that Hattori-kun is no longer a detective, but a murderer himself. All the more so if he has no memory of being Hattori Heiji in the first place. You can't just let him go free because you used to be best friends with him."

"They'll kill him, Hakuba." Shinichi said shortly, a sharp gaze flashing up towards him. "Or did you forget what happened to all Merlot's other pupils already?"

As Hakuba dropped his gaze from Shinichi's, closing his eyes, the Heisei Holmes knew that he remembered full well. "I can't let something like that happen to him, Hakuba. I can't lose what's left of Hattori."

"Then you're suggesting we let him get away with murder?" Hakuba asked, steeling himself once more, turning back towards Shinichi and meeting his gaze. " _Listen_ to yourself for a moment, Kudo-kun."

"I'm not suggesting we let him get away with it." Rising to his feet finally, Shinichi gave Hakuba an assessing look. "I'm suggesting we use Paikaru. He's more than willing to help us bring the Organization down, more than likely with his own two hands, if need be. If he helps us sweep up the remaining members himself, it will most likely be the difference between life and death. For all we know, the FBI might be looking for someone with Paikaru's skills. I only just learned that Hattori is _alive_ , Hakuba, I _can't_ send him marching off to his death again. Can you? Could you ever face Kazuha again knowing that you've condemned the person she's been waiting for all this time to death?"

There was a long silence between them, before Hakuba finally let out a breath, closing his eyes. "No." He said simply. "I can't. At the very least if what you say is true, and Paikaru does want to leave the Organization, his help would be invaluable to us- especially if he still has some of Hattori-kun's detective skills remaining within him."

Sitting back down on the couch, Hakuba shook his head. "Amnesia." Folding his hands in his lap, the half-British detective glanced up at his counterpart. "Does he remember _anything_ at all?"

"No." Shaking his head, Shinichi sat down again himself. "Not consciously, at least. There's something of Hattori still lingering within him underneath the surface, however. He's kept Kazuha's charm even after all these years, and got quite angry when he discovered that I'd taken it from him. That's probably key."

"You're not suggesting we let him meet Toyama-san, surely?" Hakuba asked him. "If she were to learn that the assassin she had been helping me hunt down was her childhood friend, I'm not sure how she would handle the news."

"She's stronger than you give her credit for, Hakuba." Shinichi told him. "Beyond that, if Paikaru himself decided that he wanted to meet her, there's really not that much we could do to _stop_ him. It took him all of five minutes to free himself from three separate pairs of handcuffs, so quietly that I barely even noticed. He'd give Kaito a run for his money when it comes to quick escapes."

"You have him _alone_ with a junior high school student and a defenseless professor, and he's not even _handcuffed_?" Hakuba asked him, fighting the very uncharacteristic urge to throw up his hands into the air. "Unbelievable."

"I'm telling you Hakuba, you can trust him." Shinichi told him. "He's been lied to his entire life- all five years of it, since that's all he can remember. He has enough awareness to realize that he was likely never meant to be a killer in the first place, and enough humanity left in him to regret it. He remembers the names and faces of the people he's killed, at the very least."

"Beyond that, he's grateful to finally have some _real_ answers." Picking up his teacup and finishing off his tea, Shinichi's eyes narrowed, gaze fixed on the now empty cup in his hands. "Five years ago, a seventeen year old boy recovering from a gunshot wound woke up with no memories of who he was, where he came from, or even _why_ he had been shot. Then a woman appears before him claiming that she's known him all of his life, that she raised him ever since he was a little baby cast out by his parents. She has proof too- manufactured and fake proof, but proof enough to fool someone who is desperately looking for _anything_ to fill in the gap in their memories."

"If anything, it certainly confirms what we've thought all this time. Merlot is a master manipulator." Setting down his teacup, Shinichi closed his eyes, his gaze fixing on the ceiling above him. "Show him some maternal love and affection, act out the role of the worried parent and teacher, and there's no way someone who has no memories wouldn't come to believe that they were someone they once knew and trusted. By the time he realized something was wrong, it was already too late for him to turn back."

"An assassin is still an assassin, Kudo-kun." Hakuba said simply, a frown on his face.

"I'm not making excuses." Shinichi said, shaking his head. "Yes, Paikaru is a murderer. Believe me Hakuba, as much as he might be wearing the face of my best friend, I haven't forgotten this fact, and I'm not ignoring it either. I'm only saying that he's also a _victim_. We can't afford to view this situation in black and white terms. His entire personality is forged by lies and deceit, and no small amount of pain, as well as whatever little scraps of Hattori's personality that he managed to hold onto even as Merlot tried to train all of that out of him."

"He needs someone he can trust, and someone who trusts him, for a change. He needs to be treated as a human being, and not as a tool." Letting out a deep breath, a clear look of frustration crossed his face. "If only I'd looked for Hattori even harder, Hakuba, we could have saved him from this fate. Whether or not his memories ever return to him, we need to do _something_ for the person that exists in the here and now- I already failed Hattori once, I don't want to fail him again."

"Kudo-kun, you didn't-" Hakuba began, only to be cut off by a sharp look from Shinichi, as he got to his feet again.

"I failed him, Hakuba. I allowed him to take a bullet that was meant for me, and then I couldn't even keep my grip on him. If I had managed to do either of those things, he'd still be with us today as _Hattori Heiji_ , detective of the west and my rival, and not as, as you've mentioned _several_ times now, an internationally wanted assassin that nobody even had the decency to give a real _name_ to." Shinichi said simply, before letting out a breath, letting some tension wash from his shoulders. "Now."

"Do you want to meet him?"

* * *

"Aside from the obvious retrograde amnesia, and a slight muscle to nerve response lag in your left arm, you'll be glad to know that you're as healthy as a horse." Ai's voice didn't shift from it's dry tone as she studied the notes of the examination that she had been giving. "With proper treatment, even the scars on your left arm should begin to heal somewhat, I'm sure you'll be thrilled to know."

"Well isn't that great news?" Flashing her a far more business-like smile than the ones he had shown to them earlier in the day, Ai couldn't help but notice that in the presence of the unidentified element that was the Professor, his Osaka-ben had likewise by and large mostly vanished, buried underneath a standard Tokyo dialect, that became clear to the observant listener had been trained into him. Although he sat cross legged on the examination table, hands resting in his lap, he nevertheless had his guard completely up, watching the both of them for any suspicious movements.

The aura of _them_ that he was letting off was almost overpowering- almost as if it were a defense mechanism, in this case, she couldn't help but note. Somehow thinking along those lines made it easier to ignore.

"Ai-kun, a moment, please." Letting the Professor pull her aside, Ai tilted her head, carefully listening to what the man she'd come to view like family had to say. She already knew he'd been thoroughly befuddled by the entire situation- nobody had really bothered to give him a proper explanation yet, so she wasn't quite surprised by this. As much as he'd willingly assisted in the examination, it was obvious that there were many questions he'd wanted to ask her along the way.

"Is that _really_ Hattori-kun?" Agasa asked, whispering into the ear of the girl he'd come to view as his own daughter. Certainly when he'd arrived to pick up Ai and Shinichi earlier in the morning, he'd been more than a little shocked to see the face of someone who had been declared dead five years ago, but the circumstances that had lead up to this were what truly befuddled him the most.

"It is." Ai said simply, not letting Paikaru leave her line of sight for even one moment. "He has no memory of such a thing, however. The test results are more than enough to prove that."

She hadn't been able to determine if restoring his memories was possible through her tests, but she hadn't been able to determine that it was impossible, at the very least. More than likely she suspected that Shinichi was hoping that his memories of being Hattori Heiji would come back to him, but Ai couldn't help but doubt it. It was entirely possible that even if he was exposed to things and people that had been familiar to the person he had been in the past, that he still would never remember anything.

"But if I recall correctly, when Shinichi called me, he told me that we were picking up a member of _those_ guys that he had captured, and that I needed to be on my guard." Agasa whispered.

"That's true as well." Ai said simply. "I suppose an introduction is in order between the two of you. _Paikaru!_ " Almost barking out the codename, the assassin in question startled, more than a little surprised to find such a sharp sounding voice coming out of someone of Ai's stature. Perhaps he _shouldn't_ have been playing around with her medical examination tools- he did have a tendency to get a little fidgety whenever he had nothing else to do and there wasn't a mission at hand. When given nothing else to focus on, it appeared that he had a rather short attention span.

"I've completely forgotten to introduce you to my grandfather here." The placid smile on Ai's face nearly matched the one that Paikaru sent back towards her. "This is my grandfather, Agasa Hiroshi. Grandfather, this is..." Ai paused here, a mild frown appearing on her face. "What _do_ you want me to introduce you as?"

"Paikaru's fine." Waving a hand, that calculated, business-like smile surfaced on his face again. "Like I said, I'm not really all that attached to any of my aliases."

"Well pick one or make one up, you're going to need a fake name eventually." Ai advised him, before turning back towards Agasa, who had been watching the entire exchange without any clue as what to make of it. "He's Paikaru."

"Ai-kun, you surely aren't saying what I think you're saying here?" Agasa asked, and she knew it at once to be a redundant question. He'd seen the clear signs of trauma induced memory loss the same as the shrunken scientist had, and it wasn't hard for him to put two and two together. "Oh dear. I thought there was something off in Shinichi's tone when he told us he would be leaving Osaka early, but I never imagined it would turn out to be something like this. How is he taking it? Something like this can't be easy for him to swallow."

"Fine, all things considered. The fact that Paikaru is- Paikaru, _please_ put that down," Without even turning her full gaze to him, she watched the assassin flinch a little as she caught him having resumed messing around with her examination tools the moment he thought she wasn't paying attention to him again. "Paikaru is more than willing to cooperate with him to help root out the remaining Organization members, Gin included."

Very distinctly hearing Paikaru mumble 'Gin's an asshole' underneath his breath, Ai found herself giving a slight nod of agreement. "In a sense, you could say he's in the same boat as I was, just under _far_ more complicated circumstances." Ai whispered, dropping her voice low so only the Professor could hear her. "So to answer your earlier question, _yes_ , that is Hattori Heiji, and _yes_ , he is an Organization member. He just doesn't remember any of the former, and has only known the latter."

"I see." Agasa couldn't help but frown, studying the young man who the world at large thought had been dead for the past five years. He could only imagine how Shinichi was feeling at the moment- although he wasn't always as honest about it as he should have been, he had always known that he'd valued his rival greatly, and thought of him as a best friend. To have him turn up alive and well but under such awful circumstances- it couldn't have been an easy thing for him to deal with.

Especially as he watched Paikaru catch a sound ahead of the two of them, a different sort of look in his eyes entirely as he snatched up one of the sharper examination tools, a cold gaze fixed towards the stairs- one that only relaxed once he noticed that the person he'd heard coming down them was Shinichi himself. At the appearance of another young man coming downstairs behind him, he tensed up once again, but seemed to set aside the tool for the time being.

"How did the examination go, Haibara?" Shinichi asked, making his way over towards the superficially younger girl.

"She says I'm healthy as a horse!" Paikaru offered, flashing Shinichi a somewhat more genuine grin than he had been giving either Ai or the Professor. The gaze that fell on the newcomer, however, was suspicious and cold, an expression that Heiji as they knew him would have never been capable of making. "Ya gonna introduce me ta Blondie over there?"

The suspicious look that Hakuba had been giving him up to that point briefly gave way to that of surprise- just hearing that he had amnesia was one thing, seeing it at work was another thing entirely. Clearing his throat, he decided to take the liberty of introducing himself. "I am Hakuba Saguru, a detective. I'm a close acquaintance of Kudo-kun's."

"Oh, I've heard of ya!" Grinning from almost ear to ear, the slightest hint of his Osakan accent slipped through. "You're the one who's been on my ass for the past few months, aren't you? I have to tell you, having a follower half as persistent as you was a total pain in the ass. So you know the great detective over here, huh? It's a small world after all, I guess."

"Yes, well," Hakuba quirked a brow, watching the assassin with cautious eyes as he got to his feet. He'd honestly half expected to come next door to find both the Professor and Haibara Ai dead, and Paikaru nowhere in sight- perhaps Shinichi was right in the fact that he should be giving him a little bit more trust. There was possibly more Heiji left in him that he had at first suspected. "I suppose that's the truth of it. Should I call you Paikaru?"

"It's the only name I know." Paikaru said simply, shrugging his shoulders. "Oh? Although judging by that look on your face, detective, it seems like you almost wanted to dispute that for a second there. Oi, Kudo-san, does this guy know this Hattori of yers as well? This old man over here too, come to think of it." He said, his gaze briefly flickering towards Agasa. "He's been looking at me weird ever since the start."

"Yes." Shinichi said after a moment, nodding his head. "They both do. Not as well as I knew him, though."

"I see." Folding his arms in front of his chest, Paikaru closed the distance between himself and Hakuba, carefully looking him over, watching as the half-British detective tensed as he came within striking range. "See, this is more what I thought you'd act like, Kudo-san, all guarded and tense like this. _Relax_ , Blondie, I'm not going to hurt you. Don't tell me I was friends with this stiff too?"

"Not quite." Glancing over towards Hakuba, silently telling him to behave himself, before turning a similar look towards Paikaru, Shinichi cleared his throat. "The two of you never really liked each other all of that much. You had... differing styles when it came to solving a case, to put it one way."

"A case, huh?" Scratching the back of his head, Paikaru's lips curled into something of a frown, before he shrugged his shoulders. The idea that he used to be some kind of detective in the past was nothing short of surreal to him- even if he thought it _did_ explain some things. He couldn't help but wonder what the him of then would have thought of the person he'd ended up becoming- probably not much, and frankly, he wouldn't have blamed him.

Eyes darting over towards Hakuba again, Paikaru narrowed his eyes somewhat. "Oh? You look like you've got something to say to me. You wanna spit it out already?"

"I want to know if your intentions of betraying the Black Organization are genuine, Paikaru." Hakuba stated simply, refusing to so much as take his eyes off of him. He wasn't quite certain what he had been expecting, and it was true that he had done no harm to either Ai or the Professor, but that wasn't quite enough for him to completely trust him. "All of Merlot's other pupils were quite loyal to her."

" _Merlot_." Clicking his tongue, Paikaru took a step back, watching as Hakuba's guard eased somewhat now that he was no longer in arm's reach. "She used me and manipulated me, and knew full well what she was doing the entire time. I've got no reason to be loyal to her now that she can't reach me anymore. For the first time that I can remember, I'm free of her, and I'm in no damn hurry to go back."

"Course as soon as she notices that I haven't carried out the hit I came here for in the first place, she's going to realize that much herself." Paikaru said, before blinking, realizing the implications of his words. "Speaking of that, I guess I should probably share that information with the two of you. A show of trust, let's call it."

Sensing that Shinichi was having trouble asking the question himself, Hakuba decided to do it for him. "And? Who is it that you've been hired to kill?"

"A female police Inspector." Paikaru told him, shrugging his shoulders. "I don't know the exact reasons, you learn not to ask about those sorts of things after awhile. Her name's-"

"Takagi Miwako?"

Blinking at Shinichi, Paikaru gave a small nod of his head. "Yeah. How did ya know?"

"Because there's only one female police Inspector in these parts who could have possibly gotten such a big target painted on her back." Shinichi heaved a deep sigh, rubbing his forehead. Suddenly he became very glad that they had managed to catch Paikaru's tail when they did- otherwise he didn't doubt that he'd gone through with his job without so much as a second thought.

And that would have made things _truly_ complicated.

"Do you know who it is that wants her dead?" Shinichi asked. "From the sound of it, it doesn't seem to be a job you obtained from within the Organization, at the very least. I doubt that they would have let you come back to Japan on your own."

"Now that ya mention it, Merlot was against the idea." Paikaru frowned, putting a hand to his chin in thought, eyes narrowing a little as he realized now why she had been against him taking on the job at first. "But yer right. As fer who wants her dead, apparently it was someone that she arrested in the past, least that's what I gathered from him over the phone. Didn't give his name, paid up front. Guess technically I've ripped him off now. Should _probably_ drain my bank account before the Organization freezes it."

"And if you don't fulfill your mission, what happens?" Hakuba asked, unable to help noticing the way Paikaru had slipped back into Osaka-ben without realizing it.

"Probably nothing would happen to that Inspector, unless the one who hired me decided ta take it into his own hands." Paikaru told him honestly, before leveling his gaze on him. "The real trouble will come when Merlot herself decides ta come an' investigate the matter- because she _will_ come. I'm her _favorite_." It was hard to miss the hints of betrayal and anger that were laced into the word- whatever relationship he'd developed with the assassin woman in the past five years, it seemed to be somewhat more complicated than he had at first expected.

"That works out just fine for us." Shinichi said after a moment. "After all, Hakuba here has been wanting to get his hands on Merlot for the past five years, even more so than you. As long as she can't figure out that we have any connection to your disappearance, that leaves us at an advantage. When was the deadline for your mission?"

"In two days." Paikaru told him.

"Good. That means we have time." Nodding his head, Shinichi looked over towards Hakuba, putting a hand on his shoulder. "There's someone I need to go speak with, before we advance this any further."

Catching his drift without even needing him to say the woman's name, Hakuba gave him a short nod. "What should we do about _him_ ," he began, his gaze briefly flickering over towards Paikaru. "...in the meantime?"

"Give him the grand tour of my home. Find something to distract him with." Shinichi said simply, cutting off Hakuba before he could protest. "The best place to keep him right now is at my house. As long as he's there, I can make sure he's not getting himself into any trouble."

"I'm _right here_ ya know." Paikaru spoke up, raising a brow. "Just because I only have five years worth of memories doesn't mean _I'm_ five, you two. I don't need ta be _babysat_."

"I would never imply as such." Shinichi said simply, before a small spark struck in his head. "Say, Paikaru, have you ever heard of the works of Ellery Queen?"

"No." Titling his head to the side, Paikaru blinked at the sudden change of subject. "Who's that?"

With a knowing look on his face that almost made the assassin uneasy, Shinichi simply gave him a smile. "Oh, you'll love them. Trust me."

* * *

"It's nice to finally see you again, Kudo-kun."

"Spare me the pleasantries, Vermouth." As he took a seat across from her, only a thick pane of glass separating the two of them, Shinichi kept his tone blunt. "I need to have some words with you."

"Oh?" Raising her brows, Vermouth looked mildly surprised. "I don't believe there's any information about the Organization that I could possibly give you at this point. I've been in here for the past five years, after all."

"It's about the information you _must_ have known and decided _not_ to share with me." Being able to speak with Vermouth in private was one of his few special privileges- and this was definitely conversation he needed to have without a security guard lurking around behind either of them. Although he knew that they were waiting just outside their respective doors, said doors were thick enough so that neither of them could overhear anything the detective and the former actress were saying.

When he'd left Paikaru, he was buried in one of the Ellery Queen novels that Shinichi had pulled for him, reading it with vested interest. It was almost a relief to know that the amnesiac young man had just the same fondness for them that Heiji had. From the intent way he was reading it, however, he could clearly tell that he felt that he was reading the novel in question for the first time. Given the additional stack of other Ellery Queen novels he'd gathered for himself, he was quite assured of the fact that he'd be busy until he came back home.

"And what would that be, pray tell?" Vermouth asked, leaning her chin into her hand, somewhat curious as to what had caused the young man to be in such a short temper today. She was well aware that he didn't like her, but he seemed far more wound up than usual today. Naturally, it was something that struck her as more than a little unusual- he'd always been more of the collected type after all.

"Don't play dumb with me." Shinichi's eyes narrowed, reaching inside his jacket to pull out a single photograph. He'd taken the time to print it out himself, after which he had erased the actual photograph from Hakuba's camera, before handing it back to the man. He didn't believe that his fellow detective would turn Paikaru in behind his back, but he couldn't be too careful. "It's about this."

Sliding the photo closer to her so that she could see it, he watched as a brief look of confusion crossed her features- before a look of understanding dawned across them. With a faint click of her tongue, the American woman leveled her gaze at him. "This is the first I've heard of this myself, I assure you."

She had never really met the young boy captured in the photograph- though he was now a young man, she supposed- but she knew full well who he was, and what had happened to him- up to a point, at least. She also knew full well how deeply losing him had impacted the one in front of her. Closing her eyes and letting out a deep breath, Vermouth gathered herself, preparing for what was doubtlessly going to be an unpleasant conversation.

"I can think of a number of reasons why you might be showing this image to me, Kudo-kun." Vermouth said simply, opening her eyes. "But it appears that what you're seeking from me is not answers."

"I already know the answers." Shinichi said shortly, tapping the photograph. "Did you know he was alive, Vermouth?"

"I had a suspicion." The woman confessed after a moment. "But no confirmation. I didn't want to get your hopes up."

Eyes narrowing at such a kindly sounding reason, Shinichi didn't have to ask to know that it probably was the truth. All told, he never quite figured out what it was that Vermouth thought of him- he knew full well that she treasured Ran, but he never _quite_ understood why she seemed so fond of him to begin with. Heaving an annoyed sigh, he picked up the photograph, once again pocketing it.

"One would think you would be happier to know that he was alive." Vermouth couldn't help but note, though there was something in her eyes that told him she had a suspicion as to why. "And while you do seem somewhat happy, you're also quite angry. Why?"

"Paikaru." Shinichi said simply, for all the world seeming as if he was suddenly changing the topic. But from the look in Vermouth's eyes, he knew that she understood. "You told me that they were a recent pupil of Merlot's, one whom she had taken under her wing not long before we arrested you in the first place, Vermouth."

"Is it not the truth?" Vermouth asked simply, folding her hands in front of her. "I didn't know he was your friend, Kudo-kun."

"But you did _suspect_." Shinichi said, his tone as cold as his eyes.

"Yes." Vermouth said simply. "I did."

"Why didn't you say anything?" Shinichi asked, resisting the urge to jump to his feet, to slam the table in front of him. He didn't want to draw the attention of the guards waiting outside, didn't want to cut this conversation short. "If you'd told me what you had suspected earlier, then we could have... _I_ could have helped him. I could have brought him _home_ , Vermouth!"

"Because I didn't want to risk losing you just yet." Vermouth confessed simply. "In the state of mind you were in after his death, I was certain that you would have recklessly charged in if you had even the _slightest_ idea that he was alive and in the clutches of one of our members. I didn't want to see you get yourself killed over what was nothing more than a small hunch of mine."

Although Shinichi's eyes narrowed, he at the very least seemed to accept this explanation. That didn't mean he had to like it, however. "You said you had a hunch. Why?"

"From what little I understand of Merlot, they were always looking for new pupils, new students to take underneath their wing." Vermouth began. "Always on the lookout for people with talent and ability wherever they went. I'd heard a whisper of a rumor passed down from that way that your friend had caught their eye at some point. Only that, and nothing more."

She watched, holding her tongue, as a look of understanding dawned across Shinichi's face. As the clear look of guilt surfaced in his eyes, Vermouth closed her own, knowing full well what he was likely thinking. The only way the likes of Hattori Heiji would have come to Merlot's attention in the first place was because Shinichi had involved him with the Organization takedown- in other words, if he'd never included him from the start, then he never would have caught Merlot's eye.

"When I heard that she had taken on a new pupil shortly after your friend vanished, I merely thought it was one possibility." Vermouth told him simply. "But I couldn't have possibly imagined that he would have simply joined her as easily as that. That was the real reason my hunch remained nothing more than a hunch. I didn't think you'd ally yourself with someone who would betray you so easily."

There was a long silence between the two of them then, before Shinichi let out a breath. "He didn't betray me. He lost his memories." He said finally, his voice barely above a whisper. "She used that."

"I see." Locking her gaze with the obviously guilt-ridden detective in front of her, Vermouth couldn't help but wonder what would have happened if she had said something back then. Even armed with such knowledge, it was entirely possible that Merlot and the newly christened Paikaru could have slipped from his grasp- and she didn't even want to think about the mental state he would have been in if something like that had happened. "From the fact that you know he's lost his memories, I take it you've spoken with him."

"Yes." Shinichi said shortly, not willing to divulge any further information to her. "I have."

"It's going to get quite busy for you again very soon, isn't it, _great detective_?" Vermouth asked.

"Yes." Getting to his feet, a look of determination dashed away the guilt in his eyes. "It will."

* * *

"I brought you some food." All but dropping the bag of fast food on Paikaru's stomach, Shinichi watched as he first pulled up the book he was reading to glance at the bag, before finally turning to look up towards the detective. He'd found the assassin stretched out on the floor of the library of his home, head resting on a small pile of other Ellery Queen novels, for all the world looking as if he'd already made himself at home there. As absorbed as he appeared to be in the novel that he was reading, Shinichi didn't miss the slight way he'd stiffened as he had entered the room, indicating that Paikaru wasn't nearly as completely focused on his novel as he looked.

Seeing that Shinichi had returned from his trip to visit Vermouth, Hakuba excused himself from the library. He'd positioned himself at the desk, his gaze fixed on Paikaru, watching him rather intently the entire time. The young man in question had paid him very little attention in return, far more interested in the mystery novels that Shinichi had given him before he'd left.

"Oh, thanks!" Marking the page he was reading, Paikaru closed the book for the moment, plucking the bag of fast food off of his stomach and shifting into a sitting position. "I was just startin' ta get a little bit hungry. Yer a real lifesaver!"

Shinichi couldn't help but scoff at those words. They had been said in jest, he knew full well, but he couldn't help but find it bitterly ironic to be told such a thing. "If I really were some kind of lifesaver, you wouldn't have the name Paikaru."

"Mm." Opening up the bag, Paikaru pulled out the carton of fries, setting it aside, reaching for the burger deeper in the bag. Unwrapping it, he took a bite out of it before he turned his attention towards Shinichi, an assessing look on his face. That too, he thought, was different from the assessing way that Heiji would often size up suspects- it was an expression that had been born out of an entirely different need, after all.

"Ya don't like me, do you?" Paikaru asked, cutting straight to the point. "I can't blame ya. Here ya were, hopin' ta reconnect with the yer dead best friend, an' ya end up with me instead."

"It's not like that." Shinichi said, letting out a deep sigh, grateful that Hakuba had excused himself. Taking a seat across from Paikaru, he watched as the young man before him took another bite out of his burger, suddenly remembering that he probably hadn't had anything to eat since that morning. "You _are_ Hattori, you're just also..."

"Not?" Paikaru finished for him. "Believe me, I understand what yer thinkin' there, Kudo-han. Even if ya tell me that I used ta be some kind of high school detective, honestly, I find it hard to believe." Noticing the slight start in Shinichi's eyes, he gave him a wry grin. "Whoa there, detective. I didn't say I thought ya were lyin' ta me. I wouldn't be hangin' around here still if I thought ya were."

"For what it's worth, I'm sorry." Shinichi said after a moment. "I should have tried harder to find you. I searched every hospital in Japan, and it still wasn't nearly enough." Shaking his head, he narrowed his eyes. "If I'd just found you earlier, maybe circumstances would have been better than this."

Judging from the look of on his face, Paikaru was more than a little taken aback by the sudden apology- and clearly had no idea what to make of it. "Ya shouldn't blame yerself like that, Kudo-han." Shrugging his shoulders finally, he gave him an almost sheepish looking grin. "'Sides, maybe with time, I'll remember more about this Hattori of yers. That's what ya really want, right? More than my help with the Organization, ya want me ta remember."

The silence that hung in the air between the two of them was thick enough to cut with a enough. Although it wasn't spoken aloud, there was a clear underlying implication to his words- that the person that Shinichi wanted here was not Paikaru, but Hattori Heiji. Finally, Shinichi broke the silence himself. "Yes. I do. More than anything."

"Well, that's what I thought." Paikaru said simply. "I'm not like him at all, am I?"

"You're similar." Shinichi said after a moment. "Ellery Queen was his favorite too, for example." Closing his eyes, he shook his head a little. "It's true that I do want you to remember, Paikaru. I want to be able to stop using a codename given to you be an Organization that I despise, and start calling you Hattori again without having to see you look uncomfortable every time I use it. But more importantly than that, I also don't want to see you push yourself to remember, and end up straining yourself."

Opening his eyes again, Shinichi gave him a small smile. "Whatever happens, the fact doesn't change that I'm happy that you're _alive_ , memories or no memories, regardless of what name you're more comfortable with me using. Even if you _never_ remember, I don't intend to throw you out into the cold, so to speak. You're not the same as the Hattori that I knew, but there's no reason as to why I shouldn't put forth some kind of effort to get to know you as you are now."

He had to admit, he hadn't exactly expected Paikaru's reaction to those words would be to turn a faint shade of red, and quickly avert his eyes from him. "S-sorry, that's, um..." Trailing off a little, he gave him a nervous laugh, suddenly apparently finding the ceiling infinitely fascinating judging by the way he centered his gaze on it.

"Positive attention is rare for you, isn't it?" Shinichi couldn't help but observe, quirking a brow as Paikaru gave him the slightest of nods. "Don't really know what to do with it, do you?"

"I've just never really had anyone say anythin' like that ta me before." He admitted, scratching his cheek a little. More or less he found himself being accustomed to being treated something like a tool- whatever positive attention came his way over the past five years was all a part of Merlot's calculated manipulation of him, so he could hardly even compare it to someone telling him that he was actually happy that was alive. "At least, not that I remember."

"If this is how badly you react to _me_ , I'd be amazed if you managed to survive even five minutes with Kazuha." Shinichi couldn't help but note, secretly somewhat interested in this rather unexpected side to the young man before him. If it weren't for the fact that the implications behind him being so bad with any form of positive attention were utterly horrifying, then he'd almost be willing to say that it was actually rather amusing. The Hattori that he had known had always been the type to get carried away with praise, while the young man he was gradually coming to know all over again almost seemed like he'd overheat at the faintest hint of anything nice said to him.

Whatever Hattori had been through to make him like this, it must have been hell.

"Kazuha... she's the one ya mentioned, earlier, right?" Paikaru asked, his hand unconsciously reaching up to touch his omamori again. "A childhood friend, huh. It's kinda hard ta believe I had somethin' like that."

"You did." Nodding his head, Shinichi gave him a small smile. Getting to know Paikaru was certainly proving to be interesting in it's own right- although the added humanity it provided him made it all the more disconcerting when he did display behavior that made it _abundantly_ clear that he was perfectly capable of killing people. Such instincts most likely wouldn't go away even if his memories returned, he grimly thought to himself. "She's the one who made that omamori you've been holding on to all of this time."

"Eh? Is that so?" Blinking, Paikaru glanced down at he omamori in question, carefully holding it in his hand. "I see. That's why it always felt so warm."

Opening his mouth to ask a question that was all but dancing on his lips, Shinichi found himself preemptively cut off by the ringing of his cellphone, the ringtone alone being enough to tell him it was a call from the Tokyo MPD. Wondering what it was that they could want, he answered the phone quickly, getting to his feet and walking away from Paikaru somewhat to speak to the person on the other end of the line.

Finishing his call and hanging up, Shinichi tucked his cellphone away, turning his attention back towards Paikaru, a considering look on his face.

"Say," He began, causing the amnesiac Osakan to look his way. "How do you feel about helping me solve a case?"


	5. Omen

AN: Chapter five is here! Things are starting to heat up! I'm pretty excited for this plot to move forward myself, there's some things I'm looking forward to writing in store in the future!

As always, I'd like to take a moment of time to thank both my readers and reviewers- and ask that you leave a review on your way out! It's super encouraging to hear what you guys think!

* * *

 **Phantasmal Black**

 **Chapter Five**

 **Omen**

* * *

"You must be out of your mind, Kudo-kun."

"Relax, Hakuba." Shinichi said simply, casting a look back towards the half-British detective who had decided that he was going to follow along after them from the very moment he'd heard Shinichi's idea. "It'll be fine."

"What part of bringing an assassin to a crime scene is _fine_?" Hakuba asked, glancing back towards the person in question, who flashed him another placid, business-like smile from within the shadow of his hood. "We're trying to keep Paikaru _hidden_ , not parade him around for all the world to see. Not to mention that there are members of the Tokyo MPD that are _very_ likely to recognize Hattori-kun's face, and need I remind you, legally speaking, he's been _dead_ for five years."

"And that's why we're not going to introduce him as either Paikaru or Hattori Heiji." Shinichi said simply, glancing back towards the person who was somewhat lingering behind them. He'd fallen almost instinctively into step behind them, casting a suspicious look in Hakuba's direction whenever he thought that they weren't looking. It was probably pure instinct that caused him not to want to show his back to Hakuba that easily. He obviously still didn't trust him. "We're going to introduce him as an acquaintance of yours from overseas. How's your English, Paikaru?"

"My English is perfect." Paikaru told them, switching over towards the language in question. He couldn't help but note with no small bit of amusement that Hakuba seemed to be visibly surprised by this fact. It was a bit odd, he thought to himself- he'd been active in America and England for any number of years, one would have thought Hakuba would have simply assumed that he was skilled at speaking English. Perhaps it had less to do with him, and more to do with the person he'd been in the past. "If you're going down the foreigner route, I can play that act pretty well. Most people don't think I'm Japanese at first to begin with anyways."

"Now that you mention it, something like that happened in the past..." Shinichi trailed off a little. It had been back when he'd met Jodie for the first time, he recalled. "At any rate, if we obviously can't bring him back home to Osaka that easily. I was thinking that at the very least, some of his memories might be jostled if he helped me solve a case, like he did back in the day."

"Oh, did something like that happen?" Paikaru asked, tilting his head a little. He was still speaking English, Hakuba noted with a small hint of frustration- he'd never expected to hear near flawless English come out of Hattori Heiji's mouth. "A case, though, huh? Frankly, I don't know how much use I'll be ta ya, Kudo-han."

He was rather skilled when it came to killing people, not solving the mystery behind their deaths. Honestly, it was more than a little difficult for him to comprehend the fact that he'd once been on the other side of that dynamic- working as a detective to discover the true identity of a murderer, to bring them to justice. He'd developed a fundamentally different set of skills and instincts since then, and he couldn't help but wonder if any of his old skills even still existed. He doubted that amnesia alone would have wiped them away- rather, it was a question of his training.

And his brainwashing, he supposed. He might have not been one of Merlot's obedient puppets that she had raised from birth, but there was no other way to explain someone going from being a detective to a murderer other than there being some pretty intense brainwashing involved.

It made perfect sense though. It was strange for him to think about it now, but when he'd first started out in this sort of life, he'd been more than just a little hesitant to take anyone's life. Idly rubbing his bandaged left wrist, his eyes narrowed a little, the smell of charred flesh and crackling electricity haunting him. When had it been, exactly, that he'd been turned from an amnesiac detective to a professional killer, someone capable of taking lives with any qualms?

Frankly, he was just amazed that Shinichi didn't view him as some kind of monster wearing his dead best friend's face. That's more or less what he _felt_ like, now that he knew the truth of who he had been before he'd lost his memories. And yet, even with that, he'd still take having the answer over not knowing any day. It somehow made him feel more like a real person, to know that beyond a shadow of a doubt, he did actually have some kind of past, even if he couldn't remember it.

"I'm sure you'll do just fine, Paikaru." Flashing a small smile back at him, Paikaru frowned a little, unsure of what to make of such an expression being directed at him. There was no way that the detective who cast it didn't resent him at least a little, he thought to himself, in spite of the words they had exchanged earlier. He was probably just putting up a strong front. "Besides, maybe if you spend some time around Takagi-san, you might pick up some clues on who it was that wanted you to kill her."

For a moment, Paikaru thought he hadn't quite heard him right. A look of genuine surprise crossing his face, he could only look towards the detective with an expression of pure befuddlement.

"You're bringin' me ta a crime scene that's headed by the Inspector I was supposed to _kill_?" Paikaru asked, his tone disbelieving, gaze briefly flickering back over towards Hakuba. "Blondie over there is right, Kudo-han. You _are_ out of your mind."

* * *

"He's not home right now."

Startling a little at the sound of Ai's voice, Ran glanced down towards the junior high student, wondering when it was that she had appeared next to her. She had just been about to ring Shinichi's doorbell when she'd startled her, and she couldn't help but frown at her words. "Is he still working on that case for Miwako-san?" She asked, heaving a sigh.

She had just gotten back from Osaka herself, and had hoped that she would have been able to see her fiancee today. But if he was still working on the case that had dragged him away from Heiji's memorial service last night, there wasn't much of a chance of that. She already knew too well how he operated.

"Something like that." Ai said simply. Shinichi had left behind very specific instructions to not tell Ran anything for the moment, and Ai couldn't help but agree with him. The less people who knew the fact that Hattori Heiji was still alive, the better, at least at the moment. Perhaps if he managed to regain his memories, that might change, but for the time being, it was best to keep this whole affair under wraps.

"I suppose it can't be helped then." Heaving a sigh, Ran couldn't help but frown a little at the young girl in front of her. Come to think of it, she'd left for Tokyo herself on that same night, apparently only telling the Professor by cellphone about it after she was already at the station. She couldn't help but get the feeling that this was somehow related to the way Shinichi couldn't have left Osaka fast enough.

It didn't have something to do with _them_ , did it? But if that was the case, why wouldn't Shinichi tell her? She thought that after all of these years, he would have learned that it was safe to tell her these type of things.

"Hey, is he _really_ working on a case for Miwako-san?" Ran asked, unable to keep her worries out of her expression. "He's not actually doing something else, is he?"

Well, as much as she agreed with Shinichi's decision to try and conceal things from Ran, that didn't meant that Ai thought it would go over all that well. She'd gotten pretty perceptive about this sort of thing recently, ever since she had been told the truth behind the one known as Edogawa Conan. Letting a slight sigh escape from her lips, Ai folded her arms in front of her chest.

"That's what he was just called out to do a moment ago, at the very least." Ai said, the implications of her words crystal clear- that he _hadn't_ been working on a case for Inspector Takagi Miwako until just a little bit ago. "He and Hakuba-kun left just now."

"He's keeping things from me again, isn't he?" Planting her hands on her hips, Ran's eyes narrowed, already planning on giving Shinichi a piece of her mind the next time she saw him. They were engaged to be married, and he was still doing this sort of thing! Unbelievable!

Heaving a frustrated sigh, Ran gave Ai a pleading smile, hoping that maybe she would help her out with this. "Hey, Ai-chan, can you tell me what he's working on now? You know I worry about him, after all."

"I can't." Ai's voice had a stern tone to it that was well beyond the age she looked. "He specifically told me not to." Closing her eyes, she let the smallest of sighs escape from her, before opening them back up, looking straight up at Ran. "It might be better if you just accept that for now, Ran-san. Kudo-kun has a good reason for keeping you out of the loop this time."

"It involves _them_ , doesn't it?" Ran asked, her lips arranged in a tight frown. The fact that Hakuba had been mentioned in the same breath as her fiancee was clue enough to that, she didn't need to be a detective herself to put two and two together. After all, the last thing she'd heard about Hakuba from Kazuha was that he was on the trail of a Black Organization member. If he was back here in Tokyo, then something _must_ have been going on.

And if it involved _them_ , then it was very likely that Ai would know some of the details. She still didn't quite understand what Ai's ties were to that dreaded Organization, and frankly, she didn't really care that much. The girl in front of her was simply Haibara Ai, Professor Agasa's beloved granddaughter, and no one else- she didn't need to know anything further that the girl herself wasn't willing to tell her.

"It does." Ai replied frankly, giving her a curt nod of her head. "That's why it's best for you not to pry any further, Ran-san. If things work out, he might tell you eventually. And if they don't..." She trailed off there, her eyes narrowing as she considered the possibilities. "It would be better for you if you didn't know anything then."

That unusually serious expression on her face, the one that didn't belong on a girl of her age, was something that Ran had come to know well over the past five years. There was probably a truth to what she was saying- but at the same time, Ran couldn't help but want to _know_. She wanted to be able to stand by Shinichi's side and help him in his hour of need- there had been too many of those in the past when she hadn't been there for him, in spite of the fact that they had been living underneath the same roof, something which she had no idea about at the time.

"It involves _that_ Organization member, at least, doesn't it?" Ran asked, trying to recall the codename in question. "Paikaru?"

That complicated expression that crossed Ai's face was something that Ran _wasn't_ familiar with. As the girl turned away from her, fully aware of what kind of expression was on her face, Ai could only manage to give her a small smile- one that had no traces of happiness or joy.

"It does."

* * *

As much as Hakuba didn't want to admit it, Shinichi _did_ have a point.

Introducing Paikaru to Takagi Miwako had gone over rather smoothly, much to his own relief. He didn't miss that glint that had surfaced in Paikaru's eyes as he shook hands with the woman, knowing full well that it wasn't the glint of any kind of returning memory, but he'd made no moves to indicate that he had any desire to fulfill what he'd originally come to Tokyo for in the first place. For her part, although there had been a slight frown gracing her features as she shook hands with the hooded young man, she didn't seem to recognize him herself.

They'd never interacted that often to begin with, Shinichi had told him. If her husband, on the other hand, were around, he would have never brought Paikaru to the scene, but thankfully Takagi Wataru hand long since retired from the police force to raise his and Miwako's children. He had more or less completely settled into the domestic lifestyle the last time he'd met him, the very image of a doting, devoted father.

Even if working to solve a case with them didn't jostle any of Paikaru's memories, then at the very least, it would allow them to gauge just how much of Heiji's deductive reasoning had remained behind. He doubtlessly hadn't had much cause to use it over the past five years, but from the fact that he'd been able to accurately notice and deduce that he was being lied to by Merlot, and had been able to determine that he most likely hadn't always been an assassin, it didn't seem like they had all vanished.

Even if his angle of approach had changed, Hakuba thought to himself, unable to help but notice that the assessing gaze he cast towards the victim and the suspects alike was _not_ that of a detective's. What Paikaru was looking for was something that a detective like himself would most likely be unable to notice, at least not half as well as someone whose main purpose in life up until this point had been killing.

"But you sure have an unusual friend, Hakuba-san." Miwako's voice startled him somewhat, and the half-British detective couldn't help but turn towards her. Whose idea was it to introduce Paikaru as _his_ friend, anyways? "It's too bad he only speaks English, I would have liked the chance to speak with him myself."

"Ah, well..." Trailing off a little, Hakuba coughed into his hand, regaining his composure. That had been the lie that they had told her, after all, and Paikaru was more than happy to comply, chatting away in nearly flawless English, all while pretending that he didn't understand a word of Japanese. Lying might not have been Heiji's forte, but Paikaru was quite skilled in doing so. "Yes. He's _quite_ the interesting fellow."

Well, that wasn't _technically_ a lie.

"Is he going to be staying here in Japan long?" Miwako asked, watching as Shinichi and the young man in question chatted back and forth in quick English, beyond her level of understanding.

Hakuba, however, _did_ understand, and found his gaze sliding over towards one of the suspects. It was certainly true that the butcher wouldn't have made such an amateur mistake as the one Paikaru was a little _too_ vividly describing, even if what he was accustomed to chopping up were animals, and not people. It was more than a little disquieting that he could so easily realize something like this just from looking at the knife wound, and judging from the shadow on Shinichi's face, he got the feeling his fellow detective was thinking that as well.

"That hasn't been decided yet." Hakuba told her, flashing her a small smile. "He may only be here for a short while."

"I see." With a slight frown on her features, Miwako then brightened up, seemingly heedless of the fact that she was at the scene of a pretty grisly murder. She'd seen it all already, after all, nothing really bothered her much at this point. Patting Hakuba on the back, the taller detective stumbled a little at the force of it, something which she failed to pick up on. "Well, be sure to properly show him some sights, Hakuba-san! Don't just drag him around with you to murder scenes!"

"Yes, I'll be certain to." Hakuba told her, quickly excusing himself to join the other two. Kneeling down next to Shinichi, he caught the brief annoyed look that Paikaru sent his way. Apparently one of the things that Hattori Heiji and Paikaru had in common was the fact that neither of them appeared to like him very much.

Which was fair, he didn't care for Paikaru all that much either.

"So if we eliminate the butcher, that leaves us with the baker and the hat maker." Hakuba noted, switching over to English. They had an act to keep up, after all. Briefly wondering exactly _what_ kind of case involved a butcher, a baker, and hat maker- not to mention the deceased candle maker, he turned his attention towards the two remaining suspects.

"They both have strong motives." Shinichi mumbled, placing a hand on his chin, his brows furrowing together. They'd already been able to figure out the trick behind the locked room, but both the remaining suspects would have had a chance to pull it off. What they were lacking was definitive evidence that pointed towards one or the other. "There's something about this case that we're missing."

Tilting his head to the side, Paikaru curiously watched the two detectives discuss it out. If they'd asked him, he would have told them his money was on the baker- but then again, it was just his instincts that told him that much. There was a glimmer in the woman's eyes, a certain stiffness to the way she moved, something in the way her breath sometimes caught in her throat that made him read her as a woman who'd just killed someone for the first time in her life.

But well, he wasn't sure he should bring something like that up. He'd already watched the way Shinichi's expression had shifted when he'd told him about the hack job the killer had done of actually murdering their victim in the first place. There was no way someone as familiar with a knife as the butcher obviously was, would have ever made such amateur like mistakes. Even if it was his first time using his skills on a human, rather than animal, that wouldn't explain the complete and total hack job that had been done when it came to dismembering the corpse.

He'd have done better in his sleep, if he cared to. Dismembering wasn't really his thing, though. Too much work, too little benefits. Really, there was no point in doing it here other than to apparently mimic some kind of ghost story.

Well, he probably _shouldn't_ mention that either, Paikaru thought, quirking a brow as the two detectives seemed to rapidly be coming to a conclusion. When they locked eyes with each other, the both of them briefly almost seeming to be mutually stunned into silence, he couldn't help but frown, feeling the faintest tug in the back of his mind. There was _something_ about that silent exchange, and something about the ensuing way that both detectives suddenly sprung to their feet, each heading off in an opposite direction, that felt almost vaguely familiar.

Maybe he really had done something like this in the past, he thought to himself, watching as a triumphant looking Shinichi returned to the room, holding in his hand a pair of broken off fake nails, ones that caused the baker to visibly blanch. The red color that stained them, he knew, wasn't supposed to be there.

As he watched Shinichi and Hakuba give their conjoined deduction, Paikaru couldn't help feel a strange shadow fall over his heart. There was something there, of that much he was certain- but even when he racked his brain, trying to recall what it might have been that made him feel this way, it was a fruitless effort. All it earned him was a sharp, stinging pain in the back of his head, and no shortage of frustration.

As much as Shinichi had tried to reassure him that it was alright if he didn't remember, he couldn't feel the same way. Idly placing a hand over where his omamori was, now tucked back underneath his shirt, Paikaru's eyes narrowed, watching as the two detectives finished up their deduction show, watching as the culprit collapsed, their own guilt finally getting to them.

He didn't understand that, either. Or at the very least- he thought he didn't.

* * *

As she placed a hand over her omamori, watching the bank robber that she'd just apprehended being escorted off into a police car, Kazuha couldn't help but notice that it felt slightly warm. Perhaps somewhere out there, Heiji was touching his own, she thought to herself, a fond expression crossing her face.

It was enough to make her ignore the rather vicious obscenities the bank robber was slinging her way. Honestly, some people had no class. If you were going to try and rob a bank by yourself, while trying to pass off a model gun as the real thing, then you really _shouldn't_ act all that surprised when you got caught. She'd never lost her skills at aikido- in fact they'd gotten even better over these past five years. Taking out one measly bank robber had been no real challenge.

With a 'good work' given to her fellow officers, Kazuha promised them that she would join them at the station shortly to fill out the appropriate paperwork. Honestly, and she hadn't even been on duty today! She always took the days surrounding Heiji's birthday off, unless there was something involving _that_ Organization brewing.

Come to think of it, Kazuha thought to herself, putting on her battered motorcycle helmet, another memento from Heiji, much the same as her battered motorcycle, Hakuba hadn't gotten in touch with her since yesterday. She should probably give him a call. He seemed to have been under the impression that he was closing in, after all.

Switching the ignition key on, Kazuha let out a small grumble as she heard the motorcycle start up- only to sputter and die. Giving it a good whack on the side, she all but glowered down at the aging vehicle. "C'mon now, ya don't need ta die on me just yet. Ya've got some more life in ya."

Almost seeming to be coaxed by her words, the motorcycle roared to life again, the steady hum of it's engines reassuring her that it was going to agree with her for now. Slipping her way out into the Osakan streets, she made her way back towards police headquarters. After she called Hakuba and filled out her report, she would head out to treat herself to some takoyaki, she thought.

Pulling into the parking lot of the police headquarters, she took off her helmet, shaking out her hair. Setting aside her helmet for the moment, she pulled into her purse, pulling out her cellphone and calling Hakuba's number. For a few moments, he didn't answer- given the fact that he was usually so prompt, she couldn't help but feel a slight surge of worry rise in her chest- what if the reason he hadn't contacted her yet was because something had happened?

But then finally, he picked up.

"Toyama-san?"

Kazuha couldn't help but note a slight... _something_ in his voice. She couldn't quite place what it was- Hakuba was always difficult for her to read. In many ways, he was even more of Heiji's opposite than Shinichi was, in spite of the fact that they came from rather similar backgrounds.

"Ah, Hakuba-san?" Kazuha let out a slight sigh of relief at hearing his voice, the note that didn't quite fit in it put to the side for the moment. "Is everythin' okay? Ya haven't called me since yesterday, so I was a bit worried."

"Ah, my apologies. I've been a bit caught up in work." Hakuba told her. "Things haven't changed over here. I still haven't been able to make contact with Paikaru."

"I see." With a slight frown, Kazuha narrowed her eyes, her little finger idly rubbing up and down her phone, feeling a slight itch from it. It tingled, sometimes, whenever he was brought up, for reasons she didn't fully understand. "You'll contact me if you learn anythin', right?"

The Black Organization's assassin, Paikaru. There had always been something about the one who bore that codename that had always made Kazuha uneasy, but she never really knew why. It was part of the reason that she had decided to assist Hakuba as best she could with his investigation into him- she wanted to shake away this dark feeling she had in the pit of her stomach.

"Of course I will, Toyama-san." Hakuba reassured her- but there was something in his tone that she almost knew for a lie. Her eyes narrowing further, Kazuha felt the uneasy feeling surface within her, a cold, black feeling that rose up from her gut. "But if you'll excuse me, I have to get back to work."

"Alright." Kazuha said after a moment. No sooner than had the words left her lips did she hear the dial tone on the other end of the line, telling her that she had been hung up on. Frowning suspiciously at her phone, she tucked it back away. Was Hakuba lying to her? He hadn't suddenly decided that this investigation was something she couldn't handle, had he? If he got any kind of idea like that into his head, she'd remind him personally _which_ one of them was more skilled at actually taking down criminals.

It wasn't him.

Letting out an irritated sound, Kazuha pushed herself onto her feet, deciding that she would pay him a visit in Tokyo herself _very_ soon. If she went to Shinichi's place, she was certain that she would learn where Hakuba was.

It was a slight tearing sound that caught her attention, pushing her frustrated thoughts away from her. Instinctively checking her jeans first thing, she let out a slight sigh of relief- something which caught in her throat, as she caught a hint of a purple color on the ground beneath her feet, just out of the corner of her eye.

Kneeling down, she reached out with a slightly shaking hand, carefully scooping up the fallen object. Her precious omamori, the strap of which she used to hang it from around her neck having frayed at the seams, giving way, allowing it to tumble unto the ground. Had it gotten damaged when she was tangling with that bank robber?

Her grip tight on her omamori, Kazuha held it tightly to her chest. For some reason, she couldn't shake the distinct feeling that this was an ill omen.

* * *

From the way that Paikaru had perked up at the mere mention of Kazuha's last name, Shinichi almost couldn't help but mentally compare him to a dog that had heard it's owner come home. One minute the assassin had been lost in his own thoughts, and then the next, he was hovering far too close to Hakuba for the half-British detective's comfort, listening into their conversation in the most unsubtle way possible.

"So? You remember anything from hearing her voice?" Shinichi asked, watching with some mild amusement as Hakuba had to literally shove the amnesiac away from him. He allowed him to do so without much of a fuss, before turning his attention towards Shinichi.

"No, not really." Shaking his head, Paikaru gave him a simple shrug of his shoulders. "She has a really nice voice, though!"

The bright smile that dawned across his face then was nearly too dazzling to look at. By far, Shinichi noted, it was the most Heiji-like grin he'd given them yet. And naturally, it was in regards to Kazuha.

After wrapping things up at the crime scene, they had made a quick swing by the local ATM, allowing Paikaru to withdraw a considerable amount of money from the bank, in an account that was naturally under a fake name. With that safely pocketed away, they were en route back to Shinichi's home. He'd gotten a text from Ai informing him that Ran had returned home and was looking for him- and that she no longer bought his excuse of having to hurry away the night before because of a case sent to him by the police. At the very least, Ran had decided to not wait around Shinichi's place for him to come back, but he knew that dealing with her in the coming days was going to be tricky.

He didn't want to involve Ran in this just yet. Once Merlot came looking for her missing assassin, he was almost certain things were going to get tricky for them very quickly- especially if his theory was actually correct. That was something he wanted to discuss with Hakuba, but in private, without Paikaru lurking around.

But for the moment, there was one thing he wanted to confirm while the amnesiac assassin was actually here. Reaching into his pocket and pulling out his own phone, he brought up an picture that Ran had sent him awhile back, one of her and Kazuha. Glancing up at Paikaru, a hint of slightly sly grin appeared on his face.

If his intuition was on the mark, this should be rather amusing. Granted, there was a reason behind this other than simple teasing, but that was no small part of why he was asking, if he was going to be completely honest.

"Come to think of it, you haven't seen a recent photo of Kazuha yet, have you?" Shinichi asked, catching Hakuba shooting him a strange look out of the corner of his eye, doubtlessly wondering what he was doing. "I happen to have one here. Do you want to see it?"

"Oh, sure!" Flashing him a quick grin, Paikaru peered around his hand, taking a look at the image displayed on the phone screen. "This one here is Kazuha?" He asked, tapping the screen, indicating which one he meant- when Shinichi nodded in confirmation, he turned back to look towards her once more. "She as pretty as she sounds!"

" _Pretty_ , huh?" Shinichi could help but note, casting his sly grin up towards the enraptured Osakan. Tucking his phone away, he decided to ask the question he'd been prevented from asking him earlier in the day. "Paikaru- are you in love with Kazuha?"

"W-what are ya talkin' about!?" From the way Paikaru's eyes went wide, his guard momentarily almost entirely dropping, Shinichi had a feeling that he was more or less right on the mark. That sort of flustered reaction- he was going to file that under things that he had in common with Heiji. "H-how can I have feelings fer someone I've never even met before!? Don't say such stupid things!"

"But you do think she's pretty." Shinichi noted simply, watching as Paikaru narrowed his eyes, apparently realizing that he was being teased, and not liking it one bit. "Now, now, don't get angry. There's nothing wrong with it, Paikaru. Hattori was in love with her too, you know. If anything, it's probably a good thing if your feelings are the same."

Growing slightly less tense, Paikaru took half a step back, carefully studying the detective in front of him as if trying to learn what his game was here. Was this what they called light ribbing between friends, perhaps? Or was there some other goal that the detective was after? "Now that I think about it, ya did mention somethin' like that before." Rubbing the back of his neck, he averted his gaze slightly from Shinichi, unsure of what to make of this information. Honestly, he hadn't given it much thought before- but love? _Him_?

No way. That was totally impossible.

Even if he _did_ feel a strange warm feeling in his chest whenever that girl was brought up. And even if she _had_ turned out to be the one that had made the omamori that brought a feeling of warmth and calmness with it whenever he held it. It had been his only lifeline back to a past which he could no longer remember, and although Merlot had wanted to dispose of it, he'd managed to hold on to it all this time.

But there was no way someone like himself could be in love! It was absurd, unthinkable, preposterous- and why the hell was that damn detective _looking_ at him like that?

"What's that grin fer?" Paikaru asked, casting Shinichi a suspicious look. Out of the corner of his eye, he couldn't help but notice that Hakuba was watching this all unfold with a rather dry expression on his face, wisely deciding to stay out of it. "Seriously, Kudo-han, stop lookin' at me like that. It's creepy."

"Sorry, sorry. Don't worry about it." Shinichi told him quickly, shoving his hands back inside of his pockets, taking notice of the fact that they had made their way back towards his house. Checking for any signs that someone might be inside, he confirmed that this wasn't the case. "Anyways, we're back. Hakuba, why don't you come in for some tea? Paikaru, don't you still have some novels to finish?"

"Ah, now that ya mention it." Blinking, Paikaru tilted his head, unable to shake the feeling that Shinichi had brought it up because he wanted him out of the way for the moment. Well, whatever. If that was what he wanted, he'd play along for now. He doubted that the detective was going to do anything behind his back- he didn't seem the sort.

If he was going to turn him in, he would have done it a long time ago.

Watching as Paikaru made his way back towards the library, Shinichi turned back towards Hakuba, motioning for him to take a seat in the living room. Following behind him, Shinichi sat on the chair across from him, a far more serious expression crossing his face, taking place of the jovial one he had just moments before.

"So?" Shinichi asked, his eyes narrowing slightly. "What do you think of him, Hakuba?"

"I'm uncertain of _what_ to think." Hakuba said after a moment, a tight frown on his lips. "I feel more ready to believe that he means what he says about wanting to leave the Organization, but I'm still not entirely ready to throw my lot in with him. It's not impossible that if things start heading south, he might betray us, or at the very least, abandon us. He's geared for survival under any circumstances, I can tell that much at the very least."

"I don't think he would." Shinichi said after a moment- though this was admittedly something he had to consider. He also got the feeling that Paikaru himself would be likely to agree with Hakuba's perception of him- but even so, Shinichi just didn't think it was correct. He'd been proven wrong before, but he didn't think he was mistaken this time. "It's not like the things that made up Hattori have completely vanished. If anything, it's more like their direction has changed."

Hakuba couldn't help but feel that he might understand what it was that he meant by that, casting an eye up towards the stairs where Paikaru had headed. He didn't like the idea of letting him out of their sight, but he supposed that he couldn't force Shinichi to observe him twenty-four seven. Whatever measure of trust he'd earned from Paikaru would doubtlessly wane away if he started doing something like that.

"What was that about earlier though, Kudo-kun?" Hakuba asked after a moment. "That whole farce regarding Toyama-san."

"It wasn't a farce." Shinichi said simply, shrugging his shoulders. "There was something I wanted to ascertain. Just like Paikaru hadn't seen a recent photo of Kazuha, you haven't seen a photo of her from back in the day for awhile, have you?"

"I haven't, but what does that have to do with anything?" Hakuba asked, blinking a little.

"If I'm right, you'll understand once you see it." Shinichi told him simply, pushing the scrapbook that he had kept out on the table ever since he'd shown it to Paikaru earlier that morning. Taking it from him, the half-British detective cast Shinichi a doubtful look, before opening it up, locating a picture of the aforementioned seventeen year old Kazuha.

The spark was instant.

A single, teenage girl, her hair worn high in a ponytail, orange ribbon tied tightly to hold it in place.

Hushed whispers from the lips of a girl who had managed to escape death by hiding herself away, quietly handing him his first clues as to Paikaru's appearance. A girl who grew pale and trembled as she recalled that terrible night- and yet nevertheless, for a moment, had hesitated to describe the one who had killed the rest of her family, a flicker of something that he hadn't been able to identify at the time in her eyes.

"They look alike." Hakuba said slowly, setting the album down, pushing it away from him. "Toyama-san and that girl... They're alike."

"I thought that was the case." Shinichi said, closing his eyes. It was something that he had no way of confirming himself- he'd never seen the girl in question, the one who had survived the assassination of her parents and brother. But Hakuba had, and if his hunch proved right, then he knew exactly what kind of reaction he would get by showing him that photograph.

Kazuha hadn't worn her hair in a ribbon in at least three years, after all. It was no wonder he'd forgotten.

"If my theory is correct, that girl didn't just happen to escape death by hiding." Shinichi told him, opening his eyes and looking directly across at him, conviction filling his eyes. The impression of Paikaru that he'd gathered thus far only strengthened it. "She escaped death because Paikaru let her live. He let her go, Hakuba. The fact that she's the only one who has ever escaped him, and the fact that she and Kazuha look so much alike _can't_ be a coincidence."

"But why he do something like that?" Hakuba asked, unsure what to make of this new information. "He doesn't even remember anything about Toyama-san in the first place. You said so yourself, Kudo-kun. Why would he let her live just because she resembled her?"

"There's something there." Shinichi told him. "It's faint, but it's something. Back when we were giving our deductions, there was something there as well, something in the way he was watching us. Probably on some subconscious level, he can faintly recall things, enough so that he couldn't bring himself to kill that girl, even though he himself most likely didn't understand why."

 _"Ah. That explains it."_

That tender tone in his voice as Shinichi explained to him who Kazuha was- and the ensuing tears. Paikaru was an assassin, a murderer- but he wasn't a monster. His crimes couldn't be written away, waved off in light of the things he had done before he'd lost his memories- but he wasn't a remorseless killer, even if that wasn't something he understood himself. Sparing a life after all of these years had doubtlessly stirred something inside of him- even if Paikaru himself didn't realize what it was.

"And this girl also explains why he's here, now, in Japan, after all of this time." Shinichi finally continued. "There are countless assassins in the world, and yet the one who was hired to kill Takagi-san was Paikaru." Shinichi told him, making sure to keep his voice low. He didn't want it to carry throughout the rest of the house. "Why do you think that is, Hakuba? Don't you find it strange that after trying to keep him away from Japan for so long, not only does Merlot let him come here, but his target ends up being someone he would have known in the past. _Why_?"

Leaning back against his chair, Hakuba's brow furrowed in thought. If Shinichi was going where he thought he was with this line of logic, then...

"It was a test." Hakuba said finally, his eyes narrowing. "A test to see if Paikaru could manage to kill someone that Hattori Heiji knew. Merlot was most likely worried that his memories might have been gradually returning to him."

For that purpose, Takagi Miwako was the perfect target. She was someone that he had known in the past, but not as well- someone that had been closer to Hattori Heiji would have created an even bigger risk of his memories returning if that really had been the case. Merlot had probably sat on this thought for months before she caught wind that someone wanted the female Inspector dead- and saw it as her perfect chance.

"Yes." Slowly nodding his head, Shinichi closed his eyes, able to feel the cold hand of them reaching out- something that he hadn't felt in years now. "Two days from now, Takagi Miwako will still be alive. And that means Merlot will most likely think that he's failed the test."

"She'll come looking for us." Hakuba said. "Or more precisely, she'll come looking for _you_."

"Without a doubt." Giving him a curt nod, Shinichi let out a long breath. "Which means we have two days to not only prepare for Merlot's arrival, but possibly Gin's as well."

In spite of everything, Shinichi couldn't help but smile. This might very well be the perfect chance that he had been looking for to grab hold of Gin's shadow, and to drag the man clad in black into the light. He had already escaped him for far too long.

"We're going to need some help, Kudo-kun." Hakuba observed.

"I know." Shinichi said simply, rising to his feet just as the doorbell rang, almost as if on cue. "That's why I called for some."


	6. Remains

AN: Here's chapter six, hot off the presses! I was able to write some of the stuff I've been looking somewhat forward to with this chapter, especially that last scene that I've had planned since pretty early on. I live for stuff like that to be honest.

Anyways, that's all I have to say this round! As always, thanks for reading, and please be so kind as to leave a review if you have a moment! Until next time!

* * *

 **Phantasmal Black**

 **Chapter Six**

 **Remains**

* * *

Help, as it turned out, meant calling in one face that Hakuba had cause to know very well- and one that he didn't _quite_ know as well as the one who he had spent no small part of his late teenage years chasing after.

Kuroba Kaito and Sera Masumi.

With a smile on his lips that hinted to Hakuba that Shinichi hadn't _quite_ told them everything yet, he allowed the pair inside. The half-British detective didn't quite miss the dirty look that Sera shot towards Kaito whenever she thought he wasn't looking- he'd heard about his earlier, ah, _mishap_ with her from their teenage days, and frankly, Hakuba wasn't all that surprised that she hadn't quite forgiven him for it, allies thought they might have become over the years.

Quite frankly, he kind of wished he'd been there to see none other than the infamous Kaito Kid get kicked in the face. After all of the trouble he had caused for Hakuba, he couldn't _imagine_ how therapeutic that would have been- even if they _were_ on considerably friendlier terms.

"Sorry for calling you both out on such short notice." Shinichi told them, leading them into the living room, briefly casting one eye up towards the stairs where the library was. He was quite certain that Paikaru was listening in on them from somewhere, even if he couldn't quite pick out from where. Casting a look towards Kaito, he noticed that the phantom thief seemed to pick up on it as well, turning to look over towards Shinichi with a hint of confusion on his face.

Simply shrugging his shoulders, Shinichi invited them both to pull up a chair, before taking a seat himself. He hadn't wanted to risk discussing something like this over the phone after all, so he'd only told them both that there was some important business regarding the Black Organization that he needed to tell them about, and that they both needed to come to his place as soon as possible.

"Don't worry about it, Shinichi!" Flashing him a quick smile of her own, Sera glanced across the way towards Hakuba, turning said expression towards him. The two of them didn't really know each other all that well, but they had heard a considerable deal about the other from the friends that they had found themselves sharing. "If you called us out here like this, it must be something important, right?"

"Quite." Nodding his head, Shinichi glanced up back in the direction of the stairwell, heaving a slight sigh. Kaito's gaze was still drifting off towards one direction, and he had a hunch the one known as the Magician in the Moonlight had a better idea than he did of exactly _where_ Paikaru was listening in on them from.

"Perhaps it would be for the best to start out simply by showing you the reason why I need the two of you to swear to absolute secrecy. That means telling _no one_ what you see or hear inside of this room today." Shinichi advised them, first turning his gaze towards Sera. "Sera, that includes your brothers- _both_ of them, but _especially_ your eldest. And Kaito," he said, turning his gaze towards him. "That means not a _word_ of this to your personal accomplice."

"Jii-chan's off enjoying retirement anyways." Kaito told him, with a simple shrug. "More importantly, Shinichi, are you going to tell us who exactly is eavesdropping on us? That's one hell of an intense gaze they've got."

"I was just about to do that." Shinichi told him simply, turning his gaze back up towards the stairwell. "You heard that right?" He called out, raising his voice slightly. "You can come out, they're friends. Here to help."

"You don't need to coax me out like some kind of stray dog, Kudo-san." As his voice entered the room long before the person speaking joined it, Shinichi couldn't help but notice that once again, he'd switched back to standard Japanese- but his voice alone was enough to light a spark within Sera. Kaito noticed this, a slight frown on his lips- he'd never had the occasion to cross paths with Heiji before, so it was no surprise he wouldn't recognize his voice.

Sera, however, _knew_. Even without his telltale Osakan accent, there was no mistaking his voice.

As Paikaru himself entered into the living room, his otherwise casual posture not giving any obvious indications towards the fact that he had fully raised his guard, he cast an assessing glance towards the two newcomers. Rubbing the back of his neck as he studied them, he let a slight sigh escape from his lips, before tucking his hands inside of his pockets, tilting his head slightly to the side as he focused his gaze back on Shinichi.

"Well? Are you going to introduce them to me?"

"Heiji... kun?" Sera blinked, slowly rising to her feet, as if she couldn't believe her eyes. Without a doubt, the young man in front of them was none other than Hattori Heiji- someone who was supposed to be _dead_. The two of them had only a few chances to meet before his untimely death, but the female detective had grown rather fond of him in his own right- and news of his passing had shocked her greatly.

It had sent home a clear message about just how dangerous the business they had been involved in back then was. It was never something she, nor any of them, had missed from the beginning, but hearing that one of their own had lost their lives in pursuit of the Black Organization had deeply cemented the message within her.

"You're Heiji-kun, aren't you?" Sera asked, taking a step forward. Watching as a look of no recognition passed through his eyes, she turned towards Shinichi, her brows furrowing. "I thought he was _dead_ , Shinichi."

"So did I." Shinichi told her frankly, heaving a sigh. Nobody gathered in the room missed the hint of guilt that passed through his eyes. "Until Hakuba here contacted me yesterday evening, informing me otherwise. He's been alive and well all this time, as it turns out. He just doesn't remember _being_ Hattori Heiji."

"Then who _does_ he remember being?" It was Kaito who asked the question. He'd never once fully pulled his eyes away from Paikaru, a somewhat intense expression on his face, as if he could pick up something from him that the others couldn't. He knew from his lines of work when someone had a trick up their sleeve- but what this person had up their sleeve was no mere magic trick, but rather, something rather deadly. He couldn't help but wonder if Shinichi had noticed it or not- and decided that he _must_ have known, but for whatever reason, was overlooking it.

"The answer to that is why I brought you both here in the first place." Shinichi said, watching out of the corner of his eye as Sera gradually sat back down. Scooting over on the couch a little, he patted the spot next to him, motioning with his head that Paikaru should take a seat. When the assassin declined, instead remaining rooted where he was, his guard still fully raised, Shinichi only heave a slight sigh.

Well, this was about what he expected to happen.

"He's right. Some introductions are in order." Hakuba was the one who spoke up, briefly glancing up towards the assassin. He hadn't failed to pick up on the fact that he'd apparently managed to locate one of his guns, which was currently hidden on his person. He could only guess what other dangerous things that Paikaru had on him at the moment. Still, he didn't seem inclined to use them- given his personality, they were probably just a precaution. He'd trust Shinichi's judgement here and let it go.

"Over here to my right is Kuroba Kaito. He was a classmate of mine back in high school, and is well on his way to becoming a famous magician. He's quite skilled in slight of hand and the art of disguise. His father was the one who instructed Vermouth in the latter." Hakuba informed him, deciding not to mention the fact that he was _also_ the infamous Kaito Kid.

"Ah, that old lady." Paikaru noted, casting a glance over towards the thief- not missing the slight way that Shinichi snorted into his hand at Vermouth being so callously called an 'old lady'. "I've heard of her, though I've never met her. That old man Gin is pretty furious with her. Was always calling her a traitor."

"I'd imagine." Hakuba's tone was rather dry, as he turned over towards Sera. "This young lady on my left is Sera Masumi. Her older brother works with the FBI, and she's a splendid private detective in her own right. Her older brother once briefly infiltrated the Black Organization, in fact. She used to know you somewhat in the past, but I gather you've already realized this for yourself."

"I guessed that much, yeah." Paikaru observed, his gaze flickering over towards her. "Sorry to say, but I don't remember you at all, Sera-san."

"I've managed to gather that much for myself as well." Sera said, her expression tight. She hadn't missed the overly familiar way in which he'd referred to the one known as Gin- and that alone told her what Shinichi hadn't told them yet. "Are you are a traitor as well, Heiji-kun?"

"I guess I am." Paikaru said simply, shrugging his shoulders, letting her draw from that what conclusions she would. "And frankly, I would appreciate it if you _didn't_ call me by that name. Like Kudo-san over there has said, I don't have memories of that name. Just calling me by my codename is fine."

"I see." Heaving a slight sigh, Sera turned her attention towards Shinichi. "I'm beginning to understand why you had us all vow ourselves to secrecy, Shinichi. It's true that if Shuu-nii found about this, there would probably be trouble, as much as he owes you."

"I'm glad that you understand." Shinichi told her, giving her something of a strained smile. "You both have probably heard that Hakuba here has spent months tracking a Black Organization assassin by the codename of Paikaru. On the off chance that the two of you haven't figured it out already, Paikaru and Hattori are one and the same."

"Pleased to meet you the two of you." Paikaru said simply, finally removing his hands from his pockets, folding them in front of his chest, her guard relaxing slightly, though still not enough so that he slipped back into his native accent. "Like Kudo-san said, I'm a member of _that_ Organization, but well," a hint of a smile crossed his face, as a slight laugh escaped from his lips. "It's more like I was tricked into becoming a member. Like he said as well, I don't remember anything prior to five years ago, so let's get that out of the way right away."

"Well, even if I was tricked into joining that Organization in the first place, the fact remains that I _am_ one of them." With a simple shrug of his shoulders, he glanced between the two newcomers, silently gauging their reactions. "Make of that what you will, I guess. Whatever the case is, I'm interested in leaving them now, so I approached Kudo-san here in regards to that. Well," he snorted a little again, shaking his head. "I admit, I was pretty surprised by what he ended up telling me. Who would have ever thought that someone like me could have ever been something like a detective? Hilarious, right?"

There was a thick tension in the air, so heavy that it was almost palpable. It was Kaito who broke it in the end, deciding that he'd had enough of it. Perhaps it was because he was the only one of them who had never known the western high school detective in the past, but he didn't seem to be sharing any of the same sentiments as the other three- all he saw in front of him was a member of the Black Organization that was willing to sell his fellow members out- and he didn't doubt that he was telling the truth about that, at the very least. The fact that Shinichi had decided to trust him was more than enough for him, considering that the detective had gone out of his way to help him with his _own_ shady Organization.

"Well, like Hakuba over there said earlier, I'm Kuroba Kaito." Rising to his feet, he approached the assassin, something which took him slightly by surprise. Offering him his hand with an easy grin on his face, he effortlessly slid his poker face into place. "Unlike the three of them, I never had a chance to meet Hattori-kun in the past, so I suppose this really _is_ our first time meeting. It's nice to meet you, Paikaru!"

"Ah." Blinking slightly, glancing down at his hand with a look of brief confusion, Paikaru slowly reached out to take it, giving it a quick shake. "It's nice ta meet ya as well, Kuroba-han."

"Osaka-ben, huh?" Kaito observed, his grin only growing as Paikaru seemed to realize with a start that he'd briefly fallen back into it, all but snatching his hands away from the man. "There's no reason to hide it, Paikaru. If you're more comfortable speaking that way, none of us here would have a problem with it."

Narrowing his eyes slightly, uncertain of what to make of the young man that stood before him, Paikaru could feel his guard instinctively raise back up. This one wasn't like the other three- he wasn't a detective, that much he could tell. But as for _what_ he was, he honestly wasn't quite sure- but it was enough for him to be wary.

"The two of you might as well sit down. We have a lot of things to discuss." Shinichi noted, glancing between them. There was something vaguely interesting about watching the interaction between the phantom thief and the assassin, both of them criminals in their own right- although the scale of their crimes couldn't be more different. "We've got two days at the very least to prepare for Merlot and Gin's arrival, and we had better use every second that we've got. The Organization might not have the reach it had before, but that doesn't make it any less dangerous."

"Of course, Shinichi!" Kaito said, his tone light as he turned on his heel, returning to his seat.

Paikaru watched Kaito warily for a moment longer, before he finally took the seat that had been offered to him before, folding his arms in front of his chest and placing his feet up on the coffee table, not even attempting to mask his intense expression now, casting it back and forth between Sera and Kaito. Briefly, those gathered thought that even _they_ could almost catch a hint of the aura that Ai claimed lingered around members of the Organization.

"They're coming here? Gin and Merlot?" Sera asked, tearing her eyes away from the dark skinned young man. It felt more as if she was dealing with some strange doppelganger rather than the real Hattori Heiji, and she could only imagine how Shinichi was holding up in this situation- better than she would have expected him to, judging from the look on his face, his relaxed posture a stark contrast to the far more tense assassin sitting next to him.

"Yeah." Nodding his head, Shinichi's eyes narrowed. "There's no mistake. Merlot will definitely come, at the very least. Gin's still somewhat up in the air at the moment, but I've got a feeling that he'll show up before long as well. If he realizes Merlot is searching for Paikaru, then there's no way he wouldn't come to Tokyo himself." Sparing a glance towards the Black Organization member in question, Shinichi gave him a slight frown. "Do you think Gin is aware of who you were?"

"It sure would explain a lot." Paikaru noted, giving it a moment of thought. "Especially during the first year that I was brought there, he wouldn't stop asking me about someone named Sherry." He didn't fail to notice the way Shinichi's eyes narrowed further at the mention of that name, but didn't remark upon it. "He always seemed to have doubts about me at first, which I guess makes perfect sense knowing what I do now. Eventually they seemed to pass, I guess once he realized I wasn't going to suddenly regain my memories."

He'd made a slight omission there- it had actually been right after he'd completely his first mission. But he felt it best not to mention that.

"After that he became real invested in me in a _real_ creepy way." Paikaru noted, a slight frown gracing his features as he recalled this. "He was always pretty interested in how my skills were developing. Well, now that I think about it knowing what I know now, he might have one day wanted to send me to kill _you_ , Kudo-san."

"That definitely sounds like something he would do." Shinichi noted, a grim expression on his face, unable to help but dwell on how that scenario would have turned out. How would he have reacted if the person sent by the Black Organization to kill him had turned out to be none other than an ally he'd once trusted with his life? In a few years time, it was very possible that Paikaru might have developed into someone who could very much pull that off with very little remorse- it was a good thing that they had caught him when they did.

Still, it should have happened much, much earlier.

He couldn't help but wonder how the Heiji of his memories would deal with the knowledge that he'd become a murderer. Even if his memories did return to him one day, it wasn't as if that fact would disappear.

"So we've got Gin and Merlot then, huh?" Kaito asked, letting out a low whistle. "The new head of the Organization and it's finest assassin. You sure don't like making these things easy, Shinichi. Are you sure this Merlot's going to come looking for him though?"

"Of course she will." Paikaru grumbled, a look of clear irritation spreading across his face. "I'm her _favorite_."

Briefly, those gathered couldn't help but wonder what kind of weight those words carried behind them. They brought with them a trace of the white hot anger that had once burned inside of Heiji, a brief spark within the otherwise cold anger that lingered within Paikaru- an anger that never really seemed fully doused.

"The target of Paikaru's mission here this time was Takagi Miwako." Shinichi informed them. "It wasn't a job that came through the Organization itself, but rather an outside request. Of course, she's still alive. The main problem will begin when Merlot realizes this, and realizes that it must mean that something has gone wrong. Without a doubt, she'll arrive to look into the matter, and without a doubt, she'll remember that I live in this city, and will swiftly begin looking into _me_."

"So?" Sera asked, a hint of a grin dancing on her face, as she cast her eyes over towards Shinichi. "If you called the three of us here, I'm assuming you have some kind of plan, Shinichi. Let's hear it."

* * *

"Don't ya have school tomorrow, little Neechan?"

Not glancing up from the novel that he had engrossed himself in, Paikaru merely turned a page, not needing to look up to sense that someone else had entered his room. Judging from the sound of their footsteps, the only person they could have belonged to was the middle school student known as Haibara Ai, the strangely intelligent girl who had been in charge of giving him a full medical exam earlier in the day.

"I noticed a light was still on." Ai said, her eyes narrowing. She lingered in the doorway, the intense black aura that crept around Paikaru more than enough to prevent her from taking a step forward. "And I thought that might mean you would still be awake, Paikaru."

"I see." Paikaru said simply, briefly sparing her a glance this time. She did well to mask it, but he could still pick out the trace of apprehension, a hint of fear in her expression. Closing the novel and setting it aside, he carefully rose to his feet, tucking his hands in his pockets as he gave her his full attention, sensing that there was something that she wanted to say. "Why don't ya come in, Haibara-han?"

"I'd rather not." Ai said simply, schooling her voice into a cold, indifferent tone.

"Suit yerself." Paikaru said simply, shrugging his shoulders.

The discussion earlier had run long into the night, well after the trains stopped running. Not wanting to put the three he had called here out, Shinichi had invited them to spend the night- there was no shortage of space in his house. Paikaru got the distinct feeling that the real reason behind it was that he simply wasn't ready to be left alone with him just yet- just as he had suspected, in spite of his words earlier, in spite of his relaxed, easy attitude towards him, there was still some suspicion left that lingered within the detective.

Well, it wasn't like he could blame him.

This girl, on the other hand, didn't even _attempt_ to mask her suspicion. And that, among other things, were what caught his attention.

"Do you _truly_ intend to leave the Organization behind you?" Ai asked finally, her eyes narrowing slightly. "You accepted the truth Kudo-kun told you rather easily."

"Because it _is_ the truth." Paikaru said simply, shrugging his shoulders. "Somethin' which I'm grateful ta finally know." Casting her a slight smile, one of those placid, business-like ones, he took a step forward, watching as Ai tensed, warily gauging his every action. "It almost like ya sense somethin' from me, Haibara-han. Am I really that scary?"

"Members of the Organization give off a certain aura." Ai said after a moment, keeping her tone as neutral as possible. "Yours is rather intense."

"Well, I am an assassin." He said lightly, letting out a small laugh. "That really comes as no surprise. But what I'm curious about, little Neechan," he began, switching again to the casual nickname that was strangely familiar on his lips, "...is you. I thought it was strange that Kudo-han was bringin' a middle school student of all people into this, but ya've got some kind of connection ta all of this, don't ya? A deep one. Rather, I think you an' me aren't really all that different."

"The one that old man's been lookin' fer all this time- she's you, right? Yer Sherry." Paikaru asked, a slightly satisfied smirk appearing on his face as that got the slightest hint of a reaction from the young girl. "Well, don't worry yer pretty little head about it, Haibara-han. Ya asked earlier if my intentions of leaving the Organization were genuine. Of course they are."

"I see you really _haven't_ lost Hattori-kun's deductive skills." Ai noted simply, letting out a breath that she had been holding. "Nobody told him anything either, but he figured it out all on his own. I don't think he ever mentioned to Kudo-kun that he knew who I was, though."

"Well, we _are_ the same person, technically speakin'." Paikaru gave another shrug of his shoulders. "Even if I don't remember anythin' about him at all. So?" Tilting his head to the side, he cast a curious look towards her. "I don't think askin' me about this sort of thing was the _only_ reason ya came over here in the middle of the night, when everyone else was already asleep. What is it that ya really want ta ask me?"

There was a moment of silence, before Ai broke it, heaving a slight sigh. "It's not that I wanted to ask you anything. I only wanted to apologize."

That took the amnesiac assassin by surprise, a look of confusion crossing his face. "Apologize? Fer what? I don't think ya've done anythin' wrong, little Neechan. Rather, I am grateful to ya, ya know. Ya don't know how long I spent tryin' to get that restraint off of my wrist myself."

"I'm not quite apologizing to you." Ai said sharply, gathering up her courage, she locked eyes with him. "The one I want to apologize to is Hattori-kun."

"Ah." Paikaru said simply, rubbing the back of his neck. "Unfortunately, he's not quite here right now. But maybe I can take a message fer him."

"I suppose that will have to do." Her tone somewhat softening as she allowed her expression to finally show some form of emotion, vivid regret blooming in her eyes. "In a sense, it's my fault that you came into existence in the first place, Paikaru, so I suppose it has something to do with you as well. You're right, though. The two of us really aren't that different. I used to be a member of _that_ Organization as well. And I betrayed it as well."

"Oh?" Paikaru asked, quirking a brow. "Yer pretty young, all things considered."

"I suppose you wouldn't remember the reason why." There was a hint of laughter that managed to work it's way past her lips. "Nor am I inclined to tell you myself. But suffice to say, that it was essentially because of me that Kudo-kun got himself involved with the Organization in the first place. And it was because of him that Hattori-kun ended up involved. So I really must apologize to him- or what remains of him, I suppose."

"Ya don't have ta apologize fer somethin' like that." Paikaru said after a moment, finally averting his gaze from her. Honestly, he didn't quite know what to make of her words. He was dealing with all sorts of difficult people lately, and it was making him realize that he was extremely _lacking_ in experience when it came to normal social situations.

If there was one thing that had become crystal clear to him, it was that although he might have once existed within the same world as these people, he no longer lived in it with them. He had become part of a different world- had become a different person from the one that existed within their memories, and frankly, he wasn't certain if he could go back- if there really was anything of Hattori Heiji to return to them.

"I am what I am. There's no changin' that now. There's only one person ta blame fer my existence, an' that's _Merlot_. Ya got nothin' ta do with it." Paikaru finished, turning back to look at her. "'Sides, as long as I'm alive, I might one day remember who it is that I'm supposed ta be."

"And if you don't?" Ai asked finally, her expression once more drawing tight. "What then? Can you pick up the life that Hattori-kun left behind him? Will you try to become someone that you're not?"

That was the question, wasn't it?

"I can try." Paikaru said simply. "Who knows? Maybe I'd eventually get used ta it. I'm just a fragment of him ta begin with, so maybe over time, I'd forget myself and be able to become Hattori Heiji once again, memories or no memories. The real question would be that if those he left behind would even want _me_ in the first place."

"They would." Ai said after a moment, unable to find any real basis for the gut feeling that rose up inside of her. "I think they would."

"Really?" Paikaru frowned, honestly sounding more than a little doubtful. "Well, ya'd probably know better than me. I've never met them, after all."

* * *

"Were you able to talk with him?"

Ai didn't start at the sound of Shinichi's voice, having long since suspected that he was still awake. Heaving a slight sigh, she came to join him in the kitchen, where he slid her a cup of coffee. Taking it gratefully, knowing that it was unlikely she was going to get any sleep tonight, Ai sat down next to him, casting a look in his direction. "I did."

"That's good." Shinichi said, taking a sip of his own coffee. "The two of you should probably try and get along. You're the only one of us who knows what it's like to be trapped in that Organization."

"I suppose that's true." Ai observed, taking a sip of her coffee, letting out a long breath. Paikaru had been right- in that regard, the two of them were very alike. It shouldn't have been that way, though. "I imagine I'll eventually get used to him. Perhaps his aura will wane over time."

"Is it really that bad?" Shinichi asked, a brief frown appearing on his face. He couldn't sense what Ai did, after all. He might have been fighting the Organization for the past five years, but the girl sitting next to him knew it in a way that he never would. She had lived inside of it after all, and even though there were no shackles that bound her, no chains that kept her in place, she was trapped there, unable to move.

What became her avenue of escape was originally intended to be an agent of her death.

"It's quite... intense." She spoke with a great deal of consideration, carefully setting down her coffee cup. "I can't imagine it will ever disappear."

Burying himself within his cup of coffee, taking a long draught of it to cover up what otherwise would be a deep silence, Shinichi closed his eyes. As much as he tried to put a good face on, the fact remained that he was still reeling from the revelations the past two days had brought him, leaving him unable to sleep.

There was no small deal of relief and happiness that his best friend was in fact _alive_ \- that he hadn't died a lonely, horrible death in the ocean, his body eternally lost to the waves. That Shinichi didn't have to bear the guilt of letting his most trusted ally die, powerless to stop it, the hands he had back then too small to keep hold of him, his arms too weak to prevent him from slipping away. That he would no longer have to look at the somber faces of his parents and think that their son's blood was on his hands, that this was his fault, all his fault.

But there was still guilt that remained.

He had searched through just about every hospital in Japan, but he still hadn't found a trace of Heiji. He should have dug deeper, he should have started to looking into underground clinics and underground doctors, exploiting every resource that he had in his pursuit of him, to catch a trace of him. If he'd done that, maybe he could have rescued him from his fate long before he was ever forced to take his first life, an act which could no longer be taken back by anyone. There weren't enough pretty words in the world to deny the truth, to change the facts.

There was too much blood on those hands now. That much had become crystal clear to Shinichi today. It was in the way that he had cooly observed the dismembered corpse that afternoon, casting not the gaze of a detective over it, but a killer assessing a fellow killer's work- and of all things, becoming _disappointed_ with it. Something fundamental to him had been changed, it's direction shifted, and frankly, he had no idea if regaining his memories would turn it back, returning him to the hotblooded detective that he once was.

Either way, Heiji would probably suffer. There was no way he wouldn't.

And yet, at the same time- Shinichi felt that there was hope. Not just for the return of his memories, but for something of a redemption for the shell that was left behind. No, calling Paikaru a shell was somewhat rude, Shinichi thought- he'd very much developed his own personality- he wasn't just an empty husk, a hollow puppet carrying orders. It was that very personality that gave Shinichi hope in the first place- to bring out the good things that remained in him, to gradually expose him to the life of a normal person, and see what would result from that.

Perhaps he couldn't turn Paikaru into Hattori Heiji, but at the very least, he could make him a proper human.

"Do you distrust him?" Shinichi asked finally, gaze falling on the small girl by his side. He knew full well that she was a year older than him, however her appearance might indicate otherwise. He always understood Ai's reasons for not taking the antidote in the end. There had been nothing for her to go back to.

It took her a moment to answer, but she finally managed to, having to dwell over her words. "I wouldn't go that far." Ai said simply, shaking her head. "I am still somewhat wary of him, but I suppose you were no different when it came to me, all those years ago."

"I can't deny that." Shinichi admitted, giving her a small smile. "I think he's doing his best, in his own way. I can't even find it in me to resent him, as much as I feel I _should_ , in some way." He confessed, scratching his head. "I wish he wouldn't look at me that way when I try to use his real name, though. I don't like having to call Hattori by one of _their_ codenames."

"It's the only name he's known for five years." Ai observed, picking up her coffee cup, lingering over it somewhat. "Didn't it take you quite some time to get used to being called Conan? Give him time."

"I know that." Shinichi said simply, letting out a frustrated sigh. "Given that the alternative to all of this was Hattori outright betraying all of us, I guess memory loss isn't bad."

Finally taking a sip of her coffee, Ai cast an assessing gaze over towards the detective by her side. "Do you intend to contact his parents? His mother has been waiting for him to come home all this time. I'm sure she'd be thrilled to learn that she was right all this time."

"I don't know. Not until everything with the Organization is finished for good." Shinichi said, rubbing the back of his head. "I don't know what I'd tell them though. His mother... she might accept it, but I don't know about his father. I don't want to destroy what relationship they might be able to build again together by telling them their son is _Black Org_."

"Tell them he's lost his memory." Ai said simply, shrugging her shoulders. "And let Paikaru figure out on his own what he wants to do. He's lucky to have parents to go back to."

"I suppose that's true." Shinichi noted, leaning back in his chair. "It's all gotten so much more complicated somehow, Haibara. I remember dealing with the Organization being easier in the past."

"You weren't trying to hide a wanted supposedly dead amnesiac assassin in your house the last time." Ai noted. "Just a supposedly dead FBI agent."

"Talk about your turnarounds." Shinichi snorted, shaking his head. "In the end, I suppose there's nothing we can do but take this chance. I promise you, Haibara, I _won't_ let Gin slip away this time. Once he's in jail for good, you can finally live as openly as you want. Take up the Professor's offer of formal adoption, maybe."

"I suppose that I could." Ai said, a note of tenderness slipping into her voice. He'd proposed it to her four years ago- his desire to make her an official member of his family, via adoption. There would have to be some fudging of paperwork, but it was more than possible. Still, she'd turned him down, too worried that sharing his last name might allow those still searching for Sherry to quickly link her to him. "It might be nice. Even if I _will_ be turning twenty-three soon."

"How time flies." Shinichi noted, biting back a million other quips that he knew would earn him a swift quick to the shins. "We've all grown up before I was even aware of it. Well," he paused, glancing over at Ai, giving her a cheeky grin. "...except for you."

That _did_ earn him a kick to the shins- but it had _totally_ been worth it.

* * *

On some level, Paikaru was perfectly aware that this was only a dream.

After all, there was no other explanation for _him_ being here.

He wasn't real, Paikaru thought as he stared at him, not needing to see his features to know that he wore his own face, just five years younger. A figment of his imagination dreamed up by his subconscious, a way of dealing with the things he'd learned today. The clothes that he wore had been pulled straight from one of the photographs that he had seen today, right down to the baseball cap with a logo on it that tugged at some small fragment of memory, to no avail, one which obscured his face from view. There were no Lichtenberg scars that traced up his left arm, crackling outwards like bolts of lightning, only one, single scar on his left hand that Paikaru had no memory of how he'd gotten in the first place.

He was the high school detective of the west, Kudo Shinichi's rival, best friend, and trusted ally. He was the person he used to be, that he could no longer remember. The person that he couldn't help but be strangely jealous of as he looked through the photo album, wondering how it was that he managed to smile like that, wondering how it was that he drew so many people towards him. A child who was probably the pride and joy of parents that he could no longer remember, a detective who was determined to never let a culprit get away on his watch- someone with a normal life, a normal family, and a real name.

Hattori Heiji.

"I finally manage to fall asleep, and this is the sort of dream that I end up seeing." Paikaru observed, heaving a long sigh. "Well, that figures."

"Yer the one that's dreamin' me up in the first place, so don't complain, idiot."

"Oh, it speaks. And is self aware." Paikaru noted, a curious look crossing his face. It was his own voice, only five years younger. "I feel like I should be worried about this development."

"Would ya rather I just wordlessly stare at ya until ya wake up?" The detective asked, folding his arms in front of his chest. "That can be arranged. I'm a fragment of yer subconscious, after all."

"No, I'd rather not deal with that." The assassin said quickly, holding up a hand. "I get enough condemnation for just existing from Hakuba-san while I'm awake as it is, I think he's doing just fine making up for the both of you."

"That guy never liked me ta begin with, an' now that ya've gone an' got blood all over our hands, he likes us even less." The detective observed, glancing pointedly at Paikaru's hands.

Glancing down at them, he noted that they were indeed stained with blood, a vivid red against the black clothes that he wore. "A nice visual touch." The assassin noted simply, before tucking them away in his pockets, turning to look back towards the detective. "In the end, you're only parroting information that I've already learned."

"It can't be helped. It's not like I remember anythin' either." The detective merely shrugged. "I'm here because ya expect me ta be here. Because god knows we've got issues ta work through."

"Many." The assassin nodded in agreement, unable to find an argument against that. "Do you hate me, Hattori?"

"At the moment, I really despise ya, Paikaru." Came the easy reply, and he could feel but not see the detective's eyes narrowing underneath his cap. "How could I not? Ya became the very thing that I was helpin' Kudo fight against, an' ya somehow managed ta make it _worse_. How did I end up bein' a murderer? What a huge failure. I'm amazed Kudo even wants anythin' ta do with us."

"You have a pretty cheeky way of talking to your elders, but frankly, I can't really say that I don't agree with you." The assassin merely shrugged his shoulders. "But at the very least, I'll fulfill my promise to him. It would be a weight off my shoulders if the Organization were gone. I could leave my life freely. Or _your_ life, I suppose, depending on how things go."

"Ya don't have any right to." The detective's voice was cutting, a glower cast towards him from underneath the shade of his baseball cap. "Ya haven't earned the right ta so much as use my name, Paikaru."

"For a figment of my imagination, you're pretty disagreeable, aren't you?"

"That's because ya hate yerself in the first place, idiot. Don't blame me fer yer own feelings."

"You've certainly got a point." The assassin admitted, putting a hand to his chin. "Well, I am pretty horrible, so it's to be expected."

Well, even so, he couldn't help but want to try and live up to Shinichi's expectations of him- even if he thought such a thing were impossible. Maybe if his memories came back, but as he was now... there was no way.

If they didn't, perhaps the best thing he could do for everyone who had known him was to simply disappear back into the ether. Leaving them with their memories untainted would probably be the kindest thing he could do.


	7. Storm

AN: And here's chapter seven, hot of the presses and ready to go! Otherwise, I don't have that much to say this time other than please enjoy the chapter, and don't forget to kindly leave a review on your way out!

* * *

 **Phantasmal Black**

 **Chapter Seven**

 **Storm**

* * *

It was the bitter smell of coffee that roused the residents of the Kudo manor that morning.

"What," Hakuba began, his words somewhat muffled due to the hand he'd placed over his nose, in a vain attempt to block the overpoweringly bitter smell. "...is _that_?"

"Coffee?" Paikaru simply blinked, glancing up at the half-British detective in mild confusion. "What the hell else would it be, Blondie?"

"I've never smelled coffee that was quite so powerful before." Sera admitted, the smell causing her to grimace, though thankfully she didn't appear to be as adverse to it as Hakuba was. "I could smell it all the way from my room."

Shinichi had to admit, he didn't exactly expect to find the (now former) Black Organization assassin in his kitchen bright and early that morning, brewing up a pot of coffee that seemed to produce a scent that wafted throughout the entire house, but that was exactly the situation that he found himself in now. If anything, he'd actually half expected yesterday's events to turn out to be some kind of surreal dream upon waking- but it appeared as if they were very much a reality.

It was only seven in the morning, and yet Paikaru was wide awake, already completely dressed, and looked like he had been for some time now. He should have known that he would have kept Heiji's ability to wake up _insufferably early_.

"That's cause ya've probably only ever drank baby coffee before." Paikaru told her, flashing her a broad grin, allowing his Osakan accent to shine through. "This is the real good stuff. Ya want some? I've got enough ta go around."

"No thanks." Kaito said quickly, holding up a hand. "I'm pretty sure it wouldn't agree with me. And it'd probably outright _kill_ Hakuba."

"I'm going to be sick." Hakuba muttered, slowly taking a few steps backwards, trying to distance himself from that overpowering bitter scent. "How can you _drink_ that, Paikaru?"

"It's good." Paikaru blinked simply, taking a sip of the almost pitch black coffee without so much as changing expression- the same of which couldn't be said for the others. "I don't see what yer all complainin' about."

"Well, I'll take a cup." Shinichi said finally, watching as Kaito immediately decided he'd lost his mind, and rolled his eyes as the phantom thief clasped his hands together, muttering a prayer underneath his breath. "I didn't sleep much last night, I need something to tide me over if I'm going to be forced to wake up at seven in the morning."

"S'not even that early." Paikaru observed, quirking a brow. Nevertheless, he complied, pouring Shinichi a cup and shoving it in his direction, watching as the detective took a seat at the kitchen table. Hakuba, he'd noticed out of the corner of his eye, had already long since left, probably wanting to get as far away from the smell of coffee as he could. "Here ya go. Drink up, Kudo-han."

"Thank you, Paikaru." Shinichi said, giving him a small smile as he picked up the cup. The urge to use the assassin's real name was right there on his lips- but today again, he fought against it, wanting to respect his wishes. If using Heiji's name made him uncomfortable, then he wouldn't do it, until the day came that he was at ease with that name once more. He hoped it would be soon, frankly, because he didn't enjoy the verbal reminder of how utterly he'd failed Heiji every time the codename left his lips.

And those were some dreadfully awful things to be thinking about first thing in the morning, Shinichi dimly thought. In all of his wild fantasies in which Heiji turned out to still be alive, never _once_ were they accompanied by any other emotion than pure joy- of course, in said fantasies, amnesia had never been involved, nor had the Osakan detective wound up joining the Black Organization in any of them.

Even so, there was still joy, even now, even if it was accompanied by uncertainty- uncertain feelings and an uncertain future alike.

One sip of that pitch black coffee was all it took to wake Shinichi right up, and he found himself slamming the cup back down on the table, his eyes flying wide open. He was almost entirely certain his heart had very briefly stopped beating entirely. " _Holy shit_ , Hattori." He blurted out, momentarily losing control of well- many things, really. From the corner of his eye, he watched the scarred young man let out a loud snort, apparently allowing the use of the unfamiliar name just this once. "That's _strong_. I'm going to be awake for _days_."

"Are ya sure the two of ya don't want any too?" Paikaru asked, glancing over towards Sera and Kaito, a hint of a grin crossing his face, a shadow of his original self within it. He'd grown more at ease with the pair it seemed- perhaps spending the night underneath the same roof without either of them trying to do anything he regarded as suspicious had allowed them some measure of trust.

His guard was still raised, Shinichi noted- but then again, he was almost entirely certain that Paikaru never quite fully dropped it. It had probably been trained into him, and was something that he couldn't shake. Even now, he was seated so that nobody could get to his back, and while he wasn't carrying the gun from yesterday, Shinichi didn't doubt he had any number of other dangerous things on him. Perhaps they calmed him, he thought to himself, making the massive mistake of taking another sip of the coffee, briefly feeling as if he could see into infinity.

"Pass." Sera said quickly, giving him a small smile, carefully sliding some cream and sugar Shinichi's way, which the detective quickly thanked her for. "I'll make my own coffee, with all due respect, He-" She began, before catching herself, watching that subtle shift in his expression. "Paikaru."

"Suit yerself. Yer missin' out though, Sera-han." Paikaru said with a simple shrug, taking another quick sip of his coffee, watching as Shinichi poured so much cream into his own mug, it very nearly overflowed. Seriously, they didn't know a good thing when it hit them.

Well, he probably _shouldn't_ mention that he was brewing it the way that Merlot had taught him. The feelings of betrayal that he had towards her ran deep- all the more so now that he knew exactly the depth of it, but even he wasn't about to deny that not everything he felt for that woman was hate and anger. That was the problem, really- even if he was fully conscious that her kind words and the motherly affection that she'd cast in the direction of the amnesiac young man were all carefully calculated, said and done for the sole purpose of manipulating him, for making him into a tool, he couldn't deny that there were times when he hadn't felt the way that he did about her now, thinking of her with something akin to fondness.

After all, she _had_ told him that she had been the one raising him ever since he was a baby, having taken him in when no one else would- and he'd _believed_ her, for a time. Even when he'd begun to suspect that something was wrong, that something wasn't right here, he was hesitant to think that she could have possibly lied to him. She was the only link he had to a past that he could no longer remember- or so he'd thought, at any rate.

She was the only person in the world who would ever show him any kindness- or so he'd thought, at any rate.

As it turned out, there were plenty of people in this world who were willing to show Hattori Heiji kindness- and some of those people were even willing to spare a bit of that for the one who had inadvertently been created in his place. And quite frankly? He was grateful for it, even if he didn't feel like he deserved it, and even if he didn't know what to do with it.

Last night's dream still lingered fresh in his mind, giving him a silent warning to not get ahead of himself. These people, though they tolerated his existence, some more than others, were Hattori Heiji's friends, not his own. And they were all still very much waiting for him to come back to them, something on which he couldn't deliver, at least not yet.

He wondered if Heiji was half as introspective as himself. Judging from the photographs and what he'd been told, he kind of doubted it.

"Do you own any clothes that _aren't_ black?" It was Kaito's question that broke Paikaru out of his thoughts, and lead him to cast an eye downwards to his own clothes- of which yes, the primary color was black.

"That's a stupid question, Kuroba-han." Paikaru noted, quirking a brow.

"I'm just saying, you should consider putting some more color in your wardrobe. A little more flash and dazzle, mayhap." Kaito told him, and with a snap of his fingers, a brilliantly red rose blossomed between them. "Put your days with the men in black behind you even in manner of dress."

"Is he _always_ like this?" Paikaru asked, casting a dry look back towards Shinichi.

"Unfortunately." Shinichi noted simply, watching as a mock look of hurt crossed Kaito's face. "You just sort of learn to live with him after awhile."

"I can't believe that after everything we've been through together _tantei-kun_ , you would say such things to me." Kaito told him, placing his hands over his heart, looking almost as if he were about to cry- which nobody bought, even for a second. "And so cold, former _tantei-han_! We've only just met, and you're already treating me with such harshness!"

"Kuroba-kun, it's too early in the morning for theatrics." Sera noted, casting him something of an icy look, one that visibly caused Kaito to flinch- it was obvious to him that she _still_ hadn't forgiven him fully for the events of that one heist. The fact that they so rarely got chances to speak in spite of being on the same side did not help matters. "Why don't you take your magic show on the road before your little bride gets worried about you?"

"Aoko probably hasn't even noticed I'm gone yet." Kaito said with a shrug. "Rather, I think she's used to me sometimes just not being around the house, if anything."

"What, Kuroba-han's _married_?" Paikaru asked, blinking a little as he glanced up towards him. "That's unexpected. I can't imagine any woman wantin' ta put up with him fer very long."

"They're childhood friends." Shinichi noted, finally daring to take a sip of his coffee again, noting with relief that the addition of the cream had managed to tame it somewhat. "They've had plenty of time to get used to each other."

"Childhood friends, huh?" Paikaru blinked, a slight frown gracing his features, not failing to notice the way that Shinichi's eyes flickered over in his direction. He _still_ thought the idea that he could possibly be in love with his own- someone who he _didn't even remember_ \- was absurd. Maybe he had been in the past, but it wasn't like he possessed those memories that would have made him fall for her in the first place, and he'd hadn't even so much as _met_ Toyama Kazuha yet- he'd only briefly heard her voice over the phone.

So there was no way he could be in love with her.

Even if that _would_ explain why he'd spared that girl's life. It was laughable really- that after all of this time, he'd finally found someone that he couldn't bring himself to kill, hesitation filling his heart as looked down at that trembling girl, watching as her ponytail twitched each time that she trembled, knowledge of her impending death dancing through her eyes. He thought he'd grown used to killing people at this point, that it had become a second nature to him, any doubts and hesitations he might have had in regards to taking human life in the beginning having vanished without a trace- and yet he still found himself telling that girl in harsh whispers to hide herself, and to absolutely not come out until she was certain that it was the police who were in her house, and no one else.

He wasn't an idiot, of course. Paikaru realized now that that girl bore a strong resemblance to the Toyama Kazuha that he would have known before. Likewise, he realized that this was likely related to why he'd been sent back to Japan in the first place- this mission was likely some kind of test- one that he'd failed. Shinichi knew as much as well, even if he didn't say anything to him out loud.

It was _also_ why he was _certain_ that Merlot would come for him. She didn't have any interest in losing the one that had wound up becoming her favorite pupil, her perfect student, the one that she earnestly and openly praised as her most beloved assassin.

Gaze trailing back towards Shinichi, he caught it lingering on him. Though their eye contact was brief, he could clearly see the guilt that haunted those eyes, the blame that the detective put on himself. It was hard for Paikaru to meet those eyes, and yet they also filled him with the strangest desire to do whatever it was that he could to lift some of that guilt from them, to take away some of that burden.

And the only way he could do that, he thought, was to bring back Hattori Heiji.

If only it were that simple.

* * *

If there was one thing that Kazuha and Heiji had in common, it was their shared habit of showing up out of the blue. Back in the past, Ran had always just thought that she'd assumed Heiji had already called ahead, and that it was never Kazuha's intention to show up without warning- but as time passed after the Osakan duo had been reduced down to just one person, it became very clear to her that no, this was just one of the many things that they had in common.

Which was why she wasn't nearly as surprised as she should be when Toyama Kazuha showed up on her doorstep bright and early that morning, an overnight bag slung over one shoulder, and a motorcycle helmet tucked underneath the other, wearing a smile on her face that would have rivaled any of Heiji's.

"Good mornin', Ran!" Kazuha beamed. "I hope I didn't wake ya up!"

"No, I've been awake for awhile now, Kazuha. Please, come in." Ran told her, giving her a quick grin, stepping aside to allow her into her apartment. She had bought one of her own when she'd entered college- or rather, her father had surprised her with one of her own, saying that he thought she would probably like to have her own space now that she was an adult. It wasn't very big, a rather modest apartment, but it suited her needs.

Once she married Shinichi, of course, she would be moving from this small, yet charming little apartment into that big mansion of his, and at that point, she was quite certain she would have no idea what to do with all of that space. Quite frankly, she didn't know how Shinichi could live there mostly by himself, and _not_ get lonely.

But then, she'd always been used to smaller spaces than him.

"Have you had anything to eat yet?" Ran asked, glancing back at her. "I was just getting ready to make some breakfast for myself, so if there's anything that you want..."

"Ah, no, it's okay." Kazuha shook her head, setting aside her helmet on the nearest out of the way table, and placing her overnight bag next to it. "I already ate before I came here. I don't want ta impose on ya too much, showin' up so suddenly as I already am."

Well, if there was _one_ difference between the ways that Heiji and Kazuha showed up out of the blue, it was that Kazuha was considerably less brazen about it, Ran thought to herself, pouring a cup of tea for he guest nevertheless. It had only been for a short while, now that she thought about it, but whenever Heiji had entered her life, he'd done it pretty much without any regard for anything that she might have had going on at the time- or any regard to what Shinichi- or rather, _Conan_ , at the time, might have planned.

That was just the way he was, Ran thought to herself as she took a seat at the table next to Kazuha. He'd always blown in like a storm, without warning.

In the end, he'd left like one too.

That thought, Ran thought to herself, was a bit to somber for so early in the morning.

"I need yer help, Ran." Kazuha spoke up, setting aside her tea for the moment. "Hakuba-san's keepin' somethin' from me."

"Him too, huh?" Ran observed, her brows raising. Somehow she had a feeling that Kazuha's sudden appearance in Tokyo had something to do with whatever Shinichi and Hakuba were up to behind her back- and it seemed as if she was right on the mark. "Shinichi's the same, and after all this time. Isn't that unbelievable?"

"Ya should tell him yer gonna reconsider marryin' his sorry butt if he doesn't tell ya things properly." Kazuha noted. "But I thought so! I had a feelin' that those two were workin' on somethin' together behind my back, an' it looks like I'm right on the mark. Honestly, who does that jerk think I am, tryin' ta leave me out of the investigation when it really counts the most? First he goes globe trotting after Paikaru without warnin' me, an' now he's actin' all mysterious and tellin' me lies. I'll have the both of 'em know that I could kick both of their sorry butts, and that they had better stop tryin' ta leave me out of stuff."

"Ai-chan knows _something_ , but she told me that Shinichi specifically forbade her to say anything to me. I'd imagine that the same goes for you as well." Ran said with a slight sigh, lightly pushing away a jar of blueberry jam with one finger. "But she _did_ tell me that it was related to Paikaru, though."

There had been _something_ about her expression as she said so that Ran really didn't like, but she didn't quite know what it meant. Perhaps that was regret, she thought to herself, as she dwelt on it for a moment.

"So Hakuba-san did make contact somehow." Kazuha frowned, folding her arms in front of her chest. "But why not tell me? I've been helpin' him chase those two fer so long, why leave me out all of a sudden? If it's because he thinks I'm not strong enough to handle this job, I'm going to have to give him a piece of my mind."

"I was actually thinking of going to ask Vermouth about it." Ran confessed after a moment, casting a slight glance towards Kazuha, watching her start at the words. "I have a feeling that she might know something."

"Are ya sure?" Kazuha asked, blinking a little. "I don't really understand what yer relationship is ta that woman, but I don't think she's someone you should go an' visit that easily, Ran."

"I've given it a lot of thought." Ran told her, giving her a small smile. "And while I don't like going behind Shinichi's back like this, if he's going to go behind my back first, I at least deserve to know why. Would you like to come with me, Kazuha?"

"No, I don't think she'd talk with me in there." Kazuha said, shaking her head. "I was actually plannin' on trackin' down Hakuba-san myself a little later and try and see what it is that he's up to. He can't avoid me if I show up in person."

Well, he could _try_ , but she wouldn't let him.

"Odds are, he's probably still over at Shinichi's place." Ran noted, taking a bite out of her toast. "I was going to head over there myself after breakfast to see if I couldn't talk with him first, if you want to come with me, Kazuha."

"Sounds like a plan ta me!" Kazuha said, nodding her head with a slight smile. "I could give ya a ride there, even."

"You've really taken to that thing, haven't you?" Ran asked, her eyes darting over towards the helmet. "Hattori-kun would probably be happy to hear that you've been keeping it for him."

"That's right." Kazuha said, nodding her head, her smile only growing. "Whenever he manages ta come back here, I bet he'll be so surprised! I want ta keep it runnin' properly until then."

"Hopefully it lasts that long. You've been having some troubles with it lately, haven't you?" Ran asked. She didn't want to bring up the fact that like Shinichi, while she sometimes couldn't help but imagine Heiji one day showing up out of the blue, a wild tale on his lips of how he was still alive, and why he hadn't come home for the past five years, she had long since accepted Heiji's death. Even so, the _last_ thing she wanted to do was destroy Kazuha's last thread of hope- she always seemed so convinced that it was only a matter of time before she and Heiji finally crossed paths once more.

She said it was because she still felt that they were connected by that red string of fate. While Ran couldn't deny that it was romantic, she couldn't find it in herself to bring up the hope anymore, not after five years had passed. Pretty much everyone had been holding on to the hope that maybe, somehow, Heiji had survived falling into the sea, and had survived being shot on top of that, at first, but now, five years after the fact? Only Kazuha and his mother really clung to the belief that Heiji was still alive.

It would be nice if that were true, Ran thought. Certainly, if their situations were reversed, she would be the one holding on to just as much hope that Shinichi were still alive, even as others gradually lost their belief.

"Yeah, here an' there." Kazuha said, nodding her head. "I've started studying mechanics actually. It's easier an' cheaper to repair it myself than having to deal with haulin' it into a shop every time."

"That's pretty impressive, though." Ran said, casting a small smile towards her friend. "Well, in that case, I wouldn't mind a ride. Just let me finish breakfast, and we can head on out. Shinichi's probably awake by now, I bet."

* * *

"Paikaru, a word."

"Blondie, I'm _busy_." Paikaru barely glanced up from his novel, determined to get through the last of them today. He'd been pouring through the Ellery Queen novels that Shinichi had all but dumped on him- it wasn't as if he had anything else to do, and he was pretty certain that there would be protests if he tried to leave the Kudo manor on his own. It wasn't like he felt they were trying to keep him prisoner here, not exactly, but were rather just trying to keep him under a certain degree of supervision.

Which was understandable, really. It'd be weirder if they _didn't_.

Kaito and Sera had returned to their own homes, but it appeared as if Hakuba had decided to stay at the Kudo manor for the time being. He didn't like the idea of leaving Shinichi alone with Paikaru, even if he didn't say that much out loud. Whether it was just because the two of them didn't care for each other that much even back when they were on the same side of the law, or if it was because he just didn't have any faith in the assassin as he was now, whatever the case, he only seemed to trust Paikaru so far.

"Your novel can wait." Hakuba noted, glaring at him in distaste. He'd actually tried to suggest to him that he perhaps read some of the Sherlock Holmes novels while he was at it- but he'd taken one look at the books and had flatly told him that he wasn't interested. What a thing to say!

"So can anythin' that ya might have ta say ta me." Paikaru observed, turning a page, before heaving a sigh, realizing that Hakuba wasn't planning on going anywhere. Shutting the book and placing it aside, Paikaru pushed himself off the couch that he had been lounging on, finally giving the pesky detective the attention that he almost seemed to be begging for. "Alright, fine. Spit it out."

"I think it's clear that neither of us trusts the other very much." Hakuba began, his eyes narrowing as Paikaru all but snorted at his words. "I'm willing to listen to Kudo-kun to a certain extent in regards to you, that much is very true. But if I catch so much as a whiff that you intend to betray us or abandon us should things go wrong, I want to make it clear that I will not hesitate to contact the proper authorities to have you brought to justice. I've been tracking you for over four years, I know perfectly well the kinds of things you're capable of. Who you were in the past doesn't matter that much to me, not when you can't even so much as remember any of it."

"Oh?" Paikaru asked, quirking a brow. "An' does Kudo-han know about any of this?"

"He probably suspects, yes." Hakuba said, nodding his head. Of course, he also knew that Shinichi would probably try and talk him out of it. At this rate, he had to wonder if he had _any_ intention of letting Paikaru face any kind of justice for the crimes that he had committed- and couldn't help but feel that his friendship with Heiji was blinding him somewhat. Nothing could change the fact that the scarred young man before them was a criminal, and Hakuba didn't intend to forget it. "Just because you're willing to betray the Organization now doesn't absolve you of what you've done in the past. Nor does who you used to be."

"Well, yer right." Paikaru said simply, shrugging his shoulders. He couldn't help but notice that his words took Hakuba by surprise, as if he hadn't expected him to agree with him. "But let me make one thing clear here. I have no intention of bein' caught by anyone. If ya try an' turn me in, then the deal's null an' void. Ya can consider me gone."

"If you disappear, I'll chase you." Hakuba stated plainly. "But I'll be fair with you, Paikaru. I _do_ understand to a degree that you've been dealt an unfair hand in life, and that quite frankly, you didn't really have that many options to choose from. If you exceed my expectations, and you get through what's to come without trying to betray us, or abandon us, and _without killing anyone_ ," he made sure to stress that part as much as he could, "...then I will consider- _consider_ \- going along with whatever it is Kudo-kun has planned for you once this is all over."

"Well that's rather kind of ya." Paikaru observed, arching his brows. If he had to be honest, it was a lot easier for him to deal with Hakuba's distrust of him than it was to deal with the strange sense of belief that Shinichi seemed to have in him. At the very least, he couldn't let Hakuba down, since he already wasn't expecting anything from him. "I'll make sure ta keep ya at yer word, Blondie."

"One more thing, while we're on the topic." Hakuba said after a moment, narrowing his eyes. "Stop calling me Blondie."

"I refuse."

* * *

Just as he had suspected, the sound of a motorcycle pulling to a stop in front of the Kudo manor was a ill omen. The moment Shinichi heard the sound of it from outside of his window, he'd all but frozen, setting aside the papers he was sorting through- before he quickly jumped to his feet, sprinting so that nobody else could answer the call box before him.

"O-oh, Ran!" Shinichi blurted out, hoping that he didn't look as frazzled as he felt. "What brings you here? And with Kazuha, none the less!"

Mentally trying to recall where, exactly, Paikaru had been the last time he saw him, he could only pray that the assassin didn't decide to make himself known at this, the worst possible of times. He wasn't on the couch where he had been lounging earlier, reading Ellery Queen novels- it appeared that Hakuba had forced him out of that area for one reason or another, since the half-British detective was now occupying that space himself.

But if he had any idea that Kazuha was here, right now, there was a very good possibility that he might turn up- at least that's what Shinichi's gut feeling told him, given the way he'd perked up at the mere sound of her voice yesterday. However, after thinking it through for a moment, he realized that his reaction might actually be the exact opposite- if anything, he might try and put some distance between the two of them. Paikaru did well to mask it, but it was quite clear to Shinichi that there were some rather complicated feelings in regards to himself and who he once was that were brewing within him, and it was likely those feelings that would keep him away from the one it seemed that he actually wanted to meet.

Not that he could blame him.

"We've come to have a few words with you, Shinichi." Ran's sharp tone was all that he needed to know that there would be no turning them away. "And Hakuba-san too, since I'm going to assume that he's there as well."

"That's right!" Kazuha chimed in. "Ya'd better tell him ta stay put right where he is, because I've got a few words I need ta say ta him!"

"R-right." Slowly nodding his head, Shinichi cast a slight glance back towards Hakuba, silently communicating the fact that he was a dead man, which he seemed to accept with no small amount of grace. He'd been expecting this to happen after all- as much as Kazuha believed that she couldn't match up to Heiji, she wasn't exactly a slouch. "Why don't the two of you come in?" He asked, pressing a button to switch the gate open.

"We can't tell them, you know." Hakuba spoke up as Shinichi switched the intercom off.

"We have to tell them _something_." Shinichi said, narrowing his eyes. "They're both smart, and if they're already here, then odds are they both know _something's_ up." Heaving a sigh, he rubbed the back of his neck, before casting a glance up the stairs, wondering again where it was that Paikaru had run off to at the moment. He was awfully good at making himself scarce when he wanted to. "Look, we'll tell them we're working with Paikaru, but we won't tell them that he's _Hattori_. Not yet, anyways."

That was something that it was only fair to tell Kazuha, in private, before mentioning it to Ran, Shinichi thought. After all, Kazuha had been waiting for Heiji to come home all this time- she deserved to know that he was at the very least, alive, at some point. If just not _right this second_.

"That may be the best plan." Hakuba said, giving him a quick nod of his head as Shinichi made his way to the front door to greet the girls. Turning his own glance upstairs, where he knew Paikaru had headed the last time he saw him, his remaining unread novels tucked underneath one arm, he could only hope that the assassin himself would agree to cooperate.

He obviously had some kind of reaction to Kazuha- even if Hakuba didn't believe the reason was as foolish as the fact that he was somehow still in love with her after all this time, even after losing his memories. Shinichi could be surprisingly sentimental sometimes, he thought to himself, feeling that's what his theory that Paikaru was in love with the childhood friend he didn't remember was based partly on. Perhaps he'd picked it up from Ran over the years.

"Ran." In spite of the fact that she was somewhat annoyed with him, Ran didn't protest when Shinichi leaned into kiss her, a soft, quick peck on the lips. The two of them tended to keep their displays of affection to a minimum around Kazuha. Although they doubted that she would begrudge them for it, having been one of the ones to push them together in the first place, they thought it was somewhat cruel to almost show off their relationship, when she had never even been able to so much tell Heiji that she loved him.

Perhaps she'd get that chance after all, Shinichi thought to himself, turning to look towards Kazuha with a slight smile. "Kazuha. It's good to see you again, even if it has only been a day."

"Kudo-kun." Kazuha's tone was almost short, her arms folded in front of her chest. "Let's cut to the chase, shall we?"

"But of course. This way, please." Shinichi said, feeling like he'd been doing nothing but leading other people into his living room lately. Well, one of them he'd brought into the house while he was still unconsciousness, but nevertheless.

"You're here about my current case, aren't you?" Shinichi asked, taking what had become his usual seat, watching as Hakuba's composed mask slipped somewhat as Kazuha turned that cold stare of hers towards him, before taking a seat next to him.

"Of course we are!" Kazuha said sharply. "I want the facts, Kudo-kun. And no lies this time." She said, casting a glance over towards Hakuba as she said that, narrowing her eyes ever so slightly.

"Ai-chan said that your current investigation involves the Black Organization." Ran spoke up, brushing a stray strand of hair behind her ear as she carefully took a seat. "In regards to that assassin that Hakuba-san and Kazuha have been tracking, Paikaru. I thought we promised we'd discuss things like this openly, Shinichi."

"We did, and I'm sorry." Shinichi said, heaving a long sigh. "It's just been a busy two days for me, Ran. I had a lot of things that I needed to take care of, a lot of things that I needed to verify. Some really complicated things are going to start happening very soon, and we need to be prepared for them as possible."

"Who's _we_?" Kazuha spoke up.

"Myself, Hakuba, Sera, and Kuroba." Shinichi told her plainly.

"So ya told _Kuroba_ before ya even thought of tellin' _me_ , huh?" Kazuha asked, turning the burnt of her anger towards Hakuba, who slightly edged away from her a little. Sometimes his body still ached from all of the strict training courses that she had put him through, insistent that if he was going to be a detective, then he needed some way to protect himself, otherwise he'd just be a sitting duck.

She didn't want to lose anyone else, she'd said, in a voice that he assumed he hadn't been meant to hear.

"Again, I must apologize for that." Shinichi said, casting her what he hoped was a calming smile. It seemed to work, as Kazuha let out a long breath, her shoulders slumping as she let her anger more or less wash out of her. "But chances are, we're about to tangle with what remains of the Black Organization once more. There's a high chance that Merlot and Gin will be coming back to Tokyo in short order."

It was silent enough to hear a pin drop, Shinichi thought, as the two girls quickly processed what, exactly, that meant.

"No wonder you called everybody out then, Shinichi." Ran said finally, a grim expression on her face as she reached over to him, placing a hand over his own. "You're going to be careful, right? Please be careful, Shinichi. I'd actually like to _have_ a groom to marry."

"I promise, Ran." Shinichi said softly, placing his free hand over hers, giving her a soft smile. From somewhere in the house, he was quite certain that he could feel eyes watching him- but they didn't carry the intense gaze with them that they had yesterday. Rather, there was almost something softer to them- the burnt of the gaze, he thought, wasn't directed at him. He wasn't certain if Kazuha had noticed or not, but if she did, she gave no outward hints at it.

Coughing into his hand to clear his throat, Shinichi gave Ran's hand another reassuring pat, before he turned back to the subject matter at hand. "We've already told Sera and Kuroba as much, however, at the current moment, we're actually working with Paikaru." At the shocked expression that crossed Kazuha's face, he couldn't help but give her a small smile, trying to not let anything on his expression hint to the true identity of the one she'd been chasing all this time.

It was a bit ironic, really, that she'd ended up on the trail of the person who was none other than her own childhood friend, the one that she always believed was still alive, even after five years had passed. In the end, she'd been right.

"With _him_?" Kazuha asked, her brows furrowing. "He's an _assassin_ , Kudo-kun."

How Shinichi managed not to wince at her cold tone, he didn't know- but he managed. "I'm aware. But he wants to leave the Organization, and is willing to give us whatever information we want if we can make that happen. We'll figure out what happens to him in regards to punishment for his crimes after that, depending on his level of cooperation, and how good the info is that he has."

"You're certain you can trust him, right?" Ran asked, a hint of worry on her voice.

"He is." Hakuba was the one who spoke up, giving a slight nod of his head. "I disagree with Kudo-kun somewhat in regards to this, but nevertheless, he seems to trust him. And I do believe that his desire to leave the Organization behind him is a genuine one." Pausing for a moment, he cast a brief glance down towards Kazuha, before he looked back ahead of him. "At the very least, we don't think he _willingly_ became an assassin."

He wasn't quite covering for Paikaru- for _Heiji_ , Hakuba thought to himself. He was just hoping to lessen the eventual blow the truth would have on Kazuha- that was all.

"I see." Kazuha said after a long moment, letting out a long breath. "I'm startin' ta see why ya were in such a tizzy yesterday, Hakuba-san." She said, a slightly amused grin crossing her face when Hakuba protested to ever being in anything resembling a _tizzy_. "So the big showdown is finally comin'? Ya know I'll do _anythin_ ' that I can ta help ya, Kudo-kun."

It was because of those guys that Heiji had left her side, and she would _never_ forgive them, for as long as she lived. No matter what, she would make them _pay_.

Although... there _had_ been something that had been bothering her ever since she she'd come inside, Kazuha thought to herself, her eyes narrowing slightly. She got the strangest feeling that someone, somewhere was watching her- was there another guest over? Shinichi had mentioned Sera and Kaito, so perhaps one of them was still here. But still, there was something about that gaze...

"I know. Thank you, Kazuha. We'll probably be counting on your support in the coming days." Rising to his feet, Shinichi flashed both girls a grin. "Now then. Both Hakuba and I have some work to wrap up, so why don't you and Ran spend a bit of time together? Things are going to get pretty busy from now on, so the two of you might want to enjoy some time together before that happens."

"Are you _certain_ that you don't need either of us here, Shinichi?" Ran asked, a slight frown on her lips even as she got to her feet. She couldn't shake the feeling that there was still something that she wasn't being told.

"We'll be fine Ran, I promise." Shinichi told her, carefully taking his hands in her own, planting a quick kiss on her forehead. "You and Kazuha just need to enjoy yourselves for now. When the time comes, I'll call on you."

"You'd better." Ran said, giving him something of a stern look. "If you leave me out of this, I'll get mad. You know I've been waiting all this time to give that Gin person a good punch."

"I won't, I promise." Shinichi reassured her, lightly touching foreheads with her. Even in the most tense of times, the mental image of Ran decking Gin never ceased to make him smile. "It's just something of a complicated issue, alright? If I end up shutting you out any, Ran, it's not because I don't trust you, it's just because I'm still working out how to say certain things. That's all."

"Alright, Shinichi." Casting a small smile up at him, Ran gave him a quick peck on the lips, before she turned back towards where Kazuha was- or had been, at any rate, as she took notice that she was nowhere to be found anymore. "Oh? Where did Kazuha go?" It appeared as if this was the first Hakuba had noticed it himself, having been paying so much attention to Shinichi and Ran's exchange that he'd barely even noticed her slip away.

"I'll go find her!" Hakuba quickly said, getting to his feet in a hurry. The last thing he wanted was for Ran to run headfirst into Paikaru while searching for Kazuha, after all the trouble Shinichi had just gone through to conceal a part of the truth from her- and really, he didn't quite want Kazuha to run into Paikaru herself either. Paikaru was unlikely to hurt her- _physically_ at least.

Mentally? Emotionally? That was a different story. Out of all of them, he knew that nobody knew Hattori Heiji better than Toyama Kazuha, except, for perhaps his parents- and that she would be able to tell right away that the person currently wearing her childhood friend's face, the face of the person who everyone thought was dead for the past five years, wasn't quite the hotblooded, easygoing detective that she had been waiting to come back to her.

"She probably just went to the restroom. Why don't you wait outside, Mouri-san?" Hakuba asked, deciding to head upstairs first. How had he _not_ noticed her slipping away? With Paikaru still lurking around the house, where had Kazuha wandered off to? And without telling anyone, either!

* * *

It wasn't quite like her to just wander off like this, Kazuha knew- and in someone else's house nonetheless! Even if it _was_ Shinichi's house, it was nevertheless a bit rude to just go snooping about it without permission. As the conversation drew to a close, Kazuha felt that strangely familiar gaze that had been cast on her back fade away- and for some reason, she didn't care for the feeling that it's absence gave her.

Normally one would think that being watched from afar would be an unpleasant sensation- but there had almost been something soft about this gaze, something familiar- in an almost painful way. But when that gaze vanished, it was all the more painful still. Perhaps it was the faint tug that she felt on her little finger that caused her to make her way to the upper floors of the Kudo manor, a faint whisper in her ear of a voice that she knew by heart that coaxed her upwards, telling her to come upstairs.

It almost felt as if she were being haunted by a ghost- a gentle, familiar ghost who meant her no harm, who had a presence that was soft and comforting- if not a little painful. Glancing around as she got to the top of the stairs, Kazuha frowned a little, before taking a step forward, placing a hand over her omamori as she did so. She'd fixed the string, and had looped it back around her neck as soon as she got the chance- but she still couldn't quite shake the ill feeling that it's breaking had given her.

Perhaps Heiji had been trying to warn her of something, she thought to herself, carefully holding the faded omamori in her hands. It was slightly warm, she noted, pausing midstep, turning her gaze slightly towards the right, taking notice of the fact that one of the bedroom doors was slightly ajar.

That wasn't Shinichi's bedroom, was it? With a slight frown, Kazuha pushed the door open, taking a step inside-

-and found that it was empty, save for a pile of books on the desk. Not quite knowing what she had been expecting, she frowned a little, letting go of her omamori, letting a faint sight escape from her lips. Properly entering the room, she cast her eye on the novels that had been left on the desk- and for a moment, she blinked, unable to help but take note of the author.

"Ellery Queen?"

Picking up one of the novels with a slight frown, Kazuha took the book carefully in her hands, opening it up. They all appeared to be Ellery Queen novels, in fact. Heiji's favorite mystery writer- of course she knew that much. But what were they doing here?

"Ah, there you are, Toyama-san." Hakuba almost let out a slight sigh of relief, watching as the girl placed down the novel that she had been holding. Quickly glancing about the room before she had a chance to look up at him, he quickly assessed that Paikaru was nowhere to be found- the only trace of him in the room he'd been borrowing from Shinichi was the stack of novels that he'd left behind. "Where did you wander off to? Mouri-san is waiting for you."

"Ah, is that so?" Kazuha blinked, looking slightly sheepish at having been caught. "Sorry about that, Hakuba-san. I'll go meet up with her then." Flashing him a quick grin, she carefully darted out of the room, hurrying past him and down the stairs, doing her best to avoid eye contact with him.

What had she even been doing? It was almost as if she had been expecting to find something.

Or _someone_ , really, the voice that she knew so well still drifting through her head, calling out her name. Idly rubbing her little finger, she couldn't help but notice that it had started to itch once more.

 _Don't be silly, Kazuha._ She thought to herself, closing her eyes. _There's no way Heiji's here._


	8. Angel

AN: Give it up for chapter eight, because here it is! I hope everyone enjoys reading it, and I thank you very much for taking the time to do so! As always, please remember to leave a review on your way out, please and thank you!

* * *

 **Phantasmal Black**

 **Chapter Eight**

 **Angel**

* * *

For all that he'd been watching her rather intently ever since she'd entered the house, Paikaru's instinctive reaction to the woman he'd been told was his childhood friend closing in on him was to promptly hide. Letting out the breath he had been holding as he heard the door to the room he'd been lent closing, his shoulders slumped slightly. Chancing a look back into the room from where he'd perched himself just outside the window, sitting on the ledge as if he were a cat, he grimaced, his own eyes meeting those of Hakuba's, who had lingered inside to wait for him.

"How are you even _doing_ that?" Hakuba couldn't help but ask as he opened up one of the windows, glancing down at the window ledge Paikaru had balanced himself on. It was barely thick enough to place a foot on, and yet he wasn't even wavering. "Toyama-san has gone back downstairs now, so you can come back in, if you like."

"Nah, I like it out here. S'cozy." There was a sarcastic note to Paikaru's voice as he effortlessly made his way back inside the window, carefully shutting it behind him as he did so. "Don't expect me ta thank ya fer that back there, though."

"I wouldn't dream of it." Hakuba's tone was dry- as was his expression. "I'm just surprised that you ran from her, really."

"Listen, that's not a topic I want ta get on with _you_." Casting a brief glower in Hakuba's direction, Paikaru nevertheless quickly averted his eyes from him, unable to quite come up with a reason why he'd chosen to hide himself. Maybe he just wasn't ready to come face to face with someone who knew him from his past, but had no knowledge of who he was in the present.

Or maybe it was because he had the feeling that it wouldn't take the woman in question long to realize that his sudden appearance in the Kudo household when timed with the two detectives suddenly gaining the allegiance of the Black Organization assassin, Paikaru, could only mean one thing. And when he thought about that face of hers twisting with the realization that someone she had grown up with both no longer remembered her, and was also no longer the person she remembered, somehow he couldn't bring himself to face her.

The specter of the one who had been Hattori Heiji that he'd dreamed up last night was right- he really _didn't_ have the right to try and fill the shoes that he had left behind.

Perhaps it had been her words more than anything that had driven that point home to him, the cold tone that speaking of him had brought to her voice. God though, her _voice_ \- as much as he hated to admit it, maybe Shinichi's absurd theory had been right. Maybe he really _was_ still in love with this woman, this Toyama Kazuha, this girl he'd grown up with and fallen in love with.

And had forgotten, just like everyone else he'd ever known. He'd thought maybe seeing her in person might perhaps stir some memories within him- but although there was the faintest of tugs, nothing came forward. When he tired to push it, the only thing he got in response was a sharp, stinging pain. The part of his memory that extended back beyond the past five years was still an empty, yearning void, with nothing to fill it other than the things that he had been told.

Which wasn't the same as actually remembering.

"Well, I think you made the right choice, at least." Hakuba said after a moment, a slight frown crossing his features. Unlike Heiji, Paikaru masked his expressions well- but even he could see a crack in the mask of the former assassin. "Toyama-san has been waiting for him all this time after all. For Hattori-kun."

"An' not fer me, is what yer tryin' ta say." Blue eyes flickering over towards him, Paikaru couldn't help but shrug his shoulders, unable to help but agree with him. Strolling over towards the desk, he carefully placed his hand on top the novel that she had picked up- he'd peeked at her through the window, watching her take it carefully in her hands. Vaguely, he still thought he could feel the warmth of her hands.

"Yes." Hakuba's tone was rather cold- although it wavered somewhat. Even he was fully aware of how deep Kazuha's bonds with her childhood friend had been- and who was he, who had no such bonds of his own, who understand nothing about the concept of having a childhood friend- to get in the way of such a reunion? To advise against the two of them meeting again?

But he _also_ knew just how much Kazuha had poured herself into helping Shinichi with taking down the Black Organization in the first place after they'd lost Heiji, doing whatever it was that she could do to help him. Taking her anger, her frustration, and her sorrow and focusing on the one thing she thought she could do for the person who was no longer with her. And likewise, he knew just how much she had poured herself into the investigation surrounding Paikaru- and just how many case reports she'd paged through, page after page of Paikaru's victims.

She knew what kind of blood he had on his hands probably better than even himself. If she were ever to find out that those hands belonged to none other than her childhood friend, the one she had fallen in love with, the one she loved even now, if Hakuba didn't miss his guess- how would she react? Shinichi had told him that Kazuha was stronger than he was giving credit her credit for, but it wasn't so much that Hakuba was undervaluing Kazuha's strength. Rather, he thought Shinichi was undervaluing the blow this realization would deal her.

Perhaps it was just because Shinichi knew Heiji better than he had, that he saw more traces of the detective of the west in Paikaru. And while Hakuba could see bits and pieces here and there, to him, it was almost as if Heiji had been completely erased, and replaced by a stranger, one who wore his face like a mask.

"Well, it's not like yer wrong." Paikaru said finally, casting a quick grin in his direction. It was a far more practiced expression than the genuine ones that Heiji so often had sported.

"What, the two of you are both in here?" Opening up the door, Shinichi heaved a long sigh, looking between the two of them. Thankfully it seemed as if Paikaru had relaxed somewhat in Hakuba's presence- but he knew that the blood between them was still rather bad. He wished that there was something that he could do about it, but he'd rather not try and force the situation and make it even worse.

Frankly, he still thought it was a miracle that Hakuba had even agreed to not turn Paikaru over to the proper authorities. It probably wasn't so much for Paikaru's sake as it was for that of Shinichi's own- and Kazuha's as well. Perhaps he too, felt a certain sense of guilt that for all of his skills as a detective, he had not been able to detect that the one they thought had died was in fact still alive.

"Where are Mouri-san and Toyama-san?" Hakuba asked.

"They've already left." Shinichi said, glancing over towards Paikaru. "I take it you two didn't meet."

"Nah." Giving Shinichi a simple shrug of his shoulders, Paikaru let the question roll off of him as if there was no deeper meaning loaded into those words. "We didn't."

"I see." Closing his eyes and letting out a long sigh, realizing that his earlier assessment had been spot on, Shinichi couldn't help but frown. In spite of everything, he really _did_ want to attempt to reunite the two of them- although he knew full well just how deep down the rabbit hole Kazuha had gone while researching Paikaru, he also knew just how deep her bond with Heiji was. And it was that bond, he thought, that would win out in the end.

And it was that same bond, he thought, that might very well be the key to unlocking Heiji's memories.

But just like with the tense relationship between Paikaru and Hakuba, Shinichi knew that this wasn't something that he could force. It needed to happen on it's own, in it's own time. He was pretty certain that Kazuha would be _furious_ at him afterwards for not telling her the truth from the start, but he thought that the current approach was the best approach.

And as concerned as he was about Heiji's memories, his bigger concern was still that of the upcoming confrontation with Merlot and Gin- with bringing down the last vestiges of the Black Organization once and for all. And with figuring out what to do with Paikaru once this all was over.

He'd earned a lot of favors from the FBI over the years- perhaps then would be the time to cash all of them in. Perhaps he could strike a deal with them- he didn't doubt that Paikaru's knowledge of the shadowy world of assassination extended beyond that of the Organization. That knowledge could prove very valuable to the FBI. He knew that it would be impossible for Paikaru- for _Heiji_ \- to avoid all punishment for the things that he'd done in the past five years, but he wanted to save his life, at the very least, at all costs. And also, at all costs, he wanted to prevent Paikaru from disappearing again- like he knew that he would if he sensed that things were turning south, and that there was a threat to the freedom that he'd finally found for himself.

He'd been gone from them for too long to disappear again.

Shinichi's words in regards to his memories hadn't been lies- it was true that he desperately, _desperately_ wanted him to remember, to recall a time when he was known as Hattori Heiji, when they were rivals and best friends. But it was also just as true that even if that was impossible, that he had no intention of casting him out just because of that. Even if his personality had been altered, even if he didn't remember him, nothing changed the fact that the one in front of him was _still_ very much Hattori Heiji, however ill at ease the name made him.

Even if he never remembered the friendship that they had shared, Shinichi still wanted to try and offer him a new one- even _with_ the blood on his hands. It was an absurd thing for a detective to think, and yet, nevertheless, here he was.

As much as everyone tried to convince him otherwise, he knew that it was his fault that Heiji had ended up going down this path in the first place. No pretty words or kind sentiments could wash that away. If he'd never involved Heiji with the Black Organization business in the first place, then Merlot would have never noticed him, never taken an interest in him.

Merlot.

Shinichi had always kind of assumed that the one who bore that codename would be a redhead- but according to Paikaru's description, she in fact had black hair, that was starting to gray faintly around her ears. Although she was well into middle age, that hadn't slowed down the woman's steps any, and it was clear that she was still one of the finest assassins out there. He didn't know much about her history, other than that she had been in the trade for a very long, long time- perhaps she had been born and bred into it, just as many of her students as had- just as she'd claimed _he_ had.

In the end, where she came from didn't really matter that much.

What mattered was what was in store for her future- namely, justice. For as much as he blamed himself for allowing such a thing to happen to Heiji, even Shinichi was fully aware that the ultimate blame for everything rested on the woman who had taken notice of a detective and had decided that his talents were being wasted on such a thing, and that she was going to turn him into a splendid murderer instead. The one who had lied to him, the one who had manipulated him, the one who was ultimately responsible for every drop of blood on his hands, for every sin that he bore.

It had been awhile, Shinichi thought, since he'd hated someone as much as he did Gin. His feelings for Merlot were clear cut and precise- but as for Paikaru?

He was _certain_ that the feelings were far more complex. He could only hope that he could one day earn the measure of trust needed for him to open up to him about it.

* * *

Even after everything that she had been through with him, Ran still had an incredible amount of faith in Shinichi. When she learned that he had been lying to her for almost a year, that he had been by her side the entire time, posing as a grade school student, she had been understandably furious with him. After everything that he'd put her through, after all the worry she'd felt for him, he had been right there next to her the entire time. There were millions of times that he could have spoken up and said something, could have told her the truth- indeed, she'd closed in on the truth more than once herself, but each time, he'd fooled her with a clever ploy.

But even at the same time she had been angry with him, she could understand his reasons. He just wanted to protect her, to keep her safe from danger, from a danger that was so big that he couldn't even fully understand just _how_ dangerous it was at the very beginning. He'd wanted to tell her at first- it was in fact the Professor who had advised him not to, telling him that if those men in black knew that he was alive, they'd come back to finish the job- and those around him might very well be dragged into it.

And in the end, the Professor had been right.

When Shinichi had finally spoken to her about what had happened that night, and everything that had lead up to it, she felt her heart nearly stabbed by the guilt that crossed his too young face, even as he tried to conceal the expression underneath the glint of Conan's glasses. Heiji had discovered his secret on his own, and left with no other choice, he'd told him everything. She had always thought that Heiji and Conan were rather close, almost like siblings- back when she had no idea that Kudo Shinichi and Edogawa Conan were one and the same.

She failed to realize just _how_ close, not until Heiji was no longer there, his loss very nearly breaking Shinichi. It broke him so hard that he could no longer maintain his facade, could no longer pretend to just be simple Edogawa Conan- not to her, at the very least. He confessed everything to her, pouring it all out at once.

As angry as she had been, Ran's concern for him had won out. It wasn't even a contest, really. He had just lost someone incredibly important to him, and he felt that it was all his fault. Even though she didn't think so, even though she knew the blame only lay with the Black Organization, with Vodka, the man who had shot the bullet that had pierced through Heiji, with Gin, who had fed Shinichi the poison that had started everything- she knew that Shinichi wouldn't accept those words.

The next time she saw Shinichi in his true appearance, she'd been walking hand in hand with him, holding his tight like a lifeline. Not for her own sake, this time, but for his own. The real antidote hadn't been completed in time for the funeral, so he'd taken a temporary one- he needed to be there as _himself_ , and not as anyone else.

She never wanted to see that expression on Shinichi's face ever again.

Even after being lied to for so long, in the end, she still trusted him. But she'd also vowed to never allow herself to be fooled again- no matter what his reasons, she wanted to stay by his side, wanted to help him no matter what. She'd learned to pick up on the signs, to tell when there was something Shinichi wasn't telling her, when he was leaving things out, not telling her the whole truth. Over the years, she'd gotten quite skilled at it- which was why she knew right away that there was something important- something very important- about the current situation that he wasn't telling her.

And it left a heavy feeling in her gut, one that she didn't like. No matter how much she turned over his words in her mind, she couldn't come to a conclusion on her own.

And so, she sought out the only person who would tell her the truth- the whole truth. Even though she most likely wouldn't want to, she would do it anyways, just because she asked.

She wanted to stand by Shinichi's side, and in order to do just that, she had to know what was really going on. He'd masked it well, but she knew that troubled look in his eyes, knew that there was something eating away at him. There had been a flash of it as Kazuha had spoken coldly of Paikaru, a slight wince that crossed his face that nobody else seemed to notice.

 _Why_? Why was that? What was it that Shinichi was keeping from her? And not just her, but also from Kazuha, if she didn't miss her mark. She didn't believe that he was doing it willfully, but rather, she knew that it was most likely something that was difficult for him to say. And it was exactly _because_ it was something difficult for him to say that she needed to know- because not only was she furious at Shinichi for lying to her for so long, she was furious at _herself_ for being fooled for so long, even though she'd uncovered the truth time and time again. She was furious at herself for not being there to support him when he needed her the most.

Taking in and letting out a deep breath, Ran steeled herself, stepping into the room where only _that woman_ waited. When she first met her, she had still been going by the name of Sharon Vineyard. When she knew her next, she had been posing as Tomoaki Araide. Later, she came to know her name as Vermouth.

That was the name that had stuck.

"It's been quite a long time, Angel." For all that it had been, something in Vermouth's tone told her that she wasn't the least bit surprised to see her. The woman's gaze leveled with hers- and Ran was unable to help but notice that even in five years, her appearance hadn't changed in the slightest. It was almost eerie.

"I think you already know why I'm here today." Ran told her, carefully taking the seat that had been left for her. "I already know that Shinichi visited you recently. The guards told me that much."

"That he did." Closing her eyes and giving her a small nod of her head, Vermouth slowly opened them back up, gazing through the glass that separated the two women. "You've really grown up since then. I hear you're going to be a bride soon. I am happy for you, Angel."

"Thank you." Ran told her, keeping her tone somewhat curt. "But I didn't come here to be congratulated."

"I'm aware." Vermouth said simply, folding her hands into her lap. "You've come because the one you are engaged to is keeping things from you again, and you would very much like to know what they are."

"Yes." Locking eyes with Vermouth, Ran spoke. "I hear that it's very likely that Gin and Merlot are going to be coming back to Tokyo again, very soon. Shinichi thinks that there will be one last big showdown with the Organization very soon. But I don't think that's why he came to visit you so suddenly."

"And why _do_ you think he came to visit me, then?" Vermouth asked.

Swallowing a little, as if somewhat uncertain of her own deduction- she was no great detective, and even now, she sometimes found herself unable to keep up with her future husband. Still, that didn't mean she was a fool either- there were things even she could notice, even she could deduce. What lay within Shinichi's heart had become one of them. "He also mentioned that he was going to start working with another member of the Organization to bring the remains of it down. He told me his codename was Paikaru."

Her words lingered in the air for a long moment, finding herself half unable to continue- before she resolved herself, pushing herself forward. "And that's why I'm here. Because I know his words were the truth, but not the whole truth. And because I know that whatever it is that he isn't telling me is causing him pain."

"I see." Closing her eyes for a long moment, Vermouth considered the woman in front of her. When she had first met her, she had been just a girl- but it appeared that she was very much on the way to growing up into a splendid woman. Slowly opening her eyes back up, she gave her the slightest hint of a smile. "Only pain lies that way for you as well, Angel. I was instructed myself to not tell you anything should you show up here. Even so, all you need to do is give me the word, and I will tell you all I know."

So Shinichi already knew that she might come here, Ran thought to herself. That made her feel a little bit better about going behind his back like this- even though it still filled her with a hint of guilt. Still, she'd already vowed that she would never let Shinichi carry a burden by himself ever again- all the more so because the two of them would be married soon. She wanted to shoulder at least half of his pain, but she couldn't do that if there were still things he wouldn't tell her.

"I'm prepared for it." Ran told her, her voice resolute, even as something in her gaze wavered. "Please tell me."

"Very well." Vermouth said. "You're quite correct. The reason that he came to see me in the first place was in regards to the one known now as Paikaru. However, when the two of you knew him, he had a different name."

"Different name?" Ran blinked, a slight frown gracing her features, even as the heavy knot in her gut tightened, it's weight growing. That way that Shinichi had winced at Kazuha's cold tone resurfaced in her mind, playing out over and over again. "I knew him?"

"You did." With a slow nod of her head, Vermouth gave her a tight, joyless smile. "Before he became one of us, you knew him rather well, in fact. You could say that you know him better than even he knows himself now."

The silence that lingered in the room was only broken by the sound of Ran's pounding heart, as she felt a cold, creeping realization that she knew exactly _what_ Vermouth was trying to say, and _who_ she was speaking about. Feeling her body tense up, her breath briefly catching in her throat, she found that only one name came up within her mind. But that was...

"He died." Ran spoke up finally, shaking her head. "It's not possible. Hattori-kun died five years ago."

"So he did, in a sense." Vermouth told her, a hint of sympathy flashing through her eyes. This wasn't easy news for her to bear, she knew that much. But since she had come all this way to ask her, she wouldn't keep the truth from her- even if she had been told to. She deserved to know, even though it was painful. "The one known as Hattori Heiji died on that day, and from that point on, Paikaru existed in his place."

"But _why_!?" Springing to her feet, unable to help herself, Ran almost couldn't believe her ears. The Heiji that she knew would have never agreed to work for the Organization, so _why_? "Why of all people would Hattori-kun...?!"

"I said it earlier, didn't I?" Vermouth asked her. "You know him better than even he knows himself now. There was no betrayal involved, Angel, have no fear. The one that you knew simply lost his memories, according to what your future husband told me. The life that he's been living these past five years has all been one long lie strung out in front of he who awoke one day knowing nothing. All that he is now is because of that woman, who took advantage of his amnesia for her own benefit."

"That's awful." Her voice barely came out louder than a whisper, but the crack of anger that surged through it was clear. She didn't need Vermouth to specify who 'that woman' was- she'd been paying enough attention to Kazuha's investigation that she knew she meant Merlot. After all, it was said that Paikaru was supposed to be a pupil of hers- it didn't take a detective to put two and two together, not about this. "So even now, Hattori-kun doesn't...?"

"Doesn't remember." Vermouth finished for her. "I did warn you that the truth wouldn't be easy to bear. Do you regret learning it?"

Slowly shaking her head, Ran took in and let out a deep breath, bringing out the steel within herself, of which she had no small amount. "No. I don't regret it." She told her- even as she felt the stinging pain in her heart. Even though she hadn't known Heiji as well as Shinichi had, in the end, to learn that he was still alive in the same breath as she learned that he had amnesia, that he'd been deceived for so many years because of that, that he'd...

Now everything made sense.

Shinichi's unusual behavior that evening two nights ago. That look in his eyes as Kazuha had spoken coldly of the one named Paikaru. The reason that he couldn't bring himself to tell them the whole truth. It was all because he knew this truth- that Hattori Heiji and the Black Organization member Paikaru were one and the same, that he'd lost his memories, that he'd become something he was never meant to be in the first place in their absence. That he'd gone down a path that none of them could follow him on, and yet still, had somehow managed to return to them, in spite of everything- even though he himself had no way of knowing that he'd found himself once more where he had always belonged.

Against all odds, Kazuha had been right all this time. Heiji had always been alive. Somewhere out there, in the wide world, the one that her red string of fate was connected to was still alive, was still living. It was a wish that everyone had wanted to be true, even as they began to lose hope themselves.

But not like this. Never like this. How could she ever tell Kazuha something like this?

"Why don't you go on, Angel?" Vermouth told her, looking up at her, a certain softness manifesting itself within her. "There's no point in staying here with me any longer, however grateful I am for your presence. You have things that you want to say to him, don't you? Perhaps all those thoughts you're chasing around in your head would be settled if you met him yourself."

"You're right." Slowly nodding her head, Ran placed a hand over her heart, fighting back against the stinging pain in it. Whatever the circumstances, it didn't change the fact that what she had thought was impossible was actually true- that Heiji was actually alive. Before anything else, before coming to any other conclusions, she should at the very least, try and meet with him. In spite of everything, in spite of the new role in which he'd been cast, in the end, he still found his way back to Shinichi's side, and had found himself working with him once more, just as before.

There was hope in that.

"I should. It's been five long years after all. I have welcome Hattori-kun back home. Shinichi being the way that he is, he's probably forgotten to do it properly himself."

* * *

"Kudo-kun." Taking his finger off the intercom button, so that the woman on the other side couldn't hear his words, Hakuba glanced back at his fellow detective who had joined him in the living room, a little bit too late to answer the ringing doorbell himself. "Mouri-san is back."

"So she is." Heaving a long sigh, it only took one look at his fiancee's face to realize that she was mad at him- and he had a vague feeling as to why. "Let her in, Hakuba. I think I know why she's here."

They had known each other since they were children, after all. Over the years, he'd come to understand Mouri Ran very well- and he knew that she'd come to understand him just as well. He suspected that she was fully aware that there was something he had left out about what he'd told her, and he likewise suspected that upon realizing this, she would go and look for answers. Considering that it involved the Black Organization, he didn't doubt for one second that her search for answers would lead her straight to Vermouth- and he also doubted that Vermouth would keep her promise to not tell Ran anything.

The question was how _much_ she knew.

Sensing that it was time to make himself scarce, Hakuba silently retreated upstairs. Just in time too, as he heard Ran enter the Kudo manor. Whatever was about to happen, he didn't want to get himself in the middle of it.

"I want to meet him." Were the first words out of Ran's mouth, cutting off Shinichi's greeting, her name all but dying in his throat. "Shinichi, I want to meet him."

"Who?" Shinichi asked, almost instinctively finding himself playing dumb. Quickly having cause to regret it, as Ran turned a sharp eye on him, he let out a long sigh, his shoulders slumping. "You went to see Vermouth, didn't you?"

"I did." Ran said, placing her hands on her hips, letting out a long sigh. "I can understand why you didn't want to tell me the whole truth, especially in front of Kazuha, Shinichi, but I've told you over and over that I want to be here for you, and share half of your pain. Those words weren't just meant to be pretty sentiments, you know."

"I know, I know." Shinichi told her, placing his hands on her shoulders. "But if Vermouth told you about the current situation, you should understand that it's not an easy thing to talk about." Without meaning to, he felt his grip on her shoulders tighten, as he drew in a long breath. "It was hard enough breaking it to people who barely knew him."

"Does he really not remember anything, Shinichi?" Ran asked, her expression softening somewhat as she met his eyes. This was his best friend they were speaking about, after all. She knew just how deeply his death had affected him, and she could only imagine how he felt now, thrust into this situation as he was. Carefully placing her hands over his own, she gently guided them off of her shoulders, cupping them within her own.

"Not a thing." Shaking his head, Shinichi did his best to give her a small smile, feeling the warmth of her hands seep into his own. She had always had warmer hands than him. "At the very least, he believes what I've told him is the truth, and seems willing to accept it, but... he really doesn't remember anything. Not about me, not about himself- not even anything about Kazuha. There's still something there at the very least, though it's faint."

"Is he really... you know?" Ran's gaze flickered away from him, finding herself unable to say the word out loud. As she felt Shinichi's hands stiffen within her own, she turned her eyes back up towards him, knowing even without looking that she would find guilt and regret there. "It's really not your fault, Shinichi. There's no way that you could have known that something like this would happen."

"I should have looked _harder_ , Ran." Shinichi said, shaking his head. "Then maybe things would be different now. Still, the situation is what it is, and we can only make the best out of the hand that we've been dealt. At the very least, I don't think he's really that bad of a person, at least, deep down. He's really _does_ want to leave the Organization behind, and really does want to help bring them down once and for all."

"He is still Hattori-kun, after all." Ran said, a slight smile gracing her features. "I meant what I said earlier, Shinichi. I want to meet him for myself."

"Are you sure, Ran?" Shinichi asked, his gaze momentarily flickering back upstairs. "Frankly, I was planning on waiting until everything was over to deal with the matter of introducing him to people that he used to know, but..."

"I'm sure." Ran said, slowly removing her hands from around his own, folding them behind her back. "It's been five years since we've seen each other, after all. If he's come back to Tokyo after this long, I have to greet him properly, even if he doesn't remember me. Even if he's..."

She couldn't finish that sentence, so instead she took a step past him, masking the expression that she wore. It was a hard thing to dwell on, and Ran knew that it was likely even harder for the one by her side. What kind of future awaited Heiji, once all of this was over?

"Ah, but that's right." Turning on her heel, she glanced back at Shinichi. "What should I call him? Is Hattori-kun fine?"

"He doesn't really seem comfortable with his real name, though you're welcome to try it." Shinichi told her, shaking his head. Turning around, he placed one hand on Ran's shoulder, carefully escorting her upstairs. The real question, he supposed, was if Paikaru was willing to meet with Ran, considering that he'd fled from Kazuha. "Unfortunately, the only name anyone felt inclined to give him was just his codename. For the time being, we've just been calling him that."

"I see." With a slight frown, she cast a quick glance over towards him, before she turned her gaze forward again, giving a silent testing voice to the codename in question. It felt strange on her lips, especially when she couldn't help but connect it to the image of Heiji that had burned itself into her mind. "Then, that's fine. He must be going through a lot after all. It's probably not easy to learn that everything you know has been a lie."

"I suppose that's true." Shinichi said, unable to help but give her a rather fond smile. Frankly, if there was one thing he could understand about Vermouth, it was why she had started calling Ran 'Angel'. It was a rather fitting nickname for her, in the end. "Listen though, we're not telling Kazuha about this just yet. I think it's only fair that we let Hattori- _Paikaru_ \- resolve himself to meet her first before we try and push him into anything."

"I'm pretty sure he's still in love with her, incidentally." That last part was whispered, just in case there were any listening sets of ears lurking around the house. "He's kept her omamori with him after all this time. You should see the look on his face just hearing her name gives him."

"Then, maybe if we let them meet, Hattori-kun might remember something?" Ran whispered back, even though she wasn't quite certain why he'd dropped his voice in the first place. "But I sort of understand what you mean, Shinichi. I won't mention anything to Kazuha just yet, but we can't keep this from her forever. She's been waiting all this time for him."

"Don't worry, I don't plan on doing so." Shinichi was quick to reassure her, planting a kiss on her forehead. Realizing that they had already made their way upstairs, he cut their conversation short, and headed over towards the room he'd leant Paikaru, giving a firm knock on the door. "Paikaru, are you in there?"

"What do ya want, Kudo-han?" Carefully watching the reaction that familiar voice sent through Ran- it was one thing to hear from others that someone you thought was dead was actually alive, and another to actually hear it for yourself. "I was tryin' ta take a nap."

"How can you sleep _at all_ after drinking that bitter muck you tried to pass off as coffee this morning?" Shinichi asked, unable to help but arch a brow. He was _still_ feeling a buzz from that stuff. "I have someone that you need to meet."

"What, _again_?" Paikaru grumbled, as he all but jerked the door open, glowering down at the detective- before turning his gaze over towards the woman next to him, blinking slowly. He felt like he had seen her somewhere before recently, but...

Oh, that's right. She was that woman in the photograph with Kazuha, and that woman who had come here with her earlier in the day. If he recalled, she was Shinichi's fiancee, wasn't she?

And judging from the flabbergasted look on her face, he could guess that she was someone who used to know him in the past as well. Thinking back on it, he could recall her face, five years younger, among the photographs in the scrapbook that he'd been shown. And although he could recall that much, her face didn't pull at his memory any, didn't call out to anything within him.

"This is my fiancee, Mouri Ran." Sensing that neither of them quite knew what to say to each other, Shinichi decided to break the ice for him.

"Ah, yes, I'm Mouri Ran!" Quickly realizing that introducing herself would be the best, even though it felt rather strange, Ran gave the young man in front of her a quick bow. Even though he was right in front of her, she still had a bit of a hard time grasping the fact that Heiji really _was_ still alive. How many times had she visited his grave with Kazuha? Sometimes she found herself forgetting that there was actually nothing inside of it- but seeing him alive finally drove that knowledge home to her. "It's nice to see you again."

"Ah... yeah." Slowly blinking, Paikaru found himself searching for words. He got the feeling that there was no way this girl didn't also know what kind of person he was, so the fact that she was telling him it was nice to see him again was more than a little befuddling. "I guess I don't really need to introduce myself, then. You've got me at a bit of an unfair advantage there, Mouri-san."

Ran wasn't sure what struck her more- the way that he spoke her name as if were the first time he'd ever said it, or the sudden lack of his Osakan accent, when she knew he'd had it just a moment ago. It wasn't hard for her to pick up on the fact that his guard was raised right now- and it had been ever since he'd noticed that Shinichi wasn't alone in the hallway, though it had eased somewhat after she'd been introduced. That probably had something to do with it, she thought. Glancing briefly over at Shinichi, he gave her a slight shrug of his shoulders, before placing one hand on her own, giving it a squeeze.

"I suppose that's true. I'm sorry about that." Giving him a small smile, Ran looked up at him. She wasn't quite certain what she had been expecting, really. Perhaps she had been expecting someone colder- but after actually meeting Paikaru, she felt some of that heavy weight that had gathered in her gut ease away somewhat. In spite of what she knew about him, and in spite of what she knew that he'd done, she didn't get the feeling from him that he was some kind of monster, or some kind of heartless murderer. She'd seen plenty of the latter- it was a hazard of having a detective as your childhood friend, after all.

All she could really see in front of her was Hattori Heiji, one who was older- and quite a bit taller- than she remembered him being. But even so, she couldn't help but get a different vibe from him than she had in the past- perhaps it was simply her finely attuned senses as a marital artist, but there was something about him that still made the hairs on the back of her neck prick up, whispering to her faintly that she should be on her guard. She ignored it however- the fact that he was here, working with Shinichi was testament enough to the fact that even without his memories, even though he knew himself only as an assassin, and not as the detective he'd been, that what fundamentally made him who he was was still there.

As her gaze trailed down to his left arm, she couldn't help but bite her lip at the sight of the scars that trailed up it, before turning her eyes back up towards him again. What had Heiji been through during these past five years? It churned her stomach just to think about it, filling her with a righteous fury. She was not the kind to take kindly to anyone hurting those that she cared about.

This shouldn't have happened. Heiji should have never had this kind of fate. But at the very least- at the very least, he was alive. Memories or no memories, in spite of whatever sins he might bear, he was alive.

And honestly, that made her happy.

"Um, it might be strange to say this given your memory loss, but I feel that it should be said nevertheless." Finally finding her words somewhat, Ran's smile softened a little. Shinichi had been right- all they could do now was make the best out of the hand that they had been dealt- and if anyone had been dealt the worst set of cards, it was none other than Heiji himself.

"Welcome back, Hattori-kun."


	9. Merlot

AN: Here's chapter nine! Just from the name alone, it should be obvious who shows up finally in this chapter, ahahaha! Hopefully everyone enjoys it! Anyways, with that said, thank you for reading, and please leave a review if you can! Until next time!

* * *

 **Phantasmal Black**

 **Chapter Nine**

 **Merlot**

* * *

Ran had to confess, she _hadn't_ expected the reaction her words would earn from Paikaru would be for him to turn a bright shade of red. That was, however, _exactly_ what he did, an action that was quickly followed by him promptly shutting the door in their faces.

"U-um, did I say something wrong?" Ran asked, nervously glancing over towards Shinichi, wondering if she'd perhaps upset him somehow. Thinking back on it, she'd accidentally used his real name, so maybe that was it... still, that reaction appeared more flustered than anything.

"No, you didn't." Heaving a slight sigh and rubbing the back of his neck, Shinichi cast her a small smile. "He doesn't really handle positive attention very well, as it turns. Give him a few second and he'll be fine."

"A-ah, I see." Blinking a little, somewhat surprised by this information, Ran nevertheless readily accepted it. She didn't think that she had done much- she had only done the obvious, welcoming their long lost friend back home. If something that small had managed to set him off- her eyes narrowed slightly, the cold feeling in her gut twisting up once more, though for a different reason this time. "I'll try to be more careful."

"Nah, he needs to hear stuff like that, I think." Shinichi said easily, giving her a shrug of his shoulders. From the look in Ran's eyes, he could guess that she had easily drawn the same conclusion that he had earlier. It was strange to think that it had only been a day ago now- it felt as if it had been a lot longer since Heiji had unexpectedly made his way back into his life. "I'm no therapist, but I'm pretty sure it helps."

"Still..." Ran trailed off, her words cut off by the door opening back up again, a slightly sheepish looking Paikaru, mostly recovered from his momentary lapse into incoherence, emerging once more. "Um, are you okay?"

"Yeah, I'm okay, I'm okay." Paikaru was quick to reassure her, trying to brush aside her worries. His reaction was, admittedly, more than a little bit embarrassing- but he wasn't used to this sort of thing, and he had no idea what to do with the genuine kindness that was being tossed his way. That was part of why dealing with Hakuba was easier- he didn't have to deal with these strange feelings inside of him, things that he wasn't accustomed to, feelings he didn't have any proper outlet for. "Sorry ta worry ya, Mouri-han."

Blinking a little at the sudden return of his Osakan accent, Ran nevertheless smiled, realizing that he must have decided that she was someone that he could trust. His guard was still up, that much was clear to her- but not as much as it had been before. And quite honestly, she couldn't blame him for it- she didn't know what kind of circumstances he'd lived through for the past five years, but she could hazard a guess.

And frankly, it made her blood _boil_.

"Just Ran is fine, Hat-" She began, before quickly cutting herself off, realizing what she was about to say. "Ah, I'm sorry. Shinichi told me that you still prefer Paikaru right now."

"Ah, yeah." Scratching his cheek, Paikaru gave her something of a strained smile. "I'll get used ta it after awhile, but..." He trailed off a little, not wanting to openly admit that the reason he didn't feel comfortable being called what he knew now was his real name, was because he didn't think he deserved it anymore. He didn't want anyone's pity, and he was sure as hell that he couldn't deal with anyone's sympathy. "Nobody's called me that name in five years, so I really don't know it all that well. Sorry fer the trouble."

"No, it's no trouble at all." Ran was quick to say, shaking her head. Almost without thinking, she reached out to take his hand- his right, she noted, moving for the one without the fearsome scars as if by instinct. Although he visibly flinched at the action, he didn't pull it away, nor did his guard raise any further. "We're all just happy that you're alive, really. You can take as much time as you need to come to terms with, well, everything. Dealing with memory loss can't be easy, especially not when you've been lied to about who you are."

God, he really _wasn't_ good at dealing with this sort of thing. Didn't this woman know who he was? The sort of things that he'd done? There was no mistake that she did, given what he'd overheard earlier in the day. And yet, she was still treating him this way, as if he was an old friend who had come home after a long time away, rather than some kind of imposter who simply wore his face.

This would be _a lot_ easier for him if people would treat him in a way that matched how he felt about himself. He never had been quite certain what he expected the mystery behind his missing memories to be- but it wasn't some kind of detective, a former ally of the one who had helped destroy most of the Black Organization in the first place.

"Well, I'll admit ta that much." Paikaru said, carefully sliding his hand from her grasp, tucking both hands back into his pockets so that she couldn't try that again. Ever since this had started, he'd noticed that people had been trying to avoid direct physical contact with him- as if on some subconscious level they still couldn't forget what he was. This woman, this Mouri Ran, had just blasted right through all of that- and frankly, he didn't know _what_ to make of it.

He didn't hate it, not exactly. Maybe there was still a part of him that yearned for that sort of thing.

"But what's already happened has already happened." Paikaru said with an easy shrug of her shoulder, casting a half smile down at her. "It's not like ya can turn back time, Neechan."

The nickname had rolled off his lips with such ease, but it wasn't until he saw the joint looks of surprise cross their faces, that Paikaru realized that this too, might have been something left over. Perhaps there were things, however fragmented, that he still remembered, here and there. It wasn't as if he could consciously call on them even knowing that, however, but he supposed it was almost comforting in a way to know that maybe there were still elements of the person he'd been that lay within him.

Just perhaps not as much as everyone was hoping for.

Clearing his throat, sensing the strange air that was starting to form, Shinichi patted Ran's shoulder. "Anyways, like I mentioned before, Ran here is my fiancee. She's _also_ a black belt in karate, and is the current national champion." He couldn't help but feel pride swell up in him as he spoke those words, briefly recalling the vivid smile that had blossomed on her face when she won the match that had bestowed the honor on her. "She helped with taking down the Organization after..." He trailed off again a little, averting his eyes from both Paikaru and Ran alike. "...after you disappeared."

It was perhaps a blessing that Paikaru didn't even flinch. "Heh, this Neechan is? That's pretty impressive, ya know!"

"No, no, it's really nothing." Ran insisted, shaking her head. "With enough practice and dedication, anyone could do the same thing, I'm sure. Ah but do you remember? You used to be really great at kendo yourself!"

"Kendo? Me?" Tilting his head slightly to the side, Paikaru folded his arms in front of his chest, trying to see if he could recall anything like that. "Now that ya mention it, I've always thought I was kinda knowledgeable in that area. So I used ta practice it?"

"You did." Shinichi told him. "Well, although in truth Ran and I never actually got see you fight in an actual match. We tried to once, but..."

"You ran off to investigate a murder." Ran recalled.

"Did somethin' like that happen?" Paikaru blinked. Nothing really stirred within him at their words, much as he tried to bring something up- it only earned him a sharp, stinging pain, which he managed to cover up rather well. "Well, if ya say it happened, it probably happened."

He couldn't help but notice the way their faces fell, almost in unison. Heaving a song sigh, he rubbed the back of his neck, glancing over towards Shinichi, deciding to change the topic. "So? Is there a reason ya introduced this Neechan ta me in the first place? Surely it wasn't just ta show off yer future bride." There was a slight pause there, a considering look crossing his face. "I suppose I should congratulate ya though."

Trying to mask just how much hearing that last sentence meant to him, Shinichi covered it with a more serious expression. "She found out, and insisted on it. There are plenty of other people who are waiting for you to come back home, you know. Even if you don't remember them."

"So ya've told me." Paikaru said, giving him an easy shrug, concealing the serpent's nest of feelings that were coiling inside of him. "An' if things work out with that old man and that old lady, I'll go an' face the rest of 'em myself."

"And if they don't?" Shinichi couldn't help but ask, carefully gauging Paikaru's reaction.

Casting a slightly rueful smile down towards him, Paikaru could only shake his head. "If they don't, there probably won't be anyone ta go back to. Ya probably know that better than anyone, Kudo-han."

He did, of course. He knew exactly what was at stake here. The Organization might not have the kind of power or reach that it had in the past, but it would be a fool's error to underestimate Gin- or Merlot, even given what very little he knew about her. Still, it didn't change his resolve at all- if they were coming here to Beika, like his gut instinct told him they would be soon, then he wanted to finish things once and for all, to finally dash away the shadows of the Black Organization once and for all. He wanted to meet Gin once more, face to face, and bring down the one who had tried to kill him on that night five years ago. Bring down the one who had haunted his dreams and plagued his nightmares for longer than he cared to admit.

And too, he wanted to come face to face with the woman who had turned his best friend from a hotblooded, quick tempered detective with a strong sense of justice, to an assassin with blood on his hands that could never be wiped away, no matter how much he wanted to. He wanted to come face to face with Merlot, and make her pay not just for what she had done to Heiji- but what she had done to countless other children, turning them into assassins, tools, who had been born into the Organization, and who had, in the end, died for the Organization, much as he fought to save them.

Because if there was one thing that he didn't appreciate, it was people who toyed with human lives. Mark his words- he'd bring the both of them to justice, much overdue.

* * *

The old adage might tell one that no news was good news, but in her line of work, that was far from the truth. Front page news was good news, the headlines detailing in bold letters, using their best scare words that such and such and so and so had been killed, suspected to be the work of an assassin. Perhaps not _all_ of their targets earned so much attention- there were countless numbers of FBI agents and undercover operatives from countless other spy agencies that had simply slipped quietly into the night, never to be heard from again, mourned only by their coworkers and their family members, who might never learn the truth of why they had died.

Merlot loved the headlines. The big, black, bold print. The interviews with friend and family alike, unable to believe this turn of events, that their loved one's life had been cut short so quickly. She sought them out, in every language she knew, a countless litany of them that rolled of her tongue very much the same way she breathed. Those of her own, to be sure, but those of her pupils all the more so. In the past, she would fill binder upon binder with them, treasuring them as a mother would treasure the drawings their children had made for her, pinning them up on the fridge.

At the very end, she was left with only one pupil, as all of her others vanished from her sight, disappearing. Not beyond her reach, but beyond her interest. If they had gotten themselves captured, they were no longer worth anything to her, no longer worth the effort. All the time she had taken to train them, to raise them, now down the drain, their binders torched and burned, returning to the earth, just as the ones who they were tied to soon did.

But her last pupil was her finest- her most perfect work yet. She knew from the very moment that she lay eyes upon him that he was perfect, that she had to have him. That this one was going to be hers, no matter what she needed to do to obtain him. That fierce grin, that gifted physical ability, that sharp brain- it was all just right, and she sought nothing else but to make him her own, a single minded focus even as the Organization slowly began to fall apart around her.

And then, just like that, he had fallen into the palm of her hand. No tricks, no strings pulled, no blood shed other than the boy's own, and not even by her own hand. It was as if he was delivered straight to her by the hand of God, a present carried in by the choppy waves. She had gone to watch Vodka's foolish, inevitable capture, catching the scent of the trap that was closing in on him.

When she watched the one that she desired be shot, Merlot felt as if she too, had been shot. When he fell into the sea, slipping out of the hands of the curious child that did not seem like a child at all to her, she began to despair.

And then, lo, she found him. He was in rather bad shape at the time, so finding someone to care for him was urgent, but thankfully, she knew just the person. A reliable underground doctor, known for keeping their silence and asking no questions. If she brought in one who was famous for being a high school detective- a waste of his talents, really- then they wouldn't even pat an eye, and would only strive to save the life of the patient thrust in front of them.

It was surely fate. Fate that she found him. Fate that they shared a blood type- he'd lost so much blood already, nearly on death's door when she pulled him out of the sea. Fate that when he finally woke up, he woke up as not Hattori Heiji, the son of Hattori Heizo, the high school detective of the west- but as an empty shell with no memories of his own.

The codename had slipped off her lips with ease as she spoke to him for the very first time, her tone familiar and warm, as if she had known him all of his life. As if it was she, and not his flesh and blood mother, who had raised him from birth, who had taught him everything that he knew, who had shaped him into who he was. And she would, taking that raw potential that had so caught her eye, and bringing it out, creating a pupil beyond even her wildest dreams.

He learned so quickly. Gifted, really, a talent for it, as much as he hesitated at first. To think that he'd wasted all of those years using his intellect and ability chasing down murderers, instead of putting it to use doing what he was surely put on this earth to do in the first place. She could only once again thank God for bringing her this gift, this delightful present at the very start of the twilight years of her life.

She'd leave behind a splendid legacy after all.

Gone, wiped away was Hattori Heiji, as he should be. In his place, her lovely pupil, Paikaru was born, as she slowly crafted him from the empty shell that had been left in his place. There were still some things, small things, that she knew had not disappeared. That pesky accent of his, that charm that he clung to that she knew she couldn't do away with. But such things were minor, and were of no bother to her- she could allow them, she thought. Even when she realized that he had begun to suspect everything that he had told had been a lie, it was already far too late for him.

Too far, had he gone in this life, unable to turn back. And even as he realized the truth, his memories did not return, lost to him just as much as his real name was. She had become secure in her knowledge that Hattori Heiji would never come return- and that perhaps in a few years, Paikaru would stop questioning the seventeen year gap in his memory, and simply accept who he was now as the one, the only truth.

But then there had been _that girl_.

The girl who had lived, the girl who had escaped him. At first, she thought that was true. Paikaru was talented, to be sure, but he wasn't perfect- not yet. It was only after that she had chanced upon a photograph of her that something tugged at her own memory, and she began diving into the young man's unnecessary past once more- and had realized, with narrowed eyes, the truth.

A childhood friend, a girl by the name of Toyama Kazuha, who held too close of a resemblance to the girl who had escaped to be a coincidence. And she knew, she knew at once, that this was no miraculous escape. She knew at once that she had been spared, that some small fragment of Hattori Heiji had surfaced, however briefly, and had let her live, some half-forgotten fragment that refused to forget the face of someone that he knew from a life he no longer remembered.

That would not do.

The need for a test rose up- and when the request to kill a certain female police Inspector crossed her desk, she knew that it was the one. So she had sent out Paikaru, allowing him to return to his homeland of Japan for the first time since he'd left it, after he'd recovered from his injuries enough to travel. She had expected good results.

And yet, no news had come. Surely her murder would result in something of a stir- and yet, nothing. And she knew. She knew that the test had failed. Had his memories returned? No, surely not, not after all this time, not after so long with no sign of them bubbling to the surface.

So something had gotten in his way- or someone, she thought, tapping her desk as her sharp gaze fell on the young man pictured on her screen. He was someone she was _not_ interested in. Kudo Shinichi might have brought down most of the Organization around her- not that she much cared, she had plenty of work unrelated to them lined up, enough to sustain her for all of her years of life- but he was of no interest to her. But she knew, oh how she knew, that he bore a connection to the one that she had taken in, a strong connection.

And that were he to learn of his dear friend's survival, then steps would be taken to bring him back into his fold. Even if he suspected him as a traitor, unaware, unknowing that the one he had called his friend and ally had no memories of such a time, there was very little doubt in her mind that he would attempt to deal with the matter personally. And in such a scenario, the truth would come out.

One needed sharp instincts to survive in this trade, and Merlot's had been sharpened for a very long time indeed. She knew that this one, this young man, this _detective_ , had involved himself in the matter, and that he currently had her precious child in the palm of his hand, threatening to bring back Hattori Heiji, who she had tried so hard to erase.

And that she would _not_ allow.

Gracefully standing up from her desk, Merlot could hear the distant shores of Japan all but calling for her. Her other pupils were useless to her, long forgotten now- but Paikaru was someone that she would not let go. They were bound by the blood they shared, the blood that she had generously donated to him on that night to save his life, and she had no intention of seeing such a bond broken.

"Just wait a bit longer, Paikaru." Merlot spoke, her voice light and airy. "It won't be much longer now. I'll come and pick you up right away."

* * *

Her little finger's itch had not yet gone away, and quite frankly, it was starting to bother her. It had never quite been like this before, though it was something that had plagued her ever since Heiji had left her life. It wasn't quite the tug that she felt on it from time to time- much less pleasant than that, as if what caused the sensation to bubble up inside of her was not hope, but rather, something else.

The red string of fate felt as if it were chafing her, and she didn't like it. Even as she tried to place her hand over her precious omamori to calm herself, she felt strangely nervous, oddly on edge. Kazuha wasn't quite certain why she was, but she was certain that it had to do something with the stack of Ellery Queen novels that she had discovered at Shinichi's place, and the strange, oddly familiar gaze that she had felt leveled on her there.

It was as if she were being haunted by a ghost.

Though she was always one to believe in that sort of thing, even now that she was an adult, she scoffed at the notion that it could be Heiji's. She was certain, beyond the shadow of a doubt, that Heiji was still very much alive, wherever he was, and whatever it was that he was doing. The occasional tug that she felt on her little finger and the warmth that her omamori sometimes generated were proof enough to her as that- as well as the knowledge that Heiji wouldn't die from something as small as being shot and falling into the ocean. He'd already gone through both such things already, and while admittedly it hadn't been at the same time, he had still survived them largely unscathed.

There was no way that he could be dead, so there was no way that his ghost could possibly be haunting her.

Although she had gotten the answers that she had sought by coming to Tokyo, somehow, Kazuha wasn't satisfied. It wasn't just because of his strange sense of being haunted that was plaguing her, but rather had everything to do with what she had been told earlier in the day. There was a sense of both apprehension and almost excitement as the shadow of that Organization, those dreadful people who had taken Heiji from her life, loomed over her once again, threatening to swallow everything up. She had no intention of letting it, of course. Detective she might be, but her sense of justice wouldn't lose to anyone.

There was also the sense that there was something that she wasn't being told, something that Shinichi had left out when he had explained the situation to her. Likewise, she wasn't certain how she felt about the news that they were now working together with Paikaru, the assassin that they had spent so long trying to track down in the first place. As her thoughts returned to him, she found herself lightly rubbing her little finger again, the need to itch it bubbling back up once more.

 _"At the very least, we don't think he_ _ **willingly**_ _became an assassin."_

Those words from Hakuba had struck her as being strange. He knew as well as she did exactly what kind of things that Paikaru was capable of, and yet, he'd still spoken such words. Almost words of defense, really- what was it about the assassin that had prompted him to speak them in the first place? He had clearly met with him, of that Kazuha had very little doubt, so what kind of impression did he leave on Hakuba and Shinichi alike that both of them were willing to throw their lots in with him, and his promise to betray the Organization in return for their help in leaving it.

Either way, she had no intention of leaving Tokyo for the time being. She had called back to police headquarters and requested for an extension of her time off, and had booked herself a hotel room. She would be here for as long as the confrontation with the Black Organization lasted, and for as long as she needed to be here in order to get some answers.

"Kazuha-chan?"

Breaking out of her thoughts, Kazuha turned towards the person who had spoken to her- her smile quickly soured by the knowledge that they had been approached before her with all of this information. "Sera-han." She said after a moment, before heaving a sigh, glancing towards the empty seat across from her. "Ya might as well sit down. Ya in Tokyo cause Kudo-kun called ya?"

Sera's expression didn't falter as she pulled out the chair across from her, taking a seat in it. She had spotted the ponytailed girl by complete chance- and had decided to call out to her. All things considered, they weren't really that close, though they had gotten to know each other better over the past few years. More friendly acquaintances than proper friends, really.

Perhaps it was her meeting with the one previously known as the high school detective of the west, still fresh in her mind, that had prompted Sera to do so. Perhaps it was simply the upcoming clash with the Organization that had made her do so. But whatever the case, she was here now, sitting across Toyama Kazuha at a rather lovely cafe, carrying the weight of knowledge in her mind.

That, and the fact that she would _never_ pass up the chance to speak to a pretty girl sitting by herself at a cafe. Chasing her would be a fruitless effort, she knew full well- her heart was still devoted to her childhood friend, even after all these years.

What a funny and cruel thing, fate was. Hattori Heiji had turned out to be very much alive, but the two of them had been cast as enemies without either of them being aware of it. She certainly wasn't going to be the one to inform her of the truth. It was better left to those who knew them both better.

"I am." Sera said with a nod of her head. "I'm guessing that you've heard what's approaching us soon." Careful to mind her words in this public space, she smiled as the waitress greeted her, quickly ordering herself an iced coffee.

"That I have." Kazuha said simply, taking a long drink of her tea, before she set the cup back down. "I hear Kudo-kun called both you an' Kuroba over yesterday."

"Are you mad?" Sera asked.

"A little. But not at ya." Kazuha confessed after a moment, heaving a slight sigh. "I just don't appreciate the way Kudo-kun tries ta go behind people's backs sometimes. After all this time, ya'd think he'd know that he can depend on us- _all of us_ , not just the ones who are detectives." And then, after a slight pause. "An' whatever the hell _Kuroba's_ supposed ta be."

"That's just the way he is." Sera said simply, deciding it was best if she just left it at that. She knew full well that Shinichi had his reasons for leaving Kazuha out of the loop, though judging from her words, he'd obviously since told her something. Not the fact that her childhood friend was still alive, she knew. It was clear as day that Kazuha still had no knowledge of this fact, only her belief still. "What did he tell you, by the way? Considering that you're here, you must have gotten something out of him."

Dropping her voice, her eyes darting around the cafe to make sure that there were no prying ears, Kazuha's expression turned rather serious. "That Merlot an' Gin are likely ta come, soon. That somethin' big is gonna start happenin' just as soon with it." And with a slight frown on her face, her brows furrowing together as she brought it up. "An' that they're workin' together with that Paikaru guy now."

"Did you meet him?" Sera asked, barely sparing her a glance, on the off chance that she picked up something in her eyes.

"No." Kazuha said, shaking her head. "Frankly, I'm not sure if I want ta. Kudo-kun sounds like he trusts him, but Kudo-kun hasn't been trackin' him like Hakuba-san an' I have. I'm just amazed Hakuba-san's goin' along with it at all, if I have ta be honest. He doesn't seem like the type ta put such things behind him so easily."

"Well," Considering the cup of coffee that she had been brought, Sera carefully chose her words. Even though she didn't know him as well, it tore at her heart nevertheless to hear Kazuha unwittingly saying such things about the person that she had given her heart to, long ago. "...Paikaru's circumstances are _special_ , from what I've gathered. He's certainly a criminal, but I don't think he's a _monster_."

"After all," Sera continued, deciding to take a slight gamble here, setting down her cup. Shinichi had told her further details in private, information that he didn't want to voice around Paikaru himself. "...from what I understand, it seems that the girl who got Hakuba-san on his tail to begin with didn't just survive by mere good luck. He _let_ her live."

Visible shock passed through those green eyes, as Kazuha set down her teacup with a loud clink. "Are ya serious?" She asked, half unable to believe her ears. To think that someone like that had actually spared a life- and what's more, put his own identity at risk by doing so. Quite frankly, she couldn't believe it- it didn't make any sense to her, didn't fit with the actions that she had read up upon, the case reports filed in regards to him. "Why would he do somethin' like that? Are ya sure?"

"There's no mistake." Sera said, shaking her head. She hadn't heard the words from Paikaru's mouth herself, but she didn't doubt that Shinichi's instincts were right. "I don't think he's quite what you think he is, Kazuha-chan."

"So ya've met him yerself, then, I take it." Kazuha remarked, narrowing her eyes. So now not only was Hakuba defending the guy, but Sera too? What exactly had he done to earn so much trust from the three of them, that they were willing to put aside his past crimes in order to work alongside him?

What sort of guy was he?

"I have." Sera said with a nod. "He's a rather interesting person. In all honesty, Kazuha-chan, I think you'd like him."

"Are ya serious with that?" Kazuha asked, casting her a look of disbelief. "What makes ya so sure, Sera-han?"

"Instinct, I suppose."

* * *

"Does it hurt?"

The unexpected question caught him off guard, as he found a pair of curious blue eyes glancing down at him. Briefly wondering what it was with people and not letting him finish his reading in peace, Paikaru closed the novel that he was reading. Setting it aside, the assassin glanced up at the woman who hovered over him, strands of hair trailing over her shoulder.

"Does _what_ hurt?" He asked, briefly locking eyes with her, in spite of knowing full well what she meant. It didn't take a genius to guess that she was talking about his left arm- he'd seen the way her gaze had lingered on it. Usually he went to greater things to cover it up, but there was no point in doing that now, not when everyone who came to visit had seen it in all of it's scarred glory. They danced out like miniature lightning bolts, crackling all the way up his arm, just slightly peeking out around his neck, a constant reminder of the element that had created them in the first place.

"Your left arm." Ran told him, carefully taking a seat on the floor across from him. She had decided on her own that she was going to be living with Shinichi for awhile, and had briefly returned to her own apartment to gather up some of her things, before she had come back, claiming a room for herself before Shinichi could stop her. She'd lightly teased him, telling him to consider it as a preview of their married life, something which had quickly gotten him to shut up.

When she had returned, she had sought out Heiji- _Paikaru-_ once again- she had gathered up her own album from home, and wanted to share it with him, hoping that it might spark something within him. Although Shinichi had already told her that he'd shown him the memorial album that she had made for him, she nevertheless wanted to try. Besides, even if he couldn't remember the events that transpired that had been frozen in time in the form of photographs for himself, there was still meaning in seeing them. It would give him something to fill the void with, that gaping, yearning void where nothing existed.

It gave her shivers, just thinking about it.

Ran had found Paikaru in the library of the Kudo manor, sitting cross legged on the ground, leaning up against the desk, his nose buried in an Ellery Queen novel. Though he didn't glance up from it, she knew that he had realized she'd come in from the faint twitch of his fingers, from the raising of his guard.

"It doesn't hurt." Paikaru told her frankly. It really didn't- he had no sense of pain in it, and the barest sense of touch. It still worked, which was good enough for him. "An'? What is it that ya want, Neechan? Given what yer holdin' I can make a guess, though."

"I wanted to share this album with you." Ran told him, a bright smile on her face. She got the feeling that she put him ill at ease, and all of her efforts to counteract that only seemed to put him even more ill at ease. She had eventually concluded that he simply wasn't used to people being this nice to him. "Although it's fine if you don't want to look through it, Ha-" Quickly stopping herself again, a look of guilt flashing through her eyes, Ran's smile turned sheepish. " _Paikaru_."

Eyes carefully studying the young man clad in black now that she had a chance to be alone with him, Ran couldn't help but feel her smile falter somewhat as she did so. To see Heiji again, alive, after so long of thinking him dead, only for him to have ended up this way- she still didn't know what to make of it, frankly. She knew that she needed to do her best to make him comfortable and to reassure him, especially after what he'd been through, especially with the things that he had done- but there were times when she found herself struggling to actually see Heiji in him, once she got past his face.

"I'll look at it." Paikaru said after a moment, extending a hand. "Give it here."

At his words, her smile lit back up, and she quickly passed the album back over towards him. Scooting herself somewhat closer to him, she watched as he blinked, casting a wary eye towards her- before he turned his attention away from her again, apparently accepting her presence there. "Yer a weird person, Neechan."

"I'll take that as a compliment." Ran said lightly, watching as he opened up the album. "Ah, that person right there is your mother." She said, pointing towards the woman in the picture, noticing the way Paikaru flinched as her hand crossed into his personal space. "Hattori Shizuka. She's pretty, isn't she?"

"Yeah, I guess." Blinking slightly, Paikaru glanced down at the woman in the photo, half wondering if Ran was pulling his leg at first. Her pale skin was in total contrast to his own- but upon studying her further, he realized that they very much had the same eyes. It was a strange thing to think about, really- he'd long since assumed that his birth parents had been dead. He didn't know what to think of the idea that they were still out there somewhere, alive and well.

"Ah, and this man here is your father!" Ran brightly added, tapping another face in the photograph. "Hattori Heizo. He's the highest ranking officer in the Osakan police force, you know!"

"Heh, is that so? He's-" The meaning of Ran's words suddenly hitting him like a pile of bricks, Paikaru's eyes went wide, suddenly turning back towards her. "Are ya serious about that!? My old man's supposed ta be some kind of _police officer_? An' not only that, the _head honcho himself_?"

Ah. Now that expression, a mixture of shock and disbelief, was something she _was_ accustomed to seeing on Heiji's face. Was it possible that nobody had told him about his parents yet? What was Shinichi even _doing_? With a slow nod of her head, Ran replied to him. "Yes. He is. He's rather famous, actually. Don't tell me you didn't know?"

"Of course I didn't know!" Paikaru snapped, his temper, for a moment flaring up- before he withdrew it with a long sigh, closing his eyes, letting his head thump back against the desk. He didn't know what to expect from his supposed parents- but his father being the chief of an entire prefecture's police force was not it. And to think he was...

What a failure of a son he'd turned out to be, he couldn't help but think. The idea that he could ever go back to these people he didn't know, pretending to be someone that he knew he wasn't, only became more distant with this latest information. It was impossible. There was no way.

"I'm sorry, I didn't mean to cause you any pain." It was Ran's soft voice that forced him to open his eyes, slowly turning to meet her gaze. There was sympathy written in them- no distant pity, but only pure sympathy, that cut him deeper than any blade, or any careless words of hatred. He just wanted to push her away from him, to go back to things that he understood- to the negative whirlpool which had engulfed him before he'd even realized it. "We can put the album away for now, Paikaru."

She should have known. She should have known better to tell him something like that- and yet, it hadn't even occurred to her. This was an expression that she had never seen Heiji make before, and the sharp pain that it sent through her heart carried with it deep feelings of regret. Maybe there was a reason Shinichi was trying to dance around his past as much as he could right now.

"No, it's not yer fault." Paikaru said finally, closing the album with a sharp sound. "Ya just wanted ta help. There's no shame in that."

"But-" Ran began, her words cut off as Paikaru scooped up to his novel, rising to his feet.

"It's fine. Don't worry about it." He told her, lightly tapping the top of her head with his book. "Yer really a weird person though, Neechan."

As Ran slowly rose to her feet, carefully scooping up the abandoned photo album, holding it tightly to her chest, she couldn't help but wonder if she head just made everything worse. All she wanted to do was try and help Heiji- not to cause him anymore pain. But perhaps that was unavoidable. Perhaps there was no way out of this situation that didn't involve pain and suffering, much as she might try and find a way.

Because even if Heiji started to remember things, it might only make the pain he was carrying inside of him all the worse. And as much as she wanted to do something to stop that, she knew that there was nothing anyone could actually do about it.

Except, for perhaps, one person.


	10. Midnight

AN: It's chapter ten, and boy howdy, do things sure happen in this chapter! I really enjoyed writing it, so I hope everyone enjoys reading it just as much! Anyways, that's really all I have to say this time around, so thanks for reading! Don't forget to leave a review on your way out!

Until next time!

* * *

 **Phantasmal Black**

 **Chapter Ten**

 **Midnight**

* * *

He woke knowing nothing.

Perhaps that wasn't _quite_ true. There were any number of things that he knew- some of which he couldn't help but dwell on as to _how_ he knew in the first place. Things like knowing the velocity of blood splatters did not seem like your average, run of the mill kind of knowledge, nor did such a through understanding of how to determine the time in which a corpse had died, nevermind a through understanding of how to _fool_ someone looking into such things. His thoughts buzzed around in his head in a variety of languages, and for a moment, he struggled to place which one might be his native tongue.

These things and more, he all knew. What he didn't know, no matter how deeply he dug through his memories, was anything about _himself_ , nor how he might have gotten here. There were no mirrors in the room that he had found himself in, which appeared to be something resembling a hospital room, if not one that wasn't _quite_ that, so beyond knowing that he had dark skin and what appeared to be a scar from a gunshot on his stomach, he didn't even know what he looked like at the moment.

In place of his memories, there was an empty, yearning void where they should have been. As he desperately tried to recall how it was he might have gotten here- it appeared that he had been shot _again_ , judging from the wound on his upper torso, that he'd checked upon unwinding the bandages around it, he couldn't help but be troubled by the even more pressing question.

Who on earth was he?

"You're awake."

It was a woman's voice, and although there was a trace of an accent to her words, she appeared to be speaking Japanese. Was he Japanese? He couldn't even remember that much, but judging from the fact that he seemed to be able to recall more about Japanese history, law, and culture than that of any other nation, it was possible that was the case. Slowly turning to face the woman who had spoken, he locked eyes with her, slowly blinking, trying almost desperately to place her face, and utterly failing at that attempt.

"Do I know ya from somewhere?" He finally spoke up, taking note of what appeared to be an Osakan accent that came out as he spoke. Japanese, probably from the Kansai region, at the very least. He couldn't quite place the woman's nationality, other than the fact that she fell underneath the broad spectrum of white. Maybe French, he thought dimly, or German, given the trace of accent that she spoke with.

Pulling up a chair next to the bed, the woman, who appeared to be somewhere in her early fifties, short black hair curling around ears, traces of wrinkles and gray hairs being the only thing to give away the fact that she was not in fact, a much younger woman. "I think the bigger question is if you know anything about yourself."

There was a pause there for a moment, as her words hung in the air. Swallowing, he slowly shook his head, once again wondering who this woman was. There was something about the air that she gave off that made his skin crawl- and he half didn't know if he should trust her. Still, there was no one else around, and it was true that no matter how hard he dug, he couldn't recall even one fact about himself- though he appeared to have a rather through understanding of how one could use fishing wires to create fake locked room murders, and a distressingly detailed understanding of how a human body reacted when lit on fire.

Which raised the very good question again, of who the hell _he_ was.

"No." He said finally, slowly shaking his head. "I don't remember anythin'." Slowly glancing over towards her, an almost slightly hopeful look to his eyes he decided to chance a question that had been waiting to be asked. "Do _you_ know me?"

"Of _course_ I do." The soft smile that graced the woman's lips almost seemed maternal, as she reached out a hand, lightly cupping one of his cheeks, softly stroking it with her fingers. He almost shuddered at the touch, it sending a crawling feeling up his spine. "You could say that I'm your mother, Paikaru. I've raised you ever since you were a wee babe. I'm Merlot."

Thinking back on it, years later, the one who had been given a new name on that day wondered _how_ he had missed the opportunistic glint that had been in her eyes at the time. Perhaps he had just been _that_ desperate to fill the void of his lost memories at the time, and hadn't even questioned the woman's claims, even as she told him that they were both assassins, members of an organized crime ring that she would only refer to as the Organization. Maybe it was just because that the things that he _did_ remember- knowledge that he'd earned as a detective, not as a murderer, he'd only come to learn far too late- seemed to match up with what the woman was saying.

Maybe it was the fact that he _had_ been shot, and that it hadn't even been the _first_ time, judging from the scar on his stomach. Or perhaps it was just simply the soft, reassuring tone that the woman took, never once wavering in her act that she was someone who knew him, and had known him since he was a baby, had raised him as her own. The smooth words of a woman who was accustomed to manipulating people, taking advantage of his amnesia to fill his head with lies, to convince him that he was really someone that he wasn't, to craft someone new out of the nothing left behind.

Paikaru.

That was the only name that he knew for five years, and it wasn't even really a name to begin with. Just a codename, one that marked him as a member of the Organization. He had heard whispers of the young Japanese detective that had destroyed most of their Organization, and even when he heard the name of Kudo Shinichi cross the lips of the silver haired man who had been introduced to him as Gin, it didn't seem to stir anything within him.

He should have taken notice of the way the man reacted to his own lack of reaction to the name, should have taken notice to the considering look he'd turned towards Merlot, and the pleased smile that crossed the woman's features. He couldn't have known at the time that it was by that young man's side- this Kudo Shinichi, that he should have been standing with. Not here, with them, a name that was not his own applied to him, one that he had accepted without questioning it too much.

He _should_ have asked more questions.

Especially as his hand shook, fingers hesitating to pull the trigger on his first mission- until a bolt of electricity had surged through his left arm, and he'd fired without thinking. There would be no more turning back from then on, no excuses in the world that would make up for what he had done- or was going to end up doing. Even as he slowly began to ask questions, slowly began to realize that things were not as they seemed, and that the things that had spilled so easily from that woman's mouth on that day were nothing more than well crafted lies, it was already far too late to turn back.

By the time he learned that his real name was Hattori Heiji, it had long since become a name that he didn't know. When Kudo Shinichi himself had told him that the name belonged to him, desperately searching his eyes for any trace of the friend that he once had, he had already become someone that he no longer recognized. He'd only just wanted to approach the detective as a way out of the Organization, some way to get them off of his back so that he could live freely- after disappearing from the detective's sight once helping him bring them down, of course.

He never thought even for a moment, that Kudo Shinichi was someone that he knew, someone who had once trusted him deeply. He was just a stranger to him, a means to an end. And then, somehow, he had become so much _more_ , as without realizing it, he'd wandered his way back to the place where he was meant to be all along, by the side of people he was meant to be by all along.

Kudo Shinichi had answers, not lies. But he was _also_ a detective, and a sworn of enemy of the Organization that he'd been embroiled in as a member for the past five years, the Organization that he'd already done so much for. In the past, Paikaru himself might have been a detective- a high school detective, and an ally of Shinichi's, someone who he trusted to work with him to bring down the Organization- but now? Now he was none of that, or so he thought.

There was a transformative power to names, and from the very moment that his own was stripped away from him, Hattori Heiji might have already been lost. From the second that he had unthinkingly accepted his name as Paikaru, a mere codename given to someone with no real name of his own, it may very well have been that he'd sealed his own fate.

And yet still, he found himself here, in front of the Kudo manor in the dark of the night, quietly listening for those footsteps he had cause to become familiar with. She was coming-he could feel that much in his bones, in the beating of his own heart, sending blood through his own veins that he knew was partly her own. She'd given him a generous blood donation in order to save his life, and that too, had been an element that had prompted him to believe her story, to believe the web of lies that she weaved, crafting it as carefully as a spider would.

"Merlot."

The codename escaped from his lips as if it were a poison, and Paikaru's eyes slowly opened, listening to the faintest of footfalls coming to a halt. Even in the dark of the night, he could still make out the amusement that glimmered in the eyes of this woman, her hair and clothes as black as the night itself. The only thing that stood out was the starkly pale color of her skin, and the glimmer of deep blue in her eyes.

She was delighted to see him, he could tell- even though he didn't share her sentiments. He supposed he owed her something of a debt for saving his life in the first place- but any such debt had been washed away by her taking advantage of him as she had, knowingly crafting an assassin out of someone who was never meant to take a life in the first place. Rising to his feet, Paikaru's eyes narrowed, casting a quick assessing gaze towards her- he could tell where most, if not all of her weapons were hidden, but in turn, he knew full well that she knew where every last one of _his_ were.

She was the one who taught him, after all.

"Paikaru." The woman's voice bubbled up, barely above a whisper, as if she didn't want to disturb those slumbering inside the Kudo manor. "I thought that if I came here, I might find you. I was rather troubled to discover that your target was still alive, so I was afraid that perhaps you had gotten yourself involved in some trouble- and it seems that my instincts were right on the mark. But have no fear, dear child, I've come to see to it myself that you don't have to worry about such bothersome things anymore."

" _What_ bothersome things?" Paikaru's eyes narrowed, a flash of anger shooting through them. "Bothersome things like my memories? My past? My _name_? My _real_ one, not the lies that you've been feeding me for the past five years."

"Ah child," Heaving a long sigh, Merlot almost cast a sympathetic look towards him, a knowing smile on her face. As she suspected, that bothersome detective had told him everything- all the things that she wanted to keep hidden. And yet the one she was speaking to without a doubt was her beloved pupil, Paikaru, and _not_ Hattori Heiji- even with the truth out there, his memories had not yet returned. "But have the lies not since become the truth?"

"Only because you made it that way." Paikaru said lowly, locking eyes with her. They had been the same height when he had first met her, but at some point, he'd shot up beyond her- and while it gave him more of a reach, it was hardly enough of an advantage to overturn the lifetime of experience that was contained within the woman. Even now, as she appeared for all the world to be at ease, he knew that she was capable of delivering a deadly strike at any second, as dangerous as any serpent. "I am _not_ Paikaru and I'm _not_ supposed to be an assassin."

"Ah, but you _are_ Paikaru, my child." Merlot said simply, the shrug of her shoulders somehow graceful. "And trust me, your talents were being _wasted_ on what you were before I took you in. You have a natural gift, a talent given to you by God for this- I'm sure you've come to notice that much over these past five years. It took me so little time to really train you! I've never seen such a natural for this job since well, _myself_ , really."

"Besides," Merlot said simply, a coy expression crossing her face, a hint of a smirk twisting her lips. "If you are not Paikaru, then who _are_ you? Surely you're not going to make the claim that _you_ are Hattori Heiji. You, with blood on your hands, and you who has the that glimmer in his eyes that tells me that he wants to see me erased from this earth and is willing to do that much himself."

Paikaru's eyes could only narrow further at that, a slight twitch to his fingers. "You're probably right about that." He admitted after a moment, knowing better than to avert his gaze from her, however much he wanted to right now, not wanting to see that look in her eyes any longer. Even now, her tone was gentle and soft, a maternal edge to her words, as if she were trying to convince a wayward son to come back home.

Which in her mind, he guessed was what was actually happening here.

"You see?" Merlot said simply, taking a step forward. "Do you really think there is still a place for you here, Paikaru? I'm certain that Kudo Shinichi child has told you all sorts of things, but do you _really_ think that this is the place where you belong? The people here are not waiting for you, you know, but for someone that you cannot ever be."

"And who was it that _made_ me that way?" Paikaru asked, a slight hiss to his words, taking a step forward himself. "If I lost who I was, it's you to blame, Merlot."

"I can tell that you're quite angry with me." Merlot observed, her voice light, but her fond smile not wavering from her face. "I suppose it is understandable. But do you really think you have much of a choice? These people here, they may accept your help and your existence for now, but should they succeed in their endeavors- unlikely, really, but nevertheless- do you really think that you'll have a place to go back to here? Perhaps you'll simply share the same fate of all my previous pupils before you, and I would hate to see your talent wasted in such a manner."

"I don't intend to let that happen either." Paikaru noted. "I don't know if there's a place for me here still, but the only person who can figure that out is me, and nobody else. Your lie might have ended up becoming the truth, but that doesn't erase the fact that there's _still_ another truth out there for me. For once in my life that I can remember, I have a choice, and I'm going to take the one that _I_ want."

"Very well then." Merlot said simply, heaving a long sigh. "I can see there is no convincing you on this matter. But do you really think you are skilled enough to prevent me from doing what I came here to do?"

"No." Paikaru admitted freely, folding his arms in front of his chest, looking down at the woman before him. "Which is why I'm going to instead propose a bet."

"Oh?" At the prospect of such a thing, Merlot's brows raised, a look of great interest crossing her face. "Go on then, I'm listening. I _do_ enjoy a good bet."

"You seem confident that Kudo-han," Paikaru paused for a moment, watching as a sharp look flashed through the woman's eyes as he briefly lapsed back into his native Osakan accent. "...Kudo-san can't do anything against you or that old man Gin. I say that he can."

"An interesting proposition, but one that's going to be very difficult to fulfill as I _fully_ intend to kill him tonight and be done with the whole thing." Merlot observed. "And why, Paikaru, do you suppose that I shouldn't? Certainly you're not going to try and convince me that it's because you think of him as your _friend_ still, even now? You don't even know him."

A sharp burst of anger flashed through Paikaru's eyes, causing him to grit his teeth. "No." He said simply. Friendship might have been something that he had with him in the past, but it was hardly something he felt he had the right to claim with him now, however friendly the detective had been acting towards him ever since they'd met. "I propose a match, Merlot. If I can get just one hit on you before you get five on me, you will leave."

"A rather confident declaration for someone who has never managed such a thing even once. The last time we sparred, I got ten in before your one." Merlot observed. "Will you fight with your life on the line then, Paikaru, for people that you've only just met? If I take this match, I will view it as such a challenge. I'd much rather kill you myself than see you corrupted by such people."

"I'll fight with my life on the line for people I'm _supposed_ to know." Paikaru stated plainly, his own words surprising even him. He didn't quite think that he was this type of person- even now, even though he knew the truth, he still somewhat only saw Shinichi as a means to an end, a way out of the life that he'd found himself trapped in. He didn't think that he was someone that he would fight to protect- and yet here he was, doing just that.

It was absurd, just as every other part of this scenario was.

And not just for him, really- but for the others as well, he supposed. That weird Mouri Ran girl, the one who used to carry a codename much like himself, Haibara Ai- even that bothersome Blondie. The others too, for he imagined that Merlot would see to it that those who rose up in the past to bring down the Black Organization would never again be able to try such a thing- and among their number was someone that he _very much_ wanted to see live.

Even though he'd never met her, even though he'd never so much as properly spoken to her. Even though when given half the chance to, he had run away and hidden himself, unable to face the girl that he had been told was his childhood friend, the one who had made the charm that he had clung to all of these years, as his last remaining connection to a life that he no longer remembered.

At the considering look that crossed Merlot's face, her eyes narrowing slightly, he knew that she sensed that much as well. She had sent him out here, likely to test if there were any traces of Hattori Heiji left within him- and it appeared that she was getting her answer, in a manner that she hadn't quite expected. There was a transformative power to names, and perhaps the return of his own name, the one he had held since birth, was working to restore things he thought long since lost within him- even if he wasn't ready to have it applied to him just yet.

"Very well then, Paikaru." Merlot said simply. "If you manage one blow on me before I land five on you, or before I kill you myself, then I will depart this evening. But should I do such a thing, you know it won't simply just be _me_ that you and the ilk that you've decided to toss your lot in with for reasons I cannot understand, will have to deal with. Gin will come as well, and he will come with no small degree of anger."

"Good." Paikaru couldn't help but flash a grin in spite of the circumstances, white teeth flashing against the dark of the night. "That's exactly what Kudo-san _wants_."

* * *

She really ought to be in bed. Quite frankly, she didn't understand why she wasn't asleep right now, other than the fact that she couldn't seem to manage such a feat. Perhaps it was just because she had learned so much today, and all of her thoughts were still buzzing around in her head. Perhaps it was the creeping sense of anticipation that the upcoming clash with the remnants of the Organization was filling her with. Or perhaps it was the strange, haunting feeling that had been hanging over her ever since early this morning, when she had gone to pay a visit to the Kudo manor herself.

She had spoken with Sera in length after that, and while she wouldn't disclose any more information about Paikaru, which was something Kazuha regarded as strange in and of itself, she had been far more forthcoming when it came to Shinichi's plans. She had heard some of them herself, in brief, but not the full details of them- thankfully, Sera had been more than willing to fill in the gaps of her knowledge, once they had moved themselves to a slightly more private location.

It sounded as good a plan as any, though it seemed to hinge heavily on the notion that Paikaru wouldn't betray them, nor would he abandon them. She wasn't certain what to make of that, and again found herself questioning just _why_ it was that Shinichi was putting so much faith in the Black Organization assassin. Sera had told her that his circumstances were special, and Hakuba himself had said that he hadn't become an assassin originally by choice- a defense that left her more confused than anything else. After all the years of chasing him, and then all the months that he had spent personally tracking the guy, what was it that had changed his opinion so about him?

Perhaps it was simply all of the questions buzzing around in her head that prevented her from falling asleep. Seeing that she was going to have no luck in that department, Kazuha finally heaved a defeated sigh, tossing her covers off of her and swinging her feet out of the bed. Quickly changing out of her pajamas and into her street clothes, she decided that perhaps the best thing for her was to take a walk, maybe find a place that was still open to get something akin to a midnight snack.

Gathering up her things and tucking her hotel key card into her pocket, Kazuha quietly made her way out of her hotel room. Careful not to make any noise that could have woken up the other slumbering guests, she made her way to the elevator, pressing the call button, shifting a little on her feet as she waited for it to come. She had planned to crash at Ran's place while she was here, but Ran had suddenly told her that she would be spending the night at Shinichi's place that night- because she was worried about him, she had said.

There was something slightly odd about her words and her demeanor at the time, but Kazuha decided not to press her. Ran was her best friend, after all, and she would never keep anything critically important from her, or so she felt. Ran had directed her to a nearby nice hotel, with rather cheap rates, and Kazuha had happily booked a room there, finding that it suited her needs just fine.

She would return back to the Kudo manor tomorrow morning to ask some more questions of Shinichi and Hakuba- to try and ferret out what it was that they still weren't telling her. When she had wrapped things up with Sera, it was already somewhat late, and the woman had invited her to dinner- followed by a few drinks. Now that she thought back on it, she almost got the feeling that Sera was trying to distract her- and that too, she found strange, narrowing her eyes as she stepped into the brightly lit elevator.

Something was being kept from her, that was the distinct feeling that she got. Perhaps it was something in the cold, crawling feeling that she got down her spine whenever she thought about it, or perhaps it was the way that her little finger itched and chafed, the once faint tug on it becoming a firm pull- that gave her the feeling that whatever this something was, that it had almost everything to do with the Black Organization member known as Paikaru.

What that was, she didn't know.

At least, she could only hope that she didn't know. For Toyama Kazuha was no fool- and she knew full well that this haunted feeling in reality, extended back far beyond today. Back to when Hakuba had called her telling her that they had gotten their biggest lead yet, someone who had seen Paikaru and lived to tell the tale about it. From the very moment that she had heard his description, she had felt the string that twined her charm around her neck tighten, though only in her mind.

A young man with nearly black hair and a dark complexion.

Those you could find anywhere. And yet, ever since then, even though she tried not to dwell on it, she slowly came to understand the reason why she always got the strangest feeling in the pit of her stomach whenever Paikaru was brought up- why she had decided to devote her focus to tracking him down in the first place, long before they even got the vaguest hint of a description of him.

Perhaps she was not a great detective, not like Heiji was, not like Hakuba and Shinichi were- but she had good instincts. And it was those same instincts that whispered to her that it was not a coincidence she'd found that pile of Ellery Queen novels today at the Kudo manor, nor was it coincidence that she was feeling this way so strongly now. It was those same instincts that whispered to her to trust them, to put her faith in what she was starting to suspect in her gut, that cold, dreadful, black feeling raised up to swallow her should she even so much as entertain the notion she didn't want to think of.

Somewhere out there, in the wide world, Hattori Heiji still lived. Even if he had lost all of his memories, even if he had become a different person, Kazuha would still embrace him with open arms should he ever find his way back to her. The red string of fate that tied them together might have grown frayed and worn, but it would never be severed, not for as long as they both lived. These were all facts that Kazuha knew, these were all facts that Kazuha believed.

Somewhere out there, in the wide world, Hattori Heiji still lived. Her childhood friend, who she had always viewed in shades of orange and red, bright like fire, a raging inferno of emotion. She couldn't imagine that such a fire could ever be quenched- not by the blue of the sea, nor by the cold gray of a bullet. But perhaps there was one color that could put the fire out, consuming everything in it's path without mercy.

Black.

* * *

Placing a hand on his side, pressing tightly against it, Paikaru grimaced as he felt the bright red color that was staining his black hoodie trickle out over his fingers. The cut in itself was not that deep- the problem was the fact that Merlot was targeting the exact same location every time she attacked- and while that made her attack patterns ever slightly more predictable, it meant that with each strike she did get through his guard, the cut in question grew less shallow, and far deeper- and the fact that he was constantly moving around, evading her blows and attempting to make those of his own, really did not help matters much.

She had announced with a flourish of her hands that she would handicap herself by only using knives- and that Paikaru could use whatever it was that he wanted to attack her. He'd stubbornly stuck to knives himself, a decision that he was coming to regret, as he paused to catch his breath. Part of him wanted to toss aside this foolish bet- putting himself in danger like this for the sake of other people? He obviously wasn't thinking straight- especially since he barely even knew these people.

But the other part of him, the part that he could only assume was some small fragment of Hattori Heiji that still dwelled within him, told him that this was not a fight that he could afford to lose. One more blow landed on him, and he would lost the bet, and everyone in the Kudo manor that evening- and everyone who had allied themselves with the young detective known as Kudo Shinichi- would lose their lives.

For reasons he couldn't quite comprehend, he really didn't want that. Perhaps there was more of this so-called detective of the west that remained in him than he had first suspected- though he wasn't about to flatter himself like that. Perhaps it was only that he desperately wanted to prove to those he had decided to ally himself with- and indeed, to himself, that he wasn't _just_ a tool created for the Black Organization, forged out of someone who had once been their friend and ally.

Merlot had told him that he had no place here. Hell, he'd _agreed_ with her. Everything that he knew told him she was right, that he was only fooling himself trying to believe otherwise. Being here amongst people who treated him this way was like a nice dream- but that's all it was, and he would have to wake up from it someday.

But at the very least, he wanted to choose when that someday was _himself_. And he certainly couldn't do that if they were all _dead_. He wished that he could dredge some feelings up in him about the value of life and living things, but Merlot was also right about the fact that at his core, he _was_ an assassin- the lies that she had spoken to him on that day had long since become the truth. Even if he tried, there was nothing that he could do to change it. Even _if_ his memories came back, his instincts wouldn't fade.

"I've told you time and time again, stubbornness of your kind has no place in this trade, Paikaru." Merlot observed, her voice cool, sounding almost detached from the situation. The view from the rooftop of the building that she had selected as the location of their match was lovely- and the cool night breeze that blew through the air carried with it a promise of an early fall. "It's going to get you killed one of these days."

"Sorry for being stubborn." Paikaru couldn't help but quip, a hint of a fierce grin surfacing on his lips, pulling his hand away from his wound. "I'm going to guess that's one of my less desirable traits you couldn't manage to erase."

"It has it's merits." Merlot said simply, carefully pacing the roof, her eyes never quite leaving him, assessing every movement that he made. "It helped you learn quickly."

"Do you really think now that I know the truth, that I would ever willingly go back with you?" Paikaru asked, narrowing his eyes. "Even if you're right, and even if there's no place for me here, that doesn't mean I have to continue to accept the life that you forced on me."

"What other life have you known?" Merlot's words were simple, a slight shrug of her shoulders as she turned sharply on her heel to face him down. "There is nothing else you can be other than what you are, Paikaru. And what you _are_ is an assassin, and my pupil. One who needs more training, but one day will be a fine successor to my legacy. Surely you don't think that you can go back to being what you once were, dear child. You really should put such foolish notions aside."

"In case you haven't noticed, I _am_ an adult now." Paikaru noted, arching his brows, carefully studying her, looking for any open avenue of attack. There wasn't any, of course- she might be a good deal older than him, but clearly this was not a woman who had even begun to entertain the notion of retiring. "As for your question- I guess I'll figure it out myself. Maybe I can still become a detective again, in my own way. The only one who can really determine that is me."

"My, you've grown up." Merlot said. "As your mother, I'm quite proud of you Paikaru, misguided though you're getting."

"Yer _not_ my mother." Paikaru's words almost came out in a hiss, his eyes flashing with anger. He didn't even flinch as the sharp look surfaced in her eyes as he slipped once more into his native accent. "Don't make me laugh, Merlot. Ya don't have ta keep up that kind of act around me anymore."

"Mm, I suppose not." Merlot observed, taking two steps forward, moonlight glittering on the silver knife that she held in her hand. "But it is my truth, Paikaru. I suppose that I can't manage to erase your memories a second time, but your life would be far simpler if you accepted it as yours again. Tell me, child," she asked, only the slightest bit of weight shifted onto her left foot giving hint to her next move, as she closed the gap between them with a swiftness most women of her age did not possess. "...have you even so much as remembered a single thing?"

Though he flinched at her question, it wasn't enough to throw him off his guard, and Paikaru avoid her blow, all but dancing around the knife as it trailed a silver arc through the night sky. "No." He replied curtly, narrowing his eyes, avoiding her second blow, briefly grabbing her wrist- she slipped out of his hold as if she were smoke, however. "But I still might."

"And if you don't?" Merlot inquired, effortlessly stepping out of the way, avoiding her own pupil's strike, preparing a counterattack of her own. As Paikaru avoided it with the same amount of grace, in spite of his wounds, she could only beam softly, feeling a swell of pride in her chest. "What then? You've not once called yourself Hattori Heiji, I can't help but note."

"Because I'm not." Paikaru fully admitted, casting a glower towards her, managing to grab hold of one of her wrists and toss her this time, watching with growing annoyance as she landed on her feet, not the slightest bit winded. "The hell do you care anyways? If everything goes according to plan, you'll be rottin' away in a prison cell for the rest of your life anyways."

"And this is a fate that you'll somehow avoid yourself?" Merlot couldn't help but ask. "You seem to put an awful lot of faith into this Kudo Shinichi boy. How on earth did I manage to allow such a bad influence to get back into your life? My mistake, clearly."

In spite of himself, Paikaru couldn't help but snort at Shinichi being described as a bad influence- and couldn't help but wonder what he'd think of such a thing. Granted, he had no intention of telling him anything about tonight's events, but nevertheless. Watching as Merlot slightly shifted on one foot again, closing in on him, Paikaru quickly made a decision of his own.

She still largely avoid the bullet, the gunshot ringing out clearly in the night air. Carefully placing a hand against her cheek, where a faint trail of red was welling up, Merlot's expression almost looked vaguely satisfied. "There, you see! This is what you can do when you don't let your stubbornness blind you from the possibilities. Had I noticed you reach for your pistol a moment later, perhaps it would have been too late for even one as skilled as I am."

"I could still shoot ya again." Paikaru noted, grip on his pistol not wavering. "Never said that I wouldn't try an' kill ya right here, given half the chance."

He had made something of a deal with Hakuba to not kill anyone- but frankly, he thought that he was being a little naive in that department. There were some things that you couldn't settle unless the other person was dead- and although he placed a great amount of faith in Shinichi's plan and his skills as a detective, he was willing to admit that he thought his notion of trying to capture Gin and Merlot alive was foolish- childish, even. The whole thing would wrap up much faster and much easier if he were willing to kill him.

If it were just a matter of not wanting blood on his hands, then Paikaru would be willing to do it for him. What was the blood of one or two more people on his hands anyways? It was nothing at this point.

"You _are_ aware that if you shoot, and fail to kill me, that the terms of our bet are moot." Merlot said simply, amusement flashing through her eyes as anger flashed through Paikaru's own. Watching as he lowered his gun, tucking it back away, she plucked a handkerchief from her pocket, carefully wiping her knife of any blood, before she too, put it back away. "Very well then, Paikaru. This night I shall leave. As for tomorrow night, well- who knows for certain what tomorrow will bring, other than God?"

"Just get lost, Merlot." Paikaru grumbled. Confident in his skills with a firearm though he might be, he wasn't going to take the risk. "You can tell that old man that I'm a traitor, if ya like. I'm not comin' back. I might not belong here, but I sure as heck don't belong over there either."

"Very well, Paikaru, suit yourself." Merlot said simply, heaving a long sigh. "I suppose it's my duty to be supportive of your decisions, however wrongheaded they are. In time though, I think you will come to understand- and know that I will always be waiting, with open arms, for you to come back home."

As she turned on her heel to depart, Paikaru briefly considered trying to shoot her again- but even with her back turned, he had the feeling that he _still_ didn't have an advantage over her. His name might be feared in certain circles- but compared to him, the one who had taught him everything that he knew was a goddamn _monster_ , in every sense of the word.

The worst part was, there was some part of her offer that was actually _tempting_ \- the idea of putting everything that he had learned over the past two days behind him, pretending once again that the lie he'd been told was the truth, would be so much _easier_ than trying to deal with the actual truth. But that, he vowed, he would not do- because there were people who were waiting for Hattori Heiji- and they were people who more than deserved him.

Even if he was just a shell of him.

* * *

Step one- obtain bandages.

Step two- feel grateful that the general knowledge leftover from your previous life still included first aid knowledge.

Step three- apply said knowledge.

Paikaru had earned quite the long look from the young man behind the counter of the convenience store he'd gone into to obtain bandages, and he had returned it all the same. The man wordlessly checked him out, even as his gaze drifted down towards the blood stained hoodie that he still wore, hood twitched up in an effort to somewhat conceal his face- mostly from the security cameras, really. If there was one thing good about the color black, it was the fact that it concealed just how much blood there was on said hoodie in the first place. And while some of it dripped on the floor behind him, honestly, who really cared at this point?

Finding a place to perform step three was a bit more of a challenge, since apparently, his general knowledge did not in fact, contain any kind of in depth knowledge of Tokyo's streets. He wasn't lost, mind you, he just wasn't quite certain where the most out of the way areas were. He was quite a bit away from the Kudo manor now, and tending to his wounds as soon as possible was a rather pressing need. So when he stumbled upon the out of the way park, Paikaru thought that he was in luck.

He had only gotten as far as cracking open the container in which the bandages were in, before he quickly realized that he wasn't alone. His first instinct was to reach for his concealed pistol, eyes narrowing as he turned to face whoever it might be that had fallen into step behind him. Odds are, it was probably no one- but he couldn't be too careless, not in his line of work, not when there were plenty of people who wanted him dead.

Vivid green eyes were illuminated by the street lamp just beyond him, glittering in the dark night like emeralds. For a moment, it took him a second to place the face, struggling to understand why it seemed as if he knew it- but it was the woman's own words that allowed him to piece that together, her voice shaking almost in disbelief.

"...H-Heiji?"

As recognition slowly dawned across his face, Paikaru almost found himself frozen in time. The faintest of gears seemed to click within the depths of his head, and for a brief moment, an image surfaced within it- the sight of a crowded bridge, a young girl with a scarf and a rather flashily dressed man. And though the image itself was ephemeral, disappearing almost as quickly as it came, the words lingered, the vaguest hint of a memory bubbling up to the surface.

 _Since when did I become yours?_

Unbidden, a name slipped out from his lips.

"Kazuha."


	11. Kazuha

**AN** : It's here at last, the much awaited update! I hope everyone enjoys reading this, given how excited ya'll were for it last chapter, so I hope it doesn't disappoint! It's been awhile since I wrote a chapter that only had one scene in it, but it felt appropriate to solely focus on this one thing for this chapter. Anyways, thanks for reading, and as always, please leave a review on your way out!

Until next time!

* * *

 **Phantasmal Black**

 **Chapter Eleven**

 **Kazuha**

* * *

It had started with the faintest of tugs on her little finger.

If one were to ask her, then she would have no discernible answer for why she had decided to take this path in the first place. It had simply been some kind of instinct, a vague feeling crawling up the back of her neck, as the faint tug on her little finger grew stronger with every step that she took. For some reason, she found her heart pounding loudly in her chest, echoing in her ears. She didn't know quite why she had taken this path, but she had the strangest idea that she knew what she would find at the end of it.

She had always believed that she and Heiji were connected by the red string of fate- even if it took her awhile to realize it herself. Sometimes, she didn't know what it was she saw in him- whenever he flaked on her, or blew off a promise, she wondered why on earth it had been _him_ of all people she had fallen in love with. And yet she couldn't deny her feelings, especially as they grew and grew. She would always tell herself that this time, she would try and confess to him- this time, she would do it for sure.

In the end, she had missed her chance, and Heiji had vanished from her world without ever knowing the truth. It had been at the funeral, where Shinichi had told her with almost expressionless eyes, what he knew of Heiji's feelings, the truth that he had always been wanting to tell her himself- and now no longer could. At the time, she thought she had used up all of her tears- but it appeared that she still had a few left, coming out unbidden. Mourning what could have been, mourning what now couldn't be.

But not once had she ever truly felt as if their connection had been severed.

She almost missed the figure, sitting in the dark as he was. Between his black clothes, dark hair, and dark skin, he almost melted into the darkness itself, as if he and it were one and the same. But Kazuha knew- even without seeing his face, she _knew_. It was an intense, overpowering sensation that sent a surge of memory through her, visions of her childhood friend flashing through her head, seeing echoes of his bright smile dancing just beyond her. Once again, once more, he was right there in front of her, and for a moment, it was almost as if no time had passed at all.

When her name escaped from his lips, those blue eyes that she had come to know so well as they grew up together fixed upon her, she felt everything come to her at once, all in a rush. She had always believed that somewhere out there, that he was still alive- that there was no possible way that he could be dead. She always held on to the belief that one day, their paths would cross again, perhaps in the most unexpected of ways. That one day, the same fate that tied them together, only to break them apart, would bring them back together again, connecting them once more.

"It really _is_ you." Kazuha took a step forward, feeling her breath catch in her throat. She half wondered if he would disappear if she so much as blinked, wondering if perhaps she had never left her hotel room, and was now fast asleep in her bed, simply dreaming this encounter. "Heiji!"

Taking another step forward, half intending to throw her arms around him- goodness, but he had grown up rather well, she couldn't help but think in the back of her mind- Kazuha quickly halted, realizing that there was something very _wrong_ with this scene. In the dark of the night, and against the dark of his clothes, it was hard to make out- but she was almost entirely certain that was _blood_ staining his clothes.

"Heiji, are ya hurt?" Kazuha asked, a million questions racing through her mind all at once. Where have you been? Why didn't you come home? Why are you here _now_? Are you really-? And while this question might not be the most important one, it was the most pressing, and thus, it came out before any of the others. "Do I need ta call an ambulance? That doesn't look good."

Opening and shutting his mouth, he could only avert his eyes from her. He never expected that something like this would happen- that the two of them would just simply cross paths like this. Some might say that it was fate at work- but such a thing as fate surely didn't exist. And in such a situation as well- placing a hand over his wound, Paikaru's eyes narrowed, wondering what he should say to this girl that he barely remembered. Tell her the truth? It wasn't possible to convince her that she had the wrong person, even though he half felt that she did.

He was, but he wasn't. Fighting back Merlot's taunts, fighting back her promise of an easier existence if he laid aside what he knew about his true past, accepting that he could never be anything other than who he had become, Paikaru tried instead to focus at the matter now at hand.

Kazuha's name had slipped out of him without even thinking about it, but he knew that if he hadn't been shown the recent picture of her by Shinichi yesterday, that he never would have recognized her in the first place. At least, that's what he felt- there was no great surge of memories welling up in him upon seeing her. There had been the faintest tug at his memory, true enough- but aside from those brief hints and vague images, nothing more bubbled forward, and trying to pursue them only caused his head to ache with pain.

"Heiji-" Taking another step forward, a worried look crossing her face as he remained increasingly silent, an unfamiliar expression crossing the face of her childhood friend, Kazuha's brows furrowed together as he raised a hand, silently leveling his gaze with her. It was the eyes alone that nearly made her stop in her tracks- for all that she knew them so well, for all that she had recognized them in an instant upon first glance, there was something- _someone_ \- within them that she _didn't_ know.

"Stop it." Paikaru finally spoke, lowering his hand once he realized she'd come to a stop. "Don't get any closer."

At the sound of his voice, Kazuha briefly found herself taken aback- there was something _wrong_ with it, she knew that at once. Taking a slight step backwards, she carefully searched his eyes, once more feeling that dark, cold feeling bubble up within her gut. No, it wasn't his voice that his the problem- it had gotten somewhat deeper since growing into adulthood, but it was otherwise mostly the same. Rather, the problem lay in his manner of speech, his accent. Since when was Heiji able to speak in such a standard Tokyo dialect? He'd always been the type to struggle with it, she knew that much from the one time he'd tried to badly impersonate Shinichi. It was more than just the way that he spoke, however- there was something in his gaze, something in the way he moved that she didn't know, didn't recognize.

Even though every part of him was screaming at her that this was none other than Hattori Heiji, her childhood friend, who the entire world thought dead. And yet at the same time, once the moment passed, and once she gauged him a little better, somehow she got the strangest impression that she didn't know this person at all. It was as if a stranger had appeared before her, wearing Heiji's face, speaking with his voice.

"Who are you?" These words too slipped out without thinking, but Kazuha didn't take them back once she had spoken them. Even as what she knew to be pain danced through the young man's eyes, she didn't take them back. Watching as he rose to his feet, gathering his things neatly with one hand, she felt something clench within her heart as a smile that was unlike the one she remembered appeared on his face, laced with what she could only see as regret.

It was then that she wished to take back her unbidden words.

"I'm not really sure how you want me to answer that question." Paikaru spoke again, pressing his hand up against his wound, using the pressure to stop it's bleeding for the moment. Well, he wouldn't die from something minor like this. "I don't really have a good one for you. It seems that you've mistaken me for someone else."

"That's not-!" Kazuha found herself saying without thinking, even as she cut off her own protest. "You said my name."

"I know." Paikaru said after a moment, closing his eyes. "I did."

"Why?" Kazuha asked, forcing herself to look up at him, to lock eyes with him. "There's no way I could have mistaken ya fer someone else, ya have ta be Heiji! But you..."

There was a long pause then, as Paikaru was the one who broke eye contact with her, unable to hold it. Just as he thought, there was no way that he could fool the people who had known Hattori Heiji the best- there was no way that he could ever pretend to be him, not when he didn't remember the first thing about him. This woman, this Toyama Kazuha, who had known him for all of his years of life, right before he'd vanished to give way to himself, to give way to _Paikaru_ , looked at him as if she barely knew him.

And yet for some reason, he found himself not wanting to turn her away. God, but maybe Shinichi's crackpot theory had been _right_.

"I was shown a photo of you." Paikaru said after a moment. "That's where I learned your name from. That's all. I know who you're looking for when you look at me, but I don't know what to do to help you, Ka-" Her first name almost slipped out of him, and he had to bite his tongue to keep from saying it. He didn't have the right, he didn't know her. "Toyama-san. My memories only go back five years."

Hearing that unfamiliar form of address was almost like a bullet to her heart, and it was a wonder that she was still standing after taking it. Searching his eyes again, she realized that he was telling the truth. Certainly, it had been one scenario that she had always imagined, one reason as to why Heiji couldn't return to her side, but- but still, she couldn't have imagined that it would have brought such a change to him.

It was the sinking feeling in her gut, as she slowly started to put the pieces together against her wishes, that told her the likely reason why. The culprit wasn't just memory loss- the real culprit as to why she couldn't fully recognize her childhood friend behind those eyes was something else, something far more sinister.

The timing really was too perfect.

 _No_.

The faintest of cries from within her heart was all she dared to let out- before Kazuha steeled herself, taking in a long breath. The way Shinichi had left so suddenly on the night of the memorial. The way that he had avoided giving too much detail about the Organization member they'd linked up with, Paikaru. Hakuba's unexpected defense of him. Sera's insistence that he would be someone that she would get along with. Even Ran's slightly peculiar behavior that evening. The stack of Ellery Queen novels, those familiar eyes on her back. The look in Shinichi's eyes when she had spoken such cold words, pointing out the absurdity of allying themselves with an assassin.

A young man with a dark complexion.

Paikaru.

 _No_.

How could it have ended up this way? Heiji had nearly lost his life to these people- and for such a thing to be true now, for him to have _become_ one of them- he _wouldn't_. He never would. For Heiji, her precious childhood friend, who brought murderers to justice, for him to become one himself, of the worst of sort... it was impossible. Such a thing couldn't possibly be true.

But that was Heiji _with_ his memories. For a Heiji who didn't even know that was even his name, things were different. There had been a spark, faint and momentary, when they had first locked eyes- but it had vanished almost as quickly as it had come. If he'd remembered something in that instant, it wasn't nearly enough.

 _"At the very least, we don't think he_ _ **willingly**_ _became an assassin."_

 _"...Paikaru's circumstances are_ _ **special**_ _, from what I've gathered."_

"Five years." Kazuha finally spoke, swallowing a little, feeling the weight of everything hit her like a pile of bricks. She stood steady however, not wavering- not now, not in front of this person, who was Heiji and also wasn't quite Heiji, this person that he should have never become in the first place. Her first instinct was to lash out with anger, with frustration, that he could have the gall to stand in front of her with that face, with that voice- but that was useless. It wasn't his fault. She couldn't blame him, she couldn't hate him.

A Heiji that wasn't quite Heiji was, in the end, still Heiji.

She had been waiting for Heiji to come home all this time, and she had always vowed that even if he had lost his memories, she would accept and embrace him no matter what. Lashing out with hate and anger to someone who had no choice in the matter of what he'd become, because he wasn't someone that he couldn't remember, was the exact opposite of that. There was a story here, that much Kazuha could sense- if he really were some kind of monster, there wouldn't be that look of regret, of remorse in his eyes, that apologetic tone to his voice.

He knew what he had done, and carried it with him, even now. Perhaps it might be something that was as easy for him as breathing- but he still hadn't truly forgotten the value of a life. And in front of her, that burden was almost more than he could take, as if he couldn't even face her. She wondered what it was that Shinichi had told him, and how much of the truth that he knew. She wondered how he had become like this, and who it was that she should be turning all of her anger towards, all of her hate, redirecting it to the one, true culprit behind all of this.

There was someone to be angry at in this scenario, to be sure, but it wasn't him.

"Five years ago, my childhood friend, Hattori Heiji was nearly killed, an' went missin'. I've been lookin' fer him ever since." Kazuha said, taking a slight step forward, almost hesitating for a moment. As something shifted in those blue eyes, she felt her gaze soften a little- it was more than just the fact that they had the same face. There were still traces, when she looked, of the one that she knew, had grown up with, of the one that she had fallen in love with. He was still there, it wasn't as if he had disappeared along with his memories. "Everyone thought he was dead, everyone gave up hope but I knew- I _knew_ that he was out there somewhere, just unable ta come back ta us fer some reason."

The charm that hung around her neck, she thought, was rather warm. And even in the dark of night, faintly, she could make out a worn purple string twined about his own neck. She didn't need to ask to know what it was. She knew.

There was a long moment of silence then, neither of them quite knowing what to say to the other- before Kazuha once again broke it, looking up to face him. The slightest trace of a smile made it's way to her face- though it wasn't really one of happiness. "I guess I can finally understand why."

"I-" Paikaru opened his mouth, watching as Kazuha shook her head, reaching out and snatching the bag of medical supplies from his hand. She didn't miss the way he flinched as she did so, but put it aside.

"We can talk more properly once we treat yer wound." Kazuha said simply, shaking her head. "Kudo-kun told me enough earlier. Now, show it ta me. I know first aid myself, ya know."

"I didn't." Paikaru admitted after a moment, half unsure what to do with himself in this situation. He didn't want to push her away, in spite of the rather complicated array of feelings that she had racing around in his head. And for reasons he didn't fully understand, it didn't appear that she was going to push him away either- in spite of the fact that she had silently arrived at the truth herself. He didn't understand.

He had thought those who had been closest to who he was would resent him the most. Especially after those cold words that she had spoken earlier, a cold tone of distrust and disbelief to her voice at the mere prospect of allying themselves with him. Of course, she hadn't known then- but he had struggled to imagine that knowing would change things all that much. If anything, he had expected her to act something more like Hakuba- or even worse.

"Well, now ya do." Kazuha said simply. "That's one more thing ya know about me now. Come on, I can't tend to it if ya don't show me it. How did ya get injured anyways?"

"Got into a fight." Paikaru curtly mumbled, finally complying with her request, and tugging up the material of his hoodie and his shirt alike. He didn't miss the way her fingers twitched a little as she caught sight of the pistol that had been holstered in his belt, as he deftly picked it out with his free hand, setting it aside, so that it wouldn't get in the way of the bandages. She had already drawn the right conclusion, but seeing him with something like that was something else.

Well, perhaps she really shouldn't say anything. Her job also required her to carry one- and while her job revolved around helping people, she knew full well that even within her line of work, there were those who still used them for wicked things- too many, really. An instrument of murder was always an instrument of murder, regardless of who carried them.

The faint traces of an old scar, from a gunshot wound that Heiji had obtained while saving someone's life, stood out to her even within the darkness of the night. Strangely, it was comforting to see- even if she could make out the sight of other faint scar traces that dotted his lower torso. Wordlessly, she bit back any comments for the moment, instead focusing herself on treating his injury. He hadn't given her any specifics, but for someone like him to get hurt in a fight, then his opponent must have been someone rather strong.

He didn't even wince as she disinfected it with the rubbing alcohol, and that too, caused her to suck in her own breath. Cleaning it up as best she could, she carefully wound bandages around his lower torso, making sure that they were tight, but not too tight. She didn't miss the way that each time one of her fingers trailed too close to his skin, the one before her flinched- she got the feeling that he wasn't used to close physical contact- at least, not of the _good_ kind.

Heiji was different, in that regard. He lived for that sort of thing.

"There." Kazuha said, pulling away from him, watching as he seemed to breathe easier once she was outside of his personal space. "All done. Thanks fer yer patience."

"You're pretty good at that." Paikaru couldn't help but observe, taking a moment to study the applied bandages, before he pulled his clothes back down, tucking his pistol back away once more. He didn't miss the way Kazuha's gaze followed it as it disappeared back to whence it had came, but whatever she was thinking, she was keeping it to herself. "...Thanks, I guess."

"Yer welcome." Kazuha said, brushing a stray strand behind her ear as she looked up at him, a faint smile tracing her lips. "Yer stayin' with Kudo-kun, aren't ya?"

"Yeah." Paikaru said after a moment, slowly nodding his head. "I am. Toyama-san-"

"It's Kazuha." Kazuha said after a moment, her expression softening somewhat. So this is what Sera had meant by him not being a monster- well of course he wouldn't be. Even with memory loss, even though he had obviously been lied to about who he was, there was no force on earth that could change someone like Heiji into a complete monster. "You can call me Kazuha. We're childhood friends, after all, even if ya don't remember that much, Heiji."

"I'm not-" Paikaru began, opening his mouth and shutting it again, shaking his head. "I don't know if I can _be_ Hattori Heiji for you, Toyama-san."

" _Ka-zu-ha._ " Kazuha repeated, carefully enunciating each syllable. "An' don't be ridiculous! Even if ya don't remember that much, that doesn't change the fact that yer Hattori Heiji. That's only one person in the whole world who's a big enough idiot ta try an' bandage himself up in the dark, after all!"

"You know though, don't you?" Paikaru asked, his eyes narrowing, searching those green of hers, for some sign of something that he was expecting, some kind of rejection. Why? He didn't understand. Why didn't she resent him? Why was she treating him that? It wasn't as if she was entirely wrong, but still... "About who I am."

"I know." Kazuha said after a moment, her gaze falling away from him. Taking in and letting out a long breath, she turned her eyes back up towards him, locking hers with his. "I _know_. I'm not a great detective, but even I can put two an' two together when ya give me this many clues. Right from the start, I always had this awful feelin' in my gut whenever that codename was brought up, an' even more so when Hakuba-san finally got a description of him- of _you_ \- but..."

"Heiji is still Heiji, after all." Kazuha said, carefully reaching out, taking his hand in her own. There it was- the scar that she remembered so clearly, the one that she had given him herself. In the dark night, she hadn't taken notice of the Lichtenberg scars that dotted that same hand now before, and she forced herself to close her eyes once more, still refusing to drop his hand. "There's no force on earth that can change that. Even if ya don't remember, even if yer..."

Her grip on his hand tightened again in spite of herself, but she forced her eyes open once more, turning to look up at him. "There's a proper conversation that needs ta be had between the two of us, but I've been waitin' an' waitin' fer you ta come home all this time, Heiji. Whatever the circumstances are, no matter how bad things are, that's not a fact that will change."

"I imagine that yer goin' through some stuff on yer own as it is, an' I won't try an' talk over that." Kazuha said after a moment, letting her smile grow somewhat. "I don't know the full story either, but I can guess at bits an' pieces of it, given yer memory loss. It must be confusin', right? To suddenly have all of these people around ya, actin' like they know ya, yet ya don't feel like ya've ever met them before."

"That much I can admit." Paikaru said after a moment, using his free hand to scratch his cheek, wondering what Kazuha's expression seemed to soften as he did so. "It's been one hell of a week, an' it's only been about three days."

"Ah, that's more like it!" Kazuha said, her eyes almost sparkling, seeming to light up the darkness for a second. "Ya don't need ta try an' speak proper Japanese around me, Heiji! Rather, I'm just surprised that ya've managed ta get so good at it! But this way is much more natural fer ya, right?"

Blinking a little, half not realizing he had slipped back into his Osakan accent, Paikaru couldn't help but feel the edges of a faint smile pull at his lips. "Well, yer not wrong about that. But that name..."

"Name?" Kazuha asked, blinking a little. It wasn't hard for her to determine what he meant, though. When she thought about it, it made perfect sense. "Ah, that's right. I guess it's pretty strange ta be called a name yer not familiar with, right?" She admitted, finally letting go of his hand. "But ya really are him, aren't you? Yer really..."

"Paikaru." As the codename slipped out of his lips, he watched Kazuha's body tense- before she drew in and let out another breath, steeling herself once more. She'd braced herself for the impact, but it still hurt. "Ya don't have ta use it though if ya can't manage it though, Toy-"

"Ka _zu_ **ha**." Kazuha repeated, sharply cutting him off, shaking her head. "I'll manage it. Now then. Yer stayin' with Kudo-kun, right? I'll walk ya back there. We can talk along the way, if ya want."

"I don't need ta be escorted back." Paikaru couldn't help but note, slightly quirking a brow. Honestly, he wasn't certain what he had expected this woman to be like- but she wasn't anything like what he was expecting. "Shouldn't ya be asleep now, anyways? It's past midnight."

"I could say the same fer ya." Kazuha noted, raising her brows. "An' given the state yer in, I'd say _somethin_ ' happened." Locking eyes with him briefly, a rather serious expression crossed her face. "Did she come here? That one called Merlot?"

Giving her nothing more than a long look for a moment, Paikaru eventually let an annoyed sigh escape from his lips, sensing that she would keep pressing if he wasn't honest. "She did. Showed up in front of Kudo-han's place. I had ta chase her away fer the time being."

"But she'll come back, right?" Kazuha asked, a slightly nervous note to her voice. After all, right now, Ran was _also_ staying at Shinichi's place- what if something had already happened to her? "Should we be hurryin' then?"

"No." Paikaru said, shaking his head. As much as she wanted to take him back, he didn't have any reason to believe that she wouldn't uphold her end of the bargain- for tonight at least. Tomorrow night would be a different story, however. "At the very least, Merlot's a woman of her word. If she makes a promise, she doesn't go back on it, even if it's ta her disadvantage. Says it's her pride or somethin'."

Letting out a slight sigh of relief, Kazuha placed a hand over her heart as she did so. "Well, that's good." She said, turning around on her heel. There was the faintest of crawling sensations as she turned her back on him, her fine tuned instincts as a martial artist warning her that this wasn't a wise move- but she shoved them aside. Whatever might happened to him, even if he didn't have his memories, Heiji was still Heiji. The proof of that was in the fact that he had allied himself with Shinichi even now, really.

Sera was right. Paikaru wasn't a monster. He had _done_ monstrous things, things she didn't know if she could really forgive him for- but somehow, she didn't think he would blame her for that. Even if there was some small part of her that wanted to hate him, to resent him, feeling that he had stolen Heiji away from her, to hurry up and give him back already- it wasn't his fault. He hadn't asked to lose his memories, hadn't asked to be taken advantage of.

If their situations were reversed, she didn't doubt that Heiji would still welcome her home with open arms.

"It must have been scary, wakin' up with no memories." Kazuha said, realizing that the moment of silence had dragged on for much longer than a mere moment. "Do ya wanna tell me the story, He-" Biting back the name that she knew so well, that even now, wanted to surge forward from her lips, Kazuha took in a deep breath, sparing a glance back towards him. That haunted look in those blue eyes was something she had never really seen before- and frankly, she didn't really like it. If she could do something in her power to prevent it, she would.

If she had known that when her beloved childhood friend would finally return home, he would come back carrying identity issues with him, she would have studied up on psychology. What was the correct thing to do here? Use his real name, in spite of the way it clearly twisted at him? Use the codename that had been given to him in lieu of it, one that twisted at her? Maybe if she kept using his real name, he'd get used to it after awhile- names had power, after all, and perhaps the name would bring more and more of the Heiji she knew out of him.

But, she didn't want to make him uncomfortable in the process. Wasn't that just being selfish of her? Frankly, she didn't know what the correct answer was, so she simply decided to do as she had been asked- if she wanted him to call her by her first name, after all, then at the very least, she could call him by the name he asked to be called by in turn. For now, at least- maybe things would change.

Hopefully, his memories would return. If they didn't... well, that would be a hurdle they would overcome when it became clear that it might not happen.

"Paikaru." Kazuha said finally, casting him a small smile, before she turned back around, facing the front again. Lacing her fingers together behind her back, she took several steps forward. "If ya wanna tell me all about it, I'd be willin' ta listen."

"Yer weird." Paikaru couldn't help but note, even as he fell into step behind her. It was with practiced care that he didn't outpace her- his stride was naturally longer than hers, after all. Strangely enough, there was almost something faintly nostalgic about this. He couldn't really remember anything- but it definitely didn't feel like this was the first time he had done this, walking just behind this person. "Between you an' that Neechan- super weird."

"Ah, ya call her Neechan still?" Kazuha asked, glancing back at him, her smile even stronger this time. "But I see. So Ran-chan figured it out after all. No wonder she was actin' so weird when she came back ta her place this evening. I thought somethin' was odd."

"Well, it just came naturally." Paikaru admitted after a moment, scratching one of his cheeks, his gaze darting away from her. Really, it felt like he was meeting nothing but weird people lately- or maybe _he_ was the weird one? "...I guess it was kinda scary." He admitted after a moment, closing his eyes. For a moment, he found himself back in the shoes of that newly amnesiac seventeen year old boy, waking with no real knowledge of who he was, and too much knowledge of things he felt no decent person should know.

"I'd imagine." Kazuha said, nodding her head. "How did ya end up with them?"

"That woman- _Merlot_ \- was the one who found me in the first place." Paikaru said finally, tucking his hands in his pockets. There was a strange air between them- calming, really. It was almost enough to lull him into dropping his guard- _almost_. Still, it was the more enough to make things flow a little more freely than they usually would. "She saved my life, I guess ya could say, an' I guess when I woke up an' revealed that I didn't know anythin', it must have been like Christmas mornin' fer her."

"She lied ta ya." Kazuha said, casting her eyes downwards, tracing her footsteps as she put one foot in front of the other. "That's horrible."

He couldn't say anything to that, really. Casting his gaze upwards, watching the faint twinkling of the stars in the sky, Paikaru took in and let out a long breath. "I spent five years livin' a total lie. What's worse is that I figured out it was pretty much a lie on my own, but at that point, there was nothin' that I really could do. I thought that maybe once I was in Japan, I could link up with that Kudo Shinichi fellow, an' use him as an avenue of escape, but..."

Shrugging his shoulders, he found a rather sheepish grin crossing his face. Somehow, speaking with this person felt as if it were the most natural thing in the world- was that what it meant, then, to have a childhood friend? Even though the memories were gone, did the feelings, long ingrained into him, remain behind? "I didn't expect that he would be the one lookin' fer _me_."

He wasn't used to being this honest. But at the same time- it wasn't really a bad feeling.

"Kudo-kun must have been pretty shocked as well!" Kazuha said, allowing a faint laugh to escape from her lips. Nothing was funny, but she found herself doing it anyways. At first, she wondered how actually speaking with him would go- but at it's core, it didn't feel too different than it was when it came to speaking to Heiji. Less bickering, maybe, but while she could already find herself picking out places where they weren't the same, and where they weren't the same, the overall feeling was the same. "What sort of things has he told ya?"

"My name. My real one." Paikaru said after a moment, pulling his gaze away from the glittering stars, and back downwards, watching the woman that walked with careful paces in front of him. "What sort of person I was. Those sorts of things. Showed me pictures as well, though it's still a bit hard fer me ta wrap my head around, really. I believe him though."

"I'm sure he'll do whatever he can fer ya." Kazuha said. Deep down in her heart, she fully understood what she was saying here- considering that she had been chasing Paikaru all this time trying to get him to pay for his crimes, she didn't miss how much she had changed her tune once she learned the truth of who he was. Just because it was Heiji, didn't mean that he could be forgiven for what he had done, didn't mean that his crimes could just be washed away- but because it was Heiji, she couldn't carry hate within her heart. There were ways that he could begin to redeem himself- and somehow, she knew that he would. "It's not yer fault that ya ended up in this situation. There's definitely arrangements that can be made."

Perhaps he could never _truly_ redeem himself- but trying to do so anyways wasn't meaningless. Maybe the FBI or the CIA, or even the Secret Police, all the groups that Shinichi had deep ties to, might have need of someone of his talents- and maybe they'd be willing to overlook the things that he had done in order to obtain them. He'd probably never live a normal life again- but any hope of that had vanished long ago, the first time he'd been given _that name_.

Living the best life that he could, even if it wasn't normal, wasn't bad.

"No." Paikaru admitted finally, closing his eyes. "But everythin' that happened afterwards was."

There was silence between the two of them then- but it wasn't heavy nor uncomfortable. It was simply there. "It's a good thing, ya know." Kazuha said finally, breaking it herself, unlinking her fingers from one another, feeling her bones crack as she stretched them out in front of her. "The fact that ya feel regret like that. I don't think yer heart has changed that much, really."

"We just met." Paikaru pointed out, once more wondering about the strange woman before him. "Don't ya think it's a little too early ta be sayin' that sort of thing? Just because I might feel somethin' akin ta regret now an' again doesn't mean that I couldn't still do it if I wanted ta. Wouldn't even think twice about it really."

"With time, that will change." Kazuha promised him. "Ya've been livin' that kind of life fer five years, after all. We can't expect ya ta recover right away, that's just unreasonable. Take things one step at a time, as ya need ta, Paikaru. If ya rush, ya might only make things worse fer yerself."

"Well, although I'm not expert on psychology myself, but that sounds kind of right, ya know?" Kazuha said, glancing back towards him, giving him something of a sheepish smile of her own, the red tint to her cheeks coming from her own embarrassment at her words. Honestly, she might just be getting ahead of herself here. "Besides, I have plenty of time ta get ta know ya again, an' more importantly, you'll have plenty of time ta get ta know _me_ again. At least, once we bring down those Organization bastards, that is."

"I'm _one_ of those Organization bastards, ya know." Paikaru pointed out. "I still feel like I belong more over there than I do over here."

"An' yet, yer still here." Kazuha said, coming to a stop, turning around to face him, a bright smile crossing her face. "That speaks louder about ya than anythin' else."

"What if I never remember anythin'?" Paikaru asked, tilting his head to the side.

"Then, we can make new memories." Kazuha said simply. "An' fer what ya don't remember, I'll carry it right here in my heart fer ya."

"Ya really _are_ a weird person." Paikaru repeated, narrowing his eyes a little- before he managed to crack something of a smile. If there was a look of pain and regret every time such an expression crossed his face around Shinichi, then the look that blossomed on Kazuha's face couldn't be more different- as she met his smile with that of her own.

She knew that smile. That smile she had been waiting to see again all of this time. It hadn't changed.

"Sorry fer bein' weird, _idiot_!" Kazuha said sharply, feeling the faintest pinpricks of tears forming at the edge of her eyes, which she forced back. "Besides, I don't want ta hear that from someone with _amnesia_! That's pretty weird in it's own right."

"I guess ya've got a point there, Kazuha." Paikaru admitted, allowing the name that came so naturally to him slip from him once more- and this time, he didn't move to take it back.

"Ya finally called me by my name again." Kazuha said, her expression growing soft- before it turned into a wide, almost impish grin of her own, as she turned around on her heel. "Now then, let's hurry an' get back ta Kudo-kun's place! There's some _words_ I wanna have with those two detective jerks, after all~. They _definitely_ aren't waitin' until mornin' ta be said either!"

 _Ah_. Paikaru blinked, finding himself snorting a little, his smile strangely growing. For some reason, that killing intent felt nostalgic too.

Though he kind of got the impression that in the past, it had largely been directed at _himself_.


	12. Faith

**AN** : And here's chapter twelve, hot off the presses for everyone to read and enjoy! As always, I want to take some time out to thank everyone for their support of this story, especially those of you who take the time to leave reviews! You really make my day! Anyways, thanks for reading, and until next time!

* * *

 **Phantasmal Black**

 **Chapter Twelve**

 **Faith**

* * *

He had fully expected that Kazuha would be angry with him when she learned the truth. He just hadn't expected _how_ angry.

Though she had gotten most of it out of her system last night- or rather, early in the morning, he thought, letting out a slight yawn- it was clear that she was still more than a little miffed at him. A one AM house call from a furious Kazuha was not on his list of things that he had anticipated to happen, and if he had to be honest, he had been completely taken off guard when she turned up out of the blue, dragging him out of bed with the most bone chilling smile he had ever seen. In that moment, between the police officer and the assassin, he was definitely more afraid of the _cop_. At the very least, he hadn't suffered through it alone- Hakuba was on the receiving end of her inferno of a temper even more than he was.

Somehow he wasn't all that surprised when Ran reported to him later that when she had found Paikaru, it almost seemed as if all of his systems had overheated. If he had been holding it in the entire time he had been talking with Kazuha from when they met, then all of those flustered emotions he didn't know how to handle had come out all at once- rendering him momentarily unable to do anything more complex than crouch in a ball, trying to sort through feelings that he didn't quite understand.

He'd joked about Paikaru being unable to handle Kazuha if the slightest bit of kindness from himself could send him into a flustered mess, but apparently, he was completely on the mark. Kazuha would probably think it was cute, if she knew.

"Are ya sure ya don't want some _real_ coffee, Kudo-han?"

Paikaru's voice broke him out of his thoughts, and Shinichi very quickly shook his head. He had made _damn sure_ to wake up before him this time- and thus, prevent him from making that monstrously powerful coffee yet again. He'd sulked a little when Shinichi had presented him with a cup of his preferred blend, mumbling underneath his breath that it just tasted like bean water. Somehow, he wasn't quite certain how, Shinichi had managed to bite back a comment about how that was what _all_ coffee was, really.

Hakuba had said it for him, of course.

"No, no, this stuff is more than strong enough for me." Shinichi told him, casting a quick smile over towards the somewhat skeptical assassin. "Sorry, Paikaru, but I'm pretty sure if I tried drinking the stuff you made yesterday again, it might _actually_ kill me."

"An' put my hard work ta waste." Paikaru muttered underneath his breath, his voice so low that Shinichi could barely hear him. Leaning back in his chair, he frowned at the coffee mug in his hand, before he set it down, pushing it aside. "Well, whatever."

"I'm just surprised you didn't take her up on her offer, Paikaru." Hakuba noted, casting a doubtful glance over towards him. That Merlot had attempted to infiltrate the manor last night was a bit of information that they had gotten from Kazuha, and not Paikaru himself- and frankly, he saw no reason to doubt it. It was only once Kazuha had said that much that they finally managed to pry the details from the assassin himself. That she had come this far was worrisome- but he had to admit, Paikaru had exceeded his expectations this time. Perhaps he should give him a _bit_ more credit.

"Don't say such things, Hakuba-san!" Kazuha interjected, casting a fierce glower at him, slamming her own coffee mug down on the table, drawing his- and everyone else's- attention to her. "Honestly, if he hadn't been there, ya might be dead right now, so give him a bit of appreciation!"

Not quite catching the way that Paikaru turned his head away, desperately trying to conceal the red color that had tinted his cheeks, Hakuba frowned. To think that the two of them would have simply crossed paths like this, in a manner in which none of them could have prevented- it was outside of his expectations. The fact that Kazuha had accepted the truth with apparent ease, and was interacting with Paikaru in a manner that seemed no different from how she had interacted with Heiji in the past, was also outside of his expectations.

Perhaps _he_ was the strange one here? No, that was probably wasn't the case. As the only one of this group who _didn't_ know Hattori Heiji all that well- or even really _like_ him to begin with, he supposed that he was viewing everything from a more logical perspective. He could only hope that their attachments to the one once known as the high school detective of the west wouldn't backfire on them all.

"I suppose that much is true." Hakuba admitted after a moment, sparing a glance over towards Paikaru. "As I said last night, I suppose thanks are in order."

"Hakuba-kun is right." Ran said, glancing over towards Paikaru with a smile. Even though the thought of the close call that they had narrowly avoided gave her chills, she felt it was proof that the fundamental things that had made up Heiji hadn't really changed. "Thank you, Paikaru."

"I didn't do anythin' that needs thanks." Paikaru muttered, unable to quite look them in the eyes, fighting the urge to all but bolt from the kitchen. Would he ever get used to this kind of thing? "Just consider it payback fer not turnin' me in just yet."

Those words cast something of an awkward silence across the kitchen table where everyone had gathered for breakfast, leaving Ran to let out a slight sigh. Were it not for that tense air that hung about them even during cheerful parts of their conversation- and the presence of Hakuba- it was almost just like it was in the past, when Heiji and Kazuha had come over for a visit and stayed the night. It was a bit like they had been able to reclaim something of the past- but in reality, perhaps such a thing wasn't truly possible.

Things had changed since then.

"But what are we going to do?" Ran finally asked, glancing over towards Shinichi. "She'll just come again tomorrow night, won't she? And from the sound of what she told Paikaru, she's probably already contacted Gin by now."

"We're going to leave." Shinichi said simply, taking a rather nonchalant sip of his coffee. "I've already had Kuroba arrange an alternate residence for all of us for the time being. When he's ready, he'll come and pick us all up. The Professor and Haibara should already be there, in fact. Sera as well."

"Now that ya mention it, I was wonderin' why I hadn't seen that little Neechan lately." Paikaru observed, a slight frown crossing his features. "But can ya really trust that Kuroba guy?"

"I don't think you, of all people, have the right to ask that question." Hakuba noted, quirking a brow- before heaving a long sigh at the intense glare that Kazuha sent his way. Goodness but she was quicker to defend him than the person himself was willing to. "But yes. Kuroba-kun has a rather _interesting_ history in his own right, but he's trustworthy when it comes to these sorts of things."

"What about Aoko-chan?" Kazuha asked, tilting her head a little. "She's not goin' ta get mixed up in all of this too, is she?"

"I believe he sent Aoko-san out on the first flight out to spend some time with her mother in law in Las Vegas, last I checked." Hakuba noted, shaking his head. "She'll be safe and far away from all of this. I'm not sure how much Kuroba-kun has told her about what's going on, but enough to impress a sense of urgency on her, at the very least."

"Aoko?" Paikaru blinked, tilting his head a little.

"Ah, Kuroba-kun's wife." Ran spoke up. "You wouldn't have met her before, I think. She's a nice girl."

"Not that I'd remember." Paikaru muttered to himself, before rising to his feet. There was something about this atmosphere- the close, friendly feeling that it gave off, that was starting to make him uncomfortable. What was he even doing? He didn't belong in a place like this.

"Are ya already done, Hei-" Kazuha turned towards him, before catching her slipup, quickly correcting herself. "Paikaru? Ya barely touched yer food. Is my cookin' really that bad?"

"Ah, no." Quickly shaking his head, Paikaru did his best to give her something of a grin. Rather, it was delicious. "It's fine. I'm just tired, that's all. Didn't really get any sleep last night. I'm just gonna hit the hay fer awhile."

"Then, sleep well." Kazuha told him, returning his smile with one of her own. He wasn't as quick to grin as Heiji was, and seemed a fair bit more guarded when it came to expressing himself- and such differences stung at her. It wasn't because of the change in itself- that she could handle- but it was what had _brought on_ the change. She had gotten a good bit more of the story from Shinichi when she had confronted him early that morning, and every new detail just managed to twist at her more. The more she learned, the more the last vestiges of lingering anger she had for the one known as Paikaru began to fade away- and the more it was redirected towards the one with the codename Merlot.

Maybe if she had acted on that deep, dark feeling of dread within her stomach from the moment she had felt it, maybe things would be different now. But that was the past- and there was nothing that she could do to change the past. Bit by bit, piece by piece, she had to instead accept what the present had brought her. Really, it would be wonderful if his memories returned- but even with that, she couldn't imagine that after everything that he had been through, that it would be some kind of miracle cure that would bring back the _exact_ Hattori Heiji she remembered.

He would probably never entirely return to the way he was before. She was just going to have to accept that, and everything that came with that.

It was only once Paikaru had departed, the last traces of that lingering aura they all had started to be able to pick up on, to some degree, fading away, that they let out a collective breath. Breakfast together had been Ran's idea, believing that a bit of normalcy might be beneficial to him, but it was hard to say if it had actually done any good or not. Well, it wasn't like any of them thought that his issues would be cured over the course of a few days, not when he had spent five years _developing_ them.

"Are we _really_ certain about this, Kudo-kun?" Hakuba finally asked, glancing over at his fellow detective, giving him something of a skeptical look. "The location of the alternate residence that Kuroba-kun has picked out for us, I mean. If we're trying to avoid complications, it might be better to go _somewhere else_."

"It should be fine." Shinichi said simply, a rather firm note to his voice. "It's safer for us there than it is here. When it comes down to it, their police force was more deeply involved with the Organization takedown than the one here. There's no requirement to tell them _all_ the details just yet. Besides, it might be good for Hattori to get him back there. He doesn't know Tokyo nearly as well."

"Eh?" Blinking a little, Kazuha glanced between the two detectives. "Don't tell me the place we're goin' ta stay at is in..."

"Where else would it be?" Shinichi told her, a small smile appearing on his face. "I'm sure you'd rather be back at home right about now yourself, Kazuha."

* * *

He must have been more exhausted than he thought he was, because no sooner than did his head hit the pillow, Paikaru found himself drifting off to sleep. He was usually better at enduring lack of sleep than this, he'd undergone pretty harsh sleep deprivation training, after all- it must have been the weight of everything that had been thrust upon him recently that was complicating matters so much.

Well, it wasn't as if his dreams were particularly restful in and of themselves- especially lately, with _that guy_ here.

"You again?" With a slight sigh, Paikaru cast his eyes on the young man who stood before him, eyes still concealed by the low brim of a baseball cap. In spite of that, he could tell that he was staring straight at him, an intense expression on his face. He was nothing more than a manifestation of his subconscious, he knew that full well- even if he _was_ a rather chatty and self-aware one.

"Don't complain ta me about it." The detective flippantly responded, crossing his arms in front of his chest. "Yer the one whose subconscious keeps dreamin' me up. If ya want someone ta take an issue with about this, take it up with yerself."

"Well, you _are_ me." The assassin pointed out, tilting his head slightly before shaking his head. "So who else am I supposed to take the matter up with _other_ than you?"

"That's a fair point." The detective admitted after a moment, merely shrugging his shoulders, accepting it easily enough. "Well, think whatever ya want, I suppose. But I gotta say, I'm a bit surprised that ya'd stick yer neck out like that. Ya tryin' to imitate me, maybe?"

Eyes narrowing slightly as his words, the assassin took a moment before he could formulate a response. He still wasn't quite sure _why_ he had done something like that- part of him was quick to convince himself that he had only done it to ensure their trust in him, and to ensure that once this was all over, that Shinichi would view him favorably, and pull whatever strings he needed to allow him to go free. After being shackled by lies for so many years, there wasn't anything that he wouldn't do to finally obtain freedom. He was just using them to that end.

At least, that _had_ been the original plan. Play up the detective's sympathy by playing the amnesiac card, give him a bit of a hand, and walk off scot free in the end, with no more worries about anyone chasing him- at least from the Organization. Start a new life somewhere else, somewhere that nobody else would find him, where he could live however he wanted. That _had_ been the goal.

 _"You. He's_ _ **you**_ _, Hattori."_

 _"Welcome back, Hattori-kun."_

 _"Heiji is still Heiji, after all."_

Everything _hadn't_ gone according to plan. For them to be people from the past that he could no longer remember wasn't according to the plan. For them to embrace him even as he was now, wasn't according to the plan. For him to actually desire to be this better person they spoke of, with both fondness and regret in their eyes- that wasn't according to the plan. And most of all, the fact that he'd gone so far as to risk himself for them, most definitely _was not_ part of the plan.

"I don't have an answer for that." He admitted finally, for once turning away from the detective that he once was. "Maybe that's it. Honestly, each and every one of them is weird. You would think that they would all hate me." With a slight laugh, the assassin tucked his hands into his pockets, narrowing his eyes. "Maybe they all really do. Maybe they're just messing with me. Maybe-"

"Is that what ya really think?" It was the tone of the detective's voice that made Paikaru turn his way again- it wasn't sharp or harsh like he had expected it to be, especially not after their first conversation. "Do ya really think they're like that?"

"...No." The admission escaped the assassin as a whisper, but within his own dreams, that sort of thing didn't matter. "They're good people, all of them. Even that Blondie. That's not the sort of thing they would do. Really, they're way better than I could ever deserve. You really had good friends, Hattori."

"I guess I did." The slightest of smiles worked it's way onto the detective's face, this manifestation of everything he should be, everything he had been- everything he didn't know if he could ever get back. "Ya'd better look after them, Paikaru. There's nothin' I can do fer 'em now."

"Surprisingly enough, you apparently don't have to tell me that much." Feeling the slightest of grins work it's way onto his own face, the assassin shook his head. "I'll look after the lot of them as best I can. There would be no point in you coming back if none of them were around for you to return to, right?"

"That's not the only reason." The detective told him, shaking his head. "It's not just me, ya don't want ta see anythin' bad happen to 'em either, right? In the end, that seems ta be the sort of person ya are, underneath everythin' Merlot stuffed inside of ya."

"I don't know about that." Shaking his head, Paikaru carefully gave the figure before him an assessing look. "Isn't your tone towards me a lot nicer than last time, though? Why's that? Thought you couldn't stand me."

"Who knows." With a simple shrug of his shoulders, the detective placed a hand on the brim of his hat, tilting it forward a bit. "Maybe ya've just learned ta like yerself, just a little bit. I'm governed by _yer_ subconscious after all, idiot. Figures _Kazuha_ would be the one ta talk some sense into ya."

"Ah, but that's right." A quick grin surfacing on the detective's face, just for a moment, one of his eyes briefly became visible underneath his cap, a dazzling blue in the black surroundings. "As a figment of yer subconscious, let me pass on ta ya a little bit of advice. There might be somethin' waitin' fer ya if ya go back ta that place from the bit of memory that ya obtained, Paikaru. Go back ta Ebisu Bridge."

"Oi, wait a second!" Opening his mouth to say something, Paikaru barely got a word in before the scenery before him changed- and he opened his eyes to face the ceiling of the room that Shinichi had leant him. Slowly realizing that he woken up, he pushed himself up into a sitting position, running a hand through his hair.

"...Ebisu Bridge?"

* * *

"I'm starting to understand why you wanted to sit up front with me, Hakuba." Sparing a glance towards the half-British detective, Kaito quickly turned his attention back towards the road. He was quite confident that nobody was following them- though he did get the feeling that someone was watching the house when he pulled up. It was a good thing that he had thought ahead enough to temporarily switch the license plate out for a fake one, only switching back to the real plate once he was confident that any prying eyes had long since been left behind.

Judging from the expressions on Shinichi and Paikaru's faces when they exited the Kudo manor, he got the feeling that he wasn't the _only_ one to pick up on this. There was something that had happened that nobody had quite told him about yet- Toyama Kazuha's presence here was testament enough to that. He'd heard about Ran discovering the truth from Shinichi already, but seeing Kazuha there was something of a surprise to him.

Hattori Heiji was, he recalled, her childhood friend. It hadn't been until he overheard her use his codename that he was able to come to the conclusion that she knew the full truth herself. Although he hadn't known the one called the high school detective of the west at all- he'd never so much as shown up at even one of his heists- it still brought a bit of warmth to his heart. Judging from the way he was looking at her whenever he thought she wasn't paying any attention, it quickly became clear to him that even without such memories, Paikaru probably still held some pretty fond feelings for the Osakan girl.

If he'd been so nervous that he could have sworn his heart was going to leap out of his chest when he admitted the truth to Aoko before he even considered asking her to marry him, then he could only imagine that it was ten times worse for Paikaru, memories or no memories. They might both be criminals, but an assassin and a thief were really quite different. From what he remembered, that Kazuha woman had been working together with Hakuba to track Paikaru down before this- to have your missing childhood friend turn up under such circumstances... it was far from ideal.

Frankly, he sort of felt like an outsider to all of this. He hadn't, after all, known Hattori Heiji at all. He could only imagine that the intense black aura that he picked up from Paikaru from time to time was probably something new.

"Toyama-san is... rather angry with us." Hakuba confessed after a moment, sparing a glance towards the back of the van that Kaito had rented. Whenever Shinichi so much as turned to address Kazuha, she would give him something of a cold smile, one that sent a chill down his spine even if it weren't directed towards himself. "More so myself than Kudo-kun. I thought it might be wise to give her some space."

"Smart move, _tantei-san_." Kaito joked, flashing him a quick grin. "So how did Toyama-san...?"

"Pure and complete coincidence." Hakuba noted, almost snorting as he recalled the way Kazuha had briefly insisted that it must have been fate. She was a bit _old_ to be holding on to such ideas as that, wasn't she? Besides, if it really was fate, then wouldn't that mean it was her friend's fate to end up killing people?

Well, there was no point in bringing something like that up, not unless he wanted Kazuha to hate him. And after working with her for a number of years now, he decided he would rather avoid that. He supposed if she was happy, and willing to embrace Paikaru, then he really should try and put some effort of his own into it- more and more, he was starting to feel like the odd one out.

At least nobody could hear them up here. There was a window dividing the front and the back of the van, and with it rolled up, he couldn't hear a single thing they were saying back there, so it was reasonable to assume that the same was true in reverse.

"Hmm." With a slight frown, Kaito fixed his full attention back on the road ahead- they were making good time, but the sooner they were somewhere indoors, the better he would feel. At the very least, he was used to this kind of pressure- and that was the reason why he was the one put in charge of finding them a place to relocate to. He hadn't questioned it at all when Shinichi had pulled him aside in private and told him to find a place in Osaka, if he could- and found a place he had. He had gone over the place very carefully himself, making sure it was secure as one could get.

"Well, from what I hear, Toyama-san is pretty strong." Kaito noted with a slight shrug. "So the more the merrier, I guess. Even if there's only two people of any real note left in that Organization, there's no telling what kind of thugs might be hired to look for us in lieu of proper members. Everything I hear about this Gin guy gives me a seriously bad feeling."

"Given the way Kudo-kun seems to feel about him, I'm inclined to agree." Hakuba noted, glancing out the window. "I can only hope that we all make it of this situation with our lives."

"Paikaru included?" Kaito couldn't help but inquire, briefly glancing over towards him again.

"Of course." Hakuba said simply, returning the look. "I'm hardly a monster, Kuroba-kun. I do believe that he needs to pay for what he's done, but it's a fair trail that he needs, not death. I _do_ feel bad for him- for Hattori-kun that is."

"You don't really show it." Kaito couldn't help but note. "He's still thorns and bristles towards you, though it seems he's gotten used to almost everyone else."

" _Someone_ needs to keep a clear head." Hakuba said simply, a rather grim expression crossing his face. "It's not Hattori-kun we're dealing with here, after all. If regains his memory, then maybe, but..." Letting out a slight sigh, he narrowed his eyes. "It's a complicated matter. Someone needs to keep tabs on the darker side of it, and it might was well be me."

"Sounds like you alright." Kaito noted with a slight frown. "Did something happen while I was gone? He's hiding it well, but he seems to be pretty sensitive on one side. And given the fact that someone seemed to be watching the house... something's going on, right? Did they already arrive?"

"Merlot did." Hakuba noted, narrowing his eyes. "Ironically enough, we have Paikaru to thank for chasing her away last night. Apparently in spite of everything, she's a woman of her word."

"That could be useful information." Kaito noted, drumming his hands on the steering wheel as he changed lanes, once again checking the rear view mirror to see if there were any suspicious cars behind them. Satisfied that there weren't, he focused on the front again. "Still, she sounds like bad news herself, from what little Paikaru told us of her. I get the feeling our combined youth isn't _quite_ enough to surpass her experience."

"She's like a shadow." Hakuba noted, closing his eyes. "If circumstances were different, I might still be searching for her without any clues right now. The more I hear about this woman, the less I like her. She and Gin have that in common."

"We've really gotten ourselves into it this time, huh?" Kaito couldn't help but ask. "Compared to them, those guys who were chasing after Kid for so long are next to nothing. I suppose we can't just trick Gin into jumping off a moving train, can we?"

"It would be nice, but no, it's doubtful." Hakuba said, shaking his head. There was a mental image that Shinichi would likely appreciate far more than himself. "Honestly, I'm just amazed this person you told me about actually managed to _survive_ that."

"Hey, it got him off my tail for a good while there." Kaito noted, recalling the event in question. That look on the face of that smug bastard who had caused him so many problems- had been instrumental in the death of his father- when he realized that he was about to run out of train- now that was quite the delight. "In the end, I've got Shinichi to thank for shaking those guys off of my tail for good, so if he needs my help, I'm willing to do whatever I can to repay him. Well, that, and he hasn't had me arrested yet. That too."

"I suppose he's got a history of that sort of thing." Hakuba noted, his comment mostly meant for himself. Pausing to spare a glance back behind him, his gaze falling on Paikaru, his frown deepened. For the most part, it seemed as if nobody was thinking too hard about what would happen afterwards- if everything worked out the way they planned it to. He could sort of understand the reason why, in the end- it was the sort of thing that nobody was quite ready to face just yet.

Would he stay? Would he go? Would he accept whatever decision was waiting for him, even if it meant taking away his freedom for good? Would he reject it, and vanish once more without a trace? Once, Hakuba thought he had a clear answer to that question- but now?

Now he wasn't quite so certain.

Still, whatever happened, there would be no fairy tale conclusion to this. There was no magic wand to wave that would vanquish Paikaru's sins, that would turn back time, and once more bring back the one who lost five years ago. Hakuba wasn't about to begrudge the happiness of those who knew him, of those who thought him long dead, of those who thought they would never see him again- but someone had to keep the situation in perspective.

To allow them all to hold onto that happiness for as long as possible, that someone would be him.

* * *

"She must have been tired."

Paikaru didn't miss the small smile that Ran badly attempted to hide behind a hand, as she took notice of the fact that Kazuha had drifted off to sleep, gently resting her head on his shoulder. He had noticed it with such a start, it was a wonder that he hadn't woken her up, really. Maybe she really was that tired.

"Come to think of it, I don't think she got any sleep last night either." Shinichi said, dropping his voice down to a low whisper, so as not to wake her. He hadn't been the least bit surprised when Kazuha had slid in the seat right next to Paikaru- and frankly, he was just pleased that his prediction had worked out as well as he had hoped it would. Even better, he'd say, given how well _both_ of them seemed to be taking to each other. It wasn't just Kazuha who was at ease in Paikaru's presence, so much so that the trained martial artist let her guard down to the point where she had drifted off to sleep next to him- but it was also Paikaru who was almost at ease in hers.

 _Almost_.

That brief moment when Paikaru had been looking through the photo album, when his eyes had first fell on the photograph of Kazuha- it was in that moment, that his guard had almost completely disappeared, all but taking his aura with it, according to Ai. That brief instant in which he had realized the reason behind why he had spared that one girl back then- probably a question that had been plaguing him ever since it happened.

Losing your memories sounded terrifying. Being lied to about them sounded even scarier. To have a void of nothing where one should have everything that made them up- Shinichi still couldn't even begin to imagine what that was like.

Perhaps it was just because he had been spending more time around him, but he slowly was starting to pick up on bits and pieces of what Ai could sense from him. Sometimes it would flare up, become so obvious that everyone in the room could sense it. Sometimes it would die to down, to the point where he barely realized it was there. One day, he hoped, it would vanish forever, as it was something that he was never meant to have in the first place.

Ran and Kazuha probably picked up on it in their own way- they were trained martial artists, after all. Things like raised guards and killing intent- that was something that they could sense. He didn't doubt that someone like Makoto would probably be able to sense it from half a block away at it's most intense. Thinking about that, he felt like perhaps it was best not to let the two of them meet for quite some time. There was no way that situation _wouldn't_ result in a fight.

He hated it.

"She did say somethin' like that." Paikaru muttered, taking care to keep his own voice low so as to not stir her. Once he got used to her presence there, he did his best not to move, sitting as if he were a rock. In it's own way, it was a cute- but it was also doubtlessly a talent he had developed for far more sinister reasons. "S'why she was out so late at night in the first place. Honestly, if it was gonna be this way, she should have taken a nap before she left."

"It's not that bad is it, Paikaru?" Ran found herself asking, unable to help but tease him about the situation. Like Shinichi, she believed that things would go over smoothly with Kazuha- and seeing the two of them together like this, after all of this time... honestly, it was more than she could ask for. "This sort of thing used to happen a lot in the past as well."

"Did it?" Paikaru asked, blinking a little, sparing a glance down towards the sleeping woman by his side. Trying to dig up such a scene in his memories only hit him with a sharp headache- so he quickly stopped. Still, he couldn't help but feel that Ran was right- even if he couldn't remember it exactly, there was a sense of nostalgia to the whole thing. "Well, I'll take yer word fer it, Neechan."

"It did." Ran told him nodding her head. "Whenever we would come back from a long case, she would fall asleep on your shoulder like this. Or well, so Shinichi tells me. I would usually fall asleep myself, actually. Though not always on his shoulder."

Come to think of it, they hadn't told Paikaru about the whole Conan thing just yet. Well, perhaps that was for the best- it might be a bit hard to believe now. Even if he had figured it out himself, now that the time had passed, and Shinichi was Shinichi again, such a thing sounded strange even to her, who had lived through it. It would be best not to confuse him more than he probably already was.

"You don't need to tell him that part." Shinichi muttered, his cheeks a bright tint of red as he spoke. From the slight way that Paikaru leered at him, the expression all too familiar on his face, he knew that his flustered face was amusing him. "What? You got something to say?"

"No, nothin'." Shaking his head, Paikaru simply grinned at the both of them, glancing between the pair. They were also childhood friends, or so he had been told- and he could feel that much when he watched them. There was a certain closeness there, that went beyond just that of lovers- a kind of closeness, a kind of bond forged by knowing each other for almost as long as they could remember.

He wondered if he had such a bond with Kazuha before. Maybe. Perhaps the shape of it was different, though.

"So when are ya two gettin' married anyways?" Paikaru asked, almost not certain what brought the question up. It felt kind of strange, to talk about normal things like this- and as much as it still gave him an uncomfortable feeling, as if he wasn't supposed to be here, in such an atmosphere- somehow, it wasn't bad.

"In December. A Christmas wedding." Ran told him with a smile. "We've already booked a wedding hall and everything. Well, I still haven't picked out a dress just yet, but there's plenty of time before then..."

"Come to think of it, I still haven't finished picking out a suit yet myself." Shinichi said with a slight frown, folding his arms in front of his chest. His mother kept bothering him about it every time she called- actually, speaking of his mother, now that he thought about it, he hadn't yet remembered to call his parents about the current situation. He should at least let them know not to go anywhere near the Kudo manor for the foreseeable future, at the very least. He knew that Ai had already contacted the Detective Boys, and told them that she and the Professor were going to be gone for awhile, and that it was best they stayed away from his place for the time being.

They still didn't know anything, those three- but they knew enough to know when to listen to Ai's words very carefully. He wasn't sure what Ran had told her father, but he knew she had told him something. Thankfully, he was away in Hokkaido at the moment, if he was remembering right. He might have never gained back the great detective reputation that he had lost once Conan had left them, but he was in a better situation than he had been before, all things told.

"Kazuha's going to be one of my bridesmaids." Ran mentioned, glancing over towards the sleeping woman. She really _was_ tired, completely drowning out the sound of their voices. "We've already looked at several dress options already... I can promise you that she'll be quite pretty, whatever it is that we decide on."

"A-ah, I see. T-that's good, I guess." Feeling a slight tint of red rise to his cheeks, Paikaru glanced away from her, scratching one of his cheeks. He didn't doubt that, honestly. Avoiding the leering look that he got from Shinichi in turn, he grumbled to himself, not quite sure what to do with the information that he'd probably been completely on the mark.

Being in love with someone he had only just met- how ridiculous. It was ridiculous that someone like him could even _be_ in love with someone in the first place. After taking and shattering so many lives with his own hands, what was he thinking, trying to fool himself into believing that he had any right to be in love?

"Do you want to come, Paikaru?" Shinichi asked, the question startling him out of whatever the former Organization member was thinking about. It wasn't that hard to guess- he might not be as easy to read as Heiji had been, but it was still pretty easy to guess what he was thinking about most of the time. "Right now, Hakuba's my best man, but..."

"I can't possibly take ya up on that offer, Kudo-han." Paikaru said, lifting up a hand, shaking his head. "I'd just bring the whole mood of the place down if I went. Besides, there's no way I could be anythin' like yer best man. I'm sure _that guy_ would be happy fer the offer though."

"Well, I'll ask again come December." Shinichi said simply. "Think it over, Paikaru. We'd be happy to have you."

Lips twisting in a slight frown, casting a skeptical look over towards Shinichi, Paikaru simply heaved a slight sigh. "Honestly, I really don't understand ya, Kudo-han. Or you either, Neechan. But well..." Trailing off a little, he averted his gaze from them, blue eyes flickering down towards the ground. "...at the very least, I'll think it over."

Come December, maybe he would actually remember things about his past. Provided he- all of them, really- would still be _alive_ come December. He knew all too well about what kind of people they were about to throw themselves into conflict with, and although he had enough face in Shinichi's plan that he was willing to bank on it, that didn't mean he wasn't ready for the chance that it could all blow up in their faces.

Where he would stand if something like that happened would be the real question.

"Give it some thought." Shinichi told him, nodding his head. December was still several months away now- and anything could happen between now and then. Even if his plan worked out like expected, there was no telling what would happen after that, not with Paikaru's fate.

Fairy tale endings might not be something that happened in real life- but happy endings _were_ , if one was willing to fight for them. That, and more, he was willing to do- more than anything, he wanted to create a chance for the one sitting across from him, a slightly soft edge to his expression as he glanced down at the woman dozing away on his shoulder, oblivious to the rest of the world.

If his actions had lead Heiji down this path in the first place, then it was his responsibility to guide him off of it. In the back of his mind, a vague idea was already starting to bud- and he could only hope that Jodie would be wiling to listen to him with understanding ears.

Well, that too, would have to wait. Gin and Merlot took precedence over almost everything else now. And deep in his bones, Shinichi couldn't shake the feeling that the black nightmare that had left his life for so long, was already on it's way back.

Only this time, he wasn't a child anymore.


	13. Bridge

**AN** : Oh hey, here's the next chapter! I've said this elsewhere already, but I'll leave another reminder here that I'm heading up to the mountains next Monday through Wednesday, and I won't have steady internet access during that time period, so no updates to anything at all during that time. I'm sure you'll survive without me, though. As always, thanks for reading, and I'd love it if you could take a little bit of time to leave a review!

 **EDIT 11/13** : Also, uh, thanks a bunch, anon whose review I already deleted because w o w, for dismissing what is _literally the main point of the story_ as 'filler'. Right from the start, the main plot and the main point of this story has always been Paikaru/Heiji and his memories, and his relationships with the people around him (the Black Org plot, which although flashier and louder, has always been the _subplot_ of this fic)- so uh, if you couldn't even tell that much, I guess I'm probably not half as good of a writer as I actually thought I was, and I had such confidence in this chapter too ahahaha. Like if you're looking for a fic that's snappy and quick, you're kind of in the wrong place, because this fic has always been meant to be an exploration of the topic of amnesia and deception, and while I've always planned for snappy action around the climax of the fic, it's less of a loud, action fic with a few quiet moments, and more of a quiet, psychological fic with a few loud, action moments. Like... that's literally been the point like. this whole time.

Kind of wish you hadn't used the anon option so I could have actually told you this over a less public avenue, but Ive been feeling pretty awful and unfocused since you left it, so unless I get this out here I might never be able to pick up the fic again so hahaha, here we go. Anyways, sorry for the ramble/rant to anyone checking this chapter for the first time, and please carry on with reading!

Until next time!

* * *

 **Phantasmal Black**

 **Chapter Thirteen**

 **Bridge**

* * *

"Geez, that guy hasn't come back yet?"

A rather deep frown set on her features, Kazuha glanced down at her watch, finding herself once more pacing the floor. He was already gone by the time anyone woke up and had thought to check on him, and it was already almost noon now! Shinichi had reassured her that everything was probably alright, and to a degree, she believed him- but she also had a rather deep understanding of just _how much trouble_ Heiji could get himself into without even so much as trying.

And that was when he _wasn't_ being chased by a pro assassin.

"Calm down, Kazuha. I'm sure Hattori-kun is just fine." Ran reassured her, giving her friend a small smile. "Why don't you sit down? When you pace like that, it sort of makes me a bit nervous too."

"Oh, sorry, Ran." Ceasing in her pacing, Kazuha turned towards her friend, giving her an apologetic smile. Ever since they were still teenagers, the two of them had always kind of absorbed emotions from the other like a sponge- that was just how close the two of them had gotten, so quickly. "I'm just worried about that idiot, ya know. Now more than ever, really."

"Well, I can't exactly blame you." Ran told her, watching as Kazuha collapsed on the sofa next to her. "I keep feeling like I want the whole thing to hurry up and start already so that we can get this over with."

"Yeah, yeah, I know that feelin'." Kazuha said, nodding her head. "But more than anythin', I want a chance ta give that damn _Merlot_ woman a piece of my mind! Who does she think she is, kidnappin' Heiji like that an' doin' what she did ta him? It's unforgivable, Ran! I won't let her get away with it."

"I can understand that feeling too." Unable to help but smile, Ran gave a rather knowing nod of her head. "I've felt that way for a long time about that _Gin_ person. For doing something like that to Shinichi, for nearly killing him... just once, before all of this is over, I'd like to give him one good punch!"

"That's it, that's it!" Vigorously nodding her head, Kazuha beamed brightly at Ran, her eyes almost sparkling. "That's exactly how I feel, Ran!" Relaxing a little, Kazuha's smile turned a bit sheepish, a somewhat nervous laugh working it's way past her lips. "Well, that said, I'm not an idiot, either. I'm not about ta go toe ta toe with someone who has spent their entire life probably trainin' ta kill people. Just ya know... if I get a chance, right? At the very least, I'd definitely like the chance ta get ta have a good talk with that woman."

"She has the nerve ta think she understands even the _first_ thing about Heiji, but I'll make sure ta let her know she doesn't know any damn thing about him!" Firmly nodding her head, Kazuha folded her arms in front of her chest, springing to her feet. "That said, I am gettin' a little nervous about that idiot, so I'll probably head out an' go look fer him. Ai-chan said she thinks he still remembers Osaka's streets pretty well, but well, I wouldn't put it past him ta get his butt lost anyways. It's been five years since he's been here last, after all. Some things have changed."

"Do you know where to start looking for him, though?" Ran asked, a slight frown on her face. "It might really be better to wait for him here. I'm sure he'll come back, Kazuha. Shinichi said that much himself."

"I know that he'll _come back._ " Kazuha said, her voice coming out a bit sharper than she had intended. Quickly flashing her friend another apologetic smile- she'd gotten into a bit of a fight with Hakuba over the subject already, so she couldn't help but be a little bit testy. "Still, I've never been much of one ta just sit around an' wait fer him. Who knows if that guy even remembers how ta handle crowds anymore? He's definitely got some bad habits he didn't have before, so I can't help but worry about him. Besides, it'll be fine. He's _still_ Heiji, after all, so I know a few places ta start lookin' fer him."

"I suppose that's true." Ran said, giving her a slight nod of her head- before a slightly mischievous look surfaced on her face. "Well then, good luck, Kazuha! You never know, maybe he's over at Ebisu Bridge?"

Her cheeks turning a bright shade of red at the implication of her words, Kazuha quickly covered it with a cough. "No, no, there's no way he's there. If it's Heiji, that idiot's probably followin' his stomach."

* * *

"I have a theory regarding Hattori-kun's memory loss."

"A theory?" Well, that was more or less what he expected to hear from her after she had requested to speak with him today. From the neutral expression on her face, he couldn't tell if it was good news or bad news. Given that he was almost entirely certain that the reason Paikaru hadn't been found anywhere that morning was because he was either trying to jog his own memory, or he had already remembered something, he could only hope it was good news.

"Well, let's hear it, Haibara."

"I'm certain that you've already noticed that Hattori-kun's amnesia is almost _unusually_ severe." Ai noted, resting her elbow on the table next to her, resting her chin in her hand. "Even if he had been purposefully kept away from stimuli that might jog his memory, and has been lied to for years, it's still unusual that he remembers not even the slightest thing after all this time. Especially given your theory as to why he spared that one girl."

"I've been wondering about that myself, actually." Shinichi admitted, nodding his head. "I would have thought that meeting Kazuha-chan might have jolted something big inside him, but it doesn't appear as if that's happened." Whatever the case, Kazuha did seem to be something of a link to his missing memories- perhaps it was because of the charm that he had carried with him all this time, the charm which served as his only link to the past.

Even if he had managed to remember something, he got the impression that it was probably nothing more than a small fragment. If he did properly remember something, Shinichi didn't doubt that he would share such a thing with them- that it would produce some form of relief for him, filling in an empty void where nothing was. Whether it was because he was changing little by little, or just because he was slowly coming out of the hard shell that he had hidden himself in, Paikaru's personality did seem to be getting a little warmer recently- although there were still plenty of cold moments.

Ai still avoided him, for the most part, when she didn't need him for something. That aura was still there.

"While it's true that the initial cause for Hattori-kun's amnesia is most likely due to head trauma," Ai told him, getting up from her chair and moving to where she had placed the images that she had taken of his brain, "...here and here, to be precise, you can still see traces of an old wound that's already healed. When I felt around that area externally myself, there were traces of an old scar around here. Most likely he probably hit his head somewhere, perhaps when he was washed ashore. That's my running theory there."

"The head trauma, most likely combined with his near death experience, was more than enough to create the circumstances under which he would lose his memories." Ai told him, glancing up towards Shinichi. "However, even in such a case, under normal circumstances, his memories _should_ have still gradually returned to him over time. As I mentioned before, even if there was an attempt to prevent him from interacting with stimuli that might have triggered the return of his memories, it's impossible to prevent all of them. Sometimes the stimuli can be as something as common as a smell, or a turn of phrase... which leaves the question as to _why_ this didn't happen."

"Obviously, there's no obvious signs that his brain has been tampered with in any way." Ai said, folding her arms in front of her chest, narrowing her eyes. It had been her first theory, though. "To begin with, if the Organization had that kind of ability, they would have been ten times more complicated to deal with- and I doubt that they would have developed anything like it in the ensuing five years after their downfall at large. Neither you nor Hakuba-kun have managed to uncover any kind of indication that they've managed to retain any of their researchers. Aside from myself, most of their former researchers are behind bars."

"Well, there's no denying that he's obviously gone through a form of brainwashing, but it's the far more traditional type you'd find anywhere." Ai noted. She hadn't been doing nothing all of this time, after all- she had been busy at work, preparing any number of tests for the amnesiac former detective. "However, even that wouldn't create the current problem, though it's doubtlessly related to it."

"So in another words?" Shinichi asked, more or less following what she was saying.

"It's possible that his persistent amnesia is something of a defense mechanism." Ai said finally, a deep frown crossing her features. "Well, it's just a theory at that moment. Most likely around the time Hattori-kun began doubting the things that he had been told, and began doubting the gap in his memories, something like a defensive wall, you could say, developed around his lost memories. The fact that he was able to subconsciously remember Kazuha-chan enough to the point where he couldn't kill someone who strongly resembled her is proof enough that they're still there- just not in a place where he can consciously draw them out or interact with them in any way."

"Furthermore, when I asked him about it, he mentioned that he sometimes experiences a sharp, stinging pain when he tries to recall things from his past. It's possible that some part of him is trying to actively prevent him from doing so." Ai explained. "Most likely, the more he pushes to remember something, the worse it gets. That would prevent anyone from digging too deep."

"But why?" Shinichi asked, his brows furrowing together. "Wouldn't remembering his past be a good thing?"

"Under the current circumstances, of course." Ai said simply, a grave expression crossing her face. "However, under his previous circumstances, what do you think would happen if _Paikaru_ suddenly recalled _Hattori-kun's_ memories? If he was an average person before all of this, it might not be as bad, but the fact remains that Hattori-kun was a _detective_ , and was involved with the fall of the Organization in the first place- the same Organization he had probably already been deeply entrenched with at this point. Merlot's brainwashing also comes into play here- to be frank, Kudo-kun, I don't believe Paikaru possesses that same strong sense of justice that Hattori-kun once did. Something like that is unnecessary for an assassin, so it was more than likely stomped out of him."

"In such a state, it's possible that if he suddenly recalled his memories of his previous life, so to speak, the shock might potentially cause a mental break. In order to prevent that, and to protect himself from doing that, his brain created it's own means to safeguard itself." Ai explained, heaving a long sigh. "At the very least, that's my theory. The human brain can be a pretty impressive thing."

"Then, if Hattori regains his memories, what happens?" Shinichi asked, a look of worry on his face as he rose to his feet.

"It's true that the mental defenses that he's built up over time might make it a bit difficult, and I wouldn't recommend trying to force it." Ai answered. "That's probably what the sharp pain he experiences when he tries is warning him about. Even now, I'm concerned that trying to remember everything at once might cause him considerable mental strain. When you factor in the fact that he most likely has identity issues as it is _already_ , it's possible that such a thing might result in his two sets of memories diverging, potentially creating something akin to a split personality. Naturally, that's something we would want to avoid."

"But as I mentioned before, his circumstances have changed. I believe that with time and steady, gradual effort, his memories will probably naturally come back to him in bits and pieces." Ai told him, a slight smile working it's way onto her face. "There's no need to rush it, in other words. As the same subconscious forces that created it in the first place begin to understand that there's less and less need for a defensive wall in the first place, it should slowly come down on it's own."

Letting out a slight sigh of relief, Shinichi closed his eyes, before nodding his head, opening them once more. "More or less, I understand, Haibara. So? What do you recommend that we should do in the meantime?"

"The best thing you can do for him is to continue as you have been." Ai said, placing her hands on her hips. "It wanes, every now and again, that aura of his. It probably won't ever completely go away, but I think being around you and the others has been ultimately a good thing for his mental health, Kudo-kun. Frankly, it's a miracle that he's held up this far, he's more fragile than he looks in regards to that right now. He's been under some pretty dire circumstances for the past several years, after all, it's going to take him some time to learn that it's safe for him to open up again."

"To begin with, Hattori-kun was originally a very open person." Ai told him, recalling the few times that she had met him in the past. The Osakan high school detective had taken her by surprise when she had first met him- she wasn't quite expecting someone with Heiji's personality, having grown so used to dealing with that of Shinichi's. It was refreshing, in a way, the way he was quick to grin, the way that he was almost like an open book. "I believe it's still possible for him to return to being that way, at least around those he thinks of as his friends."

"Well something like that too, will probably take time." Ai finished, locking eyes with Shinichi. And around strangers, it might very well never happen, but she decided not to add that for the moment. Psychology, after all, was not quite her forte, even if she had spent the past few days studying it very intently- especially as it related to memory and memory loss. "And it's your job to ensure that he's able to get that time- not to mention that we _all_ get out of this with our lives. Do you think you can manage that, _mister great detective_?"

"Hey now, who do you think you're speaking about here?" Shinichi asked, placing a hand over his chest almost in mock offense, before cracking a smile. "Don't worry, Haibara. I'll bring an end to our nightmare once and for all. Yours _and_ mine."

And Heiji's as well. He was the one who had dragged him into this nightmare in the first place- more than anyone else, he deserved to be free of it.

* * *

 _"Since when did I become yours?"_

Those half remembered words had been plaguing him ever since they had first emerged from the darkness of his memories, like trickle of water from a faucet that didn't quite work anymore. He felt a little bit silly chasing the words of someone that was nothing more than a manifestation of his subconscious, but there was something within them that gave Paikaru the feeling that if he chased that rabbit long enough, there might be something there at the end of it.

 _"Go back ta Ebisu Bridge."_

Sneaking out of the temporary residence that Kaito had arranged for them was easy enough. He had considered leaving a note, but he didn't want to bring up the fragment of his memory until he actually had something more than just a fragment. He didn't want to get anyone's hopes up, just in case it might very well be the only thing that he would ever recall. Well, he kind of figured that Shinichi would understand anyways, though he didn't doubt that Hakuba would grill him later.

He must have really lived in this city before, and for some time at that, given how his feet had naturally lead him to this place. There was no doubt that if he gave them the freedom to do so, they would lead him back to what was likely to be his home- but that was a place that he had no place returning to as he was now. Maybe once his memories returned to him, if such a thing were possible, but Paikaru had no place going back to the home that Hattori Heiji had grown up in, until he had vanished from it.

Because of him.

Well, not that he didn't _already_ feel out of place on crowded and lively Ebisu Bridge. At the very least, he wasn't standing out. Even with his black clothes, the hood of his thin black jacket raised up over his head, it didn't appear that anyone paid him all that much mind as he leaned back against the railing, watching the crowd. Even if he did use to be famous here, that was five years ago, and everyone long since thought that he was dead.

The world had moved on without him.

He'd finally looked them up- the articles about his own death. _Hattori Heiji's_ death, really, which was, in a sense, true. It had been rather surreal, scanning headline after headline mourning the loss of the brilliant young high school detective, seeing someone from a world in which everyone held him up, praising him for what he did. A world where he lived in the light, existing in places like this crowded and lively meeting spot, and not in the shadow, where the things he did were nothing that anyone would ever thank him for, and nothing that deserved thanks.

If the world knew what had become of the once famous and much praised high school detective... well, if there was one thing that he knew, it was how much the media enjoyed a good circus. They would descend on the subject like a pack of single minded _rats_ , not caring about anyone they hurt in the process. Not that he had any intention of becoming anyone's show for entertainment- if they tried something like that on him, they would have another thing coming.

Still, as out of place as he felt here, watching families, couples, and friends alike meeting up with each other, chatting for awhile before heading on to whatever it was that they needed to do- it was somehow calming, hearing all of these voices speaking mostly in the Osaka dialect. Given the fact that Merlot had spent the past five years trying to bury his own, and had done rather well in that, somehow, hearing it being spoken freely around him was almost a bit liberating. It'd still probably be awhile before it returned to being the default way that he spoke Japanese, though.

What was it about this bridge, exactly? What had happened here? He got the feeling that those words that he had managed to remember hadn't actually been said _here_ , but somewhere else, later on- but they were words that were directly tied to this bridge. There was that gaudily dressed man as well... who was he? For some reason, bringing up the vague memory of him made him feel annoyed. He didn't feel like he actually knew him either, not in the same way that he knew Shinichi or Kazuha- or even Hakuba, for that matter.

Closing his eyes, Paikaru tried to concentrate, even amongst the chattering voices that floated from every corner of the bridge. Surely there must be something _more_ that he could remember, now that he was back here, to this place- he just had to try a little bit harder. Not only did he feel like he owed to everyone back at what some small part of his brain wanted to inform him was 'home', but he also wanted to remember for his own sake.

He might have spent the past five years with a void for where his memory should be, but it was never a situation that he had ever once become comfortable with. All the more so when he realized that the one who had been with him when he woke up had lied to him, convincing him that he was someone he wasn't. As much as he hated to admit it, he had believed her almost completely, up to a certain point, up until he started to question things. To realize that he was someone entirely different than who he thought he was... frankly, it was terrifying.

Hand straying to his left wrist, carefully placing it over where it had been bandaged, Paikaru rubbed it lightly, opening his eyes and gazing back out over the bridge. It was probably for the best that he had worn something with long sleeves- his scars would attract far more attention than his face would. Even more than the aura he apparently gave off, that not everyone could sense, they were something that marked him as someone who probably didn't belong in this world anymore.

Even though he was starting to want to.

" _Focus_." Paikaru mumbled underneath his breath, realizing that his thoughts were straying from the issue at hand. Namely, that of his memories. Grip tightening around his wrist, he closed his eyes again, once more trying to recall what it was that had happened here, what it was that had called him to this place. Taking in and letting out a deep breath, he once again brought the faint memories that had bubbled up within his mind, trying to expand them, trying to draw more out from them.

For a moment, as he dug deeper, there was a hint of _something_ , more a vague impression of a memory than a proper one- talking to someone on the phone? Something about train stations? For some reason, he found his brain pulling out all the general knowledge that he knew about _marijuana_ , of all things, sorting through it at a rapid pace before it decided it was apparently irrelevant. An overall sense of irritation, and then-

 _"What are ya-"_

That was when a bolt of pain shot through his head, sharper than it had ever been before, overpowering almost everything else. Eyes flying wide open, the sharp burst of pain causing him for a moment to forget where he was, Paikaru clutched at his head, letting out an audible noise of distress. Faintly, through blurred vision, he could make out images of bystanders taking notice, a low murmur going around the area he had positioned himself at. Only faintly realizing that someone was reaching a hand out towards him, not hearing nor understanding the words of concern that were spoken alongside it, he lashed out, grabbing the arm, wrenching it so that he twisted it around the back of the man thoughtful enough, but also _unfortunate_ enough, to offer a hand to an obviously distressed stranger.

At the man's grunt of pain, Paikaru seemed to quickly snap back to reality, once again remembering where he was, and what his position was here. Suddenly realizing that the man who had reached out to him had probably been trying to help him, not hurt him, he quickly released his arm, taking half a step back, prevented from going any further by the bridge's railing.

Suddenly, the people who hadn't been paying him even the slightest bit of attention had their eyes on him, a few of them quickly hurrying to the side of the man that he had ended up attacking, trying to see if he was alright. Suddenly feeling very exposed, Paikaru quickly reached for his hood, pulling it down a bit further over his face, feeling his heart tense in his chest.

He didn't know how he dealt with attention like this in the past, but right now, his current reaction to it was the overpowering desire to lash out with the only thing he really knew. As if by instinct, he almost felt his hand straying to where he'd hidden his gun- before he moved it away, shoving both hands into his pockets instead, where they couldn't be used to harm anyone else. What had he been thinking? Even _he_ recognized that the guy probably had only meant to help him, that he had only just been concerned.

Maybe he really wasn't suited for this world anymore. Maybe he really was, just as Merlot had said, fooling himself into believing that he could exist here anymore. He'd changed since then- he wasn't Hattori Heiji anymore. That name and identity had been stripped away from him alongside his memories, and he was only fooling himself into thinking that any of those things would come back to him.

Maybe it really would be easier to go back to where he came from- or at least, the place he'd spent the past five years believing that he had come from. Maybe it would be best if he forced himself to forget everything that he had learned here, to forget everyone that he had met here- to once more return to being just Paikaru, to once more seal away the things that slowly, piece by piece, bit by bit, he was letting come out of the hard shell that he had built up around himself. To once more become nothing more than a cold, empty shell.

But even so.

 _"Ya'd better look after them, Paikaru. There's nothin' I can do fer 'em now."_

It was ridiculous. They were nothing more than words spoken to him in a dream, by a manifestation of his own subconscious, the product of what was clearly his own troubled brain. There was no reason for him to put any stock in them, and certainly no reason for him to keep his promise with the imaginary version of his past self that he had dreamed up.

But even so.

That was a part of him. A small part of him, that when he made himself listen to it, softly told him that no matter how difficult it might be, no matter how unsuited he felt to being here, this was where he belonged. Here, with the people he had slowly been getting to know all over again, bit by bit, piece by piece. He belonged here, not over there- not over in the shadows.

And so.

Slowly drawing in a long breath, she swallowed back everything else, everything that had been forced into him, filling up the empty shell that his amnesia had left behind. He had to do better than this- he had to be better than this. It wouldn't wash away anything that he had done- but for the people that he had left behind, and for the person that he used to be- he needed to be better.

"S-sorry." The apology was almost forced out, the sound of it so unfamiliar on his lips, as Paikaru turned towards the man who was still nursing his arm. At the very least, he hadn't broken it- thank god, he must have held back some. Which was, quite honestly, unusual for him. Had he been getting a bit soft, maybe? "I didn't mean to do that at all. I'm just... really, really bad with bein' touched by strangers. I react, ah, real bad to it."

"No, no." The man finally spoke up, shaking his head, even as he rubbed his shoulder. There was a note of almost unfathomable sympathy in his voice, even. Concern too, if he didn't know any better. "That was a bit presumptuous of me, I should have been the one ta know better. Are ya alright though? Ya seemed like ya were in pain."

Blinking a little, having half not expected his apology to be accepted so easily, Paikaru finally realized that he was still waiting for an actual response. Crap, interacting with normal people outside of one of his mission was something that he had always been bad at- he wondered if it had always been this way, and quickly decided that probably wasn't the case. "Ah, yeah, I'm fine now. It was just a bad headache, nothing to worry about."

"That's good, then." The man said, giving him a nod of his head. "Were you waitin' fer someone here?"

"Ah, that's not quite..." Paikaru began, lifting him a hand, half wondering why he was making conversation with him now. Had he really gotten this bad at understanding people? Well, given the two people that he had most commonly interacted with up to this point were hardly _normal_ , one could hardly blame him, but still...

"So ya really _were_ here, Heiji!"

Blinking, slowly turning his head towards the person who had called out to him, having already easily recognized the voice. A slightly angry expression was set on her features, as she all but barreled through the crowd towards him, only sparing the man that he was speaking with a momentary look, before turning her full focus back on him. She probably hadn't even realized that she had said his real name, and he half didn't have it in him to deny her it.

"Geez, ya can't just go wanderin' off like that on yer own, ya know? What if ya get lost?" Kazuha asked, planting herself in front of him. The man that he had been speaking with seemed to take a hint, and made himself quickly scared, leaving Paikaru half wondering if he had misunderstood something. "It's been five years since ya been here, five years! Honestly, I can't believe that Ran was right though, an' you were hangin' out at Ebisu Bridge of all places. What were ya tryin' ta do, get yerself used to crowds?"

She tried to tell herself not to read too much into it, though. Ebisu Bridge, after all, was a place where they had met up countless times in the past, even before _that_ incident.

"Ah, somethin' like that." Paikaru said quickly, sheepishly rubbing the back of his neck. He didn't think he should mention what he was actually doing here just yet- just in case he couldn't bring forward anything more than fragments, he didn't want to get anyone's hopes up just yet. "Sorry, sorry. Now that I think about it, I didn't mention where I was goin'. That Blondie's probably fumin'."

"Oh trust me, he is." Kazuha told him, rolling her eyes. "Honestly, if ya wanted ta tour around Osaka while ya had the chance, ya could have just asked me, ya know." Holding out her hand, her angry expression quickly faded away almost as if it had never been there, replaced by a broad smile. "Have ya had lunch yet, Heiji? There's a good place near here that opened up a little while ago that I've been _dyin_ ' ta try. If we're about ta face down with some nasty people, then at the very least, I wanna do it with the memory of some good food in me."

Glancing down at her hand, half uncertain of what to do with it for a moment, Paikaru merely tilted his head. She had used his real name again- something which she was slowly seeming to realize now, an apology for it on her lips, waiting to be said. What came out instead, however, was-

"It's my hand, _idiot_. Yer supposed ta take it, not just leave it hangin' there. Ya aren't good with strangers, right? This bridge is full of 'em, after all." Kazuha asked. "Geez, yer really like a child, Paikaru. Well, ya do only have five years of memories, so I suppose that can't be helped."

"What's _that_ supposed ta mean?" Without thinking too hard about it, Paikaru's eyes narrowed, quickly snapping at her. "Don't treat me like a _child_ , Kazuha. I'll have ya know, I still remember my general knowledge well enough. That's different from my personal memories, _idiot_!"

Perhaps he shouldn't be hurling insults at her, but it had slipped from him before he could even so much as stop it- and strangely enough, Kazuha didn't seem the least bit upset by it. _Weird_.

"Yes, yes, I'm sure that's true." Kazuha said, nodding her head. "Now, are ya comin' or what? Geez, I don't know what yer thinkin', walkin' around so openly in a city when people are huntin' fer ya. Not ta mention while wearin' that damn recognizable face of yers." That was, incidentally, why they were going to a new place, rather than a place where she was a regular at- there wasn't a single one among that number where Heiji wouldn't be recognized, even if they thought he had been dead all this time.

It was best not to overcomplicate things, she thought, even if Shinichi had reassured her that everything would be fine even if rumors began to spread. That guy definitely had some part of his plan that he was still keeping to himself... he was _always_ like that, now that she thought about it.

Maybe she'd beat it out of him later. Secrets were _exhausting_.

"Fine, I'll come with ya." Paikaru said after a moment. "But I'm not holdin' yer damn hand."

"Just hold it, ya idiot." Kazuha insisted, reaching out to take his hand anyways, entwining her fingers with his own before he had a chance to so much as protest. "Ya've kept me waitin' all this time, the least ya can do is hold my hand." Blinking, turning back to look at him, a slight frown graced her face, taking notice of the rather zoned out expression on his face. "Ya okay, Paikaru? Don't tell me that holdin' hands with a girl broke ya?"

"Of course not." Paikaru muttered, shaking his head, shooting her a dirty look. In that too, there was the strangest sense of nostalgia. This all felt familiar- as if it had all happened before.

And for a moment, as the tips of her fingers brushed over the scar on his hand that he couldn't remember getting, something else bubbled forth from the recesses of his mind. An arrow and a grave, accompanied by the sound of waves.

 _"Even if I die, I won't let go."_

* * *

"He's been spotted."

Those words were more then enough to cause Shinichi to tear his attention away from the article that he was scanning, turning his full attention towards Sera. He didn't need her to elaborate to tell him who, exactly, she meant. They knew where Paikaru had wandered off to now, since Kazuha had touched bases with him when she had found him- on _Ebisu Bridge_ , amusingly enough.

There was only one other person, then, who was left.

"Where?" Shinichi asked, rising to his feet, the legs of his chair scratching the floor as it pushed out from behind him. "When?"

"In the area around your house, an hour ago. He was probably scouting for information." Sera told him, a grave expression on her face. "Just as you thought he would, he's finally returned to Japan."

"So the time is finally coming." Taking in and letting out a deep breath, Shinichi quickly steeled himself. "Call everyone here. We have to let everyone know. It probably won't take them all that long to figure out what city we've relocated to."

That too, was part of the plan. He had already gotten in touch with none other than Hattori Heizo, informing him that there was a chance that two high ranking Organization members could be following them to this city, and that he should inform his officers to keep a close eye out for people matching their descriptions.

And _under no circumstances_ , should those officers in any way attempt to follow or confront them. Knowing full well that those people were capable of, Heizo had agreed.

It hadn't been easy, speaking to the man when the knowledge that his son was alive was right there, waiting to be said. But there was a time and a place for that- and the one who needed to decide if he was going to face down his parents could only be Heiji himself- no one else could do it for him, and no one else could force him. For the moment, Shinichi had left out the fact that they were cooperating with a former Organization member who had betrayed them, deciding to save that too, for later.

But not blurting all of that out to Heizo had proved to be incredibly difficult. Even though he was a proper adult now, Heizo was no less intimidating than he had been when he was still a teenager- or when he was still Conan, for that matter. Still, he'd managed.

"Can do." With a quick grin in spite of the circumstances, Sera leaned against the doorframe for a moment longer, locking eyes with him. "Are you sure you don't want me to call my brother? There's still time, you know."

"It'll be fine, Sera." Shaking his head, Shinichi returned her smile, a certain fierceness to his own. "We're no longer children ourselves, after all."

"That's true." Sera said, nodding her head, standing straight up. "There's no longer any need to remain in his shadow, huh. Well, I'll contact everyone, Shinichi-kun. You'd better get ready to rally the troops, _mister great detective_."

Watching as Sera shot him another quick grin, Shinichi watched her go, taking in and letting out another deep breath after she had. Steeling himself for the dangerous task ahead, he swallowed back any lingering fears that he might have- no was not the time for such a thing either.

One way or another, this _would_ come to an end.

* * *

"I thought you said that he wasn't going to be a problem. It's unlike you to misjudge something like this, Merlot."

The cold voice that spoke to her would have sent chills up the spine of almost anyone else, but Merlot turned to face the man without so much as flinching. He might be as young as he used to be either, but there was no way that she was going to allow herself to be intimidated by someone who was basically still a child in her book.

Even if he _was_ , in a sense, her boss.

"I hardly believe Paikaru is a problem, Gin, even now." Merlot said simply, shaking her head. "He's wavering now, sure enough, but his place is here, with me, in the end. He's already become a part of our Organization, it's not something that someone can leave behind them so easily."

"He's allied himself with some rather bothersome pests. No doubt your identity has been exposed to them because of him." Gin said shortly, narrowing his eyes. If he hadn't been so fixed on the likes of Akai Shuichi and Sherry, perhaps he would have taken notice of the one who had slipped through his fingers- taken notice of Kudo Shinichi, who had somehow survived the poison that he had been given. Because of that, he had been able to strike a critical blow the Organization, causing it to all but crumble into dust.

If he hadn't caught wind of his plans to close in on him when he did, even he wouldn't have been able to escape. He'd done so, taking what little Organization remained with him, and what few important members there were left- the small fry, those without codenames, were of no matter to him.

For a very long time now, he'd been wanting revenge. But with the Organization no longer holding the power that it once did, such a thing would have to wait until the right time. And for what he had done, no ordinary method of payback would work- it had to be something much grander, and much more painful, something that would cause him to suffer.

That was when Merlot had introduced him to the new pupil that she had taken on, just as the Organization was falling apart around them.

"It matters not." Merlot said simply, shaking her head. "For someone of my experience, something as little as my face being known is hardly enough to prevent me from carrying out my work. Well, although from the sound of your tone, I take it that you've already given up on _that plan_ , Gin."

"If Paikaru has chosen to ally himself with them instead of us, there's no way that plan can be carried out at this point." Gin replied, a rather cutting tone to his voice. Not that it mattered to the woman before him- but he was never one for bottling up his anger. "You were the one who proposed it in the first place, need I remind you. If he's gone to _Kudo Shinichi_ ," and there was a clear venom in his tone as he spoke his name, as he remembered all too clearly what had been lost because of him, "...then it's highly unlikely that he would agree to kill him at this point."

What a revenge that would have been- to have the person who finally did away with him be none other than the ally that he thought he had lost. Frankly, Gin had paid little attention to Hattori Heiji before this, even though he had some idea that he was involved with Kudo Shinichi's efforts to dismantle the Organization. His eyes had been on Kudo Shinichi himself, and the bigger fish by his side.

When Merlot had introduced him to the amnesiac young man, he had his doubts. Certainly, she had a gift for training assassins, and had trained any number for the Organization that carried out their missions with efficiency and ruthlessness alike, but creating one out of someone who once claimed himself to be an ally of justice was another matter entirely. That sort of thing was incredibly difficult to stomp out of that type, even if their memories were lost. Still, he'd been willing to allow it at the time, given that he didn't have much choice.

Recruiting new members was always a priority, but that was something that needed to be done after a certain amount of framework was reestablished. These things couldn't be rushed, however angry he was.

In the end, to his surprise, he'd shown promise. Merlot's exact training methods were something that he was never privy to, but he always got the impression that it was in part, nothing short of torture. Even when Kudo Shinichi's name and deeds were spoken of in front of him, the young man who had been given the codename of Paikaru didn't so much as blink.

"I only need to speak with him once more, Gin. His memories still haven't returned." Merlot said simply, a placid smile crossing her face. "And if I can't convince him, then I'll simply have to kill him. Well, hopefully he'll see reason. That Kudo Shinichi might claim friendship, but there's no way he intends to give Paikaru what he desires the most. Once he realizes that, he'll come back to me."

"His memories?" Gin asked, raising his brows. "I believe he's almost _overqualified_ for that."

"No, not his memories. That child's memories may very well never return." Merlot said simply, shaking her head. "Freedom. That is Paikaru's most core desire, above all else. I understand the child that I helped shape very well, Gin. And Kudo Shinichi is a detective. It's true that in the past, they might have been friends," and her lips twisted in a frown there, "...but as it stands now, the two of them exist within two different worlds. In the end, Kudo-san will betray Paikaru, and ensure that he's brought to justice, the same as all of my other pupils were. That's what a detective does, after all."

"I simply need to remind him of that. That if stays with them, the only thing that awaits him is death."


	14. Eve

AN: Well, somehow or another, in spite of last chapter's incredibly discouraging reviews, I managed to pump out another chapter! Seriously, nothing demotivates a girl more than someone casually dismissing out of hand _one of the biggest reasons_ _why_ I started writing this fic- Heiji's lost memories, and the interactions with Paikaru and those that he used to know him, leading up to the Big Confrontation- as **_filler_**. Hahahaaha. It was on anon too, so I couldn't even talk to them about it, that was seriously the worst (at the very least I was able to remove it because it was an anon review but still. ha. ha ha ha. sure do love the _main reason this story exists_ being brushed aside as pointless. sure do love that!).

Uh right, anyways, ahhaha, now that I've put that aside (again, wow that's going to stick with me for the longest time hahaha), here's the next chapter! For those of you have kept reading all this time, thanks for doing so! And uh, please be sure to leave a review on your way out that's not uh... _that_. Actually it would probably really help ramp my motivation back up again since last chapter only got one positive review like at all, ahahaha.

Until next time!

* * *

 **Phantasmal Black**

 **Chapter Fourteen**

 **Eve**

* * *

Some part of him was almost grateful when Kazuha's planned grand tour of Osaka had been cut short by a phone call from Shinichi, informing her that she needed to bring Paikaru back right away. Even from such a short, concise message, he was able to draw the right conclusion- that _they_ had come, those who he had once been a part of himself, up until recently. He'd be lying if he said it didn't give him a rather familiar itch, the kind of sensation that he got right before going out on a mission- except this one, hopefully, wouldn't result in anyone's death.

He couldn't make any promises though, not really. Perhaps he had held back against the man on the bridge, but the circumstances of that were rather different than the circumstances of the matter at hand. He understood himself too well- and so did Merlot, loathe as though he was to admit it. She understood _exactly_ what sort of person that she had helped give shape to, creating him out of what was otherwise an empty shell without any memories. Better than he knew himself, she liked to think- and there was a part of them that _very much_ wanted to prove her wrong about that.

Maybe he'd changed a little since he had come into contact with Kudo Shinichi, since he had come to understand the truth about himself- and some small part of him would like to put his faith in that. But still, whatever little bits and pieces might have changed, might have softened up somewhat, he knew that the core of his being that had been crafted over the past five years wouldn't change so easily. Not enough so that he could put all of his faith into not being the kind of person that Merlot thought he was- and not enough so that he could put all of his faith that this wouldn't end with more blood on his hands.

The plan that Shinichi laid out was a rather simple one- and hinged on dividing and conquering, hinged on staying one step ahead of the game with information. That was why he had recruited the help of both the Tokyo MPD, to watch things back home for him, where they would surely look for them first, and from Osaka's own police force. At the mention of the latter, Paikaru couldn't help but frown, his thoughts for a moment dwelling on the person that he had been told was his father. He'd spent some time reading up on him, and at the very least, came to the conclusion that he was more than cut out for this job.

And because of that, he got the feeling that even if he wanted to, he could never hide what he was from him. It would be pointless to even try.

Even with their help, he already knew that Merlot wouldn't be that easy to track. Even though he had told them what she looked like, and even though he was certain that she wouldn't make any attempts to disguise herself, she was a professional, on a completely different level than himself. He couldn't really speak for Gin, on the other hand- his interactions with him had always been somewhat minimal, so he didn't really know him half as well as Merlot did.

Gin wasn't _his_ concern though- he was Kudo's. Merlot, naturally, had been left up to him, since he was the only one of them who had a chance to actually deal with her. He'd get backup, of course- he just hadn't quite expected that backup to be _Kuroba Kaito_ , of all people. Just as he thought, there was _no way_ this guy was just a simple magician. He'd seen how nimble and dexterous his fingers were while he showed of magic tricks to pass the time, far beyond the level of the average magician.

A thief, perhaps, and a pro at that. He wondered if Shinichi knew- and came to the conclusion that he probably did. Well, if he was willing to deal with an _assassin_ , it wasn't that strange that he would be able to befriend a thief.

It probably wouldn't take Merlot and Gin all that long to track them down to Osaka- that was something else that Shinichi was counting on. This might very well be the last day they had here to breathe easily. By tomorrow night, it was possible that they would have already tracked them down to this city, if not to their exact location. Once they were in the city, they would fall into the surveillance net that Heizo had set up, at which point, all of their moves would be tracked to the best of the police's ability, and reported back to them. It was an advantage that would give them the upper hand, especially if they were of the mind of hiring anyone to help assist them.

Merlot wouldn't, he knew. She would do as she had done before- come straight to them, looking to do her job. That was how she always worked, always straight to the point. And this time, he imagined that _he_ was also on her list of targets- provided that he didn't end up changing his mind and returning to her side. He knew from the way that Hakuba looked at him that there was still a part of him that suspected that he might once again change his colors. It wasn't something that he could blame him for- really, Hakuba was the only one around here that actually seemed _normal_ sometimes.

Shinichi had gone over the details of the plan one more time after he had gathered them all together. The biggest points were to keep everyone as safe as possible, to separate the two Organization members, and to take Gin and Merlot alive- and even though he had clearly tried not to, his gaze had drifted over towards Paikaru as he spoke. The moment that he caught his eyes, he'd turned back away again, his gaze darting from him as if he himself hoped it had never strayed in that direction.

Well, that too, was understandable.

The other important objective, it seemed, was to prevent Gin from getting _anywhere near_ Ai. Recalling just how deep of a grudge that he bore against the former Organization member known as Sherry, he could more or less understand why that objective was considered just as important as the others. If he had her in his sights, he probably wouldn't stop at anything if it meant that he was able to finally kill her, something he had apparently been wanting to do for a very long time now.

He probably wanted to kill her even more than he did Shinichi, who had brought the whole Organization crashing down, and had seen to the arrest of his partner. There was some pretty deep hatred that ran through his veins towards her. He was always the sort of man who couldn't abide by traitors, from the sound of it.

Come to think of it, that was what he was now, wasn't it? A traitor. He might not have made the choice to join them in the first place, but he certainly had made the choice to _leave_ them- even before he knew who he really was, even before he knew that he used to be their enemy.

"Are ya nervous, Paikaru?" It was Kazuha's voice that broke him out of his thoughts, who had taken one look at the pensive expression on his face, and decided that she didn't like it. "Don't worry! I'm sure everythin' will go fine!"

"I don't get nervous." Paikaru told her simply, shaking his head. Such a thing had been trained out of him long ago- such a thing had no place in his line of work. "Ya sure seem ta put a lot of faith in Kudo-han though. You an' everyone else here, fer that matter."

Well, not that _he_ was any different, as it turned out. He'd been so confident in Shinichi's plan, that he was willing to fight a match that he hadn't been entirely certain that he would win. Was it something leftover from his past life? Perhaps there really was more Hattori Heiji in him than he gave himself credit for.

"Well, he's good at this kind of thing." Kazuha told him simply, a soft smile crossing her face- though there wasn't a hint of joy in it. There was a deep pain reflected in her eyes, a deep regret that was etched into her features. It wasn't hard for him to guess what she was dwelling on- and it was enough to make him turn his gaze away from her, unable to handle it. "At least, most of the time he is. Sometimes, there's things that even he can't predict."

Like summer storms, miscounted bullets, and surging waves.

"Well," Paikaru said simply, getting to his feet, flashing her what he hoped was a decent smile. He didn't like that expression on her face, he decided, and thus he had to try and do something about it. "Maybe this time the unpredictable factors will work ta yer advantage. Who knows, maybe the skies will open up, an' they'll both get struck by lightnin'."

His words seemed to have the desired effect- as a real smile broke out across her face, accompanied by a quick burst of laughter. "After all this time we've spent chasin' 'em, that might actually be a bit of a let down." Kazuha admitted. "But were ya perhaps tryin' ta cheer me up, Paikaru?" Clasping her hands behind her back, she tilted her head, peering up at him slightly. "That's mighty nice of ya, ya know."

" _I_ -!" Almost sputtering out the word, Paikaru felt his cheeks turn a brilliant shade of crimson. Gaze darting away from her, suddenly realizing that while he really _liked_ this sort of expression on her face, as it turned out, he was also physically unable to handle actually _looking_ at it just yet. "W-well, it would be bad if ya let yer feelings distract ya from the task at hand! That's all. There's no need ta read too much into it!"

"Ran-chan's right, ya really are surprisingly shy." Kazuha couldn't help but observe out loud. It was Heiji's face, one she knew so well, even though it changed somewhat with adulthood, but the brilliantly flustered expression that he wore on it was something that was completely alien to it. Still, this one wasn't bad, she decided. It wasn't bad at all. She was almost willing to call it cute, however rooted in terrible things it was. "Don't worry! Once this is all over, I'll praise ya so much, that yer sure ta get used ta it again!"

"I'd rather ya didn't." Paikaru said after a moment, rubbing the back of his neck, still unable to face her eye to eye, though for different reasons now. "I don't really deserve praise."

"Well, _I'll_ be the judge of that." Kazuha said lightly, her smile not fading from her face. "Yer not the one who gets ta tell people whether or not ta praise ya. Besides, I've said it before, haven't I? I don't think yer as bad as ya think ya are."

"This is comin' from the woman who said such cold words about me when she first heard me." Paikaru couldn't help but observe- and almost regretted it right afterwards, watching Kazuha flinch at them as she did. Still, she recovered rather beautifully, all things considered.

"That was then, an' this is now!" Kazuha told him simply, shaking her head. "I know things now that I didn't then. I didn't have the whole picture. That's the only reason why I said somethin' like that. After what I thought they did..." trailing off a little, she cast her eyes downwards, suddenly finding her own feet to be tremendously fascinating, "...I didn't think I was willin' ta deal with them. But it's different if it's you. Because yer still alive, it changes everythin'."

If there was one thing about this situation that ate away at her even more than the knowledge of what Heiji had been made to do, it was the fact that she _owed_ the same people who had taken him away from her. That the same people who had taken Heiji from her had been the ones who had saved his life. More than anything else, she hated that.

"An' ya even kept my charm all this time!" Kazuha almost chirped, looking back up at him, her smile returning. "An' ta think that Heiji used ta complain so much about it before! I'm flattered, Paikaru!"

"Ah... well," glancing away from her once more, Paikaru found a hand straying towards his cheek, scratching it lightly, "...yer welcome, I guess."

"Yeah." Nodding her head, Kazuha couldn't help but let her smile falter once more. She would be lying if she said that she wasn't worried about what was to come. They all would be in danger- but Paikaru- _Heiji_ \- would be in more danger than most of them. There was no doubt that if Merlot couldn't get what she wanted from him, she would probably decide to kill him herself- he'd been the one to say that much. "...Ya will be careful though, right? I already endured a funeral for ya once. I would rather not have ta go through that ever again."

Almost not knowing what to say to that, Paikaru found himself searching for words. Each time he thought he had found something fitting to say, he found himself closing his mouth once more, changing his mind at the last second. He'd never had someone tell him not to get himself killed before- at least, not that he could _remember_.

He got the distinct feeling that it had probably happened many times before.

"You as well, Kazuha." Paikaru said simply, once more breaking eye contact with her. "I'm expectin' you ta fulfill yer promise of givin' me the grand tour, after all. Be careful yerself."

"I will." Kazuha said simply, smiling up at him. "There are a lot of things I want ta show ya, after all. Besides, we have ta start makin' those new memories together, right? I promised ya that too."

"I suppose that ya did." Paikaru said simply, finally managing to cast a glance her way. He wondered what kind of expression he was making right now- it probably wasn't anything that he would have been familiar with on his own face. "I'll hold ya to it, Kazuha."

"Thankfully, _I'm_ a lot better at keepin' promises than ya are." Kazuha quipped lightly, casting him one last smile, before she hurried off to go discuss something with Shinichi in regards to the upcoming plan.

As he watched her go, Paikaru once more found the half remembered words that had bubbled up from deep within his forgotten memories. Words that he was coming to realize were probably his own. Words that he was steadily starting to suspect might have once been directed towards her, though he couldn't remember that much, nor even the context in which they had been spoken.

Words that he could only hope wouldn't echo into the future like prophecy.

 _"Even if I die, I won't let go."_

* * *

"We received word from their group."

Although his longtime friend, Toyama Ginshiro, didn't elaborate on who they were, and what kind of word it was that they had gotten, Hattori Heizo already understood who and what he meant. It wasn't just from the near lifetime he'd known the man, a lifetime that had taught him all too well what that kind of troubled expression on his face meant, though that helped- but it was also because given this timing, there was only one thing that he could possibly mean.

Even though their power had waned considerably since their downfall, the less that Organization was discussed in the open, the better. Even now, one never knew what kind of ears they had listening, even if it wasn't nearly as much as it had been before.

"I see. In that case, notify our officers to keep an eye out, and remind them to not pursue either of the suspects." Heizo said simply, opening one eye up, casting it up towards the his fellow police officer. He was no longer in charge of division one, as he had been in the past- he had transferred divisions once his daughter had joined the police force, not wanting to risk any chance that their relationship might complicate matters at some point along the road. Heizo's own position in the police force hadn't changed at all- although after his involvement in bringing down that Organization, he had been offered the chance to take an even further promotion, an offer to switch from the prefectural police, to the national police force.

He'd turned it down. At their core, his reasons for pursing _them_ had nothing to do with justice- at the very least, not the kind of wide-sweeping justice that others were seeking. His reasons were far more personal- after what they had done to his son, there was no way that he could have allowed such an Organization to continue to exist.

He had always been worried that one day, his son was going to do something either foolish or hotheaded, and as a result, was going to suffer dire consequences. It had always been there, in the back of his mind, ever since Heiji had started earnestly pursuing detective work- that one day, he might never come home. He hadn't realized exactly how dangerous of a situation his son was involved in until the news finally broke, that his son was likely dead.

He had pressed the FBI agent that had come to their doorstep for details, and she had readily given them to him. If he had the chance to do it all over again, he would have paid a bit more attention to his son's activities- perhaps if he had noticed what he was involved in a bit earlier, his fate could have been avoided. He wouldn't have ended up burying an empty casket in place of his son's missing body before he even managed to turn eighteen, before he even managed to graduate high school.

His son had lived as a high school detective, and had died as one too.

In an otherwise stellar career with police, his son's death was the only blight that he had on his record- and he'd be willing to exchange his otherwise spotless record just for a chance to bring him back again.

Since such a thing was impossible, moving forward was the only thing that he could do- as was helping to ensure those who had ripped his son from this world far too early would face justice. It wouldn't bring him back- but at the very least, his death wouldn't be without meaning.

In the end, Heizo never did quite have it in him to blame the one who had ultimately lead his son to his death. Kudo Shinichi blamed himself enough as it was already- and he had been no older than his son at the time. He was someone that his son considered to be a best friend, and he knew full well that wouldn't be what Heiji would have wanted- and in the end, even though they didn't talk all that much, he understood his son well enough to know that even if he knew what kind of fate was awaiting him, he would have done the same thing all over again.

That was the kind of person he was.

"I've already informed them." Ginshiro said simply, a tight frown on his face. Heiji's death had shaken everyone hard- and for a time, he had been worried that it was almost too much for his daughter to bare. In the end, Kazuha had managed to recover, and bounced back from it stronger than ever- even though she continued to insist that Heiji was still alive, and was out there somewhere, only unable to come back to them for some reason. If that hope was what kept her going from day to day, Ginshiro wouldn't stop her- and he knew that Heizo felt the same way in regards to his wife.

"Good." Giving Ginshiro a curt nod of his head, Heizo rose to his feet. "Most likely, they'll try and create some kind of distraction in order to divert the attention of the police away from what they're trying to do. Whatever that might turn out to be, we need to try and stay one step ahead of him, and hopefully prevent said distraction from creating any causalities. Even one more person dying by their hands is too much."

"Did that Kudo boy send any other word?" Heizo asked, casting a glance over towards Ginshiro. When he had spoken to him earlier, he had gotten the strange feeling that there was still something that he wasn't telling him- but whether that was just about another part of his plan, or something much larger, even Heizo couldn't quite tell. Although he had managed to mask it well, there had been something strange lingering in his eyes that had lead Heizo to suspect as much.

If there was one thing to note, it was the fact that out of the three active Organization codenames that they knew about, Shinichi had only discussed two of them- Merlot and Gin. Paikaru, who he had certainly heard of before this, given how much Kazuha was determined to help catch him, hadn't been mentioned at all. Given the fact that Kazuha had told him that she thought Hakuba was closing in on him not even all that long ago, it was a detail that had struck him as odd- and he couldn't help but wonder if perhaps, this Paikaru was the catalyst for the current series of events.

 _Something_ had drawn them back to Japan after all of these years, and that something couldn't have possibly been Kudo Shinichi's existence alone. He had been here all these years, never so much as even bothering to move from the home that he had resided since he was born. It had to be something else.

For the moment, the most important thing was taking care of the two members who were doubtlessly on their way here. Gin and Merlot had escaped justice for far too long- and if there was anything he could do to help see to their story's conclusion, then Heizo was willing to use as much of his authority as he could to ensure that they were put away, once and for all.

"No, beyond that, nothing." Ginshiro told him simply, narrowing his eyes. Even though he'd already told him what he'd at first suspected was bothering him, that expression hadn't yet disappeared from his face. It was almost as if he was debating telling him something- and after a moment's thought, he seemed to resolve himself to it. "That said, we _did_ get something of an odd report earlier today, from a patrolman working near Ebisu Bridge."

"An odd report?" Heizo asked, sparing him a glance.

"Yes." Nodding his head, Ginshiro quickly recalled the details. "After trying to assist a young man who appeared to be in a great deal of pain, witnesses report that the man who attempted to helped was suddenly attacked by him. Of course, it ended up being nothing serious- the man's arm was twisted around his back, but he apparently didn't end up with any significant injuries, and declined filing a police report about it, claiming that it was purely his mistake. Apparently by the time the police got there, the young man who had assaulted him was already gone."

"Certainly, that's a somewhat odd, but not to the point of putting that kind of expression on your face, Toyama." Heizo noted, opening up one eye, casting an assessing look towards the man. "What is it that haven't yet told me about this?"

"It's the _description_ of the young man in question." Ginshiro told him after a moment's pause, once again considering his words. It wasn't only his description that had caught his eye- if it had only been that, he might have ended up dismissing it as a coincidence after a moment of thought. What _had_ caught his eye even more, however, was- "As well as the woman who came to meet him, and lead him away from Ebisu Bridge. Well, perhaps you would be better off if you read the report for yourself, Heizo."

Accepting the report that Ginshiro extended to him, Heizo paused for only a moment, casting an eye down towards it, before he took it, quickly scanning his contents. From the way his grip on the report tightened, and that familiar way his brows furrowed, Ginshiro knew without having to be told as much that what had stood out to him had done very much the same to his old partner.

"I agree." Heizo noted after a moment, carefully placing the report back down on his desk, deciding that this was a matter he would look into himself when he got a moment's time. "This is quite the odd report that you've brought to me, Toyama. Have you told anyone else about this?"

"No." Ginshiro told him frankly. "Fortunately, the officer who filed the report only transferred here a year ago, and is rather young besides that. For the moment, I'm trying to keep the incident under wraps, if this is what I'm half suspecting it is. It's the _timing_ that concerns me, really."

"So it would seem." Heizo said simply.

It would appear that he might very well have a few _more_ questions than he thought for the former high school detective of the east once this was all over.

* * *

"It's open." Barely sparing a glance up towards the person who entered his room, Paikaru instead focused on confirming that his gun was properly loaded. It would be a disaster if something went wrong at a critical moment because his weapons weren't well maintained. That too, was something that Merlot had drilled into him- how to properly maintain a firearm, as well as use one. It had become something like habit now, to check on them every day, and ensure that everything was still in perfect working order.

He didn't need to look up to know who it was that was paying him a visit anyways. He already come to know them by the sound of their footsteps.

"Let me guess- the reason that ya convinced Kudo-han ta let ya join _my_ team is because yer worried I'm gonna turn tail on ya." Paikaru observed, turning his gun over in his hands, before setting it aside for the moment. Aside from Kaito, the other person working with him would be Hakuba- he knew that Kazuha had tried to convince Shinichi to let her join him, but he wouldn't have it. That was probably for the best- if Merlot came across her, he didn't doubt that she would shoot to kill, without a second's hesitation. "What's it gonna take fer me ta get ya ta trust me, Blondie?"

"Your memories returning, perhaps." Hakuba said simply, giving him a rather hard look, a nearly unreadable expression on his face. When he had first started to chase Paikaru's shadow, he never could have imagined what a complicated affair it would eventually become. "Besides that, I can't think of much else. I might have not liked Hattori-kun, but I did trust him. I can't really say the same for you, I'm afraid."

"We're the same person, ya know." Paikaru pointed out, rising to his feet, tucking his hands inside of his pockets. "But well, I see what ya mean. In yer situation, I probably wouldn't trust me either. But I gotta say," tilting his head to the side, he locked eyes with Hakuba, a small smirk creeping across his face. "...ya must care fer this bunch a whole lot if yer still this wary of me even now. Ya afraid I'm goin' ta break 'em apart again?"

"Hattori-kun's loss impacted them all greatly." Hakuba said cooly, an almost warning expression in his eyes. "You would do well to remember that much, Paikaru. I'm not sure if they'd ever be able to pick up the pieces again if you did something to betray them. It may be true that you and Hattori-kun are the same person, but you've lived completely different lifestyles. I don't intend to forget that, until you've proven me wrong."

"What, so stickin' my neck out fer the lot of ya the other day didn't prove anythin'?" Paikaru asked, almost feeling a tad offended. "Yer a real charmer, Hakuba-han. Ya must be real popular with the ladies."

"I fail to see what that has to do with anything." Hakuba said, his voice dry.

"It was a joke, a joke. Seriously, don't ya have a sense of humor?" Paikaru asked, rubbing the back of his neck, quirking a brow. "Even _Merlot's_ got one of those."

"Forgive me if I don't see anything funny about this situation." Hakuba remarked. Well, that ill placed sense of humor was one thing that he still had in common with Heiji, to be sure. He hadn't exactly missed the way that Paikaru had softened slightly ever since he had come to stay with them- but that could still be an elaborate act. Until he was proven wrong beyond a shadow of doubt, he wasn't going to let go of his suspicions- but if he managed to prove him wrong, he'd properly apologize.

 _If_.

"Speaking of Merlot, you've never given us a proper answer before." Taking a step into the room, Hakuba shut the door behind him, casting an assessing look towards the former assassin. "How exactly is it that you feel about her? From my understanding, she saved your life."

"Yeah, so she could _use_ me." Paikaru muttered, gaze darting over towards his abandoned gun, a complicated mix of emotions crossing his face, before he finally turned back towards Hakuba. "I hold a lot of resentment towards her, if that's what yer askin, Blondie. She saved my life, but only fer her own purposes. Well, don't get me wrong though- I am grateful fer bein' alive, even if this is the kind of life that I got from it. If I'm goin' ta die young, it's gonna be on my own terms."

"And what if she asks you to join her again? What if she promises you things that we can't?" Hakuba asked, not breaking eye contact with him. Even he could start to feel that crawling aura that Ai claimed she could sense from him now- he had been starting to give it off in a rather strong way ever since he had closed the door. "You came to Kudo-kun in an attempt to seek freedom in the first place. You should understand by now that this isn't something we can promise you, whether your memories return or not."

Which from the sound of what that Haibara girl had to say, sounded rather unlikely.

"Freedom, huh?" Paikaru asked, heaving a long sigh. "It's true, that above all else, even more than my memories, I desire freedom. Ya don't know what it's like, Blondie. Wakin' up ta a world where ya don't remember anythin', lettin' yerself be twisted into somethin' ya only realize way too late ta change anythin' that yer not. Well, I guess I'll spare ya the sob story, though, it's not like yer the type ta care that much about that sort of thing in the first place."

"An' maybe yer right. Maybe there's a chance that I might really betray all of ya." With a shrug of his shoulders, Paikaru admitted that much rather easily. It had always been something in the back of his mind- that he might abandon them or otherwise betray them in their hour of need, just to save his own skin. After all, he was an assassin- a killer- to think that someone like him would ever develop feelings like friendship, or love, was frankly absurd. Even if he was given such feelings, he didn't know what to do with them when he got them.

"But ya know," Paikaru began, an almost hesitant note in his voice. This wasn't something that he had told anyone yet, and to think that the first person he was talking to it about was _Hakuba_ , of all people- what a joke. "...I don't want that. I don't have confidence that I won't do somethin' like that, but I'd rather not." Giving him another shrug of his shoulders, he tucked his hands back into his pockets, taking half a step back. "Maybe there's just some part of me that's desperately tryin' ta be somethin' that I'm not, tryin' ta be someone that I don't know if I can actually become again, but... frankly, I'd rather not do anythin' ta hurt any of ya any further."

"Ah, except fer _you_ , Blondie. I think I could live with somethin' bad happenin' ta ya." He quickly added, flashing him a rather bright grin.

"Charming." With a long sigh, Hakuba closed his eyes, processing what he had just been told. "For the moment, I'll put my own faith in those words, Paikaru." He said, slowly opening his eyes, locking eyes with the former high school detective of the west. "Don't make me regret it. Once all of this is over, you have to stick around and face whatever punishment you're going to get from the law."

Even if that was death.

"Well," Although his smile didn't falter, the nature of it changed, shifting from something quite natural, to something far more business like, Paikaru shrugged his shoulders once more. "I can't make any promises in regards ta that. But at the very least, I'll stick around ta the very end of Kudo-han's plan. Everythin' after that..."

"Well, without havin' surprises in it, life would be pretty borin', right?"

"Quite frankly, you were a surprise that I could have done without." Hakuba told him frankly, reaching for the door handle, opening it back up. Pausing for a moment, he turned to spare a glance back towards Paikaru. "But I suppose for the sake of everyone else, I'll just have to bear with you. But for their sakes as well- think about them for a little while before you decide whether or not you're going to disappear on them all again."

"To them, your place is here."

* * *

"Why are ya tellin' me this _now_?"

"Because I thought it would be important for you to know before _they_ arrived." Ai kept her words rather simple. With someone like Toyama Kazuha- the direct approach was always the best. In the end, Shinichi had left the decision of what to tell both Paikaru and Kazuha alike in regards to her theory about the former's memory. While she had decided against telling the person themself, fearing that it might lead to an undesired outcome, after some deliberation, she decided that Kazuha probably deserved to know.

She didn't know Kazuha all that well, even after all of this time. The two of them really never had much reason to spend time together, at least not outside of the yearly memorial services for someone who had turned out to not even be dead. To Kazuha, she was simply a brilliant young girl, who was in danger from the Organization. The specifics of how she had come here, and who she was had never been shared with her- as indeed they hadn't been with anyone else. Outside of the Shinichi and the Professor, the only people who knew about her hidden truth were few and far between.

That was how she preferred it. Even once Gin was captured, she doubted that would change. There was no longer any reason for Miyano Shiho to exist in this world, after all.

"So what are you sayin' here, Ai-chan?" Kazuha asked, swallowing a little, before she faced the unusual junior high school student head on. "That Heiji might never remember anythin'?"

"I didn't go that far." Ai told her, shaking her head. "Just that the path to regaining his memories might be more fraught with issues than I initially expected. Even with this handicap, it's still possible for him to slowly being to recall things over time. It's just unlikely to happen all at once, unless something causes the mental wall that he's built up to come tumbling down."

And tumbling down _safely_ , she couldn't help but mentally add. If it came down any way other than him believing it was now no longer needed, she could only imagine that the results would be disastrous. Losing his memories all over again, or developing a spilt personality were all possibilities, though granted, psychology wasn't exactly her speciality. She would have to study more if she really wanted to start to design a working theory as to what could happen in the worst case scenario.

Hopefully, it wouldn't come to that.

"With time and patience, he might be able to slowly recall his past." Ai told her, for a moment wondering if she had made the right choice her. Surely, hearing that the childhood friend that you had been waiting for all this time might never remember you, at least not nearly as quickly as one hoped, wasn't easy news to take. "But forcing it might be dangerous."

"...I see." Kazuha said after a moment, taking in and letting out a deep breath, finally turning to face Ai again. "Thanks fer lettin' me know that, Ai-chan. I appreciate it."

Blinking a little, Ai tilted her head, giving her a rather curious look. "You're not upset?"

"I'd be lyin' if I said I wasn't a little upset." Kazuha told her, shaking her head. "But I already promised him. That even if he doesn't regain his memories, that we would make new ones together." Placing her hand over her heart, she gave her a soft smile. "An' that fer the ones that he couldn't remember, I'd treasure them all in here, fer the both of us. Rather, the fact that ya've confirmed that it might be possible fer him to gradually remember things is a big relief."

"I guess after all this time, an' even after what's happened, I'm still I'm love with him." Kazuha told her, almost seeming a bit sheepish to admit this to someone several years younger than her- even if Ai sometimes felt a little older. She really was mature for her age. "I thought that those feelings might change a little as I get ta know him all over again, but it seems like they're the same as they ever where. Sure, there's things different, but... he really is still Heiji."

"Ah, but sorry. Ya didn't actually ask fer any of that, did ya?" Giving her something of an apologetic smile, Kazuha let out a slightly nervous laugh. "Gettin' told all that by someone over ten years yer senior must be weird."

"I don't mind it." Ai told her simply, closing her eyes. "If anything, I'm a bit jealous about the strength of your feelings, Toyama-san. I can only hope that things work out for you. Well," peeking one eye open, a slightly sly smile worked it's way onto her lips. "...I think there's a good chance that he might still return those feelings for you, even after all of this time. That's Kudo-kun's _own_ running theory, at the very least. He says that he probably spared that girl who lead you to him in the first place because she reminded him of you, on some subconscious level."

"Eh? That's the first I've heard of that! I mean, I heard that he had spared her on purpose, but..." Kazuha blurted out, her cheeks turning a bright shade of crimson. "Is that true, Ai-chan?"

"Well, Hattori-kun's never confirmed it himself one way or another, but it would appear that seems to be the case." Ai told her. "Hakuba-kun confirmed that she looked a lot like you used to when you were seventeen himself." Unable to help but get some amusement out of the flustered reaction that she was getting from her, Ai's smile grew. "It would appear that you've made the strongest impact on Hattori-kun's memories, Toyama-san. I would say that bodes rather well for you."

"Well, we are childhood friends." Kazuha said, trying to do something about the redness of her cheeks, to very little avail. "But I see... that's good, I suppose. But it's probably only because he's kept the charm that I made for him with him all this time."

"I wouldn't sell yourself short like that." Ai said simply, shaking her head. "Well, in any case, good luck tomorrow. You're likely going to need all that and more."

"Do ya really think they're be here tomorrow?" Kazuha asked, grateful for the change of subject, latching on to it as quickly as she could. "I know that Kudo-kun said that much as well, but..."

"I can't speak for Merlot, as I've never met her, but knowing Gin..." Closing her eyes, Ai forced back the cold chill that threatened to creep over her at the mere mention of the man's name. At the very least, she and the Professor wouldn't be alone here tomorrow. Sera's role was to protect the two of them- but most especially herself, it seemed. "...he'll come. And as quickly as possible. Tomorrow's a pretty fair estimate. That's the sort of man he is."

She could only hope that by the day after tomorrow, she would finally be completely free of him. And not just here- but everyone, really. Ever since Hattori Heiji disappeared into the stormy sea, the shadow cast by the Organization wasn't something that only fell over herself and Shinichi- but everyone that Heiji had ever been close with. And even though it was an event that in the end, helped them gain strength that they didn't have before, to once and for all bring down most of the Organization, it was still an event that history could have done without.

"I see." Kazuha said simply. She didn't know what Ai's history was with the Organization, nor with the person known as Gin. It didn't feel right to ask, really. "That's good then." Nodding her head, Kazuha hit her open hand with a fist, narrowing her eyes sharply. "The faster that I can bring justice ta those bastards that did such a thing ta Heiji, the better. I'll make them _pay_."


	15. Promises

AN: Sorry about the delay, I was caught up with various circumstances (including such _fun_ things as ice storms and power outages). But here's the fifteenth chapter at last! As always, thanks for reading, and it would be lovely if you could leave a review on your way out!

Until next time!

* * *

 **Phantasmal Black**

 **Chapter Fifteen**

 **Promises**

* * *

"Still, when you told us this part of your plan, I was surprised, Shinichi-kun. Considering that you said as much at the onset, I was under the impression that you didn't want to involve them in this matter."

"I said I didn't want them involved with _Paikaru_ just yet." Shinichi clarified, glancing over towards Sera, giving her something of a half-smile. This was one part of the plan that he hadn't mentioned to Paikaru- or Kazuha, for that matter. "I never said that I wanted to keep them out of the matter entirely. As it stands, the FBI have more authority to punish the Organization than the Osakan police, and they'll probably be more secure in their care once the matter is finished. That's why I called them here."

Well, that, and there was the fact that they had one of the best snipers he had ever known among their ranks. If push came to shove, having someone like Akai Shuichi on their side might actually tip the scale in their favor. She might be a highly trained assassin, but Merlot's specialities lay in more direct assaults- even someone like her _surely_ couldn't dodge a sniper's bullet.

From the way that Paikaru spoke of her, he kind of got the impression that dodging a _regular_ bullet would be something that Merlot wouldn't have a problem with. Or rather, judging from the information that he had managed to pry from Paikaru, he already knew that she was capable of such a feat. Considering that she was starting to approach an advanced age now, he couldn't help but briefly wonder what she would have been like in her prime.

He was kind of grateful that he would never have to find out.

" _You_ called them? _I_ was the one who called my brother, you know." Sera told him, shooting him something of a sharp look, one that was nevertheless quickly replaced by a bright smile. "But you're certainly right. You should just be grateful that they managed to get here on such short notice. I'm sure my brother will be fine, but I have to hope that Jodie-san isn't prone to bad jet lag."

"I knew that if you mentioned anything about _them_ , they would be sure to come quickly." Shinichi said simply. "They can't exactly call it case closed until they're finally put the Organization to rest for good."

"Well, that's true." Sera admitted after a moment, letting out a small laugh, even as she kept her eyes peeled on her surroundings. She wasn't exactly _nervous_ , but carelessness was the sort of thing that got people killed. Best to keep her eyes and ears open, just in case they had already been tracked this far. "But is it fine for us to be waiting for them out in the open like this? I know to some degree you actually want to attract _their_ attention, but..."

"It's fine. There's still time before they manage to track us to Osaka." Shinichi said simply. After the meeting had finished, Sera had gotten a message from her brother informing her that they were almost here- and since they couldn't exactly give two FBI agents directions to the place where they were hiding an internationally wanted assassin, they had instead come here to pick them up. "And if it were a problem on their end, I'm sure they both would have deigned to fly in on a normal passenger plane. They're using one because it obviously isn't. Besides, there's no way we can bring either of them back _there_."

In truth, this was a gamble. Even if he had brought them in mostly to assist with any possible diversions that the Organization might create to distract the police, and to assist with the with the aftermath, there was still a risk. That in the middle of the chaos, it was possible that they might become aware of Paikaru's existence before he had the chance to tell them about him himself. He currently had no plans to inform them about his existence until the matter was over- although if pressed, he would at the very least admit to that much.

Giving away anything about his actual identity would come later, no matter what. He had every intention of seeing what kind of deal he could strike with Jodie, one that if nothing else, would at the very least spare his life. Something that complicated would only muck up what was about to come, and could be dealt with later- provided that Paikaru didn't decide to vanish back into ether once they took their eyes off of him. In that case, it might be better if the FBI left here without any further details about Paikaru.

Even though he was certain that Paikaru wouldn't betray them, even _he_ couldn't say for sure if he would really stick around or not afterwards. There was no way for him to ultimately determine something he knew that even the person himself didn't know yet. He wanted to believe that he would- but that all depended on how much Paikaru's desire for answers, for his past, outweighed his desire for freedom. The feelings he doubtlessly still had for Kazuha tipped the scale somewhat in favor of him staying, but with an uncertain future ahead of him, and no guarantee that he would even regain his memories if he did stay, it was impossible to truly determine what would happen.

He knew that he shouldn't, but there was a part of him that wanted to forever keep his silence if Paikaru wanted to go. Perhaps it would be for the best to keep the knowledge that Hattori Heiji was still alive among those who already knew it, and let the world slowly forget the assassin known as Paikaru. After this, after coming to know the truth, he doubted that he would kill anyone anymore, at the very least. He would probably disappear from the world, never to resurface.

Unless he one day regained his memories, that was. If something like that happened, Shinichi had no doubt that the former detective of the west would return from the dead to turn himself in. With his memories, Hattori Heiji would surely submit himself to whatever justice was waiting for him- but _without_ them, even the Heisei Holmes himself couldn't deduce that much.

"That's definitely true." Sera said after a moment, nodding her head. "I won't say anything about Paikaru, just as I promised before, Shinichi-kun. Even though I imagine Shu-nii will get mad at me if he finds out later." She seemed to brush off the prospect of his anger with a quick grin, knowing that it wouldn't go anything beyond an older brother frustrated with a mischievous younger sister- even though she was an adult now, that hadn't changed. "It isn't just us that has been chasing the two of them, you know, the FBI has as well."

Heaving a long sigh, she placed her hands on her hips, shaking her head. "Still, to think that it would turn out to be Heiji-kun in the end. Fate really does work in mysterious ways."

"I'd rather not think this is Hattori's _fate_." Shinichi couldn't help but note, a rather grim expression crossing his face. "He was a good person. He didn't deserve any of this."

" _Was_?" Sera couldn't help but ask, taking note of the past tense. Her gaze sliding over towards Shinichi, a slight frown graced her features. "Do you not think that any longer?"

At the long moment of silence her words earned her, she half thought that her question wouldn't be answered at all. In the end, Shinichi drew in a long breath, closing his eyes, as if trying to shut them tight against the reality he had been thrown into. "I can't exactly call a _murderer_ a good person, even if he was- _is_ my best friend. What he is now is someone doing his best to redeem himself as much as he possibly can. I think he would probably agree."

"Heiji-kun or Paikaru?" Sera asked, her gaze lingering on him for a moment longer, before she turned away. That was the sort of expression she hadn't seen on his face in a long time- with guilt etched into every feature. It had been harder to bear on the face of Edogawa Conan, and still hard to bear on the face of seventeen year old Kudo Shinichi. Even now, with five years time put between the two, it still wasn't an easy thing to look at.

"Both of them." Shinichi said finally, taking in and letting out a long breath, forcing himself to open his eyes again. He wasn't a child anymore, not even one merely in appearance only- he was a proper adult. And adults faced reality head on, for everything it was worth.

Thinking back on it now, whether he had been seventeen or seven, it didn't actually make much of a difference. He had still been just a child back then, as had they all. He understood his father's objections to him investigating the Organization himself better now that he was older- and he wished he could go back in time and tell his younger self that much, to not be stubborn. But he had been young- too old to realize how young he was, and too young to _fully_ understand the possible consequences of the path he was about to set himself on, as much as he thought he knew the risks.

Reflecting back on it, he knew that he never should have dragged Heiji into what was ultimately his own mess. Because of that, everything had been stolen from him. Even as he, the one who had lead him to this fate, was able to have everything that he had taken from him.

"Now then," with a slight smile, he dashed away any such feelings of guilt from his expression, leaving behind only the lingering traces that never quite faded. "...it looks like their flight has arrived. Let's not keep them waiting, shall we? We're on a bit of a tight schedule, after all."

* * *

"Hey, where's Kudo-han?"

"There's such a thing as _knocking_ , Paikaru." Ai dryly observed, barely sparing him a glance. "I'd ask if you were raised in a barn, but I suppose effectively being raised by the Organization would have pretty much the same effect."

"The Organization didn't _raise_ me." With a rather surly expression on his face, Paikaru folded his arms in front of him, shooting the girl a rather sour look. A part of him begrudgingly understood what she meant, and that technically speaking, she was more or less right- but that same part of him couldn't help but grumble about the way people around here would sometimes treat him strangely like a child. "Anyways, where's Kudo-han? I wanted ta go over some last minute details with him while I still had the chance. I looked everywhere, an' he ain't around."

"He went out with Sera-san awhile ago." Ai told him simply, glancing over towards him. Of course, she knew the real reason why he had left, but she had been instructed not to tell him. If Shinichi's secrecy only came back to bite him in the ass later, she had already given him fair warning before this. "Probably to speak with your father again regarding tomorrow."

"Ah, that's right," Rubbing the back of his neck, Paikaru let out a long sigh. It was strange to hear people speaking of his father, and addressing him as such- he had spent such a long time under the impression that he didn't have anything like that, after all. And to think, out of all the things that he could be, he was _Osaka's chief of police_ \- he really had no luck. "...since there's a chance that those two might try somethin' tomorrow. I'm guessin' that Kudo-han wants ta make sure that nobody gets hurt, right?"

"He's always been that type, ever since I first met him." Ai said, heaving a long sigh, sensing that she wasn't going to get rid of him for awhile yet. Setting down her notes, she finally turned her attention towards him, spinning her chair in his direction. "You didn't only come here to ask about Kudo-kun, did you?"

"Ya really are a sharp one, little Neechan." Paikaru observed, giving her something of a smile. It did nothing to offset the crawling aura that she could sense around him, but she had time already to more or less get used to it. It didn't bother her half as much as it did at the beginning. "Actually, I have somethin' ta ask ya."

"Is it about your memories?" Ai asked.

"Oh, ya really _are_ a sharp one, aren't ya?" Paikaru repeated. "No wonder why ya were able ta create that _Ahoutoxin_ poison, or whatever it was that old man keeps ramblin' out."

" _Apo_ toxin." Ai corrected him, her eyes narrowing sharply. Honestly, he had made that _same_ mistake once before- some things really didn't change. "And there's not much else that you would come to speak to me about, Hattori-kun, aside from the Organization itself. We do have a fair bit in common in regards to that, after all."

"Well, ya've got a point there." Paikaru admitted, taking a step inside the room, closing the door behind him. Although he didn't miss the slight way that Ai tensed as he did so, it only took her a second to get that out of her system- she really had gotten a bit more used to him. "It's not a bad time or anythin', is it? I'd say I'd come back later, but who knows if there'll even be somethin' like that?"

"I suppose that's true." Ai said simply. "So? What's on your mind? Have you started remembering anything?" She had told him to come see her if that was the case, but she wasn't sure if he would or not. She was the closest thing that he had to a doctor right now, although, he really should be checked out by a proper one at some point. Not to mention a proper _psychologist_ , something he probably needed far more than a doctor.

But the odds that they would be able to find one willing to treat a _former assassin_ were fairly low. Considering that was the root of his current problems, rather than his memory loss, such a thing would be necessary.

"Well, it's somethin' like that. Can I have a seat?" Glancing towards one of the other chairs in the room, he watched as she gave him a rather curt nod of her head. Taking a seat in the chair, Paikaru considered his words for a few moments. He didn't think it was a good idea to tell her about his dreams- when he tried to find a way to put them into words, he realized that it only made him sound possibly a _tad bit_ unstable.

That probably wasn't an _entirely_ unfair assessment of his mental state, but his amnesia was causing people enough problem as it was already, he didn't need to bring any of the other issues that he probably had into the mix.

"Earlier today, I thought I was on the verge of remembering somethin', ya know. Back when I went out fer the mornin'." Finally settling on that, he leaned back in his chair, folding his arms in front of her chest, consciously making sure to keep his hands where she could see them. It seemed to make people breathe easier around him when they could see him- although there were exceptions. Neither Kazuha nor Ran ever seemed all that bothered by it. As for Shinichi...

Well, he _tried_.

"Oh?" Blinking slightly, Ai leaned forward in interest. "Do tell me about it, Paikaru. Given that you said you were only on the verge of doing so, I'm going to assume that you didn't actually remember anything."

"Just small flashes of things. Nothin' that made much sense." Paikaru told her, shaking his head. "Somethin' about an arrow, I remember that much. I think it might have somethin' ta do with this scar." Holding up his hand and pointing to the one he meant- he had so many these days, after all. "An' a vague line that I felt like I might have said once. Other than that, not much. I get the feelin' that wasn't what I was even tryin' ta remember in the first place anyways."

"But when I tried ta do that, my head hurt so badly it felt like it was goin' ta burst." Paikaru recalled, grimacing a little at the memory of the pain, for a brief moment, feeling it almost as vividly as he had when it actually happened. Being nothing more than a memory, it passed as soon as it came. "That's probably not a good sign, right?"

"Not necessarily." Ai said simply, schooling her expression into obedience. For the moment, she had decided against speaking to Paikaru in regards to his own condition, for fear that her words might complicate matters too much right now. Later, once everything was over, she would have a proper discussion with him about it. "If anything, it only means that you shouldn't force it."

"Yeah, I kinda gathered that much." Paikaru admitted after a moment, scratching his cheek. He couldn't help but wonder what had happened to that person after that- hopefully he hadn't hurt him too badly. Given the fact that he had more or less laughed it off, that probably wasn't the case, but still...

Reflecting on it a little, he supposed it was a positive sign that he was actually _worrying_ about this. Normally, he wouldn't care about something like this, wouldn't let it concern him in the least. He had already killed any number of people, some only because they had seen his face, so who cared if one stranger ended up with a broken arm or a wrenched shoulder because of him?

Maybe he really _did_ have it in him to give Merlot something of a surprise after all. To tell- no, to _show_ her that there was still more to him than what she had attempted to sculpt him into. That there was something more to him than just the perfect pupil that she had attempted to create out of an empty shell. That underneath the person she had created, underneath _Paikaru_ , there was still something left of that hotblooded, idiotic high school detective that everyone kept telling him so much about.

Such a thing would likely only result in her deciding to kill him, but frankly, it wasn't the first time someone had tried to do the same. He was already used to people aiming for his life, even if he was always the one who ended up taking theirs instead.

"You would do well to keep it in mind, Paikaru." Ai said simply, managing to give him something akin to a smile. "Pain is a warning sign. Powering through it isn't always the correct solution."

"Easy fer you ta say, yer not the one with amnesia." He couldn't help but retort, before heaving a long sigh. "Well, I guess ya've got a point. I don't suppose that Professor of yers has any kind of device lyin' around ta restore memories, does he? That Neechan said before that he invents all sorts of weird things."

"If he had something like that, don't you think we would have tried it already?" Ai asked simply, lifting her brows. "Memories can't be restored that way anyways."

"Yeah, I guess not." Paikaru admitted after a moment. "Well, sorry fer takin' up yer time like this, little Neechan." Rising to his feet, he flashed her another quick smile. "I'll let myself out. If ya see Kudo-han before I do, tell him that I've been lookin' fer him."

"Is there some sort of hurry?" Ai asked, tilting her head slightly. "There's some reason you came to speak with me about your memories, isn't there?"

"Ah, no..." Glancing back at her, Paikaru shook his head, trailing off a little. "It's nothin'. We can't know what the future brings us, after all. I just thought I would ask while I had the chance."

"You make it sound as if you're planning on going somewhere." Ai noted. In some respects, more than anyone else, she really could understand what he was thinking. Their circumstances weren't the same, but at their core, the two of them weren't really that different. The Organization had directly impacted their lives, their very personalities, in a way that neither of them would never be able to shake. Therefore, she understood it- that feeling of wanting to run away from everything that he doubtlessly felt.

She too, had once carried the same feelings in her heart.

"That's not it." Shaking his head, Paikaru simply gave her an awkward smile. Frankly, it wasn't a topic that he really knew how to discuss- he was kind of _new_ to this whole talking about your feelings thing. But at the end of his debate with himself, he had come to a conclusion- that it wouldn't do him any good to doubt himself. He wasn't a good person, would never be a good person like he had been in the past- but that didn't mean he couldn't strive to be a _better_ person than he was.

And for that reason, he couldn't run away. No matter how much he wanted to.

"I have ta pay fer my sins, after all. I couldn't run away from them, even I wanted ta." Paikaru told her, once again finding himself wondering what kind of expression he wore. He still didn't know if he could actually follow through on his words just yet- but for the time being, he was going to put his own faith into himself- since there were already so many other people doing the same.

Really, he didn't understand them at all.

"Even if that means you'll lose the one thing that you've desired more than anything?" Ai asked, carefully leveling her gaze with his.

"Yeah. I made a promise after all." He told her.

"To who?"

 _"Ya'd better look after them, Paikaru. There's nothin' I can do fer 'em now."_

 _"Surprisingly enough, you apparently don't have to tell me that much."_

"Myself."

* * *

"I've got the basic gist of the situation." With a firm nod of her head, Jodie Starling glanced up at the young man sitting in the seat in front of her. It had been awhile since the two of them had seen each other last- not for the past three years, really, when she asked for his help on a difficult case that she had been assigned. "Of course, Shu and I are more than willing to lend the Osakan police a hand. Is it your desire to extradite both Gin and Merlot to America, then?"

"Yeah." Shinichi said, sparing the woman a brief glance, before turning his focus back on the road. "It's best that we keep Gin as far away as possible from Haibara. Even if he ends up in prison, I doubt she'll ever feel entirely comfortable knowing that he's still in the same country as her. Extraditing Merlot might be a bit more difficult given her skill set, but I think that would also be for the best."

"Is there some kind of reason for that?" It was the first time he had spoken up since they had gotten into the car. Aside from exchanging greetings- mostly with his younger sister, he had been mostly silent during the entire trip, as if there had been something on his mind. Since he had always been that way, Shinichi really wasn't sure if it was a good or bad thing. "I can understand your reasons for wanting Gin out of the country, but I don't believe that Merlot has particular interest in anyone here, not from what I've heard, at the very least."

"She does." Exchanging a brief glance with Sera, one that he caught both FBI agents catching notice of in his peripheral vision, Shinichi's grip on the wheel tightened. "She does have someone that she's interested in, in this country. Perhaps more than one, if my theory is correct."

It was the main reason why he had arranged for Kazuha to join his group, and go after Gin. Whatever kind of mental block he might have protecting his memories, one thing was clear to him- that Kazuha was probably the trigger for his memories. Whether it was because of their deep childhood bond, or because he had held onto her charm all this time as a memento, he couldn't say- but that much at least, he was fairly certain of. Given that the trouble had begun when Paikaru had decided to spare the life of a girl who had resembled Kazuha in her teenage years, it wouldn't surprise him if a target had been painted on her back.

Just from speaking with him, the one thing he was able to gather about Merlot was that she had a rather possessive nature of anything that she considered hers. Be it an object, or a pupil she had trained- as long as they carried merit and worth for her, she wasn't interested in seeing them taken away. She had gone to this much trouble to turn Heiji into something like that, he doubted that she was interested in letting go of him this easily- and if killing Kazuha could sever a connection to his old life, she probably wouldn't hesitate.

Kazuha was strong, but unlike the woman hunting them, he knew that she couldn't dodge bullets.

He didn't want to rob Heiji of anything else.

"Eh? Who?" Jodie blinked, a concerned look crossing her face. "Don't tell me that someone is being targeted by her? It's not those two who were trying to track them, is it?"

"That's a part of it." Shinichi told her. "But more importantly, she hasn't even been active in Japan for the past five years. There's plenty of other countries that have a more pressing need than Japan to try her for her crimes. Didn't she kill someone of rather high rank in America two years ago? A governor of some sort, if I recall correctly. The FBI has been getting some flak over that lately, since you haven't been able to produce the culprit, haven't you?"

"That's correct. It caused quite a panic at the time." Shuichi observed, gaze fixed on the head of the young man. He had caught a hint of it when he had spoken to his sister over the phone, but now that he was actually here, he could be sure of it- there was something that was being kept from them. More or less, he had a vague idea as to what it could be- there was one remaining Organization member who hadn't been mentioned yet. "While we were able to track down the person who hired them in the first place, we weren't able to track down Merlot themselves."

"Well, as long as the Japanese police have no issues with it, I suppose we don't either." Jodie said after a moment. "Of course, I'll have to contact James about the matter to make arrangements, but it should be more than possible."

"Good." Shinichi said, nodding his head. "There's actually another matter I need to speak with you about once all of this is over, Jodie-san."

"Eh? Another matter?" Jodie inquired, a slight frown on her face. "Come to think of it, Kudo-kun, you haven't once mentioned that pupil of Merlot's. Does it have something to do with that?"

"A traitor, perhaps." Shuichi observed, carefully gauging the reactions of those sitting up front, the small way that they both flinched. "For assisting in the capture of both Gin and Merlot, and finally bringing a close to the Organization, he's asking for some kind of deal, isn't he?"

"Yeah, something like that." Shinichi said after a moment. That had hit a bit _too_ close to the truth there- even though he was the one asking for the deal, not Paikaru himself. Still, since they had brought him up like he thought they would, he couldn't exactly lie to them. "Right now, I haven't told him I've contacted the FBI just yet, so if at all possible, I want to avoid the three of you meeting until the matter is dealt with."

"Can you really trust him though?" Shuichi asked, slightly arching his brows. It was a bit curious that someone who could be as paranoid as Kudo Shinichi had so freely welcomed an Organization member into their midst, during such a difficult operation- although if his guess wasn't wrong, the Organization member in question was probably the _cause_ of the current operation.

"I can trust him." Shinichi said simply. "There's no one else who despises Merlot more than him, I can assure you of that much, at the very least. As for the rest... well, I'll explain that to you later. It's something of a complicated situation."

"Well, if that's your judgement, Kudo-kun, I see no reason to oppose it." Jodie said after a moment. There was definitely something more to this, that much she could sense. "But I don't know if we'll be able to arrange a deal or not either way. At the very least though, I would be willing to hear you out, and to meet him, if that's what you want. We do owe you quite a bit, after all."

"Thank you, Jodie-san." Shinichi said simply. "And you as well, Akai-san, for coming out all this way on such short notice. Hopefully there won't be a situation in which we'll end up needing your sniping skills, but it's better safe than sorry. We can't allow them to create any more victims than they already have."

"Don't worry, Kudo-kun." Jodie told him, giving him a small smile. He really had grown up quite a bit since the last time she had seen him- and she didn't mean just in height. "In the event that they try anything, we'll make sure to handle it properly. You can concentrate on what you need to in order to capture them. It's high time we bring an end to their nightmare once and for all."

* * *

"Ya _will_ let me know if somethin' happens, right?"

"Ah, well, that's..." Trailing off a little, Kaito took a slight step back, wondering what he could do to escape this situation. While it might not be often that someone managed to corner Kaito Kid, _Kuroba Kaito_ was a different story entirely.

Granted, he was used to the one doing the cornering being Aoko- and not a rather insistent young woman with an Osakan accent. He could sort of understand the reason why she had approached _him_ , and not Hakuba, in spite of having worked with him for these past five years or so. He would probably be the easier of the two of them to convince.

"Ya _will_ , won't ya, Kuroba-han?" Kazuha asked again, taking another step forward for his step back, folding her arms in front of her chest. In spite of being clearly shorter than him, for a moment, it almost felt as if she was towering over him- this woman could seriously be scary if she wanted to be! "If somethin' happens ta Heiji, or if somethin' looks like it's gonna happen ta Heiji, I wanna be the first person ta know about it."

"And what would you do if I told you that much, Toyama-san?" Kaito asked. The only thing stopping him from scooting back any further was the wall behind him. Still, he managed to somewhat keep his composure- or at the very least, a respectable amount of it. "You should understand the reasons why Kudo-kun decided not to put you with us in the first place."

"Of course I _understand_ them." Kazuha said simply, heaving a long, drawn out sigh. "But that doesn't mean that I _agree_ with them, or that I have ta completely accept them. The only reason I'm not outright objectin' ta them is because I know that Kudo-kun's plans _usually_ are the best there are. I'll do my part as I'm required, but Heiji's my childhood friend, an' I don't wanna risk losin' him again this time."

"Well, that I can understand, but..." Trailing off a little, Kaito took in and let out a deep breath, realizing that she wasn't going to give in. "Well, I suppose I can contact you if it looks like there's any serious trouble. As long as you agree that you're not just going to charge in recklessly if something like that happens. Kudo-kun and Mouri-san might be in trouble if you're not there when they need you, after all."

"Good!" With a firm nod of her head, a pleased smile crossed Kazuha's face, taking two steps back to give him some breathing room. "That's what I wanted ta hear! Thank ya, Kuroba-han!"

Watching as she headed back down towards the living room, apparently satisfied with his promise, Kaito couldn't help but feel as if he had just had five years taken off his life. An intimidating aikido master cop, and a former detective turned assassin- what a pair of childhood friends they were.

* * *

"Oh, there ya are, Kudo-han!" Glancing up from the magazine that he had begun flipping through out of boredom, Paikaru found a smile crossing his face as a face that was now slowly starting to become familiar to him returned. Since he wanted to speak with him as soon as he got back, he had decided that waiting by the door would be best. "I was startin' ta get a bit bored, waitin' fer ya!"

"I can gather that much from your choice of magazines." Shinichi noted, glancing down towards the one in his hand, watching with a slight smile as Paikaru tossed it back down on the table. That was definitely one of Ai's. "Been investigating the latest trends?"

"Well, somethin' like that. Apparently red heels are really hot this year!" Paikaru informed him, getting to his feet. Well, he had only grabbed it because it was in arm's reach, and he didn't feel like going to get anything else. There wasn't much else to distract himself with here- if he had known it was going to be like this, he wouldn't have gone through all of those novels Shinichi had given him so quickly. "But it took ya long enough! Ya done discussing things about the comin' days with the police?"

"Yeah, pretty much. I left Sera-san there to deal with the rest." Shinichi told him. He wasn't really lying, so much as he was omitting a few details. It was probably for the best that things were going to be rather busy in the coming day or two, however long it would take for Gin and Merlot to track them here. There was a look in Heizo's eyes that told him that there was something that he wanted to discuss with him, and Shinichi had taken that as his cue to make his quickest exit out of there that he could. "If the Organization tries anything tomorrow to take up the attention of the police, they should be prepared."

"Ah, that old man really likes those kind of tactics." Paikaru observed, folding his arms in front of his chest. "Well, Merlot has always been more straightforward though."

"So you've told me." Shinichi said. "I'm counting on you tomorrow, Paikaru. You're the only one of us who really knows anything about that woman. You can do it, right?"

"Well, I'll give it my best shot." Paikaru told him, shrugging his shoulders. "That's about all I can say. It would be easier if ya'd let me kill her, but..." Realizing those words were a mistake as soon as they left his mouth, he frowned, reaching up to rub the back of his neck. "I suppose it can't be helped. She needs ta properly face trial, right? Can't really do that if she's dead."

"Yeah, that's right." With a rather curt nod of his head, Shinichi let out the breath that had caught for a moment in his throat. He could only hope that there would come a time when he would hear such words come so easily from him. Jodie was certainly right- even if the FBI did owe him quite a bit for what he had done in the past, arranging a good deal for Heiji wasn't going to be that easy.

Still, he had to try. It was his fault that he was in this situation in the first place.

"...Sorry." The words almost came out as a whisper, to the point where he wasn't quite sure he had even spoken them. Once it was out in the open, it felt as if it were something that he had been needing to say for a long time- even if it was inadequate for the scale of the apology needed. "I didn't mean ta say somethin' like that in front of ya. I'm probably not at all what ya'd hoped I'd been when ya heard I was still alive, huh?"

"Well, considering the other option was that Hattori betrayed me, in a way, this is almost better." Shinichi said after a moment, giving him something of a sad smile. "One way or another, I'm just glad that you're still alive. It would be nice if you tried to _stay_ that way."

"Well, I'll do my best." Paikaru said after a moment, scratching his cheek, once again finding that he didn't quite know what to say in these situations. If he pulled through this, he was going to have to put some hard work into developing his social skills. "I could say the same about you, Kudo-han. We've only just started ta get ta know each other, an' it would be a shame if ya weren't around if my memories ever come back, seein' how important this Hattori Heiji was ta ya. That Neechan sounds like she's pretty much lookin' forward ta that weddin' of yers as well. Ya probably shouldn't disappoint her."

"I've already had cause to disappoint her for far too long as it is already. I have no intention of doing that anymore." Shinichi said simply, closing his eyes and shaking his head. Leaving Ran alone again wasn't an option, no matter what.

"Well, whatever the case, be careful." Paikaru said after a moment, averting his gaze from him. Just like his exchange with Kazuha had been earlier, he couldn't get rid of this awkward feeling. He really had no experience with this type of thing. The idea that there were people out there who could actually care about him- even if they probably cared more about who he had been than who he was now, was still surreal to him.

He didn't know if that would ever change. Perhaps if his memories returned... but perhaps not. Something inside of him had gotten twisted along the way, and he didn't know if that was something that could ever be fixed.

"Are you worried about me?" Shinichi couldn't help but ask. "I'm honored. Especially considering our first interaction involved you threatening my life."

"Ah, now that ya mention it, somethin' like that _did_ happen..." Paikaru trailed off a little, once more finding a hand straying up to his cheek. "Sorry about that too, I guess."

"Well, to be fair, I was kind of riling you up at the time." Shinichi noted. "And it wouldn't be the first time something like that has happened in my line of work. Speaking of which..." taking a few steps forward so that he could stand in front of Paikaru, he cast his eyes upwards, locking his own with his. Perhaps it was just because he had the chance to get to know him a little better, but no longer did he feel like there was some kind of unknown stranger behind those eyes.

They still belonged to Hattori Heiji, his best friend and rival. He just wasn't the same as he was before. He was already starting to come to terms with this fact. For as much as things had changed- there were still plenty of things that had remained the same.

"I contacted someone who might be able to help strike a deal in your favor, Paikaru. Granted, we don't have much bargaining power in our hands considering your crimes, but at the very least, I don't intend to allow you to face the same fate as Merlot's other pupils." It was the first time he had ever said this straight out- and judging from the look in his eyes, Paikaru knew exactly what he meant. "I'm not sure what more I can do for you beyond that, though."

"Well, that's ta be expected. I've done more than enough ta make 'em lock me away an' throw away the key. Just gettin' ta keep my life already sounds pretty good." With a slight shrug of his shoulders, Paikaru took a step back, tucking his hands into his pockets. It hadn't been that long ago that he actually thought it was a valid idea that he might be forgiven for his crimes if he assisted in bringing down the other two- but the longer he spent here, around these people, the more he came to understand what a foolish notion that was.

The more time he spent around them, the more that he had cause to cautiously unlock the things that Merlot had locked away inside of him. Some of them, only just a crack- things that weren't needed for an assassin, things that Paikaru had no need for. Things that prevented him, in a way, from become a proper human being- making him nothing more than an incomplete empty shell with a hashed together personality. They were necessary for a human, but for an assassin, such things were unimportant.

And the more he began to unlock those things, the more he fully came to understand the magnitude of what it was that he had been doing. While he had always carried it with him to some extent- never being able to forget their names, nor their faces, in some cases not even their dying moments- he had been rather numb to it all, in the end. But bit by bit, piece by piece, that numbness was slowly starting to come undone. More and more, he was coming to understand why he would never be allowed to escape with the things he had done, not even by those who had treasured him in the past, even those willing to accept him as he was now, for reasons he couldn't understand.

The empty shell with no memories and no real name was slowly becoming something like a proper human, he supposed.

It felt terrible. He hated it.

It was also important.

"I'm sorry, Hattori." The name slipped out from him before he could stop it, but the one before him didn't flinch, so he didn't take it back. Perhaps he was apologizing to the memory of him, really- as he had once been, that hotblooded, quick to grin idiot who had wormed his way into his life, only to disappear from it far too quickly. "Once this is all over, there's a limit to the things that I'll be able to do for you. In the end, regardless of circumstances, regardless of blame, you still have to pay for the things that you've done."

"Yeah." Closing his eyes, turning on his heel, Paikaru once again found himself wondering what kind of expression he was making. "I know that. But ya, Kudo-han, ya really shouldn't keep blamin' yerself fer all of this like ya do."

Opening his eyes and glancing back, this expression, at the very least, was one that Paikaru was coming to know- a broad smile that felt like it had once come naturally to him. "I might not know this Hattori Heiji of yers all that well, but at the very least, I get the feelin' that even knowin' what might happen, he'd probably still make the same decision ta go with ya. It ain't yer fault."

And come as early as tomorrow, they would finally deal with the one whom all the blame lay with.

 _Merlot_.


	16. Contact

**AN** : Oh hey, here's chapter sixteen, fresh off the presses! And with it, the beginning of the long awaited confrontation. As always, thanks to everyone who reads this fic, but a special shoutout to those of you who take the time to leave a review afterwards!

Until next time!

* * *

 **Phantasmal Black**

 **Chapter Sixteen**

 **Contact**

* * *

She would come to him.

In this uncertain situation, with too many variable factors to count, the one thing that he knew for sure was the fact that Merlot wouldn't hesitate to come right for him, should she be given the chance. It was touching, almost, the way that Shinichi didn't seem to quite want to use him as bait, in spite of the fact that he was as keenly aware of this fact as he was- but in the end, it was the plan that they had decided to go with.

Because he naturally stood out, it wouldn't be hard for her to find him if she started looking for him. And because he had come to know her better than anyone, if she picked up his trail, he would know. And even if for some reason, he didn't, then those eagle eyes that were tracking his every movement probably would notice something. He didn't doubt that Merlot would just as equally take notice of the likes of Kuroba Kaito, but since he wasn't her main target, she would probably ignore him.

For a professional, it would be rather easy to lose someone tailing them. Well, that was provided that the person tailing them wasn't also a professional- but out of all the things that she could possibly know, that woman had no way of knowing that. Even now, Paikaru wasn't quite sure exactly what it was that Kaito did with his free time that had enabled him to become so good at this sort of thing, but there were moments when even he lost his ability to locate just where he was watching him from.

At first, he thought he had perhaps accidentally lost his tail, but he had been able to confirm through their wireless earpieces that this wasn't the case. He was really something, that Kuroba Kaito- there was probably one hell of a story there too, but not one that Paikaru was really all that interested in. He had more things to concern himself with than Kudo Shinichi's strange choice in friends.

Well, he supposed he fell into that category himself, really- as perhaps the strangest one of them all.

"Ya see anythin' yet, Kuroba-han?" Placing a hand on his wireless earpiece, Paikaru's lips twisted in a frown. It wasn't that he minded being given license to wander around Osaka, but it almost felt like he had a chain attached to him. Well, that too, was a feeling that he was already rather familiar with- it was basically the way that he had felt for his entire life, or at the very least, the five short years that made up the part of he knew anything about.

"No, not a thing. Are you sure that she's not going to try and change her appearance?" Kaito asked, narrowing his eyes as he once more adjusted his binoculars. He could see why it was that Shinichi had called on him now- as much as he hated to admit it, keeping track of someone who was accustomed to moving in a way that was easy to lose wasn't easy. Still, there was no way that the one known throughout the world as the famous Magician in the Moonlight was going to back down from this all too important challenge.

"Probably not. She's not that type." Paikaru said easily, tugging at the hood of his hoodie once more, eyes narrowing slightly as he felt someone brush up too close against him once more. He had been given two tasks- make himself obvious enough for Merlot to find him, but to also avoid the police that were milling about. It wasn't hard to pick out the plain clothes officers from out of the crowd- he had been trained to do that much, after all, but it was a bit of a pain when there were as many of them as there were. He could understand the reason- of course the police would be on edge if they heard that there might very well be dangerous people roaming the streets, looking to start trouble.

Well, the fact that Kudo had given him a short list of police officers in which he should be certain to avoid made things a bit easier. People who would have the most cause to know Hattori Heiji's face, it would seem. They didn't ring any bells with him, but he'd keep an eye out for them regardless. He didn't want to make the situation anymore complicated by throwing the familiar face of someone who should have been dead into the mix.

Even if _they_ didn't try anything, it was better to be safe than sorry. And it would appear that Shinichi's hunch was right- since early that morning, a suspicious package had been spotted on none other than Ebisu Bridge. Although it had turned out to be nothing, there was no way that it was some kind of coincidental prank.

It was a warning.

We've tracked you down this far, it said, even without the need for any kind of words. We've tracked you down this far, and it's only a matter of time before we find out where it is you're hiding yourselves. That was probably that old man Gin's work, rather than Merlot's. The bomb might have been a fake, but there was still a chance that there might be real ones set up somewhere within Osaka- and ever since then, the police had been subtly looking for them, disguising their numbers with plain clothes officers.

That matter was for the man who was supposed to be his father to handle though, not any of them. If they let themselves be swept up in a scenario that Gin wrote, then the chances that things might go south for them increased.

It might have been meant to intimidate, but frankly, he couldn't help but get a little bit excited. Finally, once and for all, he could escape this kind of ball and chain lifestyle he had been living for as long as he had known. It would probably only be for a short while, perhaps no longer than the span of a day- but for everything it was worth, he was planning on enjoying it.

After all, there was no telling what would happen after that. Since he had resolved himself to sticking around to find out, to not run away from here, from his past, he couldn't say what the future held for him. He trusted Shinichi's words, that was waiting for him at the end of this, at the very least, wouldn't be death- the kind of death he had barely escaped from five years ago, taking his memories in exchange.

It was probably wasn't freedom either.

"You sound like you know her rather well, this teacher of yours." Kaito couldn't help but observe. He knew that Hakuba was connected to the same frequency as they were, so perhaps he shouldn't be talking about these sorts of things, but he couldn't help but deny that he was curious. He almost regretted having never met Hattori Heiji, not understanding the reason why he had inspired such deep loyalty from the people who had known him, even for those who had only known him for the span of a year.

"Of course I do. I spent a lot of time with her, after all." Taking in his surroundings, he turned on his heel, deciding to move on. Faintly, he could make out the eyes that had been watching him from the very start move as well, readying themselves to follow him. "I spent five long years under her care, it's only natural that I would learn a thing or two about her durin' that time."

"Not her real name, though." Hakuba's voice made itself known, and hearing the sound of it right in his ear was enough to make Paikaru faintly twitch. "It would be quite useful to us if you happened to know anything like that, Paikaru."

"If she had somethin' like that, it's obvious that she threw it away a long time ago." Paikaru observed, shoving his hands into his pockets as he strode down the street, taking in the scenery around him. It was a strange mix of familiar and not familiar, a strong sense of deja vu following him almost everywhere he went. He had thought that wandering around here might jog his memory a bit, but other than that strange feeling, nothing like that had really happened. Well, given his chat with that Sherry girl yesterday, he couldn't say that he was surprised. "I wasn't given anythin' like that myself either, ya know. The two of us are only just supposed ta be shadows, not actual people. We didn't have any real need."

Frankly, it hadn't even bothered him that much until he had started staying with Shinichi and the others- the lack of a real name to call his own. Sure, he did _technically_ have one, but it was hard to use a name that he didn't feel like he deserved.

Honestly. Becoming a proper human was a bigger pain than he could have ever imagined. It would have been so much easier if he had just stayed as an empty shell, never suspecting that everything that he had been told was a lie.

"Well, if you say it like that, I suppose it might be true." With a slight frown, Hakuba picked up his tea cup, glancing out the window of where he had been stationed. From this cafe, located in a high rise building with windows overlooking the scenery below, he had a perfect view of the building that they had established as their hideout. If something happened, if someone came here who wasn't supposed to, he would be the first person to know.

Of course, when the time came, he would leave this post to join the other two, but he wasn't alone here either. There were plain clothes officers who had been handpicked by Osaka's chief of police himself, stationed in the very cafe, observing the very same building. When he left, they would pick up his slack. Beyond them, Sera was still inside, lying in wait in the event that someone managed to track them that far.

If everything went well, she wouldn't have cause to do anything. If things turned south... she might very well have the most important role of them all. Hopefully it wouldn't come to that.

"I haven't lied ta any of ya yet." Paikaru observed, shaking his head and heaving a sigh. "Honestly, put some more faith in me, Blondie. I want this ta be over with just as much as any of you do."

"Forgive me if I find it difficult to put my faith in an _internationally wanted assassin_." Hakuba noted, dropping his voice so that nobody who passed by could hear him. He had chosen an out of the way seat for just that reason. "Well, if you impress me here, Paikaru, I might change my tune about you a little bit."

"Well, just sit back an' prepare ta be amazed then!" With a broad grin, Paikaru couldn't help but let out a small laugh. It wasn't just Hakuba that he wanted to prove himself to- nor was it even Merlot, really. The person that he wanted to prove himself the most to was probably the one who was no longer here- the one who could no longer come back. For better or for worse, even if he did one day regain his lost memories, that guy was probably gone for good.

But at the very least, he wanted to at least try and be a little bit like that high school detective that people described to him with such fondness. He might have been the younger one, but he couldn't help but angle towards that as his goal, as much as he could. It was probably too little, too late in his case, but a guy could still _try_ , couldn't he?

Although from the sound of it, it would seem as if people would like for him to be a little _less_ impulsive and a little _less_ rash than that one. That too, was something that he couldn't really guarantee them- that element to him had certainly been tempered over the years, but if he didn't have that kind of element to his personality still, he probably wouldn't even be here, in this situation, right now.

"Well, let's not fight, the two of you." Kaito said quickly. There was no way he was going to play peacemaker in this feud of theirs. From the sound of it, Heiji and Hakuba had never gotten along, and the bad blood between the two of them had only gotten worse. "We can't allow ourselves to be distracted, right?"

"I suppose yer right." Paikaru admitted, sparing a glance about his surroundings. Narrowing his eyes at he did so, he slightly turned on his heel, reducing his presence to almost nothing until the scarred man that he had spotted coming his way passed him by, not sparing him so much as a second look. That somewhat round looking man had been one of the pictures that Shinichi had shown him, easy to remember by the scar above one of his eyes, one of the members of Osaka's police force that he had been told to be careful to avoid being spotted by.

"Is something wrong?" With a slight frown, Kaito narrowed his eyes, wondering what it was that he had spotted.

"Ah, no, it's nothin'." Shaking his head, Paikaru let out the breath he had been holding, once more tucking his hands into his pockets and heading on down the street. Pausing only to spare a slight glance back at the figure that had no melded into the crowds, he couldn't help but wonder what kind of relationship the two of them might have had in the past- if Shinichi was telling him to avoid contact with him, they had probably been somewhat close. "I just saw someone that Kudo-han told me ta avoid, that's all."

"I see." With a nod of his head, he let out a small breath. For the moment, things were going well- maybe there would be no need to contact Kazuha after all, in the end. As much as he had doubts that she would actually stay put, he wasn't about to go back on his promise- if only because he knew that if she found out that he had afterwards, there would be hell to pay.

He didn't want to find out firsthand if she was anything like that Mouri Ran woman could be when she was angry. It almost _definitely_ wasn't worth it.

* * *

Every inch of Ebisu Bridge had been checked thoroughly for any trace of a real bomb before it had been allowed to reopen to the public, but even now, there still weren't many people there. It was a far cry from the time that he and Heiji had tried to discover the identity of a drug dealer in the same place- although he hadn't been there in person himself, even through the video call that Heiji had started with him, Shinichi could still tell what a crowded place it was.

In the end, the drug dealer had never shown up, but something rather interesting had nevertheless happened as a result. If only he still had that recording around somewhere, then maybe he could have used it to jog a bit of Paikaru's memory. In the end, it had only been played one more time before it had been deleted from the phones of the Detective Boys forever- played so that the person those words had been meant for could finally hear them.

It had only succeeded in making Kazuha cry again, but it was a different kind of crying from before.

Right now, there was hardly anyone around. People who needed to pass over it did so in a hurry, even though they had been assured that the bomb was just a nasty prank. He knew it was more, but the last thing they needed to do was throw the city of Osaka into a panic over a bomb scare. There was a still a chance that there could be real bombs planted somewhere in the city, very likely in a place just like this one, where many people gathered. But that was something he would have to leave up to the Osakan police and the FBI, and it wasn't the reason why he was here.

He was here to respond to the warning. He didn't doubt that Gin was somewhere, watching the bridge for that very same reason. And if it was his prey that he wanted, then his prey would respond to his warning- by issuing a challenge of his own.

Come and get me.

There was no need to say it out loud, no need to make any obvious movements to convey the message. Just his presence here, on this bridge, was more than enough to say what he wanted to say. There was no way that Gin would forget the face of a person that he had failed to kill, and who had in return, not only helped to capture his partner, but to bring down most of the Organization that he worked for. It would have been burned into his memory, in the same way that the faces of Sherry and Akai Shuichi had been, the same way the faces of the Organization's two moles, Hondou Hidemi and Amuro Tooru, had been.

Probably the same way that Paikaru's face had been- or rather, the face of Hattori Heiji. The gamble that he had wanted to take, sending a former ally to finish off the one who had destroyed so much for him, had ended up turning against him. Someone was prone to holding grudges as Gin was unlikely to let that go.

But probably, Paikaru was still more of Merlot's target this time. If there were a second time, perhaps things would be different- but he didn't plan on allowing such a thing to happen. There would be no second time- right now, he was betting everything he had on ending this, once and for all, today if possible.

Shinichi lingered on the bridge for a moment longer, making certain that his message had been properly delivered. It was dangerous, what he was doing- but if he was going to turn Paikaru into living bait, the least he could do was to do the very same himself. Whether Gin would take the bait and follow him, he couldn't say. It was possible that he would, it was possible that he wouldn't, not wanting to fall into any potential traps that he might have set up for him.

It didn't matter. His goal here was merely to throw back his own challenge in the face of Gin's warning.

Thanks for telling us that you've arrived. Come at us any time, we'll be more than happy to welcome you, it said, without any words needed.

* * *

"It's not often to see you looking so troubled, Heizo."

"A fine thing to say, considering you're the one who brought such a troubling thing to my attention, Toyama." With a slight quirk of his brow, Heizo couldn't help but glance over at his longtime friend, the father of the girl that he had once suspected that his fool of a son would one day marry.

"In my defense, you _were_ the one who asked to see it." Ginshiro noted, turning his gaze back towards the scene that was unfolding before him. It had been awhile since the police headquarters had been this busy- at the moment, it was a flurry of action, all revolving around a rather large map of the city, as police scoured every inch of any potential place that a bomb might be found in.

Even just with this much, even without even having to use any _actual_ explosives, the police were likely to have their hands full for a good bit of time now. No stone would go unturned, and eyes were everywhere, looking for even the slightest bit of suspicious activity, anything that seemed out of place.

"A fair point indeed." Heizo observed, turning his attention towards the two FBI agents who had thrown themselves into the middle of the action- or perhaps that was a more fitting description of the female agent only, who had situated herself right in the middle of things, helping to direct efforts in a way that made it seem as if she had belonged there right from the start.

He had been rather surprised when Kudo Shinichi had returned to police headquarters, with the pair of FBI agents in tow, who he had introduced to him as Jodie Starling and Akai Shuichi. Though even if he said that they had been introduced to him, in truth, he was already somewhat familiar with one- the female agent had been the one who had come to the door of the Hattori household in the first place, five years ago, to inform them of the tragic news.

To think that their paths would cross again like this, when once more, thoughts of his son were fresh on Heizo's mind. And it wasn't only because there was a chance that they were finally closing in on the ones who had stolen his only son from this world- but rather, it was because that there very well might be a real chance that his son hadn't left this world after all.

His body might have never been found, but Heizo had always been a realist. The chances that Heiji could have survived that were next to none, and if by some small miracle he had, the only reason he could think of as to why he wouldn't one day return home on his own was that he was still lying comatose somewhere, as an unidentified patient. Judging from the way that Shinichi had scoured every hospital in Japan looking for even one trace of Heiji, that was probably impossible.

His son stood out far too much to go unnoticed. Even if his body never turned up, he knew that most likely, Heiji was dead. His wife had always still clung to the faint hope that he was still alive and out there somewhere, a hope that he knew that Kazuha had shared with her- but he had always known that such a thing would have truly been nothing short of a miracle.

But there was no mistaking what he had read in that report. A dark skinned young man with a rather heavy Osakan accent, dark hair and blue eyes. Even the age would have been just right. Even more than that was the woman who had come to meet him, dragging him away from the bridge before the officer who had responded to the call could arrive- a woman with dark brown hair and green eyes, a single purple charm hanging from around her neck.

Perhaps he ought to start believing in miracles.

But he doubted what brought this young man to his city was anything resembling a miracle. Nothing so pretty as that. From the way that Shinichi had avoided speaking with him in private, and had even excused himself early, leaving the rest of the evening's matters up to the Sera Masumi woman, he was almost certain that he was deliberately keeping something from him.

"Did you hear from the FBI?" Heizo asked, glancing over towards Ginshiro. "That piece of information that Kudo-han didn't share with us before."

"I did." Ginshiro said, a grave expression crossing his face. He knew all too well what his old friend was thinking, even though it was doubtlessly something that churned his gut to even consider. The timing really was too perfect- and if there was one thing that they had come to learn about Kudo Shinichi, it was that when it came to him, there was no such thing as a coincidence.

"We can't let Shizuka hear of any of this. Make sure that it doesn't get out to any of the officers that knew him, but especially not Otaki." Heizo told him, opening one eye to send Ginshiro a warning look. "Not until I know for sure what's going on here. If it really is what I fear... well, it would appear that I'll need to have a _very long_ discussion with Kudo-han the moment he manages to find some free time for me."

"I understand." Ginshiro told him, giving him a rather curt nod. If what he suspected was really true, then it was a rather grave matter indeed. "It would appear that I might need to have one as well, with my own daughter. She hasn't contacted me once since she returned to the city."

"I imagine that she wouldn't." Heizo said simply, closing his eyes. "If that fool of a son of mine is really alive, that's probably the only thing filling her head right now."

"She has been waiting for him to come home for five years now." Ginshiro replied simply. "And what of you? Do you plan on welcoming him back, if he's really still alive?"

"That depends on what he's been doing these past five years." Opening both of his eyes, for a moment, the stoic expression that he showed the world seemed to shift, the father making an appearance, instead of the feared police chief. "And what sort of person he is. I can only imagine the answer has changed, since I last saw him."

"At least he's still alive." Ginshiro said after a moment. "If that really is him."

"Yes." Closing his eyes again, Heizo back stiffened up once more, his usual stern expression once more taking it's place on his face. "I suppose there is that."

* * *

"Kuroba-han."

After a long period of no contact, Paikaru's voice suddenly cracked through the wireless transceiver. Placing a hand on his ear, noticing that something was off right away from just the tone of his voice, Kaito narrowed his eyes, quickly fixing on his current location. He had been following him practically all day now to no avail, but if his instincts were right, it would appear that the fish that they had been looking for had finally decided to take a bite out of the bait.

"Yer my eyes in the sky, so ya'd probably know the best. I've got someone trailin' behind me right now, don't I?" Judging from the sound of his voice, his words were spoken in a rather hushed whisper, his manner being that of someone who was trying not to draw any attention to his actions. "It would appear that we've netted us our fish."

"I'll make contact with Kudo-kun." Kaito noted, reaching for his cellphone even as his eyes remained fixed on the throng of people that had gathered in Paikaru's wake. Of their number, there was one woman that stood out to him- he had gotten the description from Shinichi, a description that had been passed down to him from her pupil. Just as Paikaru had expected, she had made no obvious moves to conceal her appearance.

And as the woman turned her head, her gaze turning his way, for a moment, Kaito felt a shiver run down his spine, ducking down underneath the rooftop, his heart pounding in his chest. He didn't scare easily, but there was something downright bone chilling in that woman's gaze, as she so easily managed to locate his position. Even though she had been smiling, there had been no joy in her eyes, something he could clearly tell even with the distance separating them.

So that was what a professional assassin was like. Scary, scary! He hadn't felt a surge of fear like _that_ since he and Aoko were plummeting to their deaths, as he desperately attempted to free her from the handcuffs that would have sealed both of their fates. Without a doubt, these guys were definitely on a whole different level than the shady organization that had bothered him so much during his heyday as Kaito Kid, and suddenly, he was grateful that he hadn't ever had to deal with them directly.

Well, expect for that one time, on that mystery train. What a disaster that had turned out to be. Hearing that the man who had held him at gunpoint was a double agent wasn't _nearly_ enough to cause him to change his mind about him. He seriously thought he was going to die back then!

"Yeah, yeah, that's definitely her." Remembering his actual job, Kaito peeked out from behind the cover of the rooftop, letting out a long sigh as he realized that she was no longer paying any attention to him. "I'll contact Kudo-kun. You know what to do from here, don't you? Lead her to the designated site, if you can. Hakuba and I will be there before long as backup."

"Well, I'll see what I can do." Paikaru merely replied. He could feel her gaze on his back, feeling as if it were almost boring holes in it, from the intensity of it alone. "She's a rather capricious woman, after all. Let Kudo-han know, an' probably Sera-han while yer at it. I probably wont' be able ta contact ya fer awhile."

"Be careful." Kaito advised him, watching as he turned the corner, moving out of sight. Watching as the brunette followed behind him, weaving her way through the crowded streets with an almost effortless grace, he didn't relax until she too, vanished behind the corner. "You heard all of that as well, didn't you, Hakuba?"

"I heard it. Loud and clear." Rising to his feet, Hakuba placed enough money to cover his bill on the table, and made his way out of the cafe. "I'm on my way there. I should be there in at least twenty minutes, depending on the traffic. Hold out until then by yourself somehow, Paikaru."

"Easy thing fer you ta say, ya've got the easy part." Paikaru couldn't help but grumble, before reaching up to his ear, switching off the wireless earpiece. He couldn't afford to have it distract him. Not sparing a glance behind him, not needing to, to know that she was there, behind him, he made his way through the streets of Osaka, his feet tracing steps that his body, at least, seemed to be aware that he might have once walked before. For a moment, he felt a strange sensation wash over him, hearing the faint echo of much smaller feet following behind him- but he didn't have time to dwell on that.

Shinichi had been the one to suggest this place, in spite of being less familiar with Osaka than others. When he had asked him to find some kind of abandoned building or warehouse where he wouldn't have to worry about getting other people involved, he claimed that this place was the first one that came to mind. As he glanced up at it himself, a vague sense of irritation rose up in him, a feeling so strong that it had been left behind, even after the memories that informed him of the reason for it had been lost.

It was fairly safe to say, then, that he'd probably been here once before. And Shinichi as well, considering that he had been the one to suggest. Honestly, that guy- even now, he was still trying to figure out schemes to help jog his memory. It didn't seem to really be working, but he couldn't really fault his efforts.

Turning on his heel, Paikaru waited for the one that he knew had been following him all this way. It was rather dark inside the abandoned warehouse, but he was accustomed to moving around in dark places. It wasn't a problem for him.

And it was one area where he held an advantage, however slight, over Merlot. Even though she was hardly a doddering old woman, and probably never would be, even if she managed to live to a ripe old age, it was true that she was getting on in years- and as a result of that, her eyesight had slowly begun to fade. Not to the point where she would need glasses, even for reading, but just enough so that her night vision was no longer what it used to be. He, on the other hand, was still in the prime of his youth, and with enough time for his eyes to adjust, could see just fine in the dark, even as evening drew closer, the sun beginning to consider setting for the night.

"What a lovely place for a showdown that you've found, Paikaru." Merlot noted, a placid smile on her face as she finally stepped out into the open. "At least, I'm assuming that's why you've lead me to such a place. But is it alright? You left your _friend_ following you back there behind."

"It's alright." Some part of him internally twitched, at the way he almost instinctively switched back to standard Japanese around her, even though he had been so freely using his natural accent up until just now. "They know where to find me if they get bored and decided that they want to join us. You've probably already realized that much yourself, so I don't see why you asked in the first place."

"Is there something wrong with wanting to make conversation?" Merlot asked, tilting her head slightly as she stepped into the old warehouse, glancing around her surroundings, checking for any traps. Of course, there weren't any- there had been no time to set anything up, and no point, really. Anything less than the most elaborate of traps would have quickly caught her eye. "We haven't seen each other for awhile now. Not since that night."

"It hasn't even been that long since then." Paikaru couldn't help but observe, quirking a brow. "What, don't tell me you're starting to get empty next syndrome? Don't make me laugh."

"Anyone would get a bit lonely when the child that they've been raising so suddenly decides to leave their side, and rebel against them." Merlot said simply, shaking her head. "But there's still a chance for you to come back to me, Paikaru. You understand by now, don't you? There's nothing that you seek lying with those people. They want someone that you can't give them."

"And like I said before, who was it that made me that way?" Paikaru asked, his eyes narrowing. No, this was no good- he couldn't let her rile him up. What he needed was focus and concentration, and not anger. It wouldn't do him any good now. "You shoulder the blame for all of that, and you alone."

"I suppose that's true." Merlot said simply. "Need I remind you though, that without me, you wouldn't even be alive right now?"

"Yeah, I know. And I'm grateful for that, don't get me wrong." Nodding his head, for a moment, Paikaru allowed a rather complicated mix of emotions surface on his face. Deep down, he fully understood just how much he resented and hated this woman- but even so, it wasn't like he could just erase the times in which she had been kind to him from his memory. He knew that too, was all part of her grand scheme to manipulate him, such moments nothing more than a calculated act on her part.

He owed her his life. But she had also taken it away from him, all the same.

"Still, if it hadn't been for you, I would have died as Hattori Heiji. I wouldn't have to live on, like some kind of undead zombie, becoming a monster in the process." Narrowing his eyes, he took a step forward, staring at her square in the face. "I'm not coming back with you, Merlot. This isn't just a rebellious phase. I'm through."

"And what do you intend to do after this, provided your plans somehow succeed?" Merlot asked, glancing up at him, letting out a slight sigh. She had been hoping that it wouldn't come to this- she hadn't been lying about the talent that had so caught her eye. She had always had an eye for it, a trait which made her just right to train others in the craft. After finding someone with such talent, such promise, it was such a waste to see it all go down the drain like this.

But if it couldn't be helped, it couldn't be helped. If there really was no changing his mind, then at the very least, she would be the one to end his life herself, rather than leave it up to the law. For the pupil that she had come to cherish above all the others, that was the least that she could do for him.

"Who knows." With a simple shrug of his shoulders, Paikaru flashed her something akin to a smile. "I guess that's something I'll just have to figure out on my own. Maybe I'll go back home."

"Oh? Do you think they'll have you there?" Merlot couldn't help but ask, her brows arching at his words.

"Who knows. I'll guess I'll find that out too."

* * *

 _Paikaru made contact_.

The message was short and concise, and really all that he needed. Taking only a moment to send back a short confirmation that he had ended received it, Shinichi once more tucked his cellphone back away. He had his own things to worry about at the moment, all but feeling the shadows shift around him.

Maybe he couldn't sense their aura in the same way that Ai could, though he could sometimes faintly make Paikaru's out. But he didn't really need such an ability to know that he wasn't alone here. It wasn't just the eyes of Ran, nor the eyes of Kazuha, the two of which who had been keeping tabs on him all of this time, forming something of a net around him. It would seem that he wasn't the only one who had noticed, not judging from the faint buzzing of his phone.

He wasn't worried though. Rather, he only felt strangely calm. After all this time, he finally had a chance to bring this nightmare to a close once and for all- and that was exactly what he intended to do.

Really, he hadn't changed one bit. His face still made his skin crawl.

The fact that he already had his gun out didn't surprise him at all. That aspect of him too, hadn't changed. He'd almost be a bit disappointed if it had been tempered by age- after all, it had only been five years since then. Hardly enough time for him to turn into some kind of old geezer, though given the color of his hair, he wouldn't blame anyone for making that mistake from behind.

"It's been five long years since we've run into each other last." Shinichi began, unable to help but find something akin to a smile surfacing on his face. "Last I recall, you ran away from Japan with your tail tucked in between your legs, Gin. I'm flattered that you would come all this way just to see me again."

"I merely came to finish what I should have done a long time, Kudo Shinichi." That cold tone of his voice hadn't changed either- and it too, still managed to make his skin crawl, even after all this time. "And to pick up the stray member of ours that you managed to lure away."

"He was never one of yours to begin with." Shinichi said, narrowing his eyes. "You must have been aware of that from the very start, Gin. We're merely taking him back. Too bad, though. I'm sure you were thinking of using Hattori to kill me. It would have been quite the plan too, if it had actually ended up working. Even I wouldn't have been able to do anything against it."

"But well, you always _did_ care for the more direct approach in the end, from what I recall." Shinichi said simply. "You would think that you, of all people, would know better than to trust dead people to stay dead."

Releasing the safety on his gun, Gin didn't even so much as flinch at his words. "I've developed a habit of using two bullets since then, not just one. Makes it more certain. I hear that the bullet Vodka tried to deliver back then was intended for you, Kudo Shinichi. Still, I would say that your luck has just about run out."

"Well," narrowing his eyes, Shinichi let out the breath that he had been holding. "...it's a good thing I don't believe in luck, then."


	17. Black

**AN** : Ah yes, here it is, the chapter that I've been deliberating over forever. I've been debating how to write this chapter for some time, and in the end, this is the way that I settled for- and I think it turned out quite nice, in my opinion! With this, we're drawing towards the end of the story- it'll probably wrap up around chapter twenty!

To everyone who has stuck with me this far, especially those of you who have supported me in the form of reviews (really, you don't know how motivating getting a really good review is), I thank you! Stick with me a little longer, as everything is wrapped up!

Until next time!

* * *

 **Phantasmal Black**

 **Chapter Seventeen**

 **Black**

* * *

"I don't suppose you would have any interest in telling me where Sherry is, before I drive a bullet into your skull."

"After all these years, you're _still_ chasing her?" Shinichi asked, almost letting out a laugh- the hint of which Gin did somewhat twitch at. "Aren't you too old to be holding grudges against someone half your age?"

"Not at all." Gin said simply, narrowing his eyes. The sound of his boots striking the pavement filled the otherwise empty air, keeping both his gaze and gun level on Shinichi as he advanced towards him. Near as he could tell, the young man was unarmed- but if there was one thing that he had come to learn well about him, it was that he shouldn't let his guard down around him.

Vodka had, and it had ended poorly for him. He wasn't going to make the same mistake.

Though he had scouted the area beforehand, there was doubtlessly someone else around here that was watching them. He couldn't quite tell from where, but at the very least, he could sense their presence. That impressive bloodlust that they had given off upon seeing him was evidence enough of that.

"I see." Shinichi said simply. "In that case, I must refuse. Now, just like then, Sherry's location is the one thing that I'll never give you."

"So be it. Even if you don't tell me, it's only a matter of time before I smoke her out." Coming to a halt, Gin stared down the one who had caused him so much trouble, the one who should have died all those years ago. Poisoning him had been the mistake. Even with police officers still loitering around, it would have been a wiser choice to simply shoot him, right then and there.

If he had, things would have never turned out this way. But once he was gone, then he could truly focus his efforts into restoring that what once was, back to how it had been before the most unexpected of enemies burned it to the ground. With or without the errant extra member that they had picked up in the Organization's twilight hours.

It would have been an interesting plan, had it worked. He would have gone to watch it himself- Vermouth's Silver Bullet drawing his last breath, his life stolen from him by the last person he would have ever expected. For a time, he had been convinced it would work- but once word of Paikaru's hesitation had spread to him, he had already began to doubt that they had truly driven out that what once was.

When Gin pulled the trigger, it felt as if the entire world was holding it's breath.

Ran, he knew, could do it. As he was now, it was probably a feat that Heiji could manage as well.

In theory, it was something that he understood, but theory was one thing- he'd never actually had to do something like this himself. Still, after that time, he had vowed that he would never get himself into a situation in which someone would have to throw away their own life in exchange for his- and to that end, he had put some effort in behind it.

It nicked the underside of his ear, causing blood to trickle down his neck, to cling to his hair. But that was as far as it got. It was the second bullet, fired right after the first, that proved to be more of the problem. If he hadn't decided to go down, he probably wouldn't have avoided it, only managing to do so by a hair's breadth, his heart pounding all the while.

Ran could probably do it without so much as flinching. Once she took on a challenge, she refused to show any weakness- that was the sort of person she was. But he was no Mouri Ran, only just Kudo Shinichi- and this was about the best he could manage, under these circumstances.

Thankfully, they were all that he would have to manage.

The feet that hit the pavement were the second thing that he sensed- right after the surging bloodlust, one that Shinichi found himself very grateful wasn't directed at him. For a moment, he found himself wondering if it would have been enough to blow any of _their_ auras right of the water- and mentally decided it probably was.

There was a moment of delay as Gin switched targets, going from the unarmed man at his feet, to the unarmed woman charging towards him. Mouri Ran, of course, needed no weapon- for that was what she was, when she cared to be one. A weapon that could be as strong as steel, not one designed to kill, but one designed to protect.

And perhaps to earn herself a little payback for all the pain that she had been put through. Not just her _own_ pain either- but the pain of her friends and loved ones as well, all those who had suffered because of _them_. With that thought in her mind, it was no small wonder that just as he thought, she didn't even flinch as she darted to the side just in time to avoid a bullet, closing the gap between the two of them in a way that nearly reminded Shinichi of a predator chasing down it's prey.

The prey, of course, displayed no such emotion akin to fear on his face- even in a situation like this, he likely didn't regard himself as such. That was to be expected- after being at the top of the food chain for so long, he never would have thought that there could have been anything to topple him. Even as the gun was knocked from his hand, Gin barely flinched, instead creating some distance between the two of them, and reaching for another gun that he had hidden away.

Briefly, Shinichi found himself wondering how many of those things he had on him. Paikaru, he knew, had been carrying quite a number of them- though compared to the number of knives he'd had on his person when they'd taken him in, it was next to nothing. Well, he couldn't say that he hadn't planned for this much- rather, it was actually _part_ of his plan that he had more than one.

"I see. So you brought your fiancee." Gin remarked, a cool smirk crossing his face, even as the heat of Ran's anger- six years worth of it- washed over him. "That saves me the time of having to track her down myself."

"You're the one who should be afraid in this situation, Gin." Shinichi told him, getting to his feet, placing a hand over where the bullet had nicked his ear. It had already almost stopped bleeding- good. It would doubtless leave a scar, but one or two more scars was nothing. "It's two against one."

Well, it was actually _three_ against one, but for the moment, hiding an extra trump card was part of the plan. Ideally, it wouldn't even be necessary for her to come out.

"You're both unarmed." Gin noted. Even though he said that, Shinichi couldn't help but note that he had drawn the gun with his other hand, in spite of it not being his dominant one. After taking Ran's kick, he probably couldn't use it the way that he wanted to. Even in the dark, he could tell that at least one of the fingers was bent somewhat out of shape. "I would have expected more from you, Kudo Shinichi."

"I don't need to be armed to take one someone like _you_." Ran snapped, her voice all but commanding attention. Shinichi might be the one that he bore a grudge against, but she was here to protect him- as long as she was around, he wouldn't so much as lay a hand on him. "We might not have met before this, but I've got quite a bit that I need to pay back to you. I intend to do it in full today."

"Oh? Some impressive words you have there." Gin noted, a trace of amusement surfacing on his face. "But there was a situation like this before, wasn't there? But I doubt you'll get off as lucky as that boy did this time."

"If it's luck, I can guarantee that I'll be just fine." Ran declared firmly. "Hattori-kun's luck was always bad. My luck, however," the small step forward that she took was the only warning that she got before she was moving again- quick on her feet, darting through the dark as if she had been born to do so, "...is number one!"

The bullet that was fired grazed her shoulder- but she pushed past it, instead focusing her attention on what she needed to do. Namely, getting the second gun from his hand, and preventing him from focusing on what it was that Shinichi was currently doing. The cry that she let out was as much to get her blood pumping, as it was to draw his attention towards her, and solely her, as she once more knocked the gun out of his hand.

After she had become aware of the danger that Shinichi had been all that time, she had focused her attention on improving her karate even more. The first thing that she had learned was how to counter a gun, how to remove it from the hands of any attackers that she might wind up against. At one point, she had even been scouted by the Olympic committee for her skills- but in the end, she had turned them down.

Maybe if she hadn't, Heiji might have seen her face in the papers, and something in his memories might have been triggered. Maybe it wouldn't. She would never know.

The faint click that she made out behind her head was not the gun of an unseen accomplice, and thus invoked no fear from her. Even should it have been, she had already sealed such things away for today. Today, for everyone's sake, she would bring this long nightmare to an end.

"Not unarmed anymore, am I?" Shinichi asked, his eyes narrowing. As Ran took a step back, she carefully watched Gin's movement, monitoring him for any tell tale twitches. He wasn't a martial artist, so no matter how used he was to killing people, he was bound to give something away.

"I don't suppose you'll come with us peacefully to the police station, Gin." Since he already knew the answer, it wasn't really a question. "They're already on their way."

It was a bluff, but he didn't need to know that. He'd had no time to call them, and they currently had their hands full as it was already, even if Kazuha managed to get through to them. It didn't matter- if they couldn't get to them, then Shinichi would merely have to bring Gin to them. He wasn't invulnerable, a person without any weakness- although it had often seemed that way back then.

The Organization, with it's grand shadow, had been more dangerous than anything that he had ever faced, and likely ever would face again. But what made them so dangerous was the fact that it existed as a faceless shadow, it's leader hidden, it's motives unknown. They could be everywhere, and anyone, and because of that, he'd gotten used to glancing over his shoulder, to second guessing everyone that he met.

When the curtain finally fell, somehow the remains that had been left behind weren't as frightening in comparison. Even if one of them was the specter that had never stopped haunting his nightmares- without the reach and pull of the original Organization behind him, perhaps even Gin was nothing more than a nearly middle-aged man who refused to change his ways, and clung to what was no longer there.

In a way, it was almost kind of pitiful.

He would never feel anything close to pity for him, though. He'd done far too much, without anything resembling remorse or regret. No matter how he had ended up on this path, it wouldn't change anything. He was a true monster, and nothing more than that. Whatever was coming to him after this, without a doubt, he deserved it.

"You won't fire." Gin observed cooly. "I've seen the way you do things, Kudo Shinichi. You value life too much."

There was mockery in his words- as if holding life as something important was something laughable. To Gin, it doubtlessly was- all the more so when it was the life of one's enemy. He didn't care what he thought, though. This was his way of doing things, and nothing would change that. It was a lesson that he had to learn the hard way for himself, one that he would give to anyone willing to listen.

It was a lesson that he had to give to Heiji, once before. A lesson that had disappeared, somewhere alongside his memories... or perhaps not. A monster had been created, from the empty shell with no memories, but though it was a monster, it couldn't be called a true one. A monster for whom there was still hope, to one day become a proper human again.

"I won't fire to kill. But that doesn't mean that I won't do it all." Shinichi said simply, taking a step forward, keeping the gun trained on Gin. Out of the corner of his eye, he watched as the other discarded gun was picked up by someone else- and he could only hold his breath as she did so. Not just because he didn't want to make Gin aware of her presence, were he not already- but because he couldn't say with one hundred percent certainty that she _wouldn't_.

It would be very hard to blame her, in truth.

"So it comes down to this." Gin observed simply. His gaze flickered behind him only briefly, enough for Shinichi to know that he was indeed aware there was a third person with them. "But I'm sure you'll regret it though. Without a doubt, I'll come back to haunt you."

"I won't regret it." Shinichi told him. He was trying to rile him up, trying to get him to throw away his own morals- even in this situation. If he managed to do that, then in a sense, he still would have won- but he wasn't going to give him the joy of that. "Just like your partner, I'll make sure you're sent somewhere that you'll never escape from, Gin."

It struck the sore spot that Shinichi had expected it would, leaving him to take a quick pair of steps back. Since he'd gone for a knife, it was obvious that he had no more guns with him- but if he managed to take back the one that had been taken from him, it wouldn't matter.

But if there was one thing that he had underestimated, it was the skill of the one that he had likely dismissed as just being the fiancee of the man he bore deep resentment for. He'd always felt that it might be the case, but watching Ran land a punch on Gin, in the dead center of his face, was perhaps one of the most emotionally satisfying moments he had ever borne witness to.

To other people, perhaps ending a six year long nightmare with a single punch might have been a bit anticlimactic- but for Shinichi, he probably couldn't think of any other way he'd rather have it end. Letting out a long breath and holstering the stolen gun, he pulled out the handcuffs that he had borrowed from the police ahead of time, confirming that Gin had been knocked well and truly out, before cuffing his hands behind his back.

"Contact Jodie-san." Glancing in Ran's direction, Shinichi couldn't help but beam at her. "Let her know that we need a car to come pick up an old friend."

"I got it." Ran said, nodding her head as she pulled out her cellphone. "What about Hattori-kun, though?"

"I heard that they had made contact, but I haven't heard anything from them since." Shinichi told her, shaking his head. He couldn't decide if that was a good or a bad thing. They had managed to wrap things up here, but he couldn't help but worry about how things were going over there.

"Should I send word to Hakuba-kun, just in case?" Ran asked, a slight frown crossing her face as her eyes darted around the area. She could have sworn... "By the way, Shinichi, have you seen Kazuha?"

"Kazuha?" Shinichi blinked. "Wasn't she just...?" Trailing off, he looked around the area himself, quickly confirming that Kazuha was nowhere to be found. And so too, did he notice that there was something else that should have been there that was now missing- the second that Gin had brought with him.

Kazuha had picked it up, and then...

Oi, oi. It couldn't be that she...?

* * *

There was no opening move that he could make that she wouldn't predict. At the same time, there was no way that he was going to allow the advantage that making the first move would give him- the one thing he couldn't allow, was to allow the flow of the battle to be determined by Merlot. If he did that, the fight was almost as good as lost.

There might have been mercy in their last fight, but there would be none of that this time. He'd made clear his resolve to her- and because of that, her intentions had changed. To call it a fight was quite the stretch- right now, her goal was to eliminate him. If he failed here, it wouldn't just end with him- everyone else around him would probably be wiped out as well, one by one. Anyone who might have heard anything about her would be erased from the world.

Until there were none left, and she could become a shadow again.

As he expected, no matter how quickly he had drawn his gun, she had been able to predict it. It wasn't so much that she had dodged a bullet, but rather, that she had anticipated where he would fire, and had already moved ahead of time to avoid it. That was a pro for you. Not wanting to waste his bullets, Paikaru quickly tucked his gun back away where he had hidden for it, instead reaching for his concealed knife.

In this area, even if they fired a gun, nobody would come. It was part of the reason why they had picked it- an out of the way location that wasn't likely to create any extra victims. He recalled asking Shinichi about how he knew about a place like this in Osaka, when he didn't spend much time here, and thus didn't seem to have any reason to. In response, he'd only gotten a look that told him without words that this was a question that he held the answer to himself.

But now wasn't the time to be troubled by his memories. If he didn't focus on the fight, it would be over in an instant.

But if he had to be honest, fighting someone while trying not to kill them was difficult. He had already been expecting that much- that sort of thing had been bred into him by now, after all, but he had clearly underestimated just how difficult it was. He couldn't fight as he wanted, knowing that he had his promise to keep.

Both the one he had made to Hakuba, and the one he had made to himself. No matter what, he had to bring Merlot back, alive. If he couldn't manage that, then he knew full well, that even if he were to regain his memories, what had been broken in him would never be able to be fixed.

And Merlot knew it, too. That was the worst part.

Of course she knew. She was the one who had taught him everything, had trained him to be this way. Everything that he was now, it was because of her. It was to be expected that she could read that much from him- that he wasn't fighting to kill, but rather, only had disabling her and capturing her in his mind right now. And because she knew, she was taunting him- not with words, but rather, with her actions.

Luring him, trying to entrap him, hoping to provoke him. She hadn't completely given up on her ambitions, or so it seemed. Though he hadn't said it in so many words, she could already tell- that he was set on proving himself to her. To proving that he wasn't just the whole of what she had made of him, to prove to her that there was still something left within him of the person he once was.

She knew that, and that's why she knew that if he killed her, in the end, she would still win. It would be a hollow victory that would cost her her life, but a victory nevertheless. With it, she would steal away from him any chance of ever leaving the path that he was on, without even so much as having to lift a finger.

That said, she had no intentions of letting him off easy, either. Curling up and dying wasn't in her nature, after all. If she happened to end up killing him, then so be it- she still wasn't so old that she couldn't find another pupil to train from scratch. Not one that would compare to him, who she had tricked and manipulated, going to lengths to create what she doubtlessly regarded as a glittering jewel.

Gritting his teeth, Paikaru quickly put some distance between the two of them, jumping backwards. His feet making a loud sound as they struck the metal of the stairs behind him, he reached a hand up, placing it over where he had been scratched by her knife. It wasn't deep, but even a little scratch could lead to precious energy being sapped away from him.

"What's wrong?" Merlot asked, taking a step forward. "Your fighting's sloppier than usual, Paikaru. You've been letting those friends of yours influence you, haven't you? You shouldn't do a thing like that." Shaking her head, she let out a long sigh, for all the world sounding like a mother lecturing her wayward son. "They're no good, you know. Filling your head with such unnecessary thoughts."

"They're not unnecessary. If they've taught me anything, it's things I already should have known. Common sense, you could say." Drawing in and letting out a long breath, Paikaru steadied himself once more. She was trying to rile him up- but he wouldn't let her. "And what about you? Don't tell me you're short on breath already, old lady."

"No, not at all." Merlot said simply. "I thought I would give you one more chance, Paikaru, before I truly decide to get serious. But that haphazard fighting style... as you are now, you'll never make it as a proper assassin if you keep going like that. It's almost as if you're trying _not_ to kill me."

Narrowing his eyes, as if by instinct, Paikaru's free hand went behind his back, hovering over where his gun was hidden. Fingers twitching as he stopped himself from drawing it, he fought against the ingrained urge. If he drew it now, he knew that he wouldn't be able to stop himself from going for a fatal shot- and he wasn't going to take the chance that it would hit.

"You're really _not_ , are you?" Merlot asked, for a moment, her expression shifting out of it's smiling mask. Just as quickly as it had gone, it returned, as she let out a faint laugh. "I see. They really have put some ridiculous ideas into your head. I suppose I'm the one to blame, though. I never should have allowed you to return to Japan."

"Even if you didn't, I would have remembered someday." Paikaru told her, doing his best to mask his lack of confidence in those words. "I already realized that you were lying to me a long time ago, Merlot."

"Even so, you didn't try and do anything about it." Merlot said simply, her smile growing as she watched him flinch at her words. "You should understand by now, right? That what I said before is true- that Hattori Heiji is dead, and he died by your hand. He won't ever come back."

"You say that like you don't share responsibility for it." There was no point in denying it- it was true enough, after all. Were it not for him, then Hattori Heiji would still be here. Because he was here, he would never be able to return, not as he once was. There was no reason to dispute that much. "Anyways, I'm done talking to you, Merlot. Let's bring this to an end already."

The fact that he would be able to read her next move was probably something that she had already expected. Though it was brief, the mixture of resignation and disappointment that were reflected in her eyes were enough to tell Paikaru that she had accepted the fact that her words could not reach him anymore- that her manipulation of him had reached it's limit.

It was a pity, but there was only one thing left to do.

The first shot was a warning shot. The ones that came next wouldn't be so kind. Before that, he needed to find cover. As the first bullet zipped past his cheek, far too close for comfort, Paikaru bit back the urge to draw his own gun, not having the confidence he could use it again without trying to kill her. He'd fired disabling shots before, but they had always been quickly followed up killing shots. If he drew it again, it would be as a last resort.

He never could have imagined that trying not to kill someone would be this difficult. For being able to fight against difficult opponents without feeling the urge to do so, Hattori Heiji earned newfound respect from him.

"Running away?" Merlot's voice carried through the warehouse. "That's not like you, Paikaru."

Biting back a quip that maybe she didn't know him as well as she thought she did, Paikaru carefully assessed his options. She'd already fired off three rounds, which meant that she had nine bullets left, judging from the model of the handgun that she was using. Ordinarily, the optimal time to strike back was when she was reloading- but she already knew that full well.

Still, he couldn't help but find himself really not wanting to lose. There was something waiting for him on the other side of this, and that was something that he wanted to obtain more than anything. For a long time, he had thought it had been freedom that he was after... but as it turned out, he was wrong about that as well.

What he really wanted was not freedom- but rather, something even more simple than that.

Drawing in a breath, Paikaru made out the sound of Merlot's feet striking the metal of the staircase. Narrowing his eyes, he sprung up from where he had paused to get his bearings, an action which was quickly followed by another gunshot. Her night vision wasn't as good as his was, so if he could lure her into an even darker part of the warehouse, he would gain an advantage.

There were two other advantages that he had over her as well- his agility, and his powers of observation. Even as he ran forward, he found himself scanning the warehouse around him, looking for anything that he could use to his advantage. With a quick grin as he spotted something interesting, he shifted the direction that he was heading in, planting a booted foot on the railing of the walkway, just narrowly avoiding another bullet.

Whatever the rope that he had grabbed onto as he leapt forward from the railing had been tied there for in the first place, he didn't much care- all that mattered was how he could use it now. With that, he was on the other side of the warehouse in a flash, landing on the walkway some distance away from Merlot.

Drawing his gun as he landed, Paikaru fired off a shot. Clicking his teeth as he heard the clang of metal against metal, knowing already that he had missed, he quickly began moving again. There was a staircase right besides him, which he quickly darted up, carefully tracking Merlot's position all the while.

There was a expression of frustration on her face that he could barely make out in the dark, and he had to admit, it was a pretty good look for her. She must have been realizing now that their current location was more to his own advantage than hers, and he was going to milk it for everything that it was worth.

Holstering his gun again, and once more drawing his knife, Paikaru made another leap off from the side of the railing, this time jumping downwards. For a brief moment, something about that tugged faintly at some corner of his memory, but he couldn't afford to let such a thing distract him now. Either way, he'd brought himself right behind Merlot, with just enough time before she reacted to plant his knife deeply within her lower back.

It had taken everything in him not to go for a killing blow.

Yanking the knife out, Paikaru quickly put some distance between the two of them, as Merlot pivoted on her heel, firing once more at him, the bullet just barely nicking his right shoulder. Six shots. She had six bullets left.

"You could have killed me then." Merlot narrowed her eyes, placing a hand over her knife wound. He had deliberately picked a place that wouldn't be fatal, but if she let it continue to bleed like this, it wouldn't be long before it started to cause her trouble. For the moment, she fixed her gun on her once pupil, freezing him in place with it. "You really have gotten soft."

"Maybe so." Paikaru freely admitted, allowing an edge of a grin to creep on his face. "Can't say that I don't like it, though. Either way, even someone like you is going to have trouble moving around with a wound like that. Why don't you just give up, Merlot? Cause I'm not gonna."

"I suppose in that way, the two of us are alike." Merlot said simply, a faint smile creeping onto her face. "I'm not fond of giving up either, Paikaru. You should know that much."

"Yeah. I know you _real well_ , Merlot, though I wished I didn't." Paikaru simply remarked, already mentally running through his options. As she took a step forward, he took a slight step back, gauging how much distance he had before he ran out of walkway. Whatever he did, he had to do it fast.

He had gained an advantage, but if he managed to let himself get shot seriously, he'd just as quickly lose it. Drawing in his breath just as Merlot released the safety on her gun, Paikaru moved, darting to the right just as she fired. The bullet grazed his back, causing him to bite down on his tongue to keep himself from making any sound, but he continued, using the handrail to flip down to the ground floor from the walkway.

Seven shots, five bullets left. As she fired once more as he landed, something which he rolled out of the way to avoid, he reduced the count to four. Pulling out his own handgun, he fired it up towards her, adjusting the angle of the gun at the last second to avoid the head shot he had instinctively trained himself to make.

Apparently with enough fire in her left to follow him down the same way he had come, Merlot jumped over the side of the handrail. He couldn't deny that he found some enjoyment of the way that she flinched as she landed, the stab wound that she had taken to her back protesting such sudden movement. Still, he couldn't afford to let her bleed out from it either, and although he'd picked a spot from which that would be harder to do, it wasn't impossible.

Kudo wanted her alive. In truth, Paikaru very much wanted to kill her- but he wouldn't.

As Merlot fired another bullet at him, Paikaru knocked the count down to three. When she ran out again, he would take the chance to counterattack. With that wound in her back, her reaction time would be slowed. With that in mind, he just had to avoid her until she ran out.

Two. One.

With the last bullet fired, Paikaru felt a grin pull at his lips. Watching as Merlot reached for her reload, he decided to take this chance, switching once more from his handgun to his knife, closing the distance between them quickly, carefully watching her movements to determine what kind of counterattack she would make of her own.

It was that, in the end, that probably saved him. If he had reacted any later, the gunshot that she had fired would have been surely fatal- but it was in a bad enough location as it was, he thought, as he gritted his teeth, placing a hand just above his heart, trying to stem the blood flow. Dimly, he was aware that he had dropped his gun when he had been shot, but he couldn't afford to take his eyes off of her for long enough to find where it was.

If he didn't finish this soon, the one for whom it would be over was him.

"I thought I taught you better than that, Paikaru." Merlot's voice carried an amused tone to it as she took a step forward. "You miscounted."

"Only by one. S'not that bad." Paikaru retorted, somehow finding it in him to grin, in spite of the fact that his vision was starting to get a bit blurry. Crap, that was bad. Narrowing his eyes so as to focus his vision, he fought to draw in breath. There was no way he was going to die here, not after he had come this far.

"No." As Merlot lifted her gun, the dull steel managed to gleam even within the darkness of the warehouse. "By two."

Dimly, in the back of his mind, Paikaru could only think that something like this had definitely happened before. For the life of him though, he couldn't recall when and where it had been- so it must have been before he lost his memories. As the sound of the safety of Merlot's gun being released filled his ears, the only thing he found that he could think about was the fact that he was supposed to have his life flash before his eyes in a moment like this.

Even now, his memories managed to allude him.

" _Heiji!_ "

It took him a moment to register the fact that the gun that had been fired wasn't the one that Merlot had been holding, and that a bullet hadn't been driven through his skull. But he knew, as if by instinct, to whom that voice belonged to- that called out the name that he strangely didn't mind hearing directed towards him when she was the one saying it. It was a moment, and only a moment, before other instincts took over.

As Merlot staggered backwards, clutching the shoulder that had been shot, Paikaru quickly located his own gun. Ignoring his own wound for the moment, and focusing his blurred vision as much as he could, he fried off another round, piercing the same shoulder Kazuha had shot just moments ago- the bullet piercing the hand that had been placed over it as well.

Faintly, he could make out the sound of voices behind him, but he couldn't quite make out what it was that they were saying. Lunging towards Merlot, he used this chance to slam his knee into her gut, toppling her to the ground. Placing one foot over her good hand, the one that still held her gun, he trained his own on her, gaze narrowing as he stared down the woman that had stolen everything from him.

It would be so easy, in this situation, to kill her. He had every reason to do so, and indeed, nearly every fiber of his being was urging him to do just that, to drive a bullet through her skull, and put an end to this nightmare forever. The only reason that he could find not to was because of something that for a moment, briefly almost seemed foolish to him, as determined as he had been to hold to it earlier.

There was no need to keep a promise to a dead man, one who existed as nothing more than a figment of his subconscious.

It must have shown in his eyes, because even in this situation, Merlot couldn't stop smiling. "You're not going to kill me?" There was no disappointment in her tone, only amusement. She, at least, had doubtlessly already come to the conclusion that he would pull the trigger, and in doing so, cross the point of no return.

"Come now Paikaru, I taught you better than this." Merlot said simply, closing her eyes, her smirk not fading, even as the shadow of death fell over her face. "You have to finish your target off, otherwise they'll only come back to trouble you later. You might have had an unexpected bit of help, but there's no doubt that you still managed to win this match."

Gritting his teeth, Paikaru felt his fingers drift towards the safety of his gun. Killing a person was the easiest thing in the world for him, had become second nature for him. What point was there in fighting back against it, especially when the one in front of him didn't deserve to live?

But even so...

Even so, he could hear her voice, calling his name. His _real_ name, not the codename that he'd been given in place of it, these past five years.

As he thought, in the end, the one that he needed to prove himself most too, more than anyone else, was himself. To reject everything that had been forced into him, to reject the brainwashing that he'd endured... it was something that would take an enormous amount of strength.

But he could do it. Not just for himself- but also for her.

"Listen up, ya old hag, cause I'm only gonna say this once!" His voice probably came out louder than he intended it to be, for he could faintly make out the sound of the voices around him being thrown into silence. Faintly, he realized that he had slipped back into his natural accent, the first time since he had begun exchanging words with Merlot. "I've been tellin' ya this fer awhile now, but it seems like there's somethin' wrong with yer ears, so I'm just gonna say it once more!"

He would be lying if he tried to claim that he wasn't in pain, that he wasn't finding it a bit hard to breathe right now. But even so, as his gun clattered to the floor, thrown some distance away from them, the only expression he could make was that of a broad grin, one that felt deeply familiar on his lips.

"I'm not Paikaru."

It didn't feel like the truth, not yet.

Even so.

"I'm _Hattori Heiji_."


	18. Aftermath

**AN** : Welp, after some delay, the next chapter is finished! We're heading towards the end of this story, folks, so for those of you who have stuck with me thus far, I thank you- especially those of you who have left reviews along the way! I'll be sad to see this story go, but everything has it's time, and nothing can last forever.

Expect for, apparently, the actual Detective Conan manga.

* * *

 **Phantasmal Black**

 **Chapter Eighteen**

 **Aftermath**

* * *

 _"Take care of yerself, Kudo."_

Jolting awake in an instant, only dimly left wondering when he had dozed off, Shinichi found his gaze darting around the room, trying to find the source of the voice that still lingered in his mind. It took him a moment longer to realize that it was neither here nor there- but rather, the voice, with the distant sound of crashing waves accompanying it, was nothing more than a figment of the past, a vague, dream-like memory.

Of words that he never should have known.

He'd never been able to hear them, in the end- what he had once thought were Heiji's last words. They had been drowned out by the sound of the crashing waves that rocked the boat, the same waves that had spelled disaster for him. Though he had spent many an hour trying to puzzle out what they might have been, he had never been able to figure it out. It had hung over him for the longest, like a cloud of guilt.

Not only had he cost his friend his life, but he hadn't even had the decency to hear the very last thing he'd told him. What kind of friend had he been?

But with everything that had been going on recently, he had almost forgotten about them. Now that they were no longer his last words, not really, he found himself less upset for having been unable to hear them back then. In fact, this was probably the first time he found himself thinking about them since he had first met Paikaru, what nearly felt like a lifetime ago now.

It almost felt like a bad omen.

For a moment, he felt something clench within his chest, a bolt of worry shooting through him over the fact that they had returned to him now, of all times. It only lasted a moment, however- for all the needed to know that his worst fears hadn't yet come true was the steady beeping sound of the heart monitor that was keeping track of Paikaru's pulse.

No, not Paikaru. That was wrong.

He'd said so himself, after all. Though he hadn't been there to hear them himself, Kazuha had shared with them the words that he had spoken there. The declaration, meant of Merlot, but loud enough for anyone else to hear, that he _wasn't_ Paikaru.

He was _Hattori Heiji_.

What that might mean, he didn't yet know. Perhaps unsurprisingly, considering that he had been shot several times, once very seriously, he'd passed out not long after he had said them. They had gotten him to the hospital in the nick of time, really- any longer, and perhaps he really would have died. While it was a risk having him here, it was a gamble that they couldn't afford not to take- his life hung in the balance, after all.

Thankfully, the doctors had claimed that his surgery had been successful, and that his life was unlikely to be in any danger. He'd escaped death by gunshot once, and it would seem that even he wasn't so unlucky that he couldn't manage the same feat again. He had been sleeping ever since then- around half a day now, if what Shinichi's phone was telling him was correct.

Half a day though, huh... He wouldn't be able to avoid the FBI and the police for much longer. For the moment, Ran had told them that he was being treated for his own wounds, in order to give him a bit of space, but that could only last for so long. Besides that, after having chased after the Organization for so long, there was no way that he could leave the arrest of it's last two members entirely up to Hakuba.

As for the arrest of it's third... no matter what kind of deal he tried to make, in the end, it would be impossible to avoid. He had to pay for his crimes, in the end. There was no way around it, nor should there be. Whatever that entailed... at the very least, he would fight to ensure that what had happened to Merlot's other pupils wouldn't happen to him.

He had narrowly avoided death twice now- so suffice to say, Shinichi wasn't about to hand him over to it a third time. The third time might be the charm, but this was no charm anyone wanted.

Hopefully before that, at the very least, he'd be able to enjoy at least the faintest taste of what he had always wanted- of freedom. He could only hope that wouldn't make the inevitable loss of it all the harder to bear.

They'd asked for a private room, for the time being, and the doctors had complied without much of a fuss. Shinichi's own face was well known across Japan, after all- but if any of them recognized the patient that they had treated as the supposedly dead Hattori Heiji, none of them said anything. It wasn't supposed to be this way- it was supposed to be the two of them, the east and the west, just like it always had been, right from the start.

Sometimes reality failed to live up to one's expectations, and in the cruelest ways at that. They could only make do with what they were given.

Nevertheless, as he twitched back the privacy curtain that hung around the hospital bed, Shinichi could only find himself smiling. It was a soft, gentle expression- though not so much as the one that currently graced Kazuha's face. She had been by his side all this time, never once letting go of his hand- not even after she had fallen asleep.

It was a peaceful scene, and one that he would hate to disturb. After everything that they had been through, they more than deserved this moment of peace.

Letting go of the curtain, Shinichi stepped back, turning on his heel. It was best if he left the two of them to each other, and return to what he had been trying to avoid all this time. He didn't know how much time they would have left together- because whatever was waiting for Heiji after this wasn't freedom. It might very well be that he would be shipped off to another country to face trail there- and indeed, might be imprisoned there as well.

Hattori Heiji was his best friend, that much was true- but in the end, he was Kazuha's childhood friend, first and foremost. Whatever little time he had left, it should be spent with her- it was only right.

He had stolen that away himself, in the end. Even if that hadn't been his intention, that didn't change the results. If he could give even a little bit of that time back, then he would do so.

"Now then," Keeping his voice at a whisper, so as to not waken the slumbering pair, Shinichi made for the door. "...let's see what I can do about this."

* * *

Ugh, not good.

Rubbing at her face a little, Kazuha let out a frustrated sigh, grateful that she had no plans to meet anyone that she wasn't already close to for the time being. The crumpled sheet that she had dozed off on had left an imprint on her face, and although she knew it would fade shortly, nevertheless, she couldn't help but be a little embarrassed by it. She couldn't even recall when it was that she had dozed off- only that she must have at some point.

Heiji still hadn't woken up, which worried her somewhat. The doctors had reassured her that it was normal for a patient to sleep for quite some time after experiencing a traumatic injury like that, which was the only thing preventing her from sinking into that worry. Still, if she had to be honest, she couldn't claim that she didn't find the sight of his sleeping face to be peaceful.

For a moment, as she gazed upon it, everything in the world nearly felt right again.

It only lasted a short while, before she found her gaze drifting down towards his left arm, a slight shudder of reality running down her spine as her eyes traced the scars that split his skin. She imagined that with time, she would grow used to the painful sight, but more than anything, it was an all too keen reminder of not only what he had been made to go through, but of what had been stolen from him.

"Ah, you woke up."

At the sound of Ran's voice, Kazuha turned her head, giving her friend a small smile. She hadn't even heard her come in, but then again, she had been so fixed on her own thoughts that she doubted she would have noticed. Someone had to have placed the blanket on her, the one that she had found sliding off her shoulders as she woke up.

"Yeah, just a bit ago." Kazuha told her, rubbing at the imprint of the sheet again, though she knew it wouldn't help any. "Where's Shinichi?"

"Work." Ran told her. "He finally decided it was about time to face up to it."

"I see." Her gaze briefly dropping from Ran's face, it found it's way once more towards Heiji's sleeping face. "I suppose it's going to be decided today, then."

"Well, they might wait until Hattori-kun wakes up to make any final decisions." Though she tired to keep her tone light, it wasn't hard to guess what Kazuha was worrying about. "Without him, we probably wouldn't have been able to capture Merlot, so I'm sure that will work in his favor."

"Yeah, I know." Kazuha said, nodding her head. "That doesn't make it any more fair."

"I suppose it doesn't." Ran admitted, pulling up a chair, taking a seat next to her. "I wish it wasn't this way either, but we can only do our best at this point. I think Hattori-kun would agree, that he shouldn't go free, after, well..."

"...everythin' he's done, ya mean?" Kazuha asked, a trace of a smile on her face, one cast in sorrow, as she turned her gaze back towards Ran. "Ya don't have ta beat around the bush with me, Ran. I was chasin' after him all this time, so I know. I know exactly what he's been made ta do, so much so that I wish I didn't."

"I just wish I'd noticed somethin' sooner." Kazuha said, her fists clenching the fabric of her skirt. "Ta think that I didn't notice that the one I was chasin' after was my own childhood friend all this time... if I had, maybe things would be better than they are now."

"It's not your fault, Kazuha." Ran was quick to reassure her, placing a hand on the other woman's shoulder. "We couldn't have known, none of us. Nobody could have expected this outcome. We thought... well, we thought that Hattori-kun was dead, most of us."

"But I _didn't_." Kazuha blurted out, frustration etching itself into her features. She had been holding this all within her heart, ever since they had first met each other again at the park, keeping it under lock and key. Now that everything was over, there was barely anything that she could do to keep it all from flowing out, all at once.

"All this time, I _always_ thought that Heiji was alive." Kazuha told her. "I always believed that, from the very bottom of my heart. An' yet, even though I was chasin' his shadow all this time, fer some reason, I never saw it. No," shaking her head, Kazuha's grip on the fabric of her skirt grew tighter as she corrected herself, "...I just didn't want ta see it."

"Ever since I Hakuba-kun got that description of him, it had always been hauntin' my thoughts, an' yet I didn't say anythin'. I didn't want ta face the chance that... that they could be the same." Swallowing, Kazuha forced her gaze downwards, for the moment, unable to face the slumbering form of her childhood friend. "I didn't want such a thing ta be true."

"I don't think anyone can blame you for that, Kazuha." Keeping her voice as soothing as she could manage, Ran drew herself closer. "It's not the kind of reality anyone wanted."

"But it is the reality." Kazuha admitted. "It's the reality, an' I ran away from it."

"But you're not doing that anymore, are you?" Ran asked. "Isn't that what matters the most?"

"That might be true, but even so..." Finally looking back towards Ran, Kazuha drew in a long breath, before slowly letting it out. "I said some brave words ta him, back when we first met again, but the truth is that I don't really know what ta do about all of this. It shouldn't have happened this way."

"No, it shouldn't have. It really shouldn't have." Ran admitted, shaking her head. "But that's not your fault, Kazuha." Nor was it _Shinichi's_ fault either, though she knew he blamed himself without end for it. "If there's anyone to blame for all of this, it's only just Merlot. And besides, the important thing is that you still believe in Hattori-kun, right?"

"I do." Kazuha admitted, turning her attention back towards Heiji once more. Reaching out a hand, she carefully entwined her own fingers with his, a faint smile tracing her face as she did so. They were rougher than she remembered, but there was no mistaking them for anything other than Heiji's hands. "I don't want ta run away from it any longer. Any of it."

"It's just..." Her grip on Heiji's hand tightening, Kazuha's gaze flickered once more towards his face. "Do ya really think he'll ever remember me? I know what he said, but..."

"I'm sure he will, in time." Ran told her. "Hattori-kun always was the type to do things at his own pace, after all. That probably includes remembering things as well. But I think he's taken a big first step towards that, with what he said."

"I think so too." Kazuha said, nodding her head. "An' until he does, I'll remember plenty fer the both of us."

"That's the spirit!" Ran said, nodding her head. "Now then, you must be a bit hungry. I was heading there myself, so do you want me to get you anything to eat from the cafeteria?"

"Ah, would ya?" Kazuha asked, her smile growing somewhat stronger. "Now that ya mention it, I'm actually _starvin_ '."

* * *

It had seemed like a good idea at the time, calling all four of them in. Not only would it be easier to tell the story only once, it would also allow him to hopefully avoid a private confrontation with the likes of Hattori Heizo. With the news he had to deliver, he'd rather avoid such a thing. The fact that he suspected that Heizo already had some idea that something was going on behind his back was part of that reason, if he had to be perfectly honest.

Perhaps this had been a mistake, Shinichi found himself thinking, far too late to actually correct it. Gaze darting between the two members of the FBI, and the two members of Osaka's police force, he could only draw in a long breath, digging up his resolve. He'd dealt with more tense situations than this, to be sure, even if he was having difficulty recalling them at this exact second.

Pulling them away in the middle of everything hadn't been an easy task, and if he missed this chance, he might not get another one. Best to get it out now, and not let it hang in the air any longer than it already was- because he knew that if he did that, even for someone like him, the temptation to continue to say nothing would become too great.

"You said there was something more about this matter that you needed to discuss with us, Kudo-kun?" Sensing the tension in the room, Jodie piped up, trying to break the ice- which he was rather grateful for.

Drawing in a long breath, steeling himself with it, Shinichi prepared to go into battle. It was a different one than the one he had fought not half a day ago, but one that was no less important. His friend's life was on the line, after all.

"That's right." Shinichi began. "I believe I've mentioned it in brief to you and Akai-san already, Jodie-san. This meeting is about that matter."

"If it's about that matter, I must confess, I'm rather curious about the fact that you chose to call Osaka's chief of police to this meeting as well." Shuichi was the one who spoke up next, his gaze flickering over in Heizo's direction. "If this is about Paikaru, then I believe the FBI would have more jurisdiction over him, considering a fair number of his crimes happened in America."

"He's right." Jodie mused, a slight frown on her face. "As far as we know, Paikaru hasn't committed any crimes within Japan."

"He hasn't." Perhaps he had been a bit too quick to reply to that, and for a moment, he wondered if he'd shown too many of his cards at once. Still, there wasn't anything else he could do but press forward. "Hattori-san and Toyama-san are... relevant to this matter nonetheless."

He didn't need to look in the man's direction to know that Heizo's eyes were fixed on him. The intensity of his gaze was enough to make his skin crawl- it would seem that his theory that was right on the mark. He didn't know exactly how much he had pieced together, but it would appear that he had some idea of why he was called here, and what relation he might have to the matter of Merlot's pupil.

This wasn't going to be easy. But then, he never thought it would be.

"Relevant?" Shuichi asked. "How?"

"Let me start at the beginning." Shinichi told them, reaching into his jacket pocket. He'd borrowed Hakuba's digital camera, and had the photo that he had taken printed out. For a moment, all he could do was tightly grip the pair of photos, before he let out a breath, sliding them down the table, one copy for each pair. "From this photograph."

"This is-!"

"Yeah." Nodding his head, Shinichi turned his attention Jodie's way. He wasn't yet ready to see what kind of expression Heizo wore, so hers was the easiest to deal with. "This photograph was taken by my associate, Hakuba Saguru, around two weeks ago. He happened to take it while he was on the trail of a certain man."

"I know." Taking the photograph in his hand, Shuichi merely quirked a brow. He'd never had any direct interaction with the young man depicted in them, but had nevertheless been aware of his existence. "So this is why someone as paranoid as you decided to trust an Organization member."

As expected of Akai Shuichi, he figured it out fast. Almost a little _too_ fast for Shinichi's comfort really, and he could only hope that his flinch hadn't shown half as much as he thought it had. He dared not look Heizo's way just yet, the man's continued silence a heavy weight in the pit of his stomach.

"That's one of the reasons." Shinichi admitted freely, closing his eyes. "I wasn't lying when I mentioned to you that there was no one else in this world who despised Merlot as much as Paikaru. That's part of it too."

"But since when...?" Jodie trailed off. From the way she hadn't finished her sentence, Shinichi could tell without looking that she was locked in thought, doubtlessly trying to piece together since when Hattori Heiji had been a member of the Organization. How they could have overlooked something like that.

"After." Shinichi told them, opening his eyes, yet not directing them towards anyone. "It was after I- _we_ \- thought we lost him. And in a sense... we did. The one to find him first was Merlot, and ironically enough, it's thank to her quick action that he lived, however..."

"Amnesia."

The sound of Heizo's voice nearly made him jump, but Shinichi steeled himself, not letting it show. Finally forcing himself look the man's way, he took in the deep expression of consideration on the man's face, feeling a vague sense of relief with it. He didn't know what kind of deal he could cut for Heiji with the FBI, but at the very least, he wanted to get out of this _without_ his parents hating him.

His mother, he doubted, would ever do such a thing. The real challenge therein lay with his father. Ran had told him about Paikaru's reaction to learning the identity of his father, and in truth, his reaction had been far from baseless.

Realizing that he had been waiting for a response, Shinichi slowly nodded his head. "Yes, that's correct. Because of that incident, Hattori experienced severe memory loss, a condition that was taken advantage of by Merlot. It would seem that at some point, your son's skills caught her interest, and so she decided to take his condition as if it were some kind of divine gift to her."

"Up until two weeks ago, he didn't even know his own name. He was lied to, and given a false identity, under which he's been living for the past five years. He was manipulated into what he is now, he didn't become as such by choice." Those words were not so much meant for the FBI, as they were for those who had known him. For those who had watched him grow, from a little baby, to a high school student, and to those who had thought that they had lost him as one.

"To be honest, he still doesn't remember anything." Shinichi told them. "However, after I confronted him, he expressed interest in working with me even before I told him anything about who he really was. Hattori has-" he began, before shaking his head, quickly correcting himself, "... _Paikaru_ has been looking for an out from the Organization, and that lifestyle all this time."

"So this is why you want to ask for a deal." Jodie mused aloud, her brows furrowing together. If this was true, then it was a rather delicate situation. It wasn't as if any of that was good enough reason to not punish for the crimes that he had committed- but it did make the entire situation more complicated. At the very least, it was something that needed to be taken into consideration.

"To be frank, yes." Shinichi said finally, almost feeling a small weight leaving his shoulders now that it was out in the open. "Of course, I'm not asking that he walk free. The fact that he killed people can't be agreed, and I think that Hattori would probably agree with me. I get the feeling that Paikaru would agree as well."

"You speak of them as if they're different people." Shuichi noted, his face unreadable.

"It is a bit like that, in a sense." Shinichi admitted after a moment. "He's spent the past five years believing he's someone else, after all, it's inevitable that this would affect him. Still, underneath that, I don't think that he's changed all that much, that Hattori. Even though he could have run at any time, he stuck with us until the very end."

"And? Where is he now?" It was Ginshiro who spoke up this time, almost surprising Shinichi, considering that he had been silent this entire time. "I'm going to assume that wherever he is, my daughter is probably with him right now."

"That's right." Shinichi said, nodding his head. "He was injured while were apprehending Merlot, in which he played a very large part. When I left him, he was still sleeping. Ah, but speaking of which-" blinking a little, Shinichi turned his head back towards the pair, a curious expression on his face. "...how did you know it was amnesia, Hattori-san?"

"Instinct." Heizo's response was simple and concise, even as he didn't break his eyes away from the photograph before him. It was a face that he thought he'd never get to see- the face of his grown up son. For the longest time, it had been frozen in time, as a second year in high school. He never imagined that the frozen time would ever move.

Certainly not like this.

It was an unpleasant situation.

To think that something like this had been allowed to happen... While their relationship had always been strained, his position and reputation alike creating a shadow from which Heiji always felt he had to escape, it wasn't as if he didn't care for his son. To know that he had been alive all this time, forced into a lie, used in such a way- as a father, it made his blood boil.

Even so, he was a lawman through and through. Just because the one who had committed such crimes was his son, it didn't lessen the severity of them, nor change his opinion of them. As much as he knew the face that stared back at him, even with the changes that time had brought to it, in a sense, it was almost as if he were staring back at the face of stranger.

Amnesia had always been one of Kazuha's theories, a reason as to why Heiji wouldn't return home, even if he was still alive. Rather than think that his son had willingly joined such people, it was the easiest to think that such a thing had been possible after all- that Kazuha had been right all along.

It was a bitter pill to swallow.

"I see." Frowning slightly, Shinichi sensed that there was a bit more to it, but for the moment, decided not to press the matter. "Of course, I'll bring you all to meet with him if you desire, once he wakes up, but both for his circumstances and his assistance alike, I think that's grounds enough for something to be done for his case."

"What was it you were thinking of requesting?" It was a rather direct question, on that naturally came from Shuichi. "Regardless of circumstances, you must know that we simply can't allow an assassin to walk free."

"I'm not asking for that, as I said previously." Shinichi told him frankly, forcing his expression to remain as neutral as possible. "But at the very least, I'd like it if the death sentence could be avoided."

It was as if the weight that had been lifted off of his shoulders had returned all at once, creating a deep tension in the room. For the longest, nobody spoke- before Jodie finally broke the silence, what was obviously a strained smile on her face.

"We'll see what we can do for your friend, Kudo-kun." Jodie told him. "But I can't give you any promises."

"I didn't expect that you would." Shaking his head, Shinichi released his held breath. "But if there's anything that's in your power to do, Jodie-san, I would appreciate it."

He'd done all he could for now- the rest was up to the FBI.

* * *

"Kudo-kun, a moment."

It wasn't as if he had been expecting to slip out of Osaka's police headquarters without being cornered by Hattori Heizo- but he certainly had given it his best shot. The man _knew_ it too, he could already tell that much. That alone was more than enough to make Shinichi sweat, for a moment, feeling as if he were a small child again.

"Of course, Hattori-san." Quickly composing himself, Shinichi drew in a breath. "If it's about not telling you about Hattori earlier, that was..."

"No, it's not about that." Though he could almost feel the disapproval on Heizo's voice as clear as day, for the moment, it would seem that he had chosen to put it aside. As usual though, his face was rather hard to read, which was not helping matters. "Where is he?"

"Ah, Hattori, you mean?" Shinichi asked, blinking for a moment. "I did say that once he woke up, that I would..."

"No." Heizo cut him off, his tone one that brokered no arguments. "Regardless of the circumstances, I need to see him. If possible, before the FBI agents you brought have a chance to."

"Sure, I don't have a problem with that..." Shinichi began, his gaze trailing away slightly from Heizo, flinching a little when it instead caught Ginshiro's. He hadn't even noticed that the man had joined them, his superior's presence dominating to the point where it was hard to sense anyone else. "He is your son, after all. I'm sure you've got any number of things you want to say to him."

"Yes." Once more, Heizo's voice and tone alike were unreadable, giving him no clues as to what the man might be thinking. "I'd like to meet him for myself."

"And _I'd_ like to see the face of my increasingly elusive daughter." Ginshiro's comment was clearly one meant to be private, though he'd said it somewhat louder than intended.

"And then what?" The question escaped him before he had a chance to stop himself, but now that it had, all he could do was own up to it. "As I mentioned before, Hattori still doesn't remember anything. According to the person I had look into the matter of his memory loss, there's any number of complications in relation to his memory returning."

"That's why I want to meet him." Heizo said simply. "To see what kind of person that foolish son of mine has become."

"Ah." For a moment, that was all Shinichi could think to say, before he gave the man a rather curt nod. "He's not... all that bad, you know. At the very least, for what it's worth, he has plenty of regret."

Or rather, it was more like he was learning to regret- but he supposed that in a sense, it was the same thing. Much like his memories, much of his heart had been sealed off for the past five years- now that he had a taste of living at least something like a normal person, he had started to open up more, started to soften out.

Never completely. The changes that had been made were too fundamental, too bone deep. But Heiji would adapt.

If he were given the chance, that was.

"Mm." Heizo's reply, as well as his expression, were both equally unhelpful. "So we'll see."

* * *

"You're here, huh?"

"So it seems."

"Guess I can take from this that I'm not dead just yet."

"So it would seem."

"Can't complain much about that." Closing his eyes, drawing in a long breath though he knew this was merely a dream, a hand strayed up to the back of Paikaru's neck. "Can't say I'm much interested in dying, not that this point."

"I personally can't recommend it." With a shrug of his shoulders, and something that almost seemed like a grin, Heiji could only let out a small laugh. "Nothin' good comes from it."

"Well, you'd be the expert there." Paikaru noted, tilting his head a bit. The specter of his former self that had been haunting his dreams ever since he had first learned of him seemed a bit different this time- fainter than before. "I'm not going to see you again after this, am I?"

"Probably not." Shaking his head, Heiji placed a hand on the brim of his cap. "In the end, I'm nothin' more than a figment of yer subconscious. An' ya don't really need me around any longer."

"So it's time to lay Hattori Heiji to rest, you're saying?" Paikaru asked, a slight frown crossing his features. "There's people who will be sad to see you go, you know. You shouldn't leave."

" _Idiot_ , didn't ya say it yerself?" For what felt like the first time, the detective lifted his head, revealing his eyes from underneath the shadow of his cap. "I'm leavin' the job of bein' Hattori Heiji up ta you now, Paikaru. Give it yer best shot, come what may."

"Life in prison, if I'm lucky." Paikaru couldn't help but observe, even as he felt the faint edges of a smile tug at his face. "But are you sure about this? I'm still _me_ , after all. I don't think I can ever really be you."

"Well, ya can start by losin' that god awful standard Tokyo dialect of yers." Heiji noted, his grin growing even as his form slowly began to fade, rendering him nearly see through. "Regardless of whether yer ready or not, ya said it yerself, so I'm goin' ta have ya take responsibility fer yer words. It's too late ta back out now, Paikaru."

Letting out a long breath, Paikaru folded his arms in front of his chest. "Well, if ya put it like that, I guess I have no choice. Since I'm here, I'll take care of things in yer place, I guess."

"That's what I wanted ta hear!" With a firm nod of his head, the detective strode forward several steps, until he stood in front of the other version of himself. Were it not for the height gap between the two, they would have been nose to nose. "Take care of them, ya hear. I told ya that much already, but if ya mess up, I might get so mad that I'll come back from the dang dead just ta bother ya."

"I'll keep that in mind, since it feels like ya _really_ would." Paikaru noted, locking eyes with ones that had become a bit easier to recognize as those of his own. "I'll look after them fer ya, so you can finally rest in peace, or whatever it is that the dead do."

"I don't suppose this deal comes with our memories, does it?"

"Who knows?" With a shrug of his shoulders, Heiji reached up, plucking off his cap, seeming to consider it for a long moment. "I'm only just a figment of yer subconscious, after all. I can only know what ya do."

" _Helpful_." Paikaru half-joked. "Well, I'll do my best ta live as a proper human from now on. I've got promises ta keep, after all."

"Ya'd better." Heiji noted, once more glancing up towards him, a serious expression on his face. It only lasted a moment longer, before that bright grin returned, an expression that Paikaru could only wonder if he would be able to make in complete earnest one day. "Well then..."

The bright grin on his face unfading, Heiji carefully placed his cap on the other's head, taking a step back, out of his reach, once he was done. "...that's yers now, so take care of it. An' everyone else as well."

Reaching up to place a hand on the brim of the cap, he could only watch as the specter of his former self grew even more transparent than before- and yet, for some reason, he could only find it in him to return his smile, as best he could.

"Yeah, I will."

* * *

So he wasn't dead after all.

At least, he was fairly certain he was alive. The afterlife probably didn't look like the ceiling of a hospital room, with lights that were far too bright glaring down at him. And judging from the person by his side, who stirred the moment that he roused himself, he was going to assume that he hadn't landed himself in hell- Toyama Kazuha, after all, had no business being there.

" _Hei_ -!" As if my instinct, Kazuha spoke his name, before drawing back, wondering if it were really right. He had passed out basically right after he had said those words, after all, so there was a chance that he might not even remember them. "Ah, that is..."

"No, it's fine." From the way his voice cracked slightly as he spoke, he must have been out for at least half a day. Licking his lips, feeling how dry they were, he drew in and let out a long breath, before he continued. He couldn't such important words hanging for very long. "Heiji's fine, Kazuha."

To be honest, he was still pretty sore, and the bright lights overheard didn't do much to help his mood. He didn't quite care all that much for waking up in hospitals- it might have been an underground one that he had been treated in, but the layout of the room was alike enough to bring up some rather unpleasant memories.

 _"Do ya know me?"_

 _"Of course I do. You could say that I'm your mother,_ _ **Paikaru**_ _. I've raised you ever since you were a wee babe. I'm Merlot."_

Even so, for her, the only expression that he could wear was a smile.

"That's my name, after all."


	19. Maybes

**AN** : It's chapter nineteen! Gosh, it's hard to believe that this story will be over in about two chapters, isn't it? It's been a long ride since then, and while there are some things that I wanted to do with this fic that I ended up not wanting to do, and a few things that I regret doing in hindsight, overall, I still really enjoyed writing this fic! Except for that one time I got told the main plot of the story was "filler", I didn't so much care for that part, lol. But that one person aside, I really have to say that I loved having each and every one of you around for the run, and I hope you stick with me until the very end!

Until next time!

* * *

 **Phantasmal Black**

 **Chapter Nineteen**

 **Maybes**

* * *

 _"That's my name, ya know."_

She'd probably been holding it in all this time, really, just waiting for him to say those words. She'd barely even given him a chance to finish, before she found herself with her arms thrown around him, clutching him so tightly to her chest that it almost felt as if she was afraid he would disappear if she so much as let go. Though she felt him tense at first, like a coiled snake, it took no longer than a moment for all that tension to wash out of him.

For the first time, it truly felt as if Heiji had finally come home.

"Yer really, _really_ home." The words slipped out, much like her tears, unable to be stopped. But they were different from the ones that she had shown to Ran before- tears of happiness, tears of relief. " _Heiji_."

"Yeah." The hand that he placed on the small of her back was so gentle, it almost felt as if he were afraid of breaking her. It was silly, really- she wasn't nearly that weak. "I'm home, Kazuha."

" _Idiot_!" That too, came out without prompting. For a moment, she almost felt as if she were a high school girl again, as if she had once more been kept waiting, their promise to meet up having gone forgotten in the light of a case. "Why did it take ya so damn long ta come back? Don't ya know how long I waited fer ya, ya huge _idiot_!?"

"Sorry, Kazuha." Closing his eyes, Hattori Heiji drew in a long breath, all but drawing in her familiar scent. "I didn't mean ta. I got a bit held up, by various things. But I'm here now. An' I don't plan on goin' anywhere, not this time."

There was a long pause there, a silence that hung between them, as they both clearly recognized that the decision here was not so much his own. What would happen from here on out was largely beyond his control- he could only attempt to argue in his favor, and see what he could get from that.

Even so, it felt as if the noose around his neck had been loosened, allowing him room to breathe. It might not be much of one, but he had a future ahead of him, one that finally connected him to the past. A past that bit by bit, piece by piece, felt as if it would growing longer than the span of just five years- and not by mere virtue of time passing.

"I remember." His words were so faint, she barely made them out at first, and by the time she had, he had already continued. "At the very least, I remember that somethin' like this happened before. Less huggin' though."

"Of course it has, ya idiot." Finally forcing herself to pull away from him, if only to hear his words better, Kazuha reached up a hand, wiping a stray tear away. There were so many questions that she wanted to ask, pressing him for anything and everything that he might remember- but for the moment, she would put those on hold. "If there's one thing that hasn't changed about ya, it's yer knack fer findin' trouble, Heiji."

The blue eyes that stared up at her still carried with them a trace of a stranger, she thought. They might very well do so for the rest of his life. But that was fine- now that the shadows were gone, she had plenty of time to get to know the stranger in them, until they too, one day became the familiar.

"Yeah, that's... _kinda_ the impression I've been gettin' of myself." Still not wanting to let go of her, he found his other hand straying to his cheek, scratching it out of virtue of nervous habit. One he suspected that he'd always had, judging from the way that people reacted to it.

"Well it's sure as heck not _wrong_." Kazuha told him, puffing out her cheeks a little, almost pretending to pout. It felt a bit silly, really, but for a moment, she would allow herself to act however she pleased. After all, the only person here to see it was just Heiji. "Even before ya started showin' off by solvin' cases, ya still managed ta find trouble fer yerself. Like that time in second grade when ya got carried away an' fell off the jungle gym after climbin' off all the way ta the top!"

"That one I don't remember." Heiji confessed.

"That's probably more cause ya smacked yer head real good on the way down." Kazuha remarked. "Come ta think of it, we're probably lucky that ya just didn't up an' get amnesia _then_."

"It's not like I _wanted_ ta get amnesia, ya know!" Narrowing his eyes, Heiji finally let his hand slip from her waist, though she made no move to remove her own in return. He made no move to remove them himself, either. "Just look how it worked out fer me!"

"But ya still came back, didn't ya?" Kazuha asked, giving him a smile. "In spite of everythin', ya still came back."

"Yeah." Reaching up, Heiji placed a careful hand against her cheek, one hand wiping away the last trace of tears that clung to them. Even if they were probably tears of happiness, to make her cry again... he seriously was the worst kind of guy. Such a thing... he wouldn't allow such a thing to happen, ever again. "I guess I did."

Finally pulling her hands away from him, tracing over his shoulders as she did so, Kazuha couldn't keep the smile off of her face. Though he flinched somewhat as she took his hand in her own, he made no attempts to pull away from her. Cupping his hand within her own, she felt the traces of scars, ones that had blossomed in the missing time between them, pressing against her palms, an unfamiliar sensation, on otherwise familiar hands.

These too, she would learn.

"Welcome home, Heiji."

* * *

"...are you okay?"

Judging from the way he had caught Ran hovering just outside of Heiji's hospital room, it hadn't been that hard to guess that he had woken up at some point. And judging from the way she had pressed her fingers to her lips, hurriedly shushing him when he had moved to call out her name, it had also been fairly obvious that he was having something of a moment.

When he had broken it up, he could have sworn that Kazuha's glare was one that was meant to kill, more than enough to send a shiver down his spine. Granted, he could perfectly understand why it was that she would be upset at being interrupted, but it wasn't as if what he needed to speak with Heiji about could exactly _wait_.

And well... for Heiji's sake too, it was probably for the best that he have something of a break. Maybe it was a little too little, a little too late, though- really, if anything, it was a small miracle that he had managed to hold it in this long.

He'd come here to have a serious conversation with him, but judging from how beet red his face was right now, he was starting to wonder if such a thing would even be possible. If he didn't know any better, there was literal steam rising from his cheeks, and he half wondered if he'd get burned if he so much as touched them right now.

"Y-yeah. M'fine." Finally managing to stammer out an answer, Heiji lifted a hand, almost trying to conceal his flustered expression. Considering that he'd already gotten quite the up close look at it, it felt a bit silly to do it now, really. He'd thought that maybe he would get used to it in time, but apparently, that was proving more difficult than he'd thought.

He wasn't sure if it was the kindness, which still felt undue, or if it was simply Kazuha that caused such a reaction. To be sure, he'd grown so unused to the former that it felt practically alien to him, but perhaps the true explanation behind how shaken she could leave him sometimes was due to a mixture of both.

"...so you're _not_ in love with her, huh?" Unable to help himself, the question slipped right out, to which Shinichi found himself following it up with a matching grin. "It's only around Kazuha that you get that flustered, you know."

" _Shut up_." Though the words themselves had been on the quiet side, the glare that Heiji shot his way was more than enough to convey their meaning. Compared to the spine chilling glare that he'd shot him during their reunion, this lacked any sort of real bite- but it wasn't quite the same as the grumpy, sour glare that he had given him in the past whenever he'd said something a bit too far.

Still, he preferred it.

"M' just not good with this stuff, that's all." Heiji mumbled, breaking his gaze, unable to take even one more second of that leering grin of his. "I'm not used ta people bein' nice ta me, least not _genuinely_. Usually there's some kinda motive behind it."

"I'd imagine not." Shinichi said, kneeling down to pick up the chair that had been on the floor, not questioning why it was there in the first place. "I still haven't had the chance to talk to her, not yet. For the moment, I'm letting Hakuba handle that end."

He was avoiding it, in truth, uncertain if he'd be able to keep his cool around the woman who had used and manipulated someone he cared about like this. He knew that he couldn't do it forever- before she left for America, he would have to speak to her at least once. It might be his only chance to, he couldn't waste it.

"I wouldn't advise it, but I get the feelin' yer gonna do it anyways." Heiji noted, his gaze flickering back towards him, brows knitting together. "Yer not askin'."

"Do you feel like talking?" Shinichi asked simply, taking a seat. "You've been through a lot, and we've already got a number of things we need to discuss. I thought we'd go through those first."

"Eh, it's not like this is my _first_ time bein' shot." With a slight shrug of his shoulders, Heiji placed a hand on his stomach, hovering over where he knew a scar from another life rested. He kept it away from the one near his heart, but he could feel Shinichi's eyes straying up towards it nonetheless. "That's part of why it was so easy ta believe what she was tellin' me in the first place."

"I suppose that would make it more convincing." Shinichi said, forcing himself to tear his eyes away. He'd already seen them once before, while he had been searching him, and had been forcing himself not to think on them since. "High school detective isn't exactly the most _normal_ of roles."

"Well between ya, me, an' Blondie, it sounds like there was a right crop of us back then, looks like." Heiji noted, leaning back against the wall. "That Sera woman too, I guess. Somethin' in the water, maybe."

"You might be on to something there." Though a faint laugh escaped from him at his words, it still was not nearly enough to lift Shinichi's expression from the grim one that it had settled upon. "You still don't remember anything yet, do you?"

There was guilt laced in his words, so thick that he felt as if he would nearly choke on it. With the shadow of the Organization all but no more, he could feel it, threatening to bubble up to the surface, in a way that he knew that he would never be able to hold back. But for just a little longer, just a little bit longer, he needed to hold it at bay- for there was still far too much work to be done to allow himself to be weighed down by the end result of his own past errors.

But with the silence between them weighing down on him as it was now, it was hard not to let some of that leak out.

"Ya know, there's no need ta make that kind of face." Letting out a long, almost exasperated sigh, Heiji finally broke the silence. A hand straying up behind his neck, he couldn't return anything but a frown, not when confronted with that kind of face. He might have been better at it in the past, but as it was, he didn't know what to do with being confronted with the rather obvious fact that Shinichi was burdened with guilt over what had happened.

"Sorry, it's just..." Shaking his head, Shinichi turned on his heel, facing away from him. He'd always known that they didn't have many options, but that much had become crystal clear after speaking with Akai and Jodie. They would do what they could, but there were limits to that.

"Ya don't have ta worry about somethin' like that." Heiji said after a moment, letting out another sigh, a trace of a grin crossing his face. " _I'm_ the one who made the choice ta stay, knowin' full well I'd have ta face the music fer a lot of things. Whatever happens ta me, it's probably honestly more than I actually deserve."

Shinichi couldn't find it in him to argue that point- he was right, after all. Still...

"I wish that wasn't the case, Hattori."

The use of his name- his _real_ name- gave him something of a pause, before Heiji let out a faint snort. "What, so ya heard. Did Kazuha tell ya?"

"No, I was there." Shinichi said, shaking his head. "I wish I'd gotten there a bit sooner, so I could have prevented you from getting shot again, though."

"Ta be frank, I'm just lucky I'm not dead." Heiji admitted, giving him a shrug of his shoulders. "Without Kazuha, I probably would be too. Gotta pay her back somehow."

"Is that part of the reason you're staying?" Shinichi asked, turning back slightly on his heel, daring to look back again. "For Kazuha?"

Really, there was no need for him to do anything like pay her back- he had already given her exactly what she wanted. Not exactly as she had wanted it, but there was no greater gift than proving that she was right to have faith in his survival all this time. Maybe if he had the same faith, maybe if he had searched a little harder, things would be different.

Maybe, maybe, maybe. No matter how he tried to avoid them, he always found himself coming back to the maybes. More than likely, they would probably haunt him for the rest of his life, much like those of Miyano Akemi's still did, even after all this time. Maybe, maybe.

"That's part of it." Heiji told him, strangely finding himself unable to do anything but grin, even in this situation. "I wish I could say that the other part is out of some noble duty of payin' fer what I've done, but it ain't that. It's fer myself, really. I feel like if I run away again, I'll be runnin' away from my past, an' I'll never get it back."

"So you really don't remember." Shinichi noted, letting out a long sigh. "Well, it's not as if I were expecting a miracle. If there were such things, you probably already used yours up, back on the boat."

"Yeah, if ya buy yer miracles from the discount bin." Heiji noted, quirking a brow. That got him the desired effect- a hint of a smile on Shinichi's face, and something that he couldn't help but find curious as to having wanted it. "I don't really remember anythin' yet, but I feel like I could, at least a bit easier."

Maybe names really did hold a bit of power, after all. It wasn't as though he felt as if the shadow of Paikaru had been liberated from him- indeed, it still felt strange and unfamiliar to be addressed as Hattori Heiji. In time, perhaps he'd grow used to it once again, much as he did with Paikaru.

That would probably always be a part of him though.

"That's progress." Finally turning all the way back around, Shinichi tucked his hands in front of his pockets. "Haibara says that you shouldn't strain yourself though, trying to remember."

"I know. She told me that much." Heiji noted. "Well, I'll probably have plenty of time ta think about it, wherever I end up. Prison, probably."

"We'll visit, if we can." Shinichi told him quickly. "I can't speak for anyone other than myself and Ran, but..."

"Oh, I already know _that_." Heiji said. "No reassurances required, Kudo-han."

"You could just call me Kudo, you know." Shinichi observed. "Like you used to."

"I don't think so." Closing his eyes, Heiji shook his head. "I don't feel like I have the right ta address ya as any kind of equal, Kudo-han. Not now, at the very least. Really, I probably shouldn't be callin' Neechan so casually either, but it seems like that's a nickname that's engrained real deep in me. Her an' the littler one."

"Of the two of them, Haibara's the more likely to be annoyed at you for it." Shinichi said, a faint laugh escaping him, even as he tried to swallow back how much those words stung. It wasn't as if he'd thought he'd ever get it back, exactly- the kind of relationship that they had before this.

But if there was one thing that sunk in the reality of it, it was those words. Although he was still alive, the days in which they worked together to solve cases were long behind them. Hattori Heiji was still alive, but the high school detective that he once was, was probably buried forever.

It hurt, more than he fully realized it would, to accept that.

"If that's how you want it." Burying anything else that he might want to say, Shinichi settled instead for what he had came here for in the first place. "They're going to want to meet you, you know. The members of the FBI that I've been speaking without in regards to your case."

"Did I know them?" Heiji asked.

"Only one." Shinichi told him. "And even then, only a little. She's the easy one, though. I don't suppose Gin ever mentioned anything about an Akai Shuichi to you, did he?"

"Ya probably know him about as well as I do, Kudo-han, do ya really think he _wouldn't?_ " Heiji asked, arching a brow. "Between the two of ya, I honestly can't tell which he hates the more. Never met him myself though."

"You'd have had a tough time getting away if you had." Shinichi noted.

"Wow, thanks fer the vote of confidence there." Letting out a small snort, Heiji felt a frown pull at his lips. "There's somethin' more that ya still haven't told me yet, isn't there? Well, I can make a few guesses, though."

"It's your father." Better to cut to the chase, rather than beat around the bush, Shinichi thought. "He knows about you, and it seems that he wants to meet with you, at least once."

"Let him, then." Heiji said, shrugging his shoulders. "I guess I owe him that much."

"I thought you'd protest the idea a little more." Shinichi admitted. "Considering how you reacted when Ran told you about him."

"Oh trust me, I might not look it, but I'm screamin' on the inside. Loud as can be." Heiji quickly reassured him, the strain on his smile speaking the truth to his words. "But if I'm goin' ta face down my past, I guess I gotta face down my parents at some point. They deserve ta know their son is _alive_ , at the very least, fer whatever that's worth at this point."

Probably not all that much, he couldn't help but think. He couldn't help but wonder what his relationship with his father had been like in the past, if just the mere mention of him gave him this uneasy, crawling sensation. Whether it had been good or bad, either way, he was nothing more than a horrible failure of a son now, so he supposed it didn't really matter that much.

"I see." Closing his eyes, Shinichi drew in a long breath. "In that case, I'll go ahead and contact him now. It would be for the best that he gets a chance to speak with you before the FBI do. I'm not sure what will happen after that."

"Well either way, it sounds like I have a busy day ahead of me." Heiji noted. "Ya sure do know how ta treat a guy who was basically in critical condition only a day ago."

"Reconsidering running away?" Shinichi joked.

"A bit." His grin growing somewhat more natural, Heiji placed a hand over his stomach. "But not until Kazuha brings me that food she promised before. I'm _starved_!"

* * *

It started with a prickle at the back of his neck.

It was one that he had come to recognize, over the years. He did not consider himself the type to believe in superstitions, but nor was he the type to deny something that was right in front of him. Perhaps it was something akin to an aura, were there such things, that he had tuned himself to be able to pick up on right away. Not every criminal that he captured gave off such a feeling- only a select few.

Amongst them, those of the Black Organization stood out.

Though he hadn't yet gone to visit the woman, the one that Shinichi claimed was chiefly responsible for all but spiriting his son away, he had gone to visit the man. He knew of him, though he'd never so much as seen the man called Gin directly before. Even so, he cut a figure that was hard to forget, even when he was confined and imprisoned. To a lesser man, perhaps the aura that he gave off would have been enough to spark something like fear in him, or at the very least, some form of vague apprehension.

But Hattori Heizo was no common man, and he had faced down more than his fair share of criminals in his years. Though the man known by the codename of Gin was exceptional, in the end, his presence was nothing that he couldn't handle. And in that sense, what he was picking up on now was nothing that he couldn't handle- it was the source of it that was the problem.

That said, he couldn't claim that he hadn't been fully expecting something like this. It would seem that holding off on telling Shizuka had been the right choice. Having to be introduced to his own son was cause enough for the feeling that something was out of place- were Shizuka able to pick up on something like _this_ , she would doubtlessly only end up in pain.

He'd never remembered Heiji having such cold eyes. In those eyes, there was an expression of wariness, a watchful gaze that told him that all of his actions were closely being monitored, as if he were waiting for him to make the wrong move. The way that he had tensed up as soon as he had entered the room- no, perhaps even before that, had caught his attention as well.

These were not things that he was doing intentionally, he sensed, watching as he drew in something of a breath, a small trace of the aura he was giving off seeming to fade back. Most of it, however, remained behind- telling him perhaps more than words ever could. Though Shinichi had reassured him that it would be fine to call him by his name, in reality, Heizo couldn't help but wonder if the one he was meeting here wasn't still Paikaru, the Black Organization's assassin.

But he'd also come into this fully aware that his son had most likely changed since he had seen him last. Still, even he had to admit, he was ultimately unprepared for the extent of it.

"You're-" Barely even a word got out before he took them back, drawing in a long breath as he seemed to correct himself. His son had never been good at speaking standard Japanese, but that too, seemed to have been something that had changed. "...yer shorter than I thought ya'd be."

"You grew." Heizo stated. Out of the corner of his eye, he could sense Shinichi giving them some space, hovering just out of view. Likely he didn't want to get too directly involved in whatever was about to unfold.

Right now, it was nothing more than silence. He was certain that just as he was gauging him, he was being gauged as well. There was still something left of that analytical gaze his son used to possess in those blue eyes of his, but the nature behind them had changed. The disconnect alone was nearly enough to make his skin crawl.

As he thought, this would be no easy reunion.

"So, do I have a grave somewhere?"

Suffice to say, it wasn't the question that he had been expecting. Quite frankly, he couldn't determine if it had been meant to provoke or not, or even what purpose it would have served if it did. If anything, he'd most likely blurted out the very first thing that had come to his mind, heedless of any kind of filter.

In that regard, that was very much something that hadn't changed.

"You do." Heizo answered frankly. "There's nothing in it, naturally."

"That'd be scary if there was." Perhaps it was meant to be a joke, but the disconnect between the slightly jovial tone in which it was spoken, and the tense expression on his face made it hard to determine.

In the past, there used to be those who expressed their doubts that the two of them were actually father and son- and the difference in the way they expressed themselves was chief among them. Heizo knew full well that he was a hard man to read- it was something that served him well in his role as a police officer, though perhaps not as well in his role as a father. Perhaps because of that, Heiji, on the other hand, had always been an open book.

Not so much anymore, Heizo found himself thinking. It was never something that he had wished his son to have in common with him, in the end.

"That it would be." Heizo said, moving to take a seat. He didn't miss the way the sudden movement caused him to tense- only relaxing when he'd finally sat down. A bit more relaxed than he had been before, Heizo noted- as he thought, the way that he had been hovering over him previously was not something that sat well with him.

The wariness that his son watched him with, that seemed to be etched into every fiber of him... that was as much an indication of how much training he had gone through, as well as very much an indication of what he could only define as abuse. The scars that blossomed outwards along his left arm, crackling in a gut wrenching pattern, helped too to tell a story that words perhaps, would not entirely suffice for.

That too, was something he would keep in mind. For if there was one thing that Heizo had come to deeply understand during his time with the police, it was that there was sometimes a very thin line that separated a criminal from a victim. Those who killed for revenge, those who killed to protect themselves... not all of those who made the choice to take a human life did so for light reasons.

But none had half so much blood on their hands as his own son.

He'd read them, once more, before coming here. All of the files that Kazuha kept on Paikaru. He knew where to find them, after all, and during the chaos, she'd never so much as thought to come back to claim them. More than likely, without the kind of deal Shinichi was hoping to make with the FBI, there would be nothing waiting for him at the end of the road but death.

And that was not something Heizo wished to see.

"I'm sure ya gathered as much already, but just in case, I'll tell ya myself." From the way that black presence around him had eased once more, it would seem that he had grown somewhat used to his presence. "I don't remember a damn thing about ya. The only reason I recognize ya is cause I was shown a picture before."

"Kudo-kun informed me of your memory loss." Heizo stated simply. "I did not expect anything else."

"Well, that's good then." There was a tight frown on his face, a look of almost hesitation in his eyes- which seemed a tad less cold now than when he had first entered, if no less wary. "I'll be frank with ya, I don't really understand what it is that ya want with me. I heard about it, ya know, yer role with the police. I would have thought ya'd not want anythin' ta do with me, knowin' what ya know about me."

Ah, so there _was_ regret there. Were it not for the fact that Heizo recognized it as something quite recent, it would have put him a bit more at ease. Though Shinichi had vouched for him, it wasn't that hard to see that it was likely only after he had begun to learn about his past, that he had begun to develop such feelings.

Still, he could not deny that it was a good sign. If anything, it meant that rehabilitation was entirely possible, even for someone who carried such a record behind him. Never again would he return to what or who he once was, but it was possible, he thought, for him to once again become something more than he was now.

Perhaps he would be able to bring Shizuka to meet him after all. He'd only be able to keep the truth from her for so long.

"Is it truly so strange that a father should want to meet with his son?" Heizo asked. "All the more so when they've thought him dead for the past five years."

"Might have been better off." The averted gaze, the half mumbled words... all obvious clues that told him that those were not words anyone was meant to hear. "Well, ya've met me now. Ya satisfied, old man?"

That familiar term of address... perhaps there were some things still, that hadn't yet changed. It was not so much that the son that he knew was gone, Heizo realized, but rather had been buried, deep down. Much like in the way he had nearly used standard Japanese to speak at first, he had taken all that which would have earned the ire of that woman, and had hidden it, in a place where she couldn't reach.

Some of which had disappeared over time, some of it which had grown twisted. As a father, it was a hard thing to take. When his son had needed him the most- he had failed him. Failed him by giving him, failed him by believing him to be dead.

"I am." Heizo stated, cracking one eye open, gazing carefully at the young man that his son, that _Heiji_ , had grown up into. Were he not currently confined to a hospital bed, he likely would have been able to see far more than he was now- more of all the things that had changed. Things that had been hardwired into him, things that had no place being there.

There too, was regret in his heart.

Rising to his feet, Heizo watched the way that he tensed up again. This time, instead of following him with a wary gaze, it fell away from him, as if he didn't want to look him in the face. The tense air between them... in a way, that too, was something that hadn't entirely changed. He'd always known, in the end, that their relationship was not the best, and though he'd always tried to fix it, the source of the strain between them was not something that was so easily mended.

If anything, the gap had only grown. Were his memories to return... in the end, Heizo could only imagine that such a thing would only cause the gap between them to grow further, rather than to shrink.

This time, however, he intended to mend what he could. What Heiji had done, regardless of the circumstances behind it, was unforgivable- but these still, were sins that he could recover from, if given the chance. And too, did they appear to be sins that he wanted to recover from, to reform.

"The next time I come, it will be with your mother, Heiji." It was the first time that he had said his name since coming here, and judging from the way that Heiji himself flinched at it, he'd recognized it as well. "She never gave up hope that you were alive. You seem tense around people, so I suppose I should give you fair warning ahead of time that you may find it difficult to avoid her attempts to embrace you."

The look of complete and utter incomprehension on his face told him too, a story that mere words could not say. He'd been told something of the lies Heiji had been fed by Shinichi, at the very least, as much as he knew. The fact that he'd been told his parents had abandoned him, cast him out, had stuck out like a thorn to him.

He would not allow such a lie to become the truth.

In the end, even with the lies, he'd done the right thing. Perhaps not entirely for the right reasons, not at first- but it would seem those too, he was slowly stumbling into. It would not wash away anything else- but it showed that even entrenched in darkness, so deep that it had wrapped his very aura, that the child he'd helped raise for seventeen years was not someone that could so easily be erased.

Though if he had to say just one thing, the one reaction he hadn't excepted his words to earn was for his son's face to grow so red, that it nearly seemed as if he'd short circuited. Emotional, yes, Heiji had always been that way... but perhaps not so easily flustered as this.

Perhaps it would be wise to impress upon Shizuka to go easy on the boy. If words alone were enough to cause such a reaction, there was a very good chance he might not survive the affections of his _actual_ mother.

And as for the woman who had claimed that she filled that role for him... he could only imagine that he was only one in a long line of people that would like to very much have a word with her.

* * *

"You're going, aren't you, Shinichi?"

Though she did not move to impede his path in the least, the concern in her words was more than enough to stop him in his tracks. Coming to a halt, Shinichi drew in a long breath, before turning to face his fiancee.

"I am." Shinichi confirmed, with a nod of his head. "I wanted to give Hattori and Kazuha a bit more time to themselves. Before I have to meet with the FBI about him, I figured I might as well take the chance to go and speak with her."

Ran knew who the _her_ in question was without even having to ask. She also knew that there was no way that she could talk him out of it, though she didn't like it. Before they both were taken to America to await trail, this might very well be the last chance he had to speak to either of the captured Organization members.

It was strange, really- if one had asked her a month ago which one she was more nervous about, the answer clearly would have been Gin. Even now, she still didn't like the idea of putting Shinichi and that man together, alone, at that- even if Gin was confined at the moment. But now, after everything that had happened, her overall answer had changed- the one she was worried the most about now was _Merlot_.

But at the same time, she knew that he had to go. If he didn't, then he wouldn't be able to find closure. She couldn't keep him here- nor would she, really. She just didn't want to send him off without saying anything.

"I imagine those two have a lot to catch up on." Ran said, her gaze trailing down the hall, towards where Heiji's hospital room was. "How did his meeting with his father go?"

"Better than I thought it would." Shinichi confessed. "If only things with the FBI could go as smoothly."

"We can only hope." Ran said. "I'd hate to think their reunion would have to end at this. They deserve more, the both of them."

"Kazuha's good for him, that much I can already tell." A hint of a grin surfaced at that, as Shinichi turned to face Ran. "That is, when he can manage to deal with her."

"He's getting better at that." Ran noted, returning his smile with one of her own. "He's changed a bit, since we first met him."

"That's true." Shinichi admitted. "I'm still going, Ran."

"I know." Slowly nodding her head, Ran took a step forward, resting a hand on his shoulder. "I won't stop you, Shinichi. If you can get her to confess on record that she coerced Hattori-kun into all of this, it might very well help his case."

"I don't think she will. At the very least, not in the kind of phrasing that would actually _help_." Shinichi noted. "We're just lucky that Hattori didn't turn out to be like the rest of her so-called children. If he had... I don't know if there would be any taking him back. I don't want to think about it, really."

"I don't blame you." Ran said, shaking her head. "Those trails were hard to watch."

"I won't let that happen to Hattori." Placing his hand over her own, Shinichi locked eyes with her. "I won't."

"I know." Ran said, slowly nodding her head. "Be careful, Shinichi. We don't know what that woman will say. I'm sure most of it will be unpleasant to hear."

"I don't doubt it." Shinichi noted. "I'll be fine though, Ran. This is hardly my first rodeo."

"I know that." Ran told him, leaning forward a bit, planting a quick kiss on his lips, one that briefly left him speechless. The way that he would still get a bit flustered at that even now... honestly, she found that to be a rather endearing trait of his. "But I'm your fiancee, so I tend to worry when you run off on your own. Especially given precedence."

"I don't plan on shrinking a second time." Shinichi noted, unable to resist the joke. "Though something to turn back time sure would be pretty useful for Hattori right about now. Too bad it'd come with an almost ninety nine percent chance of death."

"That _does_ tend to be a drawback." Ran noted, drawing away from him a bit, still holding his hand in her own even as she did. "I'm not sure Hattori-kun would be fond of the idea himself either."

"He'd have to learn about _Conan-kun_ too, then." Shinichi couldn't help but note. "That's not a memory I'm looking forward to him getting back."

"You know what they say, _Conan-kun_ ~." Giving his hand a slight squeeze, Ran couldn't help but slip in a bit of teasing. "You have to take the good with the bad."

"Don't remind me." Leaning forward, Shinichi returned her earlier kiss, before reluctantly drawing away, letting go of her hand. "I have to go. I already contacted Jodie-san, so I'd hate to keep her waiting for much longer."

"Then, I'll watch over things here for you, Shinichi." Ran promised him. "Namely, making sure that Hattori-kun is still in one piece when you come back."

"Weren't you the one who said he was getting better about it?" Shinichi couldn't help but note.

"Better, not perfect." Ran noted. "Now then. Go give that woman a good talking to, Shinichi. For my sake as well."

"Yeah." With a firm nod of his head, Shinichi gave her a smile. "You can count on me, Ran."


	20. Deal

**AN** : Well, well, here we have the penultimate chapter! It's been a ride folks, but in some ways I almost regret to say that the next chapter will be very the last. I've had fun writing this story, for the most part, though in hindsight, there are plenty of things that I would have done differently if given the chance, but overall, I'm not completely dissatisfied with the result.

With that all said and done, please enjoy this, the second to last chapter!

* * *

 **Phantasmal Black**

 **Chapter Twenty**

 **Deal**

* * *

"So we finally meet, Kudo Shinichi."

"That should be my line." Shinichi said simply, as he took a seat. "I wish I could say it was a pleasure, but I'm not much of one for telling lies. Though I don't assume the same is true of you, Merlot."

"Perhaps I did lie, just a bit." Merlot said simply, an almost peaceful smile crossing her face. "But sometimes the lies that we tell can end up becoming the truth."

"Not this time, it didn't." Shinichi told her, keeping his tone level. That was bait, and he wasn't going to take it. "Hattori is back with us, where he belongs."

"Yes, but for how long?" Merlot asked. "You'll send all the others marching off to the gallows, but not him? You're a rather cold man, Kudo-san."

"Sending them to their deaths _wasn't_ my choice." Inwardly, Shinichi winced, realizing that his tone had been sharper than he'd intended. That was what she wanted from him, he sensed, and that was exactly what he couldn't give her. "If I could have, I would have prevented it."

"I see. My mistake then." Merlot said, closing her eyes. "You're not cold, you're _soft_. It's a wonder that you've managed to protect anything, nevermind for this long."

"Sometimes a little softness is needed." Shinichi said, his lips tightening in a frown. "But I suppose that's not something you would understand, Merlot. Not after everything that you put Hattori through- and not just him, but the others, too. You can't just lay the blame at my feet for their deaths when you're the one who lead them to it."

"Of course not." Merlot said, opening her eyes. "They only have themselves to blame for allowing themselves to get caught in the first place, much like it is no fault but my own that I am here now. I trained them better than that, and yet they still failed, so that's just simply as far as their talent could take them. It's not anything that I have anything to do with."

"You really believe that, don't you?" Shinichi asked. "You're almost exactly like I expected you to be."

"Well I must say, I'm glad that I could live up to your expectations." Merlot told him, carefully placing her hands in her lap. It was eerie, really, how calm she seemed to be. She would be facing the death penalty for sure, and yet it seemed as if it didn't bother her at all.

Heiji, from what little he'd managed to speak of with him, seemed convinced that she wouldn't attempt to flee. That was something that they would have to disagree on, because Shinichi didn't find himself so sure about that. It was an impression that he had since before he had stepped into the room with her, but doing so had only made it stronger.

Heiji of the past would probably be delighted to know that he hoped he was the one who would turn out to be right.

"Why Hattori?" Shinichi finally asked, breaking the silence with something he had wanted to ask from the very start. There was no room for beating around the bush here. "Why out of all people, did you pick Hattori?"

"Because he had talent." Merlot said simply. "I saw that much with my own two eyes. If there was anything holding him back, it was his unwillingness to actually kill people."

"So you fixed that?" Shinichi asked, nearly wanting to spit out the words.

"Yes, you could say that." Merlot said, smiling at him. "Just as I thought, once I began to properly train him, he picked up on things rather quickly. I've trained many assassins in my day, but I must say, that Paikaru was probably my finest work yet. It's a shame he allowed himself to go soft, wasting all of that. But I suppose that's just all he was worth, in the end."

"But I wonder too, how long that will last."

"It will." Shinichi told her, resolution in his voice. "If _Hattori_ ," not caring how much it would give her what he wanted, he made damn sure to emphasize his name, "...didn't kill you, it'll last."

"You speak with the confidence of someone who has never killed a person." Merlot said, her gaze only now meeting with that of his own. "It's not such a simple matter to get away from, this sort of life."

"He will." Shinichi insisted. "I know Hattori."

"You say that, but in truth, I'm the one who has known him longer, aren't I?" Merlot asked- and at that, he _did_ bristle, for as much as he wanted to protest, he knew it was true. She'd clearly done her homework, if she knew that much. "Even if his memories do return, he'll always remain the pupil that I created."

"You didn't even know _Paikaru_." Shinichi told her, his back straightening. "Don't assume that you can know Hattori as well."

"Then, let's make a bet, Kudo-san." Merlot said, leaning back in her chair, crossing one leg over the other. "There's very little doubt that I'm going to be executed, once tried. Let's see... let's say that if Paikaru manages to avoid killing anyone until then, it will be your win. And if he fails to, well..."

"I'm not going to take that bet." Shinichi said, rising to his feet. He'd gotten what he had came here for, if not as much as he'd hoped for, and sensed that he would get nothing else out of this woman other than whatever it was that _she_ wanted from him- and that he wouldn't allow. "I'm not going to insult Hattori like that."

"Oh?" Merely arching a brow, Merlot looked up at him, her smile not fading. "It sounds to me you're insulting him a lot more by not accepting it. But I suppose there is wisdom in not taking a losing a hand."

To that, Shinichi had nothing to say. There was no answer he could give her, he sensed, that would not in some way be playing entirely into her hands. Even silence was allowing her to have more from him than he wanted to give, but it was far better than any of the alternatives.

He was starting to understand how it was that she could have manipulated Heiji as she had. Someone as straightforward and honest as Hattori Heiji was, not to mention with the memory loss as a factor... he never even stood a chance.

* * *

"She's a hard one to talk to, isn't she?"

"I take it you've already had a chance to then, Jodie-san." Allowing his shoulders to slump, Shinichi cast a half smile in Jodie's direction. There was sympathy in her voice, for that, he was grateful. "It went almost exactly as I expected, but there's limits to what one can prepare themselves for."

"The more you deal with this type, the easier it gets." Jodie noted. "Well, at the very least, you can rest assured that we won't give her any chances to escape. I'd very much like to fully put this Organization business behind me, and I'm sure that's even more true for you, _Cool Kid_."

"I haven't heard you call me that in forever." Shinichi noted, his smile growing a bit stronger. "I'm not exactly a child anymore, Jodie-san."

If he had to be honest, he was glad that it was Jodie who had come to pick him up, rather than Akai. While he respected the FBI investigator's talent, between the two of them, he was the one more difficult to deal with when it came to things like this. Especially with things still up in the air as they were- it would have only made for a very awkward, very silent time.

"I suppose that's true." Jodie admitted. "It seems that in the time between us last seeing each other, you've become a splendid detective. Not that I ever doubted that you would. You've always been talented."

At the way he flinched at the word, Jodie could only frown. "Did I say something wrong?"

"No, it's not that." Shinichi said, shaking his head. It wasn't as if she could have heard any of their conversation, so it wasn't as if she knew. "It's just... she called Hattori _talented_. If I have to be honest, that bothers me."

"Talented?" Jodie blinked, the gears quickly working in her head, her eyes narrowing. Since he had only gone over the story in brief with them, she knew that there were plenty of parts that had been left out- what he had told them was only what he felt it was vital for them to know. "In _that_ way?"

"In that way." Shinichi repeated, nodding his head. "I asked her, why she targeted Hattori in the first place. That's what she told me. I already knew that much, but... hearing it straight from her was something that I wasn't half as ready for as I thought I was."

"I guess in some respects, maybe I am still a child." Shinichi admitted.

"I don't think that necessarily makes you a child. Anyone would be bothered to hear something like that about someone they think of as a friend." Jodie told him. "And I can't say that I agree with her sentiment either, though I admit that I don't know Hattori-kun as well as you do, Kudo-kun."

"Neither do I." Shinichi said. "But it also remains a fact that because I drew him into the fight, he ended up catching her interest. If it hadn't been for that... well, he would probably lived the past five years of his life normally, with his own name. I don't think I can run away from that blame."

"Kudo-kun-" Jodie began, before she let out a sigh, closing her mouth. Somehow, she got the feeling that she wasn't the first person to try and convince him otherwise- and if even those much closer to him couldn't manage it, then she doubted that she would do any good. "I'll do what I can for him, for Hattori-kun. James and I will."

"You've already contacted him?" Shinichi asked. "That was fast."

"With a development this big, it's only natural that I would." Jodie told him. "I did tell him about Hattori-kun's situation too. He said he would look into a few matters, but for the moment, I don't know anything else. At the very least, I can tell you that arrangements to expedite both Gin and Merlot to America have already begun."

"I see." Shinichi said, nodding his head. "That's good."

Sensing that she hadn't quite told him what he wanted to hear the most, Jodie nevertheless felt the need to tell him something. "Once I know anything more about Hattori-kun, I'll tell you right away. Until then, as long as he doesn't intend to run away, Shu and I have no intention of apprehending him. From the sound of it, he needs time to recover anyways. We both will be stopping by to see him for ourselves though, later today, if that would be possible."

"Sorry, Jodie-san. And thank you." Shinichi said, feeling a slight bit of relief at her words. "As for your request, I think that should work. I did already inform him that the two of you might visit today, so he's probably more than ready. I know you probably have your fair share of work that you need to get done, so I'd rather not hold you up, after asking for such a big favor as I have. I won't give you cause to regret it, though."

"I don't think you'd be so desperate if I would." Jodie noted.

"Do I really seem that desperate?" Shinichi asked, blinking a little. "I was hoping for a more collected impression."

"When it comes to our loved ones, it's only natural to be a bit desperate." Jodie noted. "I'm sure that Hattori-kun counts himself as lucky to have you, Kudo-kun."

"It's not just me he has." Shinichi said, a faint smile on his face. "To be honest, if it was just me, I don't think he'd be sticking around, injured or otherwise."

"For that Toyama girl, then?" Jodie asked.

"Of course." Shinichi said, closing his eyes. "He loves her, after all."

* * *

Akai Shuichi was waiting for them at the hospital.

He supposed he should count himself grateful that he hadn't gone to visit Heiji on his own, having an awful feeling about how such an encounter would have turned out. Briefly, he found himself wondering if he knew anything of Rye, before concluding that he must have, seeing the bitter feelings that Gin held towards the once mole.

He couldn't help but wonder if once he was through with him, Gin had planned to turn Paikaru on Akai. He doubted that he would be an easy man to kill though, seeing as he had already managed to escape death once. And while he himself had been instrumental in that, it was not a plan that would have worked out in the end if everyone involved hadn't done exactly what they had needed to do.

Even Gin, in a sense.

"Jodie." Akai's gaze slid towards them, taking note of his fellow investigator first. "Kudo-kun. I've been waiting."

"Not too long, I hope." Shinichi noted. He had to wonder if he'd so much as bothered to go and visit his sister- he wouldn't have many more chances to, seeing as she was leaving to return to Tokyo in a few hours. Ai and the Professor had already left, in the company of Kaito, the former not wanting to be in the same city as Gin for much longer, however confined he was.

He'd asked her, just once, if she wanted to go and meet Gin for herself, to bring some closure to everything. Ai had rejected him, however, claiming that it was for the best that he continued to remain unaware that Haibara Ai existed, just in case something went wrong. That too, was likely the reason that she was living the city so soon, returning to what was now once again her safe haven.

"Not at all." Akai said simply. "I tried to visit him myself, but the young woman with the ribbon refused to let me in."

Making a mental note to both thank Kazuha for that later, Shinichi briefly blinked at Akai's description of her none the less. Kazuha hadn't worn a ribbon in her hair since her college years, and she certainly hadn't been when he'd seen her last. In between now and then, something must have possessed her to tie it up once more- perhaps she thought that by going back to her previous hairstyle, it would serve to jog Heiji's memories more.

He'd ask about it later, but for the moment, it wasn't that important.

"She's pretty protective of him." Shinichi noted. "I don't think she wants to let anyone in that she doesn't know."

"I see." Akai merely noted, his expression barely shifting. "So that would be the rumored childhood friend of his."

"That's her alright." Shinichi said, glancing between the two FBI agents, letting out a slight sigh. "Well, since you're both already here, I suppose we might as well go up and see him. Provided the doctor isn't with him at the moment."

"We can wait if they are." Jodie noted. "Before anything else, he's a patient right now."

"Thanks." Shinichi told her. "From the sound of it, the doctor doesn't want him to move around too much, but who knows how long he'll listen. Hattori was never much of one for staying in one place for hours on end. I get the impression that's only gotten even worse."

"Were his injuries that serious?" Jodie asked, following behind him into the hospital proper. Akai lingered behind them, for a moment longer, before he fell into step behind them.

"He was in critical condition there for awhile. The doctors say that he's making quick improvement, though." Shinichi told them. "That's part of the reason why I held off on talking to the two of you about him. I wanted to wait until his condition was more stable."

"Well, with injuries that serious, even if he makes an attempt to run away, it's unlikely he'll get far." Akai noted.

Shinichi was fully aware that he hadn't said that to make him bristle, but nevertheless, he did. It took a fair share of willpower to prevent himself from pivoting sharply on his heel, informing him that Heiji would never do something like that. Speaking with Merlot must have bothered him more than he had thought, if the comment had gleaned that much of a reaction from him- especially because he knew that it wasn't entirely an unfounded concern.

From the perspective of an outsider, Heiji really did have no reason to stick around. Even if a deal could be arranged with the FBI, he had far more to lose from it, than he would have to gain. If he were to flee, even they would have difficulty tracking him down. For someone who had expressed a desire for freedom, the latter was more logical.

Instead, Shinichi settled for drawing in his breath, keeping his voice level and calm. "He won't."

"Mm." The rather noncommittal response that he received from the man was entirely within what Shinichi expected. As he thought, he really would be the more difficult of the two to deal with, even if between them, he owed him all the more.

Not that he liked to view it that way. He hadn't come up with that plan so Akai could owe him one later- he'd done it because the FBI needed him, and because having an unexpected ace up their sleeves would be useful in the fight against the Organization.

He'd been right. He could only hope that he'd be right about this, too.

* * *

"What, so ya actually know this shady lookin' guy, Kudo-kun?"

"That I do." Shinichi told her, having to fight to keep his expression neutral. Shady looking guy wasn't a bad description of Akai Shuichi- the first time that he had seen him, he'd thought much the same as well. "These are Akai Shuichi and Jodie Starling, members of the FBI. They're here to visit Hattori."

Come to think of it, this really was the first time Kazuha had ever met Akai. In light of that, she couldn't blame her for trying to chase him away from Heiji's hospital room.

"What, he's with the FBI? Why didn't he just say so?" Kazuha asked, folding her arms in front of her chest. She really had tied her hair back up in a ribbon, Shinichi noted, not missing the way that it frayed slightly at the edges. It must have been a rather old one- come to think of it, her home wasn't far from here, she'd probably taken the chance to go back and get it.

He wondered if she'd spoken with her father yet, or her mother, for that matter. That too, he would save for later.

"Would you have let him in if he'd told you?" Shinichi asked, merely arching a brow.

"No." Kazuha said firmly, shooting what he was entirely certain was a warning look towards the man. "But since he's here with ya, Kudo-kun, I guess I'll let him pass."

"Thanks, Kazuha. Hopefully we won't take up too much of your time. How's he doing?" Shinichi asked. "If he's resting, we can come back later."

"Now's fine." Kazuha said, stepping aside. "But do try an' be careful ta not do anythin' that might excited him too much. Doctor says he seems a bit feverish."

Dimly wondering how much of that had to do with Kazuha's constant presence in his room, Shinichi decided to instead bite his tongue on such a comment. Instead, he merely flashed Kazuha a smile, nodding his head. "We'll be careful, don't worry. Akai-san and Jodie-san both just want to have a few words with him."

"Then, please do pardon us." Jodie spoke up. As she entered into the room behind Shinichi, her gaze flickered back towards Akai, sensing that the young woman's words had largely been meant for him. If he was anything like the young man that she remembered, she could understand why- the two of them did have rather clashing personalities.

"I see ya brought some people with ya, Kudo-han."

The voice, Jodie thought, at the very least, was familiar. Narrowing her eyes as she felt the hair on the back of her neck prickle upwards, she drew in a breath, preparing herself for what was likely to be a difficult, if not important conversation. She really did want to help him- but that all depended on what kind of person this Paikaru was.

On guard, wary, but perhaps both of those things were to be expected. Not only would they both be strangers to him, one of them a true stranger to their core, but they were also members of the FBI, who had been chasing the tail of the Organization for years, even after it had largely fallen to pieces.

"Like I promised, Jodie Starling and Akai Shuichi from the FBI." Shinichi told him. "I would have called ahead to give you more time to prepare, but Akai-san was already waiting here when we arrived."

"No, I kinda figured it was somethin' like that when Kazuha told me that she chased away someone from the door." Heiji admitted, leaning back in his bed. He'd been propped upright, and was trying to look as composed as anyone could manage while they were wearing a hospital gown.

And doing rather well at it, Shinichi couldn't help but note.

"So, what do two investigators from the FBI want from me?" Heiji asked, glancing between the both of them. "Though I think I can make a few guesses."

"We heard about your story from Kudo-kun here, Hattori-kun." Jodie spoke up, taking a step forward. As she did so, the feeling of wariness grew tighter around the young man, watching to make sure that she didn't take a step out of line. He was injured and unarmed, but clearly not helpless, she noted.

"So ya came ta speak with me yerselves? I'm flattered." Heiji remarked, arching a brow. "I'm told I know one of ya. Or _knew_ , rather, seein' as I don't so much anymore. I'm guessin' that'd be ya, blonde neechan."

"That would be correct." Jodie said. "But not very well, I will add. Still, I must apologize to you, Hattori-kun. Had we searched for you harder after what happened on that boat, perhaps all of this could have been avoided. You were under our care, and we failed you."

"So what, yer gonna let me go because of that?" Cracking a joke was not what one anyone expected in this situation- and yet, that was what he found himself doing. "That's might kind of ya."

"I'm afraid it's not quite that simple." Though his serious tone left them wondering for a moment if Akai had really perceived the joke as a joke, a moment's thought lead them to the conclusion that Akai hadn't missed this, only had chosen it as a bridge into the conversation. "I've read up quite a bit on you in preparation for this meeting, Paikaru, and I must say, your record is rather extensive."

At the mention of his codename, Heiji's expression briefly became unreadable. "I thought Kudo-han would have told ya already, but I don't go by that name anymore."

"My mistake." Akai said simply. "It was Hattori-kun, wasn't it?"

"That's right." Heiji said, leaning a bit forward, his brow furrowing together. " _Hattori Heiji._ Don't ya forget it!"

There was a bitter irony in those words- one that they all recognized, but not one that any dared to comment on.

"I'll be sure to keep that in mind." Akai said simply, all but brushing the words aside. "But the fact of the matter is, unless there's value to us, there's a limit to what exactly we can do in this situation, even if we do have some form of responsibility for it. And of course, it depends on the person in question, and if they truly intend to repent for their crimes or not."

"Shu's right." Jodie noted, ignoring the way the young man's brow arched at the nickname. "We'll do what we can to prevent the worst, Hattori-kun, but ultimately, the one who will have the final say is our boss, not us."

"Well, seein' as the worst is my neck on the choppin' block, I'd say that's already a pretty good deal." Heiji noted, shrugging his shoulders, trying to play the whole thing off as if it were no big deal. "But ta think that ya even have friends inside the FBI, Kudo-han. I gotta say, I'm glad I'm not yer enemy."

Only dimly realizing that might have been the wrong thing to say after it had slipped out, Heiji flinched. They could have been enemies- if they had never crossed paths this way, he might have ended up ending his life before he even had the chance to speak with him. The fact that that was a very real possibility had probably never left Shinichi's mind.

For his part, however, Shinichi took the comment without flinching. Instead he merely closed his eyes, giving the Osakan something of a distant smile, knowing that he hadn't said it with the intent of bringing up the worst. The fact that he was allowing himself to be somewhat careless with his words was proof that regardless of how wary he might seem, in some respects, his guard was actually down.

"Same here, Hattori." Shinichi said simply, opening his eyes, wondering if he averted them a bit too quickly, opting to direct his gaze towards Jodie and Akai. "What did James say the prospects were?"

"He didn't say anything when I called him before." Jodie told him, shaking her head. "I think he was waiting partially on our assessment."

"Well? Did I pass?" Heiji couldn't help but ask, forcing a quick grin on his face. "At the very least, I can assure ya that it's my _intention_ ta repent fer what I've done, if yer offerin' me that chance. It's not like I wanted ta become an assassin in the first place."

"You could have run away." Akai noted.

"Do ya really think that I had that choice?" Heiji asked, leveling his gaze with him. "By the time I realized somethin' was wrong, it was pretty much already too late. Besides, that old woman would sooner see me _dead_ than free, seein' as she tried ta _kill me_ once she realized that I wasn't goin' ta come back to her."

"Not much in point in runnin' away either, if I don't have any place ta run _ta_." Heiji added.

"And is that what Kudo-kun was to you?" Akai asked, returning the held gaze. "An means of escape?"

"At first, yeah." Heiji said simply, before letting out a snort. "Never thought I would have actually turned out ta _know_ the guy." There was a slight pause there, as he seemed to correct himself. "... _known_."

"He did actually pretty much let me capture him." Shinichi noted. "And the person that he was sent to Tokyo to kill in the first place is very much still alive. That was how Merlot knew that something was wrong in the first place, and why she came out all this way to find him."

For the moment, he would leave out the part of the girl whose life he had spared. He didn't think bringing up the fact that he had spared her because of her close resemblance to Kazuha was going to affect Akai's thoughts very much. It probably wouldn't _hurt_... but that probably wasn't something that Heiji wanted discussed with people who really were complete strangers to him.

He didn't even know if he'd breached the subject with _Kazuha_ yet.

"I see." Jodie said. "You did mention something about that, before."

"Figured it couldn't hurt." Heiji said with a shrug. "Even if I couldn't cut a deal with the guy, I figured that I could escape easy enough."

It was probably for the best that he didn't voice that his originally planned method of escape had involved _murder_ \- even if his identity had already been compromised, the less traces he left behind, the better off he was. It was a thought that brought with it considerable guilt- and one that he knew that even if he didn't say it out loud, everyone probably realized anyways.

"Well, now you might be able to cut a deal with us, Hattori-kun." Jodie told him, breaking the somewhat awkward, if not brief, silence that had fallen over the room. "Once I know something more, I'll be sure to contact you. The both of you, directly."

"Then, I'm lookin' forward ta that, blonde neechan~!"

* * *

"I was startin' ta get the feelin' they'd never leave."

"What, ya jealous?" Letting the tension wash out of his body, a note of teasing slipped out from him. For some reason, when it was just the two of them, he found himself able to relax. Maybe it was because they were childhood friends, or maybe it was because of something more- but that was something he was going to take his time figuring out. As Kazuha slipped into the room, he slipped down, his head coming to rest on his pillow once more. Between meeting with his father and the FBI, today had been a busy day, even though he'd barely left his bed.

He was already itching to, but even he wasn't about to go against the doctor's orders so soon. He wasn't particularly fond of the idea of accidentally opening up his injuries again. He liked the idea of Kazuha getting mad at him about it even _less_.

"An' what if I said I was?" Kazuha asked, a faint smile tracing her face at the way he flustered at that remark. Heiji being flustered was still a rather novel concept for her, and to be honest, it wasn't one that she particularly minded. It was, however, something that she would have to keep in mind, so she didn't actually _kill_ the guy by being too nice to him.

Considering his limit seemed to be pretty low, that might prove difficult.

"So? What did they say?" Kazuha asked, taking a seat on the foot of his bed. "Kudo-kun was seein' 'em out, so I didn't get a chance ta talk ta him about it."

"Nothin' much." Heiji told her, shaking his head. "Just that they were in contact with their boss or somethin' like that about the matter. Guess they're at least willin', which is probably more than I deserve."

"Don't say that, Heiji!" Kazuha said, the bed creaking as she leaned closer to him. "I won't allow that kind of talk!"

"It's true though." Heiji told her, letting out a loud yawn. "I don't think my victims would agree either."

"Just the fact that yer even thinkin' about them is proof enough that I'm the one in the right here." Kazuha said, her voice resolute. "But it's true that ya shouldn't forget them either, or what ya've done, so I guess yer not entirely wrong either, Heiji."

"See?" Heiji asked, closing his eyes. "I don't plan too, though."

"Good." Kazuha said, nodding her head. Scooting a little closer to them, Kazuha placed a hand over his own, feeling his fingers twitch underneath the contact. It wasn't due to being flustered- but rather, because of something else. Though she sensed he was at his most relaxed when she was around, it would seem that even that wasn't enough to undo what had been ground into him.

With time, perhaps.

"I met him, ya know."

"Who?" Kazuha asked, peering down at him. His eyes were still closed, his expression otherwise unreadable. "Akai-san?"

"No." Heiji said. "Hattori Heiji."

" _Yer_ Hattori Heiji." Kazuha pointed out, arching a brow. Maybe he actually needed to rest, because it seemed as if lack of sleep was getting to him. "In case ya forget."

"I haven't." Heiji said, peeking one eye open, a trace of a grin on his face. There was an edge to it that Kazuha couldn't quite place... something a bit melancholy, perhaps. "Not the current me, but the past me."

"Yer not makin' much sense, ya know." Kazuha noted.

"In my dreams." Heiji told her, closing both eyes once more. "Well, in the end, he was nothin' more than just a figment of my subconscious, if not a rather chatty one."

"That sounds like ya alright." Kazuha remarked. That made a bit more sense, if not a whole lot- but she might as well let him finish. "So? What did he say ta ya?"

"A lot of things." Heiji told her. "At first he resented me. Can't say I blame him. Said I didn't any right ta his name."

"It's yer name." Kazuha simply stated.

"I guess it is. Back then, I hadn't really accepted it just yet." Heiji told her, leaving out the part where he still hadn't quite accepted it, even now. He was getting used to it- just a bit. But when that man had used his codename... as he thought, in the end, that still was what felt the most natural to him.

It would change, with time. At least, he hoped it would.

"An'?" Kazuha asked. "What else did he say? The old Heiji, I mean."

"Said he was surprised I'd stick my neck out like I had." Heiji told her. "Fair point, seein' as I surprised even myself."

"Back when Merlot appeared the first time?" Kazuha asked.

"That's right." Heiji told her, turning his head slightly. He already knew that even if he fell asleep, he wouldn't see the specter of what once was any longer. He was no longer needed. "The third time..."

 _"I'm leavin' the job of bein' Hattori Heiji up ta you now, Paikaru. Give it yer best shot, come what may."_

"The third time?" Kazuha asked.

"The third time, he left everythin' up ta me." Heiji finally told her, opening his eyes, giving her something of an awkward smile. "Well, though I imagine I'll make a rather lackluster Hattori Heiji, at least fer awhile. I'll give it my best though, Kazuha, so as not ta let ya an' everyone else down."

As well as himself.

"Well, in order ta do that, I'll need ta face my memories." Heiji said. "Even if I almost don't want ta. But I guess I've been runnin' away from them fer long enough already."

"Ya wouldn't let us down, Heiji. Ya've proven that more than enough." Kazuha told him, wondering if that Haibara girl had told him after all. From the sound of it, she had, at least a little. "But if ya want ta face them, I'll be here with ya."

"Thanks, Kazuha." Closing his eyes once more, already feeling his body starting to succumb to the pull of sleep, Heiji could only marvel that he actually felt comfortable around her enough in order to do so. "Fer everythin'."

"I should be the one thankin' ya, Heiji." Kazuha said, her tone growing soft. From the way that the bed creaked, and her hand had slipped away from his, he knew that she had gotten up. It felt almost a bit lonely, really. "Fer comin' home."

The kiss that she planted on his forehead not only caught him off guard, but was enough to completely jolt him awake.

* * *

It was several days before they had any kind of answer.

Several long days, full of waiting. Both for the answer to what would happen next, and for Heiji to recover. By the time that Jodie returned to the hospital, Heiji was nearly well enough to be discharged.

She didn't come with handcuffs in hand, which was probably a good sign. She also came alone- Akai had left, to accompany Gin and Merlot back to America. They had received word that their plane had touched down there with no problems only the day before, and it had caused everyone to let out a small breath of relief.

That had been one thing, at least, off of their plates.

As for the other...

In the end, it was just the four of them there. Hakuba had work to do elsewhere, but it was probably for the best that he wasn't present, Shinichi found himself thinking. Even if he had been the one who had brought this all to his attention in the first place, in the end, though he had seemed to cut Heiji _some_ slack in the end, he had ultimately never accepted it.

Someone had to, he had said.

That left the four of them. Himself and Heiji, of course, but Kazuha and Ran as well. He'd thought about bringing Heizo in, but the man had told him quite firmly that the next time he came to visit, it would be with his wife.

He suspected the main reason he was holding off in both telling her the truth, and bringing her for a visit, was because he was afraid her overzealous indulgence might end up opening Heiji's wounds back up. He'd know best, so Shinichi kept his lips sealed.

It wasn't until everyone had sat down that Jodie finally spoke, drawing in a long breath. From her expression alone, it was hard to gauge what the answer had been- but she appeared to be rather serious.

"We have a proposal."


	21. Heiji

**AN** : Well it's been quite the long journey, but here we are, at the final chapter of this story. I've said most of what I wanted to say about it ending in the previous chapter's authors note, so I won't go into too much detail here this time. It's sad to see it go in a lot of ways, but every story has it's time, and now is this one's time. To those of you who have been with me from the start, especially those of you who kept leaving reviews throughout, I thank you for reading and sticking with me!

There's no next time, but perhaps I'll see you again in the future, with another story?

* * *

 **Phantasmal Black**

 **Chapter Twenty One**

 **Heiji**

* * *

"I've spotted the target."

"Understood. Permission to move in to secure granted. And remember- we're only seeking to disable them."

"Geez, from the way say that, ya make it sound like I've had cause ta let ya down before, Jodie-han." Heedless of the tension in the air, a hint of a smile strayed onto his face, one hand hovering over the earpiece in his left ear. "I made a deal, didn't I? I'm not about ta go an' break it."

There was a short pause on the other end, before a faint crackle of static came through, the FBI agent's reply with it. "Just consider it a precaution, Hattori-kun. Tonight's target might specialize in sniping, but reports from other agencies indicate that he's rather skilled at hand to hand combat as well."

"Not ta mention, he's the type who probably carries a handgun on him somewhere too." Letting out a short sigh, Hattori Heiji could only lean back a bit, not quite taking his eyes off the person that he had marked. "An' ya won't even let me so much as hold one."

"That was part of the deal." Jodie remarked. "We can't exactly supply a former assassin with weapons. We've gone over this before."

"Awfully stingy with yer employees." Heiji said, clear jest in his voice.

"Officially, you don't work for us." Jodie reminded him. "In so far as the record is concerned, you don't exist."

"Yes, yes, I know, I know." Nodding his head, Heiji let out another sigh, longer this time. Taking a moment to work out the stiffness his neck and shoulders, the edge of his faint smile changed, to something more fierce. "Let's just round this bastard up so I can get back home. Bein' a dead man is no excuse fer missin' my best friend's weddin'. Seein' as I got a chance ta go, I'm not about ta blow it."

 _"We have a proposal."_

It had been five months now since he had heard those words first spoken. It had been Jodie who had laid out the terms of the aforementioned proposal to them- and he had to admit, it hadn't been what he had been expecting, in a number of ways. For what he had done, he expected to be tried and locked up, but it would seem that they had come up with another solution.

And if in the end, he was still being used as a tool because of it, he didn't mind much. Though he couldn't call what he had obtained true freedom, not with the device around his ankle tracking his every move, but it was far more than he had ever expected to get. And above all, tool though he might still be, at least his new job didn't involve him killing people.

The exact opposite, really.

Though as much as he had declared with confidence that he'd never failed her before, there had been a few brief moments in the past when he had come pretty close. It couldn't be helped- not when who he was dealing with here were other assassins, all of whom had far less qualms about killing him than he did them. But while he might have broken a few limbs along the way, he'd held fast to his end of the deal- to not kill.

It was ironic in a way. A former assassin used to catch those who were still active in the trade- but at the same time, he couldn't think of a better way to repent for his sins, other than rotting away in a prison cell. And given the choice between the two, he'd take this over that pretty much any day.

Even if it meant that in the eyes of the world, Hattori Heiji was still very much a dead man. If he didn't exist, then there was no one to charge with what he had done. At times, he had to wonder if the FBI was really okay, cutting a deal like this, remorseful and unlikely to kill again as he was. Still, even as he said that, he could understand why- there was no one who understood an assassin better than another assassin.

Not to mention, if he was the one putting his life on the line, they didn't need to risk any of their agents. In that sense, he was more of a tool than ever, but at the very least, he was being used by the right people this time.

In a way, he felt as if this would appease his past self as well. He might not be a detective, but there was something almost vaguely familiar in the way the gears turned, when he was searching for someone whose face they had no knowledge of. The signs he was searching for were different- things he would have likely never noticed before without experience, but he couldn't deny that a certain level of deduction was involved. It was a dangerous job, to be sure, but he was no stranger to that kind of danger.

At least some good would come out of it.

"Sorry, for calling you out this suddenly." The reply he received from Jodie was a bit softer in tone than those previous. "The tip was just as sudden. Since it's a sniper this time, I was planning on calling on Shu, but he's in the middle of an investigation of his own that he just can't get out of."

"Well, I'd say ya owe me one, but that's not how things work around here." Heiji half joked, rising to his feet, making sure to stick to the shadows as he moved. His already quiet voice dropped several levels as he closed in, peering over the edge of the rooftop down at the sniper below. "I'll contact ya next after I've apprehended them. In the meantime, I'm sure I can rely on ya ta keep the target's target away from the window, _big ass_ though it is."

"This _is_ an official channel, you know." Jodie noted. "But roger. I won't let him get a clear shot in."

" _Roger_ ~." Switching off his communications device for the moment, Heiji pulled his hand away from his ear. It was a testament to just how focused tonight's target was that he hadn't even taken notice of him. That was the difference between a sniper and an assassin like him, he guessed- to that guy, the whole world must have shrunken down right now to just what was seen in his scope. He didn't have the presence of mind to focus on what was on the roof across from him, not when they blended in so well with the darkness as he did.

He might not know how to snipe, but he did know what to watch for- and therefore, where the most likely places to snipe from were. Though he'd misjudged the exact rooftop, he'd been able to determine that it would be likely one of the two- and had opted to wait on the slightly taller one. He'd guessed wrong, but well...

...from this distance, jumping between them really wouldn't be a problem. With, granted, a decent enough running start- he'd nearly lost his life twice now, he wasn't really all that eager to find out if the third time was _truly_ the charm, as the saying went. If he didn't end up losing his life to a man who had the advantage of being armed, then he was pretty sure a fall of twenty stories actually _would_ kill him this time.

Not that he was interested in dying. After all, he had a wedding to get to after this.

It was kind of funny to think about, really- him, going to a wedding. When Shinichi had brought it up five months ago, though he had expressed interest in it, in reality, he didn't think that he would have ever actually have been invited for real. Though he supposed in truth he hadn't actually been- when more than half of the attendants thought he was dead, there was no way he could show his face in a place like that.

While that kept them from officially inviting him, and certainly kept them from making him a part of the formal wedding party, it didn't stop them from inviting him to watch the ceremony- just not from where anyone could see him. Luckily, he happened to be rather good at that sort of thing.

Besides, if he knew Shinichi, like he was starting to know him again, he'd be amazed if that guy's wedding went off without a hitch. He seemed to have a knack of getting into trouble that was second only to that of his own- and since the guy had gone so far for him, the least he could do was ensure that his wedding went off without a hitch.

That was what best friends did, right?

(Probably. He still wasn't quite sure about that sort of thing just yet.)

* * *

"Ya nervous, Ran?"

"...a bit." Even without her honest admission, the nervous smile that Mouri Ran gave to her friend was confession enough. "It's strange though. I wasn't nervous at all up until now, but seeing the hall in person, all decorated and ready... you know?"

"Unfortunately, I don't." Planting her hands on her hips, Toyama Kazuha allowed herself a moment to let out a quick sigh- before she dashed away such feelings, returning her friend's smile, brighter and with more confidence. "But really, I'm happy fer ya, Ran. I know that ya've been waitin' fer this a long time."

"Has Hattori-kun still not come around yet?" Ran asked. "Come to think of it, I've so busy the past two months that I've hardly had a chance to ask about it. I thought the two of you were making progress?"

"Progress, huh?" Kazuha asked, her sigh this time longer and deeper than before.

It would be a lie to say that there _hadn't_ been some, on all fronts. They were, technically, living together, though she honestly couldn't claim that the two of them were quite dating yet. It was too soon, she told herself- even as every day that passed made it more and more clear to her that in spite of everything, she was still very much head over heels in love with Hattori Heiji.

And for once, it was easy as pie to tell he felt the same way about her too. A little _too_ easy, even.

"It's kind of hard ta make progress when the person yer tryin' ta make it with can barely do so much as take a compliment." Kazuha told her honestly. "It's cute in it's own way, but it does kinda limit what ya can do. Not ta mention the reason why he's like that in the first place... I'm amazed that he doesn't have nightmares."

He might, for all she knew- they lived together, but they didn't room together. She'd learned the hard way that waking up Heiji on a good day was an ill advised idea at best, and at worst... well, the less said about the worst the better. But though there were things that he was open to her about, what his subconscious mind was showing him these days wasn't one of them.

Unless, of course, it pertained to a memory.

"I'm sure that Hattori-kun is doing his best in his own way though." Ran said. "I think we all knew that this part wouldn't be that easy."

"He is." Kazuha admitted, giving her a shrug of her shoulders. "I just kind of thought that when he started to remember things, he'd open up a little bit more, but that hasn't really happened. Sometimes it feels as if there's more of a wall between us now more than ever."

"I already think he's plenty open with you, Kazuha." Ran noted, giving her friend a smile. "More than he is with anyone else. You just need to give him time."

"Really? I'd say he's plenty open with Kudo-kun too." Kazuha added, a somewhat sour expression crossing her face.

"Really?" Ran asked, blinking a little. "Sometimes I get the feeling that Hattori-kun is at his most guarded around Shinichi, though. It feels like he's trying too hard not to slip up around him, especially now that his memories have started to slowly come back."

"Really?" Kazuha asked, it now her turn to blink in surprise, considering it for a moment. "Come ta think of it, ya might be right. He doesn't see them often, especially his father, but when he does, he's like that around his parents too. It makes it almost feel like they're a burden to him, sometimes. His memories, that is."

They had been coming back- in bits and pieces, here and there. Sometimes they would come completely out of the blue, but more often than not, it was because something was there to jog them. He still had a long way until he truly remembered everything, but he had been making steady progress on that front- bringing relief to almost everyone around him.

Except to himself, it seemed. Even though it was what she wanted, in a way, Kazuha almost couldn't help but feel bad- it seemed that with every snippet of memory that returned, Heiji found something new in it to grapple with. As much as she would like to talk to him about it, he'd been rather close mouthed about the whole thing to her, and in the end, she didn't really know how to bring it up.

It felt a bit like a rift had grown between the two of them, and while there were days when she couldn't help but find it discouraging, she was determined to one day bridge it. They were friends, in the end- and just because they hadn't been part of the other's life for the past five years didn't mean that they couldn't make up for lost time.

"But I guess in the end, it wasn't like we weren't expectin' that much." Kazuha admitted, closing her eyes. "I want ta support him with that, but he doesn't talk ta me much about it. Honestly, of all his old habits, why did he have ta keep _that_ one?"

"Plus that _job_ of his! Sure, I'm grateful that he's not in prison right now, but I can't stand just waitin' around fer news every time. At this rate, even if he had nine lives like a cat, it wouldn't nearly be enough!"

The frustration in her friend's voice strangely brought a smile to her face- and Ran couldn't help but let a faint chuckle escape from her. It was the fondness that was laced into it, even as she levied complaints, that made it clear as day just how much she cared and worried about the person she was talking about.

"Ah, sorry, Ran!" Snapping her eyes open, an almost sheepish expression crossed Kazuha's face. "Here we are on the eve of yer big day, an' all I can talk about is myself an' that _idiot_. Now, let's get back ta checkin' things over! I want ta make sure that everythin' is perfect tomorrow!"

"Whether or not Hattori-kun makes it back in time?" Ran ventured, watching the faint tint of pink creep into her friend's cheeks. For a moment, it almost felt as if they were high school girls again, teasing the other about their respective crush- it felt almost nostalgic, even though so much had changed since then, and in ways they never could have imagined.

If anything, she only wished that they could invite him properly to their wedding. But the number of people who knew that Hattori Heiji was alive was small, and when she had offered to trim down the number of people attending the ceremony so that he could come in proper fashion, he had turned her down. After all, she hadn't even told her parents about it- there was no way that she could invite him over them, he'd said.

But at least he was here, in the end. More for the sake of the young woman who puffed out her cheeks, giving her a rather intense stare in response to her teasing words than for herself.

"He should." Sensing that her friend was once again teasing her, Kazuha gave her something of a long look. "He said he was comin' in on a flight early this mornin', if everythin' works out tonight. Jodie-san promised me that she would call if anythin' went wrong."

"To Osaka?" Ran asked.

"No, Tokyo." Kazuha told her, shaking her head. "He said that he wanted ta come straight away after he got back. I don't think he intends on missin' it. Well, provided everythin' goes accordin' ta plan, he should arrive here in time. I was gonna go pick him up, though that's a surprise, so don't tell him."

"Is he going to be okay?" Ran asked, concern in her voice. "Hattori-kun doesn't do too well on long plane rides, does he?"

"Not at all." Kazuha said, shaking her head. "Well, he'll probably be fine. He always was the type who could get up an' go even when he hadn't had that much sleep. I don't really think that's change, but just in case, I'll probably bring some coffee with me. Otherwise I'll just have ta put up with his complaints about the store brand."

"Ah..." A rather understanding look crossed her face at the mention of coffee, an almost sympathetic note in her voice. "His taste in coffee really has gotten strange, hasn't it?"

"Less strange, an' more _painful_. I don't know how he can stand that stuff." Kazuha noted. "But don't worry about him, Ran. He was so excited about it the other day, so I'm sure that Heiji wouldn't dream of missin' this day fer the world, not fer any reason. It's just..."

Trailing off a little, Kazuha quickly shook her head. The fact that he wasn't invited as a proper guest wasn't Ran's fault- in the end, it was just another result of the deal that he had struck with the FBI. She wasn't willing to complain too much about it, since it kept him free, to a degree, but it certainly had it's inconveniences.

A wedding of their own was probably out for them, huh.

"...Shinichi really did want him as the best man, you know." All but sensing what her friend was thinking, Ran found her gaze straying up towards the altar, where she would tie the knot once and for all tomorrow afternoon. "But in the end, I guess we'll just have to put up with Hakuba-kun instead."

"Doesn't sound like a very fair trade off ta me." Kazuha quipped, before shaking her head, putting such negative thoughts out of it. "Now then, let's finish up here, Ran. We can't leave Sonoko-chan an' Sera-han waitin' all night!"

* * *

Long plane rides and him really didn't go together.

It had always been that way- in a certain sense of the world _always_. If it had been like this before five years ago or not, that he wasn't sure of yet, but as far back as he could clearly remember, he'd always hated them. Not only was there too much time to himself, alone with his own thoughts, but there were also far too many strangers around him, preventing him from so much as catching even a wink of sleep.

And after he had been up till late the previous night... as he thought, the lousy cup of coffee that he had gotten from the chain shop wasn't going to cut it. Their strongest brew, his foot. Well, it hadn't been the first time he'd gone without sleep like this, but it surely did leave him in a rather sour mood, especially-

"Heiji!"

Well, that voice perked him right up.

"What are ya doin' here, Kazuha?" Glancing around, half out of habit, to make sure that no one around would have noticed the mismatch by the name he had been called by, and the name on the fake passport he had shown the customs officials, Heiji felt his shoulders tense, before relaxing slightly. "I thought ya would be with Neechan fer sure."

"I wanted ta surprise ya." Kazuha told him frankly, forcing her expression not to falter as she watched that hard edge surface in his eyes briefly. "Plus, I thought that ya might want this." Lifting up the thermos that she had strapped to her shoulder, she looped it from around her arm. "Ya don't like store bought, do ya?"

"...ya got me there." A trace of a smile finally surfacing on his face, Heiji held his barely drunken cup forward. "Wanna trade?"

"Trade accepted." Taking the cup from him, Kazuha passed him the thermos, almost grateful to be rid of it. Even though it was tightly sealed within, she swore that she could still smell it's strong, bitter aroma. "I thought that ya might be a bit short on sleep."

"Ya caught me there too." Heiji noted, wasting no time in popping open the cap, barely noticing the way that Kazuha crinkled her nose out of the corner of his eye as he took a long drink from it. "That's more like it! I don't see how those chain places even stay in business, with coffee that weak."

"It's because most people have _normal_ taste buds." Kazuha told him simply, taking a sip of the coffee that she had received in exchange, making a slight face. It was a bit too bitter for her tastes, but compared to what Heiji was drinking... it was practically smooth. "So? How did it go? Seein' as yer here in one piece, I'm assumin' that ya got whoever it was that ya were sent after."

"Of course." A slight indignant note to his voice as he twisted the cap of the thermos back on, licking a bit of stray coffee from his lips, Heiji slung it's strap over his shoulder, alongside his bag. "Who do ya take me fer?"

It would probably be for the best that he avoided mentioning that he'd been nicked by a bullet. As he thought, the bastard was carrying a handgun on him as well. Thankfully, he'd only had the one, and once he had disarmed him of it, it turned that his rumored hand to hand combat skills weren't really that much to write home about.

"A reckless idiot." Kazuha remarked. "That part of ya hasn't changed in the least."

"I'd deny that if I could." Heiji told her. "But I told ya that I'd make it back in time, didn't I? When have I ever let ya down before, Kazuha?" Almost predicting her protest, he held up a finger, cutting her off. "-in the last five months, that is."

"...fine, ya got me there." Kazuha admitted, before she let out a sigh, a smile spreading out across her face as she did. _That_ was certainly one change that she didn't mind- though sometimes, she had to wonder exactly how long it would last. "Then shall we go? I know ya don't like crowded places, an' we do have a weddin' ta attend this afternoon an' all."

"...I'm not _that_ bad with them anymore." It was a protest that fell in deaf ears- especially because no sooner than he had made it, he felt himself stiffen, someone skirting too close to him for his own comfort. Unable to quite meet Kazuha's eyes, for a moment almost feeling like a child, he averted his gaze downwards. "...maybe just a little."

"Just a little, huh?" Kazuha noted, arching her brows.

"Just a little." Heiji repeated, this time with more confidence.

"I see." Kazuha said, a hint of a sly smile crossing her face. "Then, I take it ya don't want ta hold my hand or anythin' like that?"

"Who needs ta hold hands with ya?" His protest wasn't fooling anyone, not with the bright shade of red his cheeks turned. "Like I keep tellin' ya, I'm not a-!"

"...child?"

The shift in mood was something that Kazuha had come to learn well in the past five months, as well as the almost contemplative silence that accompanied it. She'd learned to use the furrow of his brow to determine what it was that he might be remembering, and to gauge his mood towards it.

This time, said furrow of his brow was accompanied by a rather puzzled expression, as if the wheels that were trying to turn were failing here and there. Tilting her head, she watched as Heiji's silence deepened, a hand straying up to his chin. On the surface, it almost appeared as if he had completely forgotten his surroundings, but she already knew that wasn't true. In a way, it was when he was distracted like this that he was most dangerous. Though that wasn't a thing that she liked to say, she couldn't deny what was true.

At the very least, they didn't come with headaches any longer. Bit by bit, the mental wall that had kept him from them all these years was slowly coming down.

"Heiji?" Kazuha ventured, watching him snap out of his thoughts at the sound of her voice, an awkward smile working it's way onto his face. Shifting on her feet, she couldn't help but hazard a guess as to what kind of memory it was that had left him so speechless. "Did ya remember somethin'?"

Giving her a curt nod of his head, a hand straying up behind his neck, Heiji's awkward smile only grew more so. "Yeah. It kinda doesn't make much sense though. I mean, Kudo-han's our age, right?"

A look of understanding dawning over Kazuha's face, she couldn't help but let a long sigh escape. This was why she'd said it would be for the best to just tell him about the whole Conan thing ahead of time- he was having enough trouble with his memories as it was, he didn't need to deal with ones that didn't quite seem to make sense! But in the end, the call had come down to Shinichi himself, and he had been rather stubborn in that area.

But well... nobody had said that she couldn't tell him all about it if he did start to remember on his own.

"About that, Heiji," Kazuha said, wondering if the amused twinkle in her eyes was half as obvious as she thought it was, "...why don't we talk about it in the car? It's a pretty long story, an' a pretty amusin' one at that!"

"...amusin'?"

"Yeah." Kazuha said, nodding her head. "Amusin'."

* * *

"Amusin', huh."

"Did you say something, Hattori?"

"Ah, no, it's nothin'!" Flashing a quick grin, for a moment, Heiji couldn't help but be grateful that he tended to smile awkwardly to begin with. Were it not for that rather incomprehensible flash of memory he'd had at the airport, he almost would have thought that Kazuha was pulling his leg about the whole thing- I mean, who ever heard of a human being _shrinking_?

Come to think of it, there was that strange child from the photo albums that no one had ever told him about. Now that he thought about it, there were an awful lot of pictures of him with that kid- and not so many with the one who had been his rival at the time. He'd thought it was strange at the time, but he never could have imagined...

Either way, he figured that his wedding day wasn't the best time to ask about it.

"But still, look at ya!" A much more natural smile taking place of the awkward one, Heiji hesitated for a brief moment, before he patted the detective on the shoulder. "Lookin' pretty handsome there, Kudo-han!"

"Thanks, Hattori." Rubbing his shoulder a little where it had been struck, wondering if he was aware of how much force he was using, Shinichi couldn't help but smile. "I'm glad that you could make it. How did it go, by the way?"

"Perfect, perfect." Nodding his head, Heiji folded his arms in front of his chest. "Guy didn't know what hit him. I left Jodie-han ta take care of the rest, though, so if ya wanted ta learn more about it, ya'd have ta ask her."

"No, that's fine." Shinichi said, shaking his head. In truth, he was still uneasy about it- the terms of the deal that had been struck in the end. It was far more than he had been expecting, but at the same time, he only wished that there was an alternative that put him in less danger. He'd already been through so much already, so to have him return to that kind of world again... it almost seemed cruel, seeing how he had wanted to escape from it in the first place.

Even the freedom that he had longed for wasn't really granted to him. He could probably escape from the ankle monitor if he really wanted to, but that didn't change the fact that he every move he made was being tracked. It felt like less than he deserved- while at the same time, he knew full well it was probably actually far _more_.

But if it bothered Heiji any, he wasn't letting it show.

"Still, I'm sorry, Hattori. I really wanted you to come to the ceremony itself, but..." Shinichi trailed off, shaking his head. "You didn't have to turn Ran's offer down, you know."

"Of course I did!" Heiji told him. "There's no way that I can let Neechan hold anythin' less than the ceremony of her dreams! Besides, it's not like I won't be watchin'. I already scoped out a perfect viewin' point!"

"As one would expect from an assassin."

" _Former_ assassin." Narrowing his eyes, Heiji peered behind Shinichi, his shoulders tensing. "What are ya doin' here, Blondie?"

"I _am_ the best man, in case you forget." Clearing his throat, Hakuba Saguru stepped through the doors of the dressing room, wondering when it was that Heiji had even slipped in here. He had heard that he would be coming, of course, but he hadn't been here when he'd stepped out of the room not even ten minutes ago.

"Yeah, I forget." Heiji said, his tone decidedly less cordial than it had been before. "Trouble with my memory an' all, ya know."

Sensing that he was trying to get a rise out of him, Hakuba merely sighed. What as he, a child? Either way, he wasn't about to give him what he wanted, and this wasn't what he came for either. All but brushing the former codename off, Hakuba turned his attention back towards Shinichi. "The ceremony will begin in exactly ten minutes, Kudo-san. I believe you should be making your way to the altar about now."

"Is it already that time?" Glancing up at the clock, Shinichi almost winched. "I didn't notice at all. Sorry, Hakuba, I'll be right there. And sorry, Hattori, it looks like we'll have to save the rest of our chat for later. You remember where the reception is, right?"

"That I _do_ remember." Heiji noted, taking a step back, casting a bright grin at Shinichi. "Be sure ta save me some cake, detective~!"

"Don't worry, Ran wouldn't forgive me if I forgot to feed you." Shinichi noted, pausing for a moment to make sure that his tuxedo was in order. Drawing in and letting out a deep breath, he couldn't help but think that compared to everything else that he had been through in his relatively short life, somehow _this_ was what managed to make him the most nervous.

If anything, he'd thought it would be the other way around.

"Then, ya'd better hurry up, Kudo-han. Ya wouldn't want ta miss yer own weddin'." Tucking his hands into his pockets, he didn't miss the slight way that Hakuba's gaze shifted towards them as he did. That guy really didn't change.

"Right." Nodding his head, Shinichi returned his smile. "Thanks, Hattori."

"Ah, one more thing." Catching his attention as he turned around, Heiji took a moment before he continued, lingering over the words. He hadn't been quite comfortable with saying it just yet, and in truth, he still wasn't quite there yet- but today, he thought, was special.

"Congratulations, Kudo."

* * *

Though it was the sort of thing that he'd come to learn was best not to voice, he couldn't help but feel that it was perhaps for the best that he wasn't a part of the wedding ceremony. That sort of thing really didn't suit him.

It wasn't just because of the noisy crowd of people, though they had certainly been a loud bunch. That old man with the mustache who had been crying through almost the whole thing- he was pretty sure that one was Ran's father, given the way he had given Shinichi the stink eye when it came time for him to say his vows.

Even the old man's crying couldn't do much deter what a lovely ceremony it was- if he allowed himself to get into such sentiments. A white Christmas wedding, with the wedding party all dolled up in white- even the guests had seemed to get the memo. Really, the only thing that it needed to make it picture perfect was snow, something which had failed to manifest.

Just watching the scene unfold before him, hidden within the shadow of a tree was enough for him. It was probably for the best that it hadn't snowed- though he'd managed to escape from that world of black, it still clung to him, at times more literally than others. Dressing in black had become something of a habit at this point, one that wasn't so easy to break, though Kazuha had certainly tried.

Speaking of Kazuha though... it was almost unfair, the way she looked today. Today was supposed to be the bride's big day, and though Ran looked lovely in her wedding dress, the one who stole his attention away was her bridesmaid. He had surely never seen her more beautiful, for if he had, he was certain that it would be something that he would never be able to forget.

 _Ahh_ , Shinichi had been right. He was totally head over heels for her. At least now that he had been able to spend time with her, getting to know her again, both by speaking with her, and from the fragments of memories that had been trickling in, he could understand why. To think that she had been waiting for him for so long, even while everyone else around her thought him dead... he couldn't ask for a better childhood friend.

Honestly, what a terrible guy he was, going and forgetting her for so long.

And frankly, he couldn't help but feel that he didn't deserve her. Of course, if he ever told her such a thing, she would just chide him about it, telling him he was wrong, but... what was true was true, in the end. Toyama Kazuha deserved the best, and though he was slowly starting to work through his negative feelings for himself, he still knew that at the end of the day, he wasn't that, and would never be.

He wasn't that, but he was the one that she had chosen- but understanding that and accepting it were two different things. Honestly, watching her like this from a difference, as her face lit up as the bridge and groom stepped outside of the wedding hall, only served to illustrate that. At times unintentionally, and at others intentionally, he'd been putting distance between the two of them- a distance that had only grown since his memories slowly began to return to him.

As much as he wanted them back, and as much as he was happy to see them come, they only managed to prove what he already knew- that Hattori Heiji really was a different person from him. Similar, but different, in all the ways that mattered.

Still...

At the way Kazuha turned, her gaze falling on him, Heiji couldn't help but feel his shoulders relax, a soft smile spreading out across his face. He'd certainly changed too, the current him- in the past, he never would have been able to make such an expression. It was a slow but steady change, and one that he had no intention of resisting.

She'd done it once before, back when this had all started. He had to wonder if it was just because his gaze was that intense, or if it was simply because it was his eyes on her, that she managed to feel them. Not to too his own horn, but he was pretty good at watching people while going unnoticed- and even if they did manage to notice him, figuring out where he was watching them from was another thing entirely.

For Kazuha, that wasn't a problem.

Ah, and damn- now she was smiling at _him_. That radiant smile, in that fancy get up of hers? He'd had keeping his cover drilled into the very fiber of his being, and yet, that smile alone was almost more than enough to make him want to totally blow his cover, and go to her. What would be the problem anyways, if a hundred or so people were to learn that he was actually alive?

But he wasn't about to blow his one chance like that, so instead, he forced himself to remain hidden. Kazuha understood, he knew, though it almost pained him to watch her gaze slide away from him, and back onto the newly minted husband and wife.

"Okay!" Ran's voice broke through the cold winter air, just as sharp and clear as the air itself. Lofting her bouquet into the air, for just a moment, Heiji thought he saw something flicker in her gaze, as if she were communicating with someone in the crowd. "Here we go!"

A mop of barely tamed black hair, an impish grin, and a faint, almost squeaking sound from Kazuha were all the clues he needed to deduce what might have just happened- detective though he might no longer quite be. What it didn't do was stop his cheeks from turning a bright red color, almost match for match to that of Kazuha's own face, as she tried to comprehend what exactly had just fallen into her hands.

Weddings might not exactly be his thing, but he sure as heck knew what the meaning of catching the wedding bouquet was.

(In a world where Hattori Heiji once again existed, slowly but surely, things were beginning to move forward again.)


End file.
